mae all..well Friday it is..start o the weekend...anyone got any plans for anything..skydiving bungee jumping etc?Over here its bank holiday Monday,so we have got a 4 day weekend.
Weather over here today aint so clever ..dry at the mo,but definitely looks like rain and it is blowing a hooley
tea and coffee on the go for all..
Morning ltlw..how are you today?hows the house hunting going? getting anywhere with that one?what about the painting? you getting much time in for that?
Good morning to you Cinders..hows things with you today?Those electronic cigs that you are talking about...in some places they are banned over here,because they dont actually know if there are any long term effects with them. Ive got 2 friends who both use them,and have done so now for a couple of years..instead of lighting up they have just swopped to vapourising!!!Its like a swop shop when they are together..."have you tried this flavour or that flavour?You can even get a Jack Daniels flavour
Yes we have got a cleaner too..as well as a gardener, dishwasher,part time car mechanic and a general labourer........and in my spare time :H.Glad the jokes make you smile...its kind of hard sometimes where to draw the line with correctness! anyway you have a good day
Morning Lav....$200....heres a biiiiiig cup of coffee!!how are you today? good move on your daughters part not doing the camping thing.Still got a wee bit to do in the garden but its "pottering about time now...theres a little border at the back fence I need to sort out properly, but thats an as and when job....The front border looks pretty good..especially with the grass cut.Out the back in the fields now,we have 10 horses in the field just behind the garden ,and beyond that one the farmer has put his longhorn cattle in it See him checking them at least twice a day so I think they are coming up for calving..hope he puts them in the field behind us same as last year...have you any plans for the weekend? mulch pile perhaps?Have a great day
Morning one rain swept ppqp....and how are you today? Have a brew..Im orf for my next one.So tis down time for you today?any plans for the weekend?As for saying no..dont shout louder...just have 2 cards in your pocket one with yes on it and one with no..and when people say can you ,will you etc ...just say hmm let me consult my card ,and take out the appropriate one!....simples
blondie gd day and how are you ?Ben and Jerrys? mm.You up to anything at the weekend?
As for looking after those 2 scrotes in hospital..agree entirely..as an outsider I would quite happily choke them to death, but when you are in a professional service delivering a professional service, the goalposts change and you switch off to the whys and wherefores and get on with it..The soldier that was murdered, lived in Middleton, probably about 7 miles from here..apparently his house is under armed guard now..dont know why
Hiya yahdoesnt sound too clever that!and how are you?What are you up to? Is the house up for sale yet?best of luck with it
Det....probably the most positive I have heard you for a long time...well done my friend on picking yourself up and moving on :thumbs:Enjoy the film...and the lamb!!!
Hiya Ky how you doing mate? you're pretty quiet at the mo..just busy? all ok.
Right thats it...time to get on wi me chores.....sigh!!! have a great day
Piccy start for the jokes!!!
I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week,
phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
A team of archaeologists was excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave. Written on the wall of the cave were the following symbols in order of appearance:
1. A dog 2. A donkey 3. A shovel 4. A fish 5. A Star of David
They decided that this was a unique find and the writings were at least more than three thousand years old. They chopped out the piece of stone and had it brought to the museum where archaeologists from all over the world came to study the ancient symbols.
They held a huge meeting after months of conferences to discuss what they could agree was the meaning of the markings. The President of their Society stood up and pointed at the first drawing and said, "This looks like a dog. We can judge that this was a highly intelligent race as they knew how to have animals for companionship. To prove this statement you can see that the next symbol resembles a donkey, so, they were even smart enough to have animals help them till the soil. The next drawing looks like a shovel of some sort, which means they even had tools to help them. Even further proof of their high intelligence is the fish which means that they had a famine that hit the earth whereby the food didn't grow, they would take to the sea for food. The last symbol appears to be the Star of David which means they were evidently Hebrews."
The audience applauded enthusiastically and the President smiled and said, "I'm glad to see that you are all in full agreement with our interpretations."
Suddenly, a little old Jewish man stood up in the back of the room and said, "I object to every word. The explanation of what the writings say is quite simple. First of all, everyone knows that Hebrews don't read from left to right, but from right to left. Now, look again, It now says: HOLY MACKEREL, DIG THE ASS ON THAT BITCH!"
A young boy was sat in class scratching his crotch. Teacher asked him what was wrong. The boy was embarrased explaining that he had recently been
circumcised and it was itchy. Teacher tells him to go to the office to ring his mum for advice. The boy comes back into class with his **** hanging out!
'What on earth are you doing.?' asks
the teacher. Boy replies, 'My mum said if I could stick it out till lunchtime she'd come and get me'.
An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Scot were sitting in a bar. The view was fantastic, the beer excellent, and the food exceptional.
"Y'know" said the Scot, "I still prefer the pubs back home. Why in Glasgow there's a little bar called McTavish's where the owner will buy your 5th drink after you buy 4."
...
"Well" said the Englishman, "at my local, the Red Lion, the barman there will buy your 3rd drink after you buy the first 2."
"Ahhh that's nothing" said the Irishman. "Back home in Dublin there's Ryan's bar. Now the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then when you've had enough they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid. All on the house."
The Englishman and the Scot immediately pour scorn on the Irishman's claims.
He swears every word is true.
"Well" said the Englishman, "did this actually happen to you?"
"No, not me personally," said the Irishman.
"But it did happen to my sister
Just got 15 Valentines cards! It's left me completely breathless.
That security guard at Clintons gave quite a chase!
An ugly girl approached me where I sat alone and she gave me a big smile.
'Single?' I asked.
'Yes,' she smiled. 'How did you guess?'
'Because you use this bus every fucking day. ??1.80 please,' I said, handing her the ticket.
I've just come out of the chippy with a meat and potato pie, large chips,
mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've
not eaten for two days'. I told him 'I wish I had your fucking will power'
A fat bird served me food in McDonalds at lunch time. She said 'Sorry about
the wait'. I replied 'Don't worry you slob you'll lose it eventually'
My father fought in World War I single-handedly destroyed the Germans' lines of communication. He ate their pigeon.
Paddy calls a wrong number at 3am. "Is that O'Malley's Bar?" he asks. "No it's not, this is a private residence." "Oh, I must have the wrong number. Sorry to have troubled you," says Paddy. "Ah it's no trouble," says the stranger. "I had to get up to answer the phone anyway."
A fella walks into a pet shop and says: ?Give me a wasp.? The shopkeeper replies: ?We don?t sell wasps.? He says: ?There?s one in the window.?
A fella walked into hospital and the doctor said: ?You?ve got three minutes to live.? The man said: ?Can you do something for me?? ?Yes,? he said. ?I?ll boil you an egg.?
I don't think my wife likes me very much. When I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.
A fella said to the doctor: ?What?s the good news?? ?You?ve got 24 hours to live.? He says: ?What?s the bad news?? And the doc says: ?We should have told you yesterday.?
* I rang British Telecom. I said, ?I want to report a nuisance caller.? He said: "Not you again.?
My uncle Jimmy took liver salts twice a day for 40 years. He died on Sunday, was buried Wednesday and the following Friday they had to go to the cemetery to beat his liver to death with a stick.
My wife said to me: ?If you won the lottery, would you still love me?? I said: ?Of course I would. I?d miss you, but I?d still love you.?
An Irishman's wife gave birth to twins. Her husband demanded to know who the other man was.
A brilliant young boy was applying for a job with the railways. The interviewer asked him: "Do you know how to use the equipment?" "Yes", the boy replied. "Then what would you do if you realized that 2 trains, one from this station and one from the next were going to crash because they were on the same track?" The young applicant thought and replied "I'd press the button to change the points witho...ut hesitation." "What if the button was frozen and wouldn't work?" "I'd run outside and pull the lever to change the points manually" "And if the lever was broken?" "I'd get on the phone to the next station and tell them to change the points," he replied. "And if the phone was broken and needed an electrician to fix it?" The boy thought about that one. "I'd run into town and get my uncle" "Is your uncle an electrician?" "No, but he's never seen a train crash before!"
Two women that are dog owners are arguing about who has the more clever dog. The first woman says 'My dog is so clever that every morning when the paper boy comes he picks the paper up off the floor and puts it on the table'. The second lady replies 'I know.'. How replies the first lady? The second lady says 'My dog told me'
A gypsy girl is about to get married.
Her mum says, ?Emerald, do you realise that when you are married, your husband will want to stick his prize possession in to where you pee?.
The daughter replied, ?Shut up Ma, how the hell is he going to fit his Transit van in the sink??
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.r />
The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.
Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.
Bloke goes to a doctors:
Doctor - 'You're going to have to stop masturbating'
Bloke - 'Why?'
Doctor - 'Because I'm trying to examine you'
I'm really worried about my Parrot.
He keeps saying, "I can't go on, I hate my life".
My housemate's too selfish to notice. He's always crying.
A husband and wife are having dinner at a fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open-mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away.
The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who the hell was that?"
"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."
...
"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce."
"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Infiniti or Lexus in the garage, and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."
Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm. "Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife.
"That's his mistress," says her husband.
"Ours is prettier," she replies.
I found a grey pubic hair on my di.k today but I wasn't half as freaked out as the two women in the lift with me.
I'd been seeing this Nurse for a few days and we finally got round to sex... As I stripped off I said to her, "You must have seen a few ****s where you work? How do you rate mine?"
She replied, "It's just slightly bigger than most I see."
I said, "Thanks, what sort of nursing do you do by the way?"
"I'm a Midwife" she replied.
The Ferrari F1 team fired their entire pit crew yesterday.
This announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the British government's 'Work for your Dole' scheme and employ some Liverpudlian youngsters.
The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Toxteth were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari's existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with millions of pounds worth of high tech gear.
It was thought to be an excellent, bold move by the Ferrari management team as most races are won and lost in the pits, giving Ferrari an advantage overevery other team.
Sadly
At the crew's first practice session, not only was the scouse pit crew able to change all four wheels in under 6 seconds but, within 12 seconds, they had re-sprayed, re-badged and sold the car to the Mclaren team for 8 cases of Stella, a bag of weed and some photos of Lewis Hamilton's bird in the shower.
A pervert makes a phone call and a woman answers.
The pervert, with heavy breathing, says, "I bet you have a tight arse with no hair?"
Woman replies, "Yes, he's watching the football - who shall I say is calling?"
Thats it folks cya
Weather over here today aint so clever ..dry at the mo,but definitely looks like rain and it is blowing a hooley
tea and coffee on the go for all..
Morning ltlw..how are you today?hows the house hunting going? getting anywhere with that one?what about the painting? you getting much time in for that?
Good morning to you Cinders..hows things with you today?Those electronic cigs that you are talking about...in some places they are banned over here,because they dont actually know if there are any long term effects with them. Ive got 2 friends who both use them,and have done so now for a couple of years..instead of lighting up they have just swopped to vapourising!!!Its like a swop shop when they are together..."have you tried this flavour or that flavour?You can even get a Jack Daniels flavour
Yes we have got a cleaner too..as well as a gardener, dishwasher,part time car mechanic and a general labourer........and in my spare time :H.Glad the jokes make you smile...its kind of hard sometimes where to draw the line with correctness! anyway you have a good dayMorning Lav....$200....heres a biiiiiig cup of coffee!!how are you today? good move on your daughters part not doing the camping thing.Still got a wee bit to do in the garden but its "pottering about time now...theres a little border at the back fence I need to sort out properly, but thats an as and when job....The front border looks pretty good..especially with the grass cut.Out the back in the fields now,we have 10 horses in the field just behind the garden ,and beyond that one the farmer has put his longhorn cattle in it See him checking them at least twice a day so I think they are coming up for calving..hope he puts them in the field behind us same as last year...have you any plans for the weekend? mulch pile perhaps?Have a great day
Morning one rain swept ppqp....and how are you today? Have a brew..Im orf for my next one.So tis down time for you today?any plans for the weekend?As for saying no..dont shout louder...just have 2 cards in your pocket one with yes on it and one with no..and when people say can you ,will you etc ...just say hmm let me consult my card ,and take out the appropriate one!....simples
blondie gd day and how are you ?Ben and Jerrys? mm.You up to anything at the weekend?
As for looking after those 2 scrotes in hospital..agree entirely..as an outsider I would quite happily choke them to death, but when you are in a professional service delivering a professional service, the goalposts change and you switch off to the whys and wherefores and get on with it..The soldier that was murdered, lived in Middleton, probably about 7 miles from here..apparently his house is under armed guard now..dont know why
Hiya yah
doesnt sound too clever that!and how are you?What are you up to? Is the house up for sale yet?best of luck with itDet....probably the most positive I have heard you for a long time...well done my friend on picking yourself up and moving on :thumbs:Enjoy the film...and the lamb!!!
Hiya Ky how you doing mate? you're pretty quiet at the mo..just busy? all ok.
Right thats it...time to get on wi me chores.....sigh!!! have a great day
Piccy start for the jokes!!!
I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week,
phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
A team of archaeologists was excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave. Written on the wall of the cave were the following symbols in order of appearance:
1. A dog 2. A donkey 3. A shovel 4. A fish 5. A Star of David
They decided that this was a unique find and the writings were at least more than three thousand years old. They chopped out the piece of stone and had it brought to the museum where archaeologists from all over the world came to study the ancient symbols.
They held a huge meeting after months of conferences to discuss what they could agree was the meaning of the markings. The President of their Society stood up and pointed at the first drawing and said, "This looks like a dog. We can judge that this was a highly intelligent race as they knew how to have animals for companionship. To prove this statement you can see that the next symbol resembles a donkey, so, they were even smart enough to have animals help them till the soil. The next drawing looks like a shovel of some sort, which means they even had tools to help them. Even further proof of their high intelligence is the fish which means that they had a famine that hit the earth whereby the food didn't grow, they would take to the sea for food. The last symbol appears to be the Star of David which means they were evidently Hebrews."
The audience applauded enthusiastically and the President smiled and said, "I'm glad to see that you are all in full agreement with our interpretations."
Suddenly, a little old Jewish man stood up in the back of the room and said, "I object to every word. The explanation of what the writings say is quite simple. First of all, everyone knows that Hebrews don't read from left to right, but from right to left. Now, look again, It now says: HOLY MACKEREL, DIG THE ASS ON THAT BITCH!"
A young boy was sat in class scratching his crotch. Teacher asked him what was wrong. The boy was embarrased explaining that he had recently been
circumcised and it was itchy. Teacher tells him to go to the office to ring his mum for advice. The boy comes back into class with his **** hanging out!
'What on earth are you doing.?' asks
the teacher. Boy replies, 'My mum said if I could stick it out till lunchtime she'd come and get me'.
An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Scot were sitting in a bar. The view was fantastic, the beer excellent, and the food exceptional.
"Y'know" said the Scot, "I still prefer the pubs back home. Why in Glasgow there's a little bar called McTavish's where the owner will buy your 5th drink after you buy 4."
...
"Well" said the Englishman, "at my local, the Red Lion, the barman there will buy your 3rd drink after you buy the first 2."
"Ahhh that's nothing" said the Irishman. "Back home in Dublin there's Ryan's bar. Now the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then when you've had enough they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid. All on the house."
The Englishman and the Scot immediately pour scorn on the Irishman's claims.
He swears every word is true.
"Well" said the Englishman, "did this actually happen to you?"
"No, not me personally," said the Irishman.
"But it did happen to my sister
Just got 15 Valentines cards! It's left me completely breathless.
That security guard at Clintons gave quite a chase!
An ugly girl approached me where I sat alone and she gave me a big smile.
'Single?' I asked.
'Yes,' she smiled. 'How did you guess?'
'Because you use this bus every fucking day. ??1.80 please,' I said, handing her the ticket.
I've just come out of the chippy with a meat and potato pie, large chips,
mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've
not eaten for two days'. I told him 'I wish I had your fucking will power'
A fat bird served me food in McDonalds at lunch time. She said 'Sorry about
the wait'. I replied 'Don't worry you slob you'll lose it eventually'
My father fought in World War I single-handedly destroyed the Germans' lines of communication. He ate their pigeon.
Paddy calls a wrong number at 3am. "Is that O'Malley's Bar?" he asks. "No it's not, this is a private residence." "Oh, I must have the wrong number. Sorry to have troubled you," says Paddy. "Ah it's no trouble," says the stranger. "I had to get up to answer the phone anyway."
A fella walks into a pet shop and says: ?Give me a wasp.? The shopkeeper replies: ?We don?t sell wasps.? He says: ?There?s one in the window.?
A fella walked into hospital and the doctor said: ?You?ve got three minutes to live.? The man said: ?Can you do something for me?? ?Yes,? he said. ?I?ll boil you an egg.?
I don't think my wife likes me very much. When I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.
A fella said to the doctor: ?What?s the good news?? ?You?ve got 24 hours to live.? He says: ?What?s the bad news?? And the doc says: ?We should have told you yesterday.?
* I rang British Telecom. I said, ?I want to report a nuisance caller.? He said: "Not you again.?
My uncle Jimmy took liver salts twice a day for 40 years. He died on Sunday, was buried Wednesday and the following Friday they had to go to the cemetery to beat his liver to death with a stick.
My wife said to me: ?If you won the lottery, would you still love me?? I said: ?Of course I would. I?d miss you, but I?d still love you.?
An Irishman's wife gave birth to twins. Her husband demanded to know who the other man was.
A brilliant young boy was applying for a job with the railways. The interviewer asked him: "Do you know how to use the equipment?" "Yes", the boy replied. "Then what would you do if you realized that 2 trains, one from this station and one from the next were going to crash because they were on the same track?" The young applicant thought and replied "I'd press the button to change the points witho...ut hesitation." "What if the button was frozen and wouldn't work?" "I'd run outside and pull the lever to change the points manually" "And if the lever was broken?" "I'd get on the phone to the next station and tell them to change the points," he replied. "And if the phone was broken and needed an electrician to fix it?" The boy thought about that one. "I'd run into town and get my uncle" "Is your uncle an electrician?" "No, but he's never seen a train crash before!"
Two women that are dog owners are arguing about who has the more clever dog. The first woman says 'My dog is so clever that every morning when the paper boy comes he picks the paper up off the floor and puts it on the table'. The second lady replies 'I know.'. How replies the first lady? The second lady says 'My dog told me'
A gypsy girl is about to get married.
Her mum says, ?Emerald, do you realise that when you are married, your husband will want to stick his prize possession in to where you pee?.
The daughter replied, ?Shut up Ma, how the hell is he going to fit his Transit van in the sink??
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.r />
The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.
Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.
Bloke goes to a doctors:
Doctor - 'You're going to have to stop masturbating'
Bloke - 'Why?'
Doctor - 'Because I'm trying to examine you'
I'm really worried about my Parrot.
He keeps saying, "I can't go on, I hate my life".
My housemate's too selfish to notice. He's always crying.
A husband and wife are having dinner at a fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open-mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away.
The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who the hell was that?"
"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."
...
"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce."
"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Infiniti or Lexus in the garage, and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."
Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm. "Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife.
"That's his mistress," says her husband.
"Ours is prettier," she replies.
I found a grey pubic hair on my di.k today but I wasn't half as freaked out as the two women in the lift with me.
I'd been seeing this Nurse for a few days and we finally got round to sex... As I stripped off I said to her, "You must have seen a few ****s where you work? How do you rate mine?"
She replied, "It's just slightly bigger than most I see."
I said, "Thanks, what sort of nursing do you do by the way?"
"I'm a Midwife" she replied.
The Ferrari F1 team fired their entire pit crew yesterday.
This announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the British government's 'Work for your Dole' scheme and employ some Liverpudlian youngsters.
The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Toxteth were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari's existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with millions of pounds worth of high tech gear.
It was thought to be an excellent, bold move by the Ferrari management team as most races are won and lost in the pits, giving Ferrari an advantage overevery other team.
Sadly
At the crew's first practice session, not only was the scouse pit crew able to change all four wheels in under 6 seconds but, within 12 seconds, they had re-sprayed, re-badged and sold the car to the Mclaren team for 8 cases of Stella, a bag of weed and some photos of Lewis Hamilton's bird in the shower.
A pervert makes a phone call and a woman answers.
The pervert, with heavy breathing, says, "I bet you have a tight arse with no hair?"
Woman replies, "Yes, he's watching the football - who shall I say is calling?"
Thats it folks cya
PPQP
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