AF Daily - Sunday, July 22nd

[shueaddict]

Good morning, my affies,

I have laid out tea and coffee and French toast with homemade jam for you. Do drop by for coffee and a wee chat.

I went for an early morning hike, garden center for new flowers and I am now working on my tan.

I look forward to hearing how your day is shaping up.

Hubby really felt like having white wine with the mussles yesterday, I told him we have none in the house, "Really ? I really feel like it" He gasped and proceeded to eat and forgot all about it. Before I would have gone straight to the shop - 2 min drive - to get my fix. Amazing how he can really get the urge then do nothing all about it.

Have a super day.

[SAUSAGE]

AF Daily - Sunday, July 22nd

Morning Shue and all to follow

Day 150 for me today !

No sun here, certainly won't be getting a sun tan!

No real news, lots of housework to do, kids are getting bored with all the rain, it's the school holidays - they've been off 3 weeks now and my daughter complained yesterday she was bored and wanted to go back to school. In Scotland they go back mid August!!

Will drop by again later.

[lifechange]

AF Daily - Sunday, July 22nd

good Morning Shue! thanks for making the coffee.! i think i will have another cup. what kind of jam are we having? i love homemade jam. way to go on not having wine in the house. i've also cleared everything out. my bf is also easy with not drinking--can take it or leave it. crazy--that was never me. i've admitted to myself recently that my true goal was always to get shit-faced and now it's so clear. i do live in berlin-- have been here almost 14 years. my kids are 7+ and 10+. and yours? i can't remember.

Sausage!! great going on all those days. you are one of my heroes--after being thrown off for quite a spin, your resolve and strength is inspiring. i hear you with the rainy (and cold, here!) summer break.. serious bummer as we'd planned to spend everyday swimming in the lake. today is a bit sunnier though not particularly warm. how old are your kids?

where's Mick? missing out on all the coffee!! and french toast.

Sunflower, you cracked me up with your i'm an alcoholic tshirt idea. i've actually been considering getting one for myself. at the very least it would give people something to wonder about.! how old are your kids? it seems like you've talked to them about your problems with al.? that was so sweet of them to try and help you out.

[porqoui]

AF Daily - Sunday, July 22nd

Morning Shu, Saus, LC, and yes where's Mick, your coffee's getting cold. Looking forward to another sunny AF day before the rains hit tomorrow. Thanks for the coffee I'll check in later.

[lifechange]

AF Daily - Sunday, July 22nd

Lilly, i'm very happy to hear of the success of your evening. i'm so proud of you for doing what you had to do to stay sober!! i was going to tell you i was recently invited to a bar bday gathering where the birthday girl very warmly invited me to come. i knew i couldn't but i didn't know how to tell her--in the end i asked her if it would be possible for me to pick her up one evening for dinner to post-celebrate instead and she was really pleased with the idea. i know i have to be very careful with uncomfortable situations--'cause i PANIC!
you asked and i have to say i am just on day 9 completely AF. when i started posting here last weekend it was just my 2nd day and i felt unsure as to whether or not that was ok. i know it's early in the game, but i feel so sure. i think my turnng point was this conversation with my daughter--the perfect woman one. i realized shortly afterwards the extent to which i'd be letting her (and her sister) down if i didn't at least attempt to give them a positve female role model. i don't want to live with the guilt, to be honest. as i've mentioned before, i was 10 when my mom disappeared into alcohol for the rest of my childhood. and this lack of a mother and strong positive role model--has left me barely floating for most of my adult life. and has left my mom full of sorrow. i don't want to continue.

sorry so long.
hi to Lav, porquoi, turn, pap, kaslo!!
a lovely sunday to you all!!
Life

[lifechange]

AF Daily - Sunday, July 22nd

as i was signing my name i remembered a great song that you may already know--
but if not, look up on you tube (i don't know how to post links!! sorry)

Nina Simone ain't go no/got Life--there's a good version by von nina festival.

[Mick]

AF Daily - Sunday, July 22nd

Hi all yep still here.Was up and out really early.Doing this by phone.Well done sausage.Will be on later. Mick

[Lavande]

AF Daily - Sunday, July 22nd

Good Sunday morning Abbers!

Thanks for the coffee shue. I made some English muffins a few days ago & meant to share them with everyone here


Greetings Sausage! Nothing worse than bored kids Sausage. I used to hand my kids a vacuum cleaner & dust cloth when they complained of boredom......they figured out pretty quickly to stop complaining :H

lifechange, congrats on your AF time. You are setting a good example for your daughters & that's something to be proud of right now

Greetings porqoui, Mick & everyone else!
I'm heading outside to work in my flower beds a bit before the day heats up too much. Not sure what else is going on yet but I'm sure I'll figure it out!

Have a terrific AF Sunday!
Lav

[Kaslo]

AF Daily - Sunday, July 22nd

Good morning AFiners. Thanks Shue, lovely start. You sound like you have had the perfect day. Isnt it wonderful to have a complete day where you dont have to cope with alcohol? Especially the first part of the day, but, dang it all, the whole day and evening too. Your comment on your husband being able to just forget it is one of the reasons I quit. I realized that normal people could do that, and that I could not. I would drop everything roar off in the truck, come back and proceed to drink the whole thing. And often crack a second one and drink most of that too.

Congrats Sausage on 150 days, are you getting closer to calling it weeks? Math is not my strong point. You are doing really well, bored kids, eh? I used to get mine into everything there was going on. My daughter is doing the same with my grandkids. (2 and 3, if Lifechange wishes to know, lol!),

Lifechange I love what you have written here. I especially love the part where you talk about your committment to your kids. Mine coped, and they love me, but there are lots of problems, which I attribute to me being not present or incoherent at times. A lot. A. I was out in the bush and gone a lot, and B. when I was home I was passed out on the couch a lot. You have resolve. Thats a great thing to have, keep it up. Dammit if I can do it anyone can.

Also, Lifechange, dont feel shy. Or that you can get on here and say what ever is on your mind. I have seen people in firm denial writing on here every day about the AF life, then they disapeer into the abyss again, possibly because they dont deal with the reasons they drank. OR alternatively they actually quit and they are fine as frogs hair now. Never mind, I told myself I drank because i liked it. I was shyting myself.

Sunflower, I too liked your honesty and found it really great that your kids completely understand. You are so smart, I didnt clue in to the fact my kids knew and hated my drinking from a very early age. It was never discussed until I quit. I so admire that. You just might be saving your kids from our common fate...

Porquoi, hello to you. How are you doing...?

HI to Lav ...those muffins look ....like real English Muffins...terrific! Thats our weekend treat, to have an english muffin with scrambled eggs and ham... can you share the recipe?

By the way I used to love to cook with wine and lately I have been making a reduction with balsamic vinegar, and its delicious. Chicken sauteed in shallots and garlic, then lifted, big brown mushroom chunks, some basil, marjoram from the garden, removed, then a bit of balsamic into the pan, reduced slowly and a bit of cream whisked in, pour over the chicken mushroom dish, into the oven for a half an hour. MMMM..... Served with a raspberry + soda spritzer, green beans, salad and rice.

Everyone have a great day. Its lovely here.

k

[Guitarista]

AF Daily - Sunday, July 22nd

G'day all,

Kick some arse in your own way.

Ooroo.

G-bloke.

[Lavande]

AF Daily - Sunday, July 22nd

Hey kids!

The sun was out for about 5 minutes :H
Now I'm in the kitchen making a vegan barley/bean chowder. I am trying to kick some serious cholesterol ass. My levels have actually gone up since I quit my wine habit, figures.
My family history is horrendously filled with clogged arteries. My Dad (dead) & my two older brothers (slowly dying) could all be poster boys for what kind of lifestyle you should NOT have

Kaslo, I just love the recipes from King Arthur Flour.
I start with their recipe then modify........
I use white whole wheat flour where I can, add in a bit of flax meal & dairy alternatives such as almond milk & Smart Balance in place of butter. Everything turns out just fine with a lot less fat, calories & cholesterol
Breakfast Sandwich Muffins: King Arthur Flour

Your chicken dish sounds good, I'll give it a shot when someone is here to help eat it!

Hey there Mr G - how are you?

[Turnagain]

AF Daily - Sunday, July 22nd

Greetings ABba-dabba-DOERS! And boy howdy - ya'll are DOING this AF living right! Hugs to all and KUDOs to all of you relative newbies to AFland....you are really pumping up those AF muscles!

LillyE plunged into the den of drunkeness and saw just how really silly folks act and look while under the influence...

Sunflower made it past the bar and the beer aisle. Good for your kids for sheparding you through. I know MINE were sure keyed into my drinking. Now - they are proud of my Afness. In fact, it was my daughter who blurted the line - Sober for the Revolution! It sure is a personal awakening, isn't it?

LifeChange...you are successfully SHATTERING the cycle that could've continued for yet another generation...but there you go...obliterating that WALL - and for all the right reasons. Your daughter is right about you being the perfect woman. We see her, too. It takes tremendous inner strength to break away from this addiction.

Mick - You are doing an awesome job of embracing the JOY of living free from addiction. Gratitude is a powerful tool AND fuel for navigating life and you are using it well!

LAVattude is another powerful tool that I learned from our own LAVinator. Learning how to cut out the chatter and extraneous BS from ALL sources is essential to protecting our QUITs. It's also just a great skill to employ in general. YES to bored kids with brooms! Love it!

Shue you are doing great....learning to LOVE again after letting go of Mr. Sauvignon Blanc. Mr. SB eventually screws over EVERYONE he gets his hooks into. And well...you just don't realize you've been hooked until you see that BARB coming out of your belly sometimes. I am so glad you are here - you just brighten up our online world.

Miss Science Panties...I think I will try your basalmic reduction technique. I wasn't much for cooking with wine in the food...there was never enough since I was too busy putting it down my gullet. I hope the water is letting up a bit. I think you sent it our way?

Sausage you have been a big help and inspiration to a lot of folks around here with your comeback triumph.

Porqoui - I'm looking forward to getting to know you more....I am glad you're here!

G-man - ALWAYS good to see you. I am happy to see you surface with your usual cheery and cheeky tude! Ooroo to you, too!!!

Okay...gotta go tend to the parents. My Dad and Stepmom have gotten to the point where they bicker like brothers and sisters. Really. I do NOT want to age like this. No. Deep breaths. I am happy for the non-bickering moments to try to enjoy their company. Whew. I may have to bike to the gym in the rain just to have a few moments of QUIET. When my kids were little, I use to call this noise assault - CSB - Constant Sensory Bombardment. I can remember cherishing the rare moments of SILENCE. They are quibbling now over how to clean the stove top.

SERENITY NOW!

There. All better. Thanks for letting me shout here!



Hugs to all who are yet to come....

[Mick]

AF Daily - Sunday, July 22nd

Hi all how are you?Glad to se no-one has fallen off our wagon.Was up really early this morning, done a lot of walking today, and I am now what is known in the medical world as absolutely goosed.Thats day 19..another af weekend gone by Yessss!Bit tired so off to the land of Nod....normal service will resume in the morning.Have a nice af night all

Mick

[TheSunFlower]

AF Daily - Sunday, July 22nd

Just a quick check in....wrapping up day 9!

I know a few asked about my kids. My kids are 9 and 11, two boys.

My husband was addicted to pot....basically high 24/7. He quit about 2 weeks ago. But, in his immaturity he continously vented to them about my drinking....yes, while he was freaking high. The kids have no idea that Dad is anything, but perfect. His venting to the kids caused a lot of fights between us. A grown man should know better that kids of that age are not the ones to be discussing this with in the manner that he did. So MY problem became an open topic at the house. I love having their support....but, they really are too young to have been told all this the way that they were. I was the "bad" person with a problem....being told by a pot addicted Dad, that IMO was not mature enough to have regard for his kids mental well being.

Some people save for college.....I am saving for therapy.

[LillyE]

AF Daily - Sunday, July 22nd

Hi all!

Day 22 here - the longest I've made it AF for ages. Just 8 more days til 30 with one other major challenge ahead.

Thanks for all your great words re the sober karaoke. You all rock! I was worn out from the evening and exhausted when I posted about it, but after mulling it all over it I think I learnt some great lessons this weekend. Firstly, I do think those really trying situations are best avoided for now - even if they can be learning opportunities (why risk it?); secondly, even though there were awkward moments what I gained from being sober this weekend was much greater than those fleeting discomforts.

Yesterday I had the most lovely day food shopping, making pasta from scratch (fun!) and a delicious bolognese and watching DVDs with a friend. Had I gotten hammered at karaoke I almost certainly would have bailed on all that to be hungover and miserable. I also went out Friday night with friends drinking (much less challenging situation though) and later thought that had I been drinking I probably would have drunk a fair bit that night also and Saturday would have been soooo hard working at the launch event. It was hard work anyway and I even unexpectedly got roped into doing an interview for national radio - that all would have been NO FUN hungover and I would have been way less on the ball. I also made some nice food to take over to a friend who's hurt their leg and so can't walk or stand easily right now. It all made me reflect on how I'm more reliable, more competent, and a better friend sober and not hungover. It's nice to make commitments and know Al won't stand in the way. It's great to be more present.

Sausage, 150 days? Wow, that's FANTASTIC!!! You have well and truly gotten back on the wagon and are doing so well - you should be really proud. Six months coming up for you!

Lifechange, well done on 9 days. It's a good feeling to get to 10 isn't it? It does keep getting easier. Your idea re offering to take your friend out to dinner at a later date was a great one. I thought of doing that too if I hadn't of gone on Saturday. That way you're not just backing out and it's nice for them too. Just have a reason you're not drinking ready if she expects to order wine over dinner!

Thanks for sharing your turning point. I know that this time something felt different right from the start for me too. I think we know when we're reaching a place of acceptance and letting go of denial. And wanting to be a positive role model for your daughters and not repeat for them your own experience… well, that's a great motivator.

Kaslo, your dinner description made me hungry! I'm going to have to try that! I also loved your advice about being the most important person in my life right now. I think that's fantastic advice for any of us trying to recover from Al. We HAVE to put ourselves first and not worry might be bothered by our not drinking.

Sunflower, I also thought that was adorable your kids were supporting you. It's sad they found out the way that they did but they'll help keep you accountable, which is an upside.

Guitarista, always nice to see you here! I've missed seeing your posts around the boards lately. Hoping this means you're back for at least a visit.