af day Thursday 28 March

[treetops]

Hiya all - just a wee quick check-in. I am still in NZ but have been madly busy not so much preparing for the trip (I leave tomorrow!) but with work and other people's complications. I am fed up with talking!
So thats why I don't have any energy to respond to each of you all at the moment but be rest assured I am sober and making sure I have good strategies for my trip. I will check back in when I can but it might be a sporadic - as happens when you travel.:wave:

[Mick]

af day Thursday 28 March

Well here we are..nearly the weekend again...do you its not even 9 days ago that I said the very same thing!!!so how is everyone out there today all good I hope..according to legend should be starting to put the brakes on today...after a really busy day yesterday..dunno who dreamed that one up ..they were either on drugs alcohol or both!! Its Maundy Thursday..every bugger finishes at dinner!!
Weather is lovely outside,nice blue skies,little wispy white clouds skittering across the blue palette, a slight breeze just tickling the tops of the plants.....CUT!!!!!!..enough of this crap,yes the sky is blue, a bitter easterly wind blowing down from the hills bringing us more snow with a temp of minus 1..but with chill factor its -6!!

Tea and coffee on the go now for the thirsty throng...throng not thong!!!


And in no particular order off we go..Morning Det in San Franks disco..and how are you this morning ...sound a lot cheerier well done on the af front,good for you mate keep it up

Morning ppqp ...and how is the Director today..hope all is well on your casting couch ..cup o coffee and fag in hand..eh thats a ciggy!!:H

ok if you are going to remain in the comms chair, few tips

Answer the phone in a stupid voice
Give someone elses name
Dont say who or where you are..for instance..phone rings..answer.hello chief surgeon Calgary hospital
Phone rings directly after..repeat..they will soon get pissed off
Enter completely random words into the conversation
Call them by the wrong name
Let them burble on ..then say" what size did you want again"
Change your answer phone to.."hi there is no one here ,,but please leave your name and address ,then I can mail you the money to call someone that gives a shit!"
Read the newspaper/local curry house menu down the phone to them
Stop the conversation in mid sentence and start singing
Growl down the phone
Slurp coffee and belch..or make other air emitting noises and remark on their loudness
Have a tape of a western gunfight, police sirens and screaming playing in the background
If work is coming your way start making hissing and crackling noises,and shout that you cant hear

THE WRITTEN OR E MAIL

always have a read receipt..any priority work needing done, delegate by e mail..just type a couple of letters on to the e-mail and send it..other end opens it ,hey bingo read receipt..keep a folder for them ..and apply them to any outstanding work

Always blind copy the boss into everything..after a while he./she will get cheesed off reading them if you send enough and just delete them...hey presto the worlds your oyster!!

written work..keep a big hard copy folder..with same name scrawled all over it...keep photo copies of all work done in it..change all dates to within a week of the original request

Late work excuses

Pile of shredded paper stunt..it was on my desk and someone shredded it
washing machine..similar
Dog chewed it ..similar

Have fun..meanwhile heres a coffee!!!

Morning BHOG...how are you?havent read the post..but would suggest ..candle and jar of vaseline ..just in case you tell boss to shove it!!

Goet morgen ltlw..aha the dreaded computer itis..think we all suffer from that now and again
First aid requirements:
cup of coffee
lie down
emission of expletives...language choice optional
Tel no of local PC Shop
Large tube of supa glue
Photo of what it looked like before you bounced it off the wall!!
Local window repair agency number

Apart from that alls good in your world?how is the Dutch lessons going?...and moreso..how is the af going? youre doing really well stay with it

Hiya SF..glad to here everything is going well for you..you seemed to have pulled some inner strength from somewhere good for you

Mornin Lav ..and how are you today? busy day today for you is it?Off to spoil Will are you?hopefully he is on the mend day by day.best wishes ..and Im sure thats from all of us on here.
Dont know what your health system is like over there...I used to moan about ours..how crap it was, how you have to wait and wait for appointments..also had some pretty poor experiences of individuals....but when the wheel came off for me couldnt have asked for better..kind of puts a different slant on it!..so yes I will still moan etc...but at least I am here to moan!!!:H
Talking about moaning...yes heres your coffee..not forgotten....you have a great day

Morning no sugar an how are you doing? ok I hope smoking fags to cold turkey? cant say the thought of rolling up a turkey in ciggy paper far less trying to light it does anything for me!!:H have a great day

Afternoon tt..and how are you?Panicking like mad?..quick update sun is shining ..especially for you!!!!have a safe trip


Last till best eh? morning Kuya..how are you today? hows the nicotine cravings doing? stick with it mate..I know you will.Didnt do too much yesterday so off to the pool today defo ..kick ass time..slipped yesterday and fell..again !! grrr so bums a wee bit sore.What you up to this evening?whatever it is have a good one


Right everyone..its goodnight from me..and its goodnight from him.........have a great day

1. Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
2. Borrow money from a pessimist -- they don't expect it back.
3. Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.
4. Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
5. I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
6. Never answer an anonymous letter.
7. It's lonely at the top; but you do eat better.
8. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
9. Always go to other people's funerals, or they won't go to yours.
10. Few women admit their age; few men act it.
11. If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made with meat?
12. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
13. Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
14. We have enough youth. How about a fountain of "Smart"?
15. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
16. Campers: Nature's way of feeding mosquitoes.
17. Always remember that you are unique; just like everyone else.
18. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
19. There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't.
20. Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
21. Nuke the Whales.
22. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.
23. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
24. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
25. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
26. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
27. Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
28. Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.
29. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
30. You can't have everything; where would you put it?
31. I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. The golfer says to himself, "I'd give anything to sink this next putt."

A stranger walks up to him and whispers, "Would you give up a fourth of your sex life?"

The golfer thinks the man is crazy and that his answer will be meaningless but also that perhaps this is a good omen and will put him in the right frame of mind to make the difficult putt and says, "OK." And sinks the putt.

Two holes later he mumbles to himself, "Boy, if I could only get an eagle on this hole."

The same stranger moves to his side and says, "Would it be worth another fourth of your sex life?"

The golfer shrugs and says, "Sure." And he makes an eagle.

Down to the final hole. The golfer needs yet another eagle to win. Though he says nothing, the stranger moves to his side and says, "Would you be willing to give up the rest of your sex life to win this match?"

The golfer says, "Certainly." And makes the eagle.

As the golfer walks to the club house, the stranger walks alongside and says,"You know, I've really not been fair with you because you don't know who I am. I'm the devil and from now on you will have no sex life."

"Nice to meet you," says the golfer. "My name's Father O'Malley."

An F-111 was flying escort with a B-52 and generally making a nuisance of himself by flying rolls around the lumbering old bomber.

The message for the B-52 crew was, "Anything you can do, I can do better."

Not to be outdone, the bomber pilot announced that he would rise to the challenge.

The B-52 continued its flight, straight and level, however.

Perplexed, the fighter pilot asked, "So? What did you do?"

"We just shut down two engines."

A man went to see his docter concerned about a mysterious ring that he had found around the tip of his penis.

The docter looked him over and immediatly gave him a lotion to rub around the infected spot and told him to come and see him in the morning.

The man come back in joy saying that the ring around the tip of his penis had all but disapeared like it was a miracle.

He curiously asked the docter, the lotion you gave me is it some new wonder drug?

The docter replied chuckling, no my good friend it was lipstick remover.

A man walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me two shots." Bartender says, "You want them both now or one at a time?" The guy says," Oh, I want them both now. One's for me and one's for this little guy here," and he pulls a tiny three inch man out of his pocket.

The bartender asks "He can drink?"

"Oh, sure. He can drink."

So the bartender pours the shots and sure enough, the little guy drinks it all up.

"That's amazing" says the bartender. "What else can he do, can he walk?"

The man flicks a quarter down to the end of the bar and says, "Hey, Jake. Go get that." The little guy runs down to the end of the bar and picks up the quarter. Then he runs back down and gives it to the man.

The bartender is in total shock. "That's amazing" he says, "what else can he do? Does he talk?"

The man says "Sure he talks, hey, Jake, tell him about that time we were in Africa and you made fun of that witch doctor's powers!"


One day, a man walks into a dentist's office and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth.

"Eighty dollars," the dentist says.

"That's a ridiculous amount," the man says. "Isn't there a cheaper way?"

"Well," the dentist says, "if you don't use an anesthetic, I can knock the price down to $60."

"That's still too expensive," the man says.

"Okay," says the dentist. "If I save on anesthesia and simply rip the teeth out with a pair of pliers, I can knock the price down to $20."

"Nope," moans the man, "it's still too much."

"Well," says the dentist, scratching his head, "if I let one of my students do it, I suppose I can knock the price down to $10."

"Marvelous," says the man, "book my wife for next Tuesday!"


A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one Friday evening that reads:

Dear Wife (that's what he called her):

I am 54 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy 18 year old secretary.

When he arrived at the hotel there was a letter waiting for him that read as follows:

Dear Husband (that's what she called him): I too am 54 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with my handsome and virile 18 year old toy boy.

You being an accountant will therefore appreciate that 18 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18.

A guy calls a law office and says: "I want to talk to my lawyer."
The receptionist replies, "I?m sorry, but he died last week."
The next day he phones again and asks the same question. The receptionist replies, "I told you yesterday, he died last week."
The next day the guy calls again and asks to speak to his lawyer. By this time the receptionist is getting a little annoyed and says, "I keep telling you, your lawyer died last week. Why do you keep calling?"
The guy says, "Because I just love hearing it."

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversations. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

"Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, they come together. I come again. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a more."

"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Imma just tellun my friend to spella Mississippi."

[kuya]

af day Thursday 28 March

MAE folks........have a great trip TT

Thanks for the jokes Mick......luv em. Don't think I will get another swim this year.....the weather is not hot enough anymore. Tis a shame cos my friend from the UK arrives next Friday ......haven't seen her for 13 years ......still it remains mild and sunny.

I am still enjoying the gym but need to change my diet a bit ( and stop eating too late).

Laters gaters

KY

[Lavande]

af day Thursday 28 March

Good morning Abbers!

Up way too early again this morning. I need to change my little dog's internal clock, somehow.

Wishing you a safe trip TT!

The coffee is good as usual Mick, thanks.
I am not officially scheduled to do any kid watching today but you never know what will develop. My grandson was rather miserable the 5 hrs I watched him yesterday, to be honest. My DIL said he had a good morning & early afternoon though including a visit to his brother's preschool Easter party, so that's good. I have to remind myself that Will's recovery is going to take time. I just really want to see him get back to his usual busy little self.

Greetings Kuya & everyone. I hope everyone has a great AF Thursday. I need to sit down & do some menu planning for Sunday's feast.
Lav

[porqoui]

af day Thursday 28 March

MAE ALL...

TT...wishing you safe and sober travels.

Mick...thanks for the coffee. How did you get access to my webcam? Sitting on the casting couch with fag and coffee in hand is spot on. :H Thanks for the comm advice may have to actually try a couple of those.

KY...please ignore the fag talk, don't want to cause any triggers. Well summer couldn't last forever and I'm sure the weather will matter naught when your friend arrives.

Lav...you're right about giving Will time, just seems to move slowly while waiting for normal to return. Good luck with the menu planning, I personally am doing nothing special for easter.

Det...glad to hear all that positivity coming through.

Off to get 2nd cuppa and onto the jokes. Have a great AF Thursday all and all to come....PPQP

[BHOG]

af day Thursday 28 March

Mick-you make my day! Thanks for the chuckles.
not much else to say today, busy with work. (sigh)

[porqoui]

af day Thursday 28 March

No court today but it's because one of the CO-POA's called the lawyer to say she's ready to transfer trusteeship.
Don't know about the other POA but he was the one who wanted out in the first place.
They are meeting at the lawyers on Wednesday to sign documents. :yay:

Taking the next 4 days to do nothing! (except check in here) No thinking, organizing or planning.....PPQP

[learningtolovewinter]

af day Thursday 28 March

Just want to check in, wish u all well & say I am still hanging in there. I am quite busy these days with lots of planning for the big day. I pop in & out & want to say I find everyone's posts inspiring.
I hope this post does not disappear.... ? Best to all...

[learningtolovewinter]

af day Thursday 28 March

Omg my post disappeared again!!! Just wanted to wish everyone well & say I am still hanging in there!

[BHOG]

af day Thursday 28 March

LTLW-
It sounds like my computer at home and yours are the Devil's twins, I lose about 1/2 of my posts from home! LOL

[porqoui]

af day Thursday 28 March

WOW...I responded to you too LTLW, and there it is NOT!

But yours came back twice so we'll wait and see!

BHOG...you could be busy looking for work :H

[BHOG]

af day Thursday 28 March

PPQP-
Actually, my supervisor keeps telling me what a great job I am doing, and how pleased he is that I am on his team. He says I am a good example for the young ones. He is good to work for, but sometimes upper management is a bit daft...or drafty...or....

[TheSunFlower]

af day Thursday 28 March

Mick....I have no idea where you get the jokes....or how you have the time to post them! But, I enjoy them.

Lav....glad your grandson is on the mend....even though it is going slowly.

I am cranky and tired. I had one of those client meetings that just suck the life out you. This particular client sucks the life out of me on a consistent basis. I am just not in a place financially where I can drop him.

Mick....the inner strength I think comes from several sources. Doing a lot of yoga.... has made me so much more aware of sensations....physically and emotionally. I have found myself resolving long term issues. Feelings that I would have drank over before....I now crave a certain pose vs. a drink.

Reading the book..."Alcohol Lied To Me". Its not really anything new....but, for some reason the way it is put....it really resonated with me. After our meeting today....two of my bosses suggested going for a drink....the first thing that came to mind and I blurted out..."the LAST thing I need after that meeting is a drink".

Hope to check in over the weekend. Its a big pack weekend.

[BHOG]

af day Thursday 28 March

..."the LAST thing I need after that meeting is a drink".
WOW. What a paradigm shift that is! I wish I had used that many times over the years.

[YoungAtHeart]

af day Thursday 28 March

Hi All!

Just checking in. Back to the grindstone this weekend working on the house. My daughter will be with me, so hopefully, it will be a good one.

I'm glad to hear that everyone is doing reasonably well. Love the attitude, SF!

Happy trails, TT--I'll miss you.

Hugs all!
:l
YahYah