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**LillyE** · July 20, 2012, 01:33 AM

AF day Friday 20th

Mick;1352353 wrote: Lilly E...good morning and how are we this fine day?Well done on day 20. You will be fine tonight just stay focused Just watch and listen to the Karaoke without a drink...It will look and sound different.. didn't say better ,just different!!

Ha ha Mick - that's what I'm afraid of. I find karaoke a bit torturous when I'm three sheets to the wind! I may develop a "headache" and have to leave early. That headache might not even need quotation marks.

It's still yesterday here, today. Um? I guess that makes me your resident time traveller. Or retrograde. Or... something. So that means Friday night is still ahead of me, which I always find THE toughest time of the week though it feels a bit easier here on Friday # 3. It's that shifting into the weekend drinks association I think. Anyway, I have dinner plans with a friend. She said her and her workmates were knocking off at 4:30 to go to a bar. I think I will join them a bit later...

I probably won't post much over the weekend as a lot going on but I'll try to swing by and tell you about sober karaoke.

Have a beautiful day/weekend all!

**lifechange** · July 20, 2012, 02:46 AM

AF day Friday 20th

a very good morning to you all!!
Mick, the coffee is delicious! thank you. what are your plans for the weekend? the sun is shining here, though it's quite chilly--but it's supposed to be fairly dry into next week. we'll see.
Lilly, you'll have a fab time at the party!! kareoke is a complete nightmare for me sober or drunk. i would rather die than participate!! but i am incredibly shy when it comes to performing in front of more than 2 people (those being my kids!). let me know how the pasta goes. i got my youngest a pasta maker for her 7th birthday (she loves pasta) and she was so excited. we make tagliatelle often (its about as easy as opening a pck) and once the dough is made, she can basically do it on her own. i want to try some filled pastas soon. have a great weekend and do let us know how it goes at the party.

Sunflower, congrats on your award!! very cool. i also often think of all the things--work related--i want to do and know i can do sober. everything is so much more manageable and meaningful without the drink. i find that even in the most mudane activities i can find something worthwhile. something meaningful. crazy it is.

**lifechange** · July 20, 2012, 02:52 AM

AF day Friday 20th

Shue, when i heard the news last night, i was wondering how you would be affected. i'm so sorry for all of the people who lost their lives and are hurt. and their families. and all of you living so close who are then also involved. please do be safe on your long drive and check in here and update us whenever you have some spare minutes.

Lav, cute car!! it looks zippy, lucky gal! i wish you could send some heat this way, and i'd love to send you some rain. lord knows we've had enough.

Pap, great going on the interviews and wishing you the best for the 3rd. are you doing similar work now? will this be a complete change or a step up?

wishing you all a super duper sober friday.
Life

**shueaddict** · July 20, 2012, 02:55 AM

AF day Friday 20th

Good morning early bird Mick, did you catch the worm yet? I love the new avatar and your posts. It is nice to have the humor ever present ... and the coffee, yum. Do let us know how the tests go. It’s been over a year since my last ones … you reminded me I need to do this too.

My relatively new routine involves waking up early and doing my cardio at the crack of dawn. It gives me a feeling of wellbeing and achievement all day. I think exercise is an essential part of the “healing”. Those good endorphins I get after breaking into a proper sweat keep me calm and happy pretty much all day. And no … no weight loss yet, talk about someone trying to teach me “delayed gratification”.

Apologies for not being so coherent in my post yesterday, I was properly upset. Sad about the poor tourists but mostly angry, angry as hell that someone would do that … in bloody Bulgaria out of all small and insignificant places!!! Short term this will have a huge impact on the fledging tourism. And I am mad they are increasing the check in time with one hour on all flights WHY???? Are they going to strip us now ? Is it going to make the Israelis feel better? I doubt it. If someone is willing to give their own life NO security measures will prevent that. Sorry I am ranting again – this will eat hours of my precious time for months to come.

Yes, Lilly – I travel quite a bit for my work – asset management / real estate / distressed assets - working for a bank. I love what I am doing but I had to admit that the last project I took on almost 2 years ago was also the one that precipitated my drinking. More stress + more travel + more success resulted in more drinking. Recently I found myself saying no to a lot of extra work – my former functional alcoholic self would have never done that. Pap and Momof 3 have stressed quite a bit the importance of saying no sometimes. Please continue to write here, make good use of those fast typing skills.

As for sober karaoke … about 3-4 weeks ago I went bar hopping on the coast, sober – ended up in a folk bar and everyone said … repeatedly … “you must have at least 2 drinks, you cannot go there sober, you will not enjoy it”. I said “just watch” – I fed off the party- happy atmosphere and danced until 5 AM, watched the sunrise over the sea then drove to my hotel. I got the biggest buzz. I felt 18 again.

Pap – way to goooooo, and incidentally, what is happening with the Psychedelic PinkPapMobile. Are you still pimping it?

Sunflower – welcome, I am sorry I missed you in my post yesterday. You are doing a great. Not celebrating success with AL is a huge step… there is so much conditioning between celebration and clinking glasses. It took me a while not to do that.

Lifechange, we must exchange some recipes, the weekend is coming – my time to cook. And I am thinking fish. Pasta is off the menu for me, trying to stay off wheat.

Turn – I love the new avatar …

Lav – great to see you clucking over a calm nest again and thank you for thinking of me.

Greetings to Greenie, Det, Kas, Mo3 and many others we have not seen in some time, I hope you are all enjoying the summer ( sorry Southern Hemisphere)

**papmom3** · July 20, 2012, 05:33 AM

AF day Friday 20th

Morning Fabbers!!

Shue-Serenity Prayer. That is all.

Life-it's a total change and a step down within the same org. I'm OK with the step down as long as salary stays level or god forbid they even give me a tiny bump!! the important thing is that I will be totally out of Student Services and Enrollement Management and will be learning all sorts of IT skills like SQL, dashboards, data warehousing, more complicated reports than I do now etc. The department is super cool-love all 4 people in it and it seems like they are OK with the learning curve. I've worked with all of them for the past 5 years so they know me and have watched me grow in that area (all the skills I learned on my own so formal training will be a luxory!!). One of the reasons they are considering me even tho I will need lots of training is that they can't or won't offer a salary competitive with the corporate world so their access to fully trained IT people is limited. Higher Ed has its benefits for sure, salary isn't one of them.

Shue-Yes, I'm still working on the Paphut. I'm hoping to get some of the mechanics finished up on Sat and then I can work on cleaning up inside. Hard rollout is Columbus Day weekend in Oct. Soft rollout is tentatively scheduled for Aug 10 but I don't see how I'll be able to do a dry run before then and I don't really want to make my first trial run a 2 hour trip!! May scratch that idea and shoot for Oct. Really wish I had the $$ to get a hotel room for Aug. Don't like the idea of going 3 months between trials. Not good for DD-he doesn't get enough exercise as it is!

Mick-thanks for the wake up!

Lilly-My gut says don't go tonite. You're not ready. Headaches can come on anytime

.

Life-how cool you and your DD make your own pasta!! Fun!!

OK, I've procrastinated enough. I should be off today making it a 2 day weekend but thanks to my $#%^ boss, I have to go in. Grrrr.

**porqoui** · July 20, 2012, 06:10 AM

AF day Friday 20th

Morning Mick, thanks for the coffee. Yet again nothing has happened reguarding court. Sitting around waiting for something to happen is driving me crazy, but at least I have no thoughts of AL. Sent a stern yet sober email to my lawyer requesting a status update and was pleasantly surprised when I got a definitive answer. Next plan is approval of Consent Order and acceptance by opposing counsel on Tuesday. It definetly helps me when I have a plan.

Speaking of plans, met with my Sponsor for the first time yesterday afternoon and I now have a plan for working the AA program. I want to achieve that peace and serenity that so many of the "old timers" have. Looking forward to delving into my homework this weekend.

Good Luck to everyone with their AF plans for today and the weekend.

**Lavande** · July 20, 2012, 07:15 AM

AF day Friday 20th

Good morning Abbers far & wide!

Thanks for the coffe Mick - you're getting pretty good at starting us up

Yes, I had a great time with my friends at lunch yesterday! We've all know each other for 25+ years, worked together, watched our kids grow up, etc

And now we're a bunch of aging, empty nesters sharing grankids stories :H
I am grateful to be alive, healthy & sober to experience this part of life, believe me!
My car color is 'Autumn', kind of reddish-brown. I put 40 miles on it yesterday, fun to drive!
My chickens have all survived so far this summer, bless their little hearts :H
Had some rain overnight so it has cooled down a bit.

Greetings lifechange, Lily, Shue, papmom & porqoui!
Glad to see everyone doing well. I have to say that I have never done any karaoke & I'm sure I never will. I am no performer in any way, shape or form. I am perfectly happy to let everyone else have at it

Lily, I stayed home & in the house for 3 months when I decided to quit drinking! I had no desire to put myself into any situation where AL was present. It was an important part of my plan & I certainly have no regrets. I think a major headache should be part of your weekend plan.....
You need solid AF time under your belt before putting yourself in a potentially dangerous situation. That's my 2 cents!

Shue, terror attacks come in all shapes & forms. I'm listening to news now of a mass shooting overnight in a Colorado movie theater - 14 dead & 50 wounded

My heart goes out to those poor souls hurt & injured at the hands of a crazy man.

papmom, learning new things helps keep our minds young! My fingers are crossed for you!

porqoui, great to hear you have a plan in place now, wishing you the best!

OK, time to get in that snappy little car of mine & get myself to Curves...gets the blood going!!

Lav

**Kaslo** · July 20, 2012, 11:00 AM

AF day Friday 20th

Good morning Abstinencers, its just past 830 AM here but many of you will be off on your daily stuff already. Thanks for strarting us up again Mick, you sound good. Very positive. And that is good. AL makes us dwell on the negative, and that is usually because there ARE negative things in our lives. Being AF usually means, as Greenie has pointed out, we can cope with them without self injury.

Lilly, how crazy important is a drinking contest to you during your first three weeks of trying to achieve sobriety? I know the person is important, but the event possibly is a pitfall. Lav and Pap have suggested dont go, and ima do the same. Send flowers. Give her or him your fondest regards, but dont put yourself in the middle of a booze fest when you still have residual issues with AL.

This happens all the time. Reformed drinkers, well... they drank, and their social scene revolved around alcohol. So finding some way out of that social scene is challenging, but its NOT ROCKET SCIENCE.

Anyway enough of a rant.

Shue dahlink, sent you a PM. Very sorry to hear about the terrorist attack, that is so scary and will effect travel in your part of the world for a long time. But maybe not as badly as you might think. We got used to it sort of in North America.

BTW, I travel in the far north, where you get on the plane WITH your shotgun, in its case of course, and then get off to check it through security at the airfield in the southern part of the north in order to continue our journey to Vancouver or Edmonton. So its pretty funny up here. I am leaving for the north again on Tuesday, and I am very glad we have been free of problems for a while here, touch wood. And whistle.

Lav glad you have cooler temps.

Pap you go girl. And then maybe go even further, and take what ever they teach you in IT to a better paying job elsewhere.

Lifechange, you are aptly self named. I loved your comment on how even mundane things become better somehow. THat is very true. In my first couple of months I found that just being out in the fresh air gave me a feeling of joy, something I had not experienced for a long time. AL suppresses a whole nbunch of useful thinkgs and enahnces a while bunch of othere negative things. Sobriety tends to even stuff out and make the good stuff shine. Except apparently Kaslo typingc skills.

Well, yes Pap, Kitchen done. FOUR Days fer fecks sake. Just rediculous. Who put all the corners and edges and windows and doors and crap in the average north american kitchen? Kitchens should be round, with a sprinkler in the centre and a drain hole in the middle. Gotta go to work. See you guys.

One thing is for sure.

**papmom3** · July 20, 2012, 05:26 PM

AF day Friday 20th

:H Kas!! I have to agree with you on our description of the perfect kitchen!! About 13 years ago when I actually got time off from work in the summer, I got real motivated and painted my whole kitchen and pantry, including the ceiling. It was such a process (stripping wallpaper, patching etc) that when I was done and decided I HATED the color scheme, I couldn't bear to start over. So it has stayed all these years even tho it no longer matches my countertops and flooring. Nobody visits anymore-funny thing when you get a reactive dog-you lose all your friends-so I really don't care and am happy to leave it be until which time I can sell and then I will hire someone to give the whole house a mini makeover just to spruce it up a bit.

Well, Lilly, anxious to hear how your nite went and if you heeded the advice of long termers or not and if not, were you able to resist temptation and pressure?

Lav- I have such a neat visual of you zipping around in your new ride!! Wasn't today egg day or do they not lay in such heat? Glad you got a mini cold front come through!

Greenie-thinking of you and hopeing things are straightening themselves out. :l

Boss came in today at 3 for a meeting. he looked like hell! Unshaven, raggedy jeans and a flannel shirt (it was only around 70 today). Things are not going well with the reorg and his boss won't listen to a thing he is saying. Its almost like its on purpose. And yet, I truly agree with him. This is going to be a disaster come August 1. things are changing by the minute. He's asked me to go to another office for 3-6 months if his boss approves (which she won't but he's in la la land) to help out during the initial phase of the reorg. I am happy to do that. I'll be out from under his scrutiny and micromanaging and will have a chance to show the idiot who didn't hire me last year what I can really do. But of course, if I get the IT job its all a moot point.

Stay tuned for the next chapter in this soap opera!!

**Turnagain** · July 20, 2012, 06:31 PM

AF day Friday 20th

Just happy to have yet another day up here....

Happy to see life go on with purpose here in AfLand.

Carry on.

And Lily...IF you end up going to Kare-if-you're-dopey tonight...be prepared to be BORED. I tell you drunks are easily entertained...but are NOT nearly as entertaining as THEY think they are. I know. I was one.

**Lavande** · July 20, 2012, 07:39 PM

AF day Friday 20th

Hi Turn - you sound rather happy

Life IS good!

papmom - star of her very own soap opera!!!!!
You bet we'll stay tuned, we all want to see you win the Emmy

I deliver eggs on Wednesdays to my fan club :H Production does go down when the heat settles in but I still get enough. My flock will be 2 years old in September so I really should think about starting up another but I'm not sure......

No one is more CLUCKING HAPPY than I am that the Newbies Nest has settled down. I sometimes think people just don't think before they post certain things. Some comments are inappropriate or just plain insensitive to the majority of newbies trying to get those first few precious AF days under their belts

Some people are in such denial about their drinking problems & just not ready to put the work in & commit themselves to their quits. I totally understand all that but that it is no excuse for passive-aggressive behavior :dang:

I am happy to say that the temp has dropped to 65 degrees tonight ~ nice!

**TheSunFlower** · July 20, 2012, 09:03 PM

AF day Friday 20th

Thank you to everyone for posting. I find them all inspiring.

So today I am pouting as I really want to go have dinner at this one place and watch the bands play. There is AL there and in the past I always drank there even though....80% of the people do not drink as they are waiting to take the stage....and its a very big deal to not be under the influence when taking the stage. I went off to 2 meetings and decided it would not be a good idea for me to go there.

So.....I pull out my Living Social deal and take the hubby and kids off for pizza and laser tag....at a kids place. I walk in.....and 90% of the people (of age) are drinking cold beer...my drink of choice! I can't leave as now my kids think I am the coolest Mom in the world taking them there. I found a booth where I could have my back to almost everyone....texted my recovery friends and sponsor like crazy. Made my hubby go get my soda refills so I don't have to look at the beer. Hubby and I had a great talk about everything important in our lives (with me bitching a bit about how could this have happened!)

NOW....I find where all the drinking parents hang out....after I quit drinking. I am glad to say....that I came home unscathed. God threw me in the swimming pool before I thought I could swim.

But....it was because of my AA meetings, my decision to not drink prior to going, texting my support group and my hubby. I do not think I am safe....and would not purposely put myself in that situation anytime soon. But, I am glad to know that if I do get caught off guard I know what to do.

Its a little wild to think last week at this time I was running around drunk downtown....it was that night that I truly understood that I DO NOT have a stop button. I'd pay good $$ to have one installed.....but, life I know is better without AL....so it would be wasted $$....and God knows I spent enough on that stuff.

**Kaslo** · July 20, 2012, 10:11 PM

AF day Friday 20th

Well done SFlower. Fantastic that you managed to get though that unscathed.

To be successful i think everyone has to have the ultimate understanding that we are done. We can want to quit, we can take a stab at it, but we have to know that we really are done. Otherwise there is a back door open. So.... you know you dont have a stop button, and you coped in a seriously hard situation, so WELL DONE! Also you are SO lucky to have your kids and husband on side. He has your back and that is so fantastic. You did good.

k

**Turnagain** · July 20, 2012, 10:49 PM

AF day Friday 20th

Way to go Sunflower!!!! YOU rock. Even on the other side of a stage!

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