Weekly AA Thread - Apr. 30 - May 6

[retteacher]

Hi Everyone: One of the biggest challenges for me in recovery is dealing w/life on life's terms. I love stability & fear change. So, when anything comes up, I try very hard to get back to stasis. When I was drinking, I thought maybe the problems would clear up while I was getting drunk. Of course, that was not the case, & I ended up not dealing w/issues & feeling bad about myself.

I've been thinking about the promises of the program which are usually read at the end of the meetings I attend. For me, "a new freedom & a new happiness" is accepting what is & changing what I can change. It's not trying to get my way about what others are doing & saying. I don't always succeed, as I'm a control freak, but I'm getting better on a daily basis.

Pingu: I so glad you've tried different meetings. Some are definitely better than others. Also, personalities can come into play. It's hard to stay above it all. I just try to remember that I had no success dealing w/my alcoholism before I joined AA. I tried everything I could think of including MWO. My own will just didn't do it, & I'm so happy as a sober person. Good luck.

Mary

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Apr. 30 - May 6

I spoke on Monday night at the big speaker meeting. I was pretty nervous, as there are 100 people at that meeting. I try to remember that the speaking isn't about me. Instead it's about trying to tell my story so that it might help someone else...hopefully a newcomer.

So much about AA is helping someone else & at the same time helping ourselves. I try to remember what someone told me very early on: "Trust God, Clean House, & Help Another Alcoholic." That about sums up the program for me.

M

[Unwasted]

Weekly AA Thread - Apr. 30 - May 6

Mary,

I admire your being able to speak at a meeting that large! I have such a fear of public speaking - I do great with a very small group, but never learned to navigate a large one. I love hearing people's stories! I never cease to be amazed at what people have been through and how UNapparent it is by just looking at them. I try to remind myself ......... you just never know what someone is going through or has been through. Looks often belie reality!

I'm still going to meetings and benefitting from them. For me, the best ones are during the week when most people are working - they're more intimate and I've really gotten a lot from one I go to on Friday mornings.

Mary, I too have control issues and let a lot of the things going on in the world get to me. I'm trying to learn how NOT to do this anymore......it's a process to be sure!

Take care everyone.

UN

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Apr. 30 - May 6

Some of the stories I've heard are totally incredible. I've walked out of the meeting shaking my head & saying to myself: "It's a miracle he/she is alive!" When I wonder about or question an HP, I remember those walking miracles. I could not do it alone, so there must be some kind of HP. M

[leciejo]

Weekly AA Thread - Apr. 30 - May 6

I have watched my big brother go from hopeless to 10 years sober with AA. I, myself, wasn't as bad as he was, of course and didn't need it. I went to my first meeting last night and I am poking my way around. I have made a promise to myself to go to one meeting every day until I find a sponsor. I will take one phone number from every meeting with me. So far, that is my plan. I am the queen of control freaks and this scares the crap out of me. I love that I found this thread and will follow it faithfully.
I asked my husband last night, "would you rather have a wife involved in AA or a drunk?" It scares me that he could not answer and pleaded the fifth. Not sure what that means. Thanks

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Apr. 30 - May 6

lecie: Please remember the 3rd tradition of AA: (paraphrase) "There is no requirement for membership in AA except the desire to stop drinking." You don't have to be a falling down drunk. I was a functional alcoholic...maintaining a teaching career while drinking. My husband too was leery about my joining AA & admitting my alcoholism. He didn't know the extent of my drinking, as I hid it well. Now, he actually attends some meetings w/me & is an honorary member of the fellowship.

Regarding your plan: It's excellent! Good luck. Please come back & share how you're doing.

Mary

PS: Your brother's story is not unusual. He can be a real help to you.

[Unwasted]

Weekly AA Thread - Apr. 30 - May 6

Lecie, it took my husband a while to really understand that I have a drinking issue. Once I got the point across (after a very long time of trying to stop) he got on board. Now he just supports whatever it takes to help me not go back to that dark place! Most people have no clue about AA, really. I know I didn't. There are things about it that are "not me" but I just get past them and take the parts that help me. You husband probably thinks AA is for old men who just came in off the park bench. My groups have many professional people and soccer moms, which is anything but the stereotype. I think what's important is that we recognize that we have a problem and are willing to do whatever it takes to solve it. Going to AA was so out of my comfort zone, I can't even begin to tell you. I'm not religious and have had to stretch on that front, but I'm doing it. The human interaction and support from the group is worth it for me. Wishing you the best!

I wasn't a falling down drunk either. Like Mary, I functioned quite well in the eyes of others!

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Apr. 30 - May 6

My husband was in some amazing denial. Yes, I hid it well, but he also blocked out a lot.

I loved what UW says about alcoholics. They come in all types from priests/nuns to street people...everything in between. No one is better or worse than the other.

M

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Apr. 30 - May 6

Great to see you all here this week. I am in Puerto Rico for 10 days....yes...I'm working. I hope to get to an English speaking meeting, I found a few online.
Like Mary, I was a functional alcoholic. However AA has provided me with over 2 years of sobriety and I had never done that on my own. All I know is it works for me.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Apr. 30 - May 6

Phil: Me too. I was the relapse queen on my own. I'm made of some tough stuff, but my will (which is iron in other matters) was nothing against alcohol. M