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The Happy Postman
January 6th, 2014, 03:44 PM
Hello community.

I'm not even sure where to begin. I apologize if I'm in the wrong place asking for help.

Let me begin by introducing myself as Steve. That really is my real name and I'm happy with it so feel free to call me by it.

On we go. Am I in the right place. Maybe, maybe not. I do like to drink but am not an alcoholic. Have I confused you all yet?

I am a gambling addict so I can appreciate what everyone on this community is going through. We all have good days and the bad days are always just around the corner. Just like everyone here too.

The real crux is I have come to realize over the Christmas period that my very best friend is a very functional alcoholic. I never saw it coming at all. Everytime our paths would cross she would always act in a professional manner without showing any obvious signs of what had consumed her the previous night.To everyone who knows her even close family and friends its well hidden. But its eating away at here from the inside everyday.

I know she is already using the My Way Out system. She asked me to check it out as she thinks its the answer to her prayers. And help her find 'the secret to her little black box' Only she knows where that is but that's what she calls it.

So as to why I'm really here.

What advice can you all give me (the more the merrier) on how to support her on her mission to stop the drink winning everytime. She a very tough and determined woman but seems unable to beat this. Yet?

Sorry all for the log post but needed to start somewhere on this journey!

Samstone
January 6th, 2014, 06:11 PM
The Happy Postman;1609084 wrote: Hello community.

I'm not even sure where to begin. I apologize if I'm in the wrong place asking for help.

Let me begin by introducing myself as Steve. That really is my real name and I'm happy with it so feel free to call me by it.

On we go. Am I in the right place. Maybe, maybe not. I do like to drink but am not an alcoholic. Have I confused you all yet?

I am a gambling addict so I can appreciate what everyone on this community is going through. We all have good days and the bad days are always just around the corner. Just like everyone here too.

The real crux is I have come to realize over the Christmas period that my very best friend is a very functional alcoholic. I never saw it coming at all. Everytime our paths would cross she would always act in a professional manner without showing any obvious signs of what had consumed her the previous night.To everyone who knows her even close family and friends its well hidden. But its eating away at here from the inside everyday.

I know she is already using the My Way Out system. She asked me to check it out as she thinks its the answer to her prayers. And help her find 'the secret to her little black box' Only she knows where that is but that's what she calls it.

So as to why I'm really here.

What advice can you all give me (the more the merrier) on how to support her on her mission to stop the drink winning everytime. She a very tough and determined woman but seems unable to beat this. Yet?

Sorry all for the log post but needed to start somewhere on this journey!
So I guess my first reaction to your post is if she is already here, why does she not come forward with this, certainly an indirect approach is not needed here. I'm not sure I understand the little black box thing.

satz123
January 6th, 2014, 06:19 PM
Sam
I think Steve is trying to get advice on how to support his friend ?
What would be the point of her coming forward - she's already here.

I imagine the black box reference means the answer to beating alcohol is locked away somewhere?:confused:

Kradle123
January 6th, 2014, 07:07 PM
I Steve and Welcome! :welcome:

Good on you for trying to help your friend. :) there are several thread here in which partners spouses, friends have asked the same questions and sought the same support . There is also a friend and family section down at the bottom of the Our community page.
This is not frequented often (not certain why) so that may help. I will try to find some of those other threads and post them here as links Give some time, the kids just got home! :nutso:

Stay close

Kradle123
January 6th, 2014, 07:13 PM
Oh! Found one right away!

http://www.mywayout.org/community/f8/emotional-capacity-53076.html
An Oldie but a Goldie

:l

The Happy Postman
January 7th, 2014, 01:09 AM
Hi community

Thanks so much for the welcome. I know myself i would not be able to do this own my own. And now I know I wont have to.

Hello Sam. Thanks for the help. While I am aware that she is on the program(she has the books, cds and lots of tablets to take) and being the kind of person she is I would imagine she could be here too asking for the same advice as I have but from an alcoholics perspective. But don't know for sure. But hey if she is that's two of us the share to problem.

Thanks satz123. I get the feeling you've been helping people here for a long time and can understand where I'm coming from. I just want to help my friend, my best friend! I have only really know one alcoholic (my Auntie who whenever we saw her always had a glass of vodka in one hand and a bottle close by) and shes never beaten the drink in 30 years. I wonder if she's found this program?
As for you interpretation of the black box reference means the answer to beating alcohol is locked away somewhere? that could be right but who knows:confused:

And last but not least thanks to kradle123. You're are right. There is lots of this community I still need to view. Its not easy trying to cram everything in but failing in this is never gonna happen on my part, I'm not a quitter when someone's in need. And I've seen desperate over the Christmas period. So back to the threads we go and I'm starting with your recommendation. Emotional Capacity.


Thanks again to you all.:goodjob:

The Happy Postman
January 9th, 2014, 01:08 AM
Hi community again

A little update for you all and some more advice needed.

My friend is currently doing everything she can to fight the alcohol winning.
Exercising, taking all her tablet and keeping busy and sleeping a lot.
She is doing the 7 day sober program is was going well for the first 2 days. Day 3 went well until she went to bed and found herself waking up screaming out for help twice during the night. I think this might have something to do with her suppressing something from her early life cause she's had nightmare since 3 years old. She is now craving a drink as we both expected. I keep telling her 'she doesn't drink' and she agrees which is good. From the little I've read it seems that Day 4 could be a killer to get through. We are both prepared for a tough day as she'll be alone this evening. She says she's expecting to call for help.
So with with this in mind can you give any advice on what to expect. I'm 5 mins down the road and am willing to rush the be by her side. How can I best help her?

Thanks all for any help

meshellrn
January 15th, 2014, 03:00 PM
Hello,
My journey has been good. I am a nurse and a very funtional alcholic. I realized i drank every night and was up to 5 liters or wine in a week, sometimes more!!! Anyway, I bought the book, bought the CD's, bought the natural alcholol suppresant Kudzo then set my date. i set a date that was after all the holiday hub bub. with this great website support and my daily work, i am on day 11 and doing good. she can do it and i encourage her to seek out the help on here. No one judges and are all supportive and in much of the same boat.

Michelle

The Happy Postman
January 15th, 2014, 04:17 PM
Hi Michelle.

Happy to hear your doing so well with beating the bottle too.:goodjob:

We are only a day behind you (Day10) and hopefully we can keep the stress and anxiety to a minimum. She knows I'm supportive and she also knows I'd understand if she did have a relapse but we both want to avoid the potential disappointment. Its not easy is it? But we will get there and so will you!!

After seeing a Hypnotherapist today she is even more positive that she will get to the promised land and be AF!

Steve

little beagle
January 15th, 2014, 07:24 PM
You are a wonderful friend. Thank you for helping her.

The Happy Postman
January 16th, 2014, 12:49 PM
Hi Little Beagle.


Thanks for your kind words of encouragement

It's one day at a time. That seems to be the key to helping her get through.

We (she really) has made amazing progress. She started with a goal of trying to be AF for 7 days while she didn't really believe she could do it. We (yes we) are now on Day 11! There have been a few moments of anxiousness on the way and some road trips to keep her occupied which really are great for me as well as her. Its just a little way in which i can let her know that 'I've Got Her Back' through all this. Shes a very special person who like me loves to help others. And now its her turn to be helped on her journey.

Thanks again
Steve

Lavande
January 22nd, 2014, 10:42 PM
Steve,

It sounds like your friend is doing very well, I'm happy for her!
She is a very lucky woman to have such a caring friend. All of the support you give her is wonderful, we don't all have that.

You are indeed a great friend :)

Lav