well here it is ...the weekend has turned up....nice and sunny here tho it blowing a hooley..so glad I aint got hair to grt messed up !!so how are we all today then?all good hopefully ...thinking about holidays,....only had 1 so far this year,not like me that,but with Sam n Sandy it all kind of took a back seat..so now madam is hinting!!plus the fact going to the airport every 2 minutes doesnt help!!
time for a big brew...feeling a wee bit tired ...out mno tues wed early doors next week,,,,,
hiya Lav ..hows you today then?all good ? well heres a brew to set you on the way..the perfect princess castle?man oh man remember all that!!and my little pony...we took Amy toDisney Florida...that was her perfect castle..the first time that is...by the 2nd time it had lost a bit of its shine...see if you can get a pic of the wall ..be interested in looking ...got 2 big French lavender plants yesterday for a fiver...
NS....how ar you today?got a busy weekend planned?
hiya pauly hows you today then?was kind of intrigued ...whats a mental health day?hows the back doin after carryin those bags?gotta agree with Lav here..we need to find you an interest and hobby..whats interesting for you?
hiya pie ..how are you doing today then?all good?
hiya bear ..hows you its 8 15 am so guess you will be up now after your lie in!!!!
Hey Det my man hows the world with you?did mrs det get home?and you are out hiking and shooting this morning.....have a good one mate..
ppqp...how are you ?that boss of yours..whatisname Ronald McDonald?his people management skills are scuse...shit!!!the British open wtf!!!the board members are noticing he aint around?Id definitely be stoking that particular fire!!!and the phrase you used the building inspector is back Monday so thats one less job...my opinion ..they are taking a bleedin liberty...dont know the ins and outs of your job whether its voluntary, paid or what it in ittself is immaterial..the fact is ...the willin horse is being flogged!!!and when you come out with it might be the stress thats adding to your eye problems...then its time to re visit that...you get 2 eyes thats all ...bosses like him ..you can get em 10 a penny...not a real hard one to work out...me Id be saying job spec....re evaluation of ...and when Im doing your job or anyone elses for that matter ...stand in pay...not gettin at you but its time that muppet woke up ....rant over ..hope you have a good weekend
Sam the man hows you my friend?
right folks time for the offski.........Pauly think about interests and hobbies for us see what we can get you interested in ....
SF how are you doing today ?hows the back?
have a good one.....
My driving instructor told me to pull over somewhere safe.
Two minutes later he said, "Why haven't you pulled over yet?"
I said, "Because we're still in Manchester."
I just had one of those Tesco value pizzas.
Or a slice of bread, as it's more commonly known.
As the executioner picked up the axe, I said, "I thought I was to be hanged. Are you going to chop off my head?"
"No, your legs," he replied. "The rope is too long."
pie.......
"Nice greyhound, fast as well. Have you considered racing him?" Said this bloke in the park.
"No not really," I replied, "I'm far too unfit and out of condition."
How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but this wiring is dangerous and the whole house needs doing really.
Prince Philip reportedly asked a group of women who they "sponge off" whilst visiting a London community centre.
Most would be offended by this but it's a clever question.
He wanted to ensure they weren't receiving more benefits than him and the family.
For my 25th wedding anniversary I decided to do something special. So I took my wife to Monaco and hired a yacht in the marina. We had champagne, and as the sun set I told her to close her eyes, then placed a chain around her neck.
She said, "It feels heavy, it must have cost a fortune."
I said, "No, it came with the yacht," as I tossed the anchor overboard.
A police man hunt is underway in Sussex.
He shouldn't be too hard to find in his uniform and car with flashing lights.
paddy and mick are walking home after a night on the booze. They've got no money to get a taxi and are staggering all over the place when they find themselves outside the bus depot. paddy has a brainwave and says to mick "Get in there and steal a bus so we can drive home and I'll stay out here and look out for the police". mick duly breaks into the garage and is gone for twenty minutes while paddy is wondering what the hell he's doing. Eventually paddy sticks his head around the door and sees mick running from bus to bus and looking very worried.
"What the hell are you doing mick, get a move on!" to which mick replies "I can't find a number 7 anywhere paddy" whereupon paddy, holding his hands to his head in disbelief, shouts "You fcking idiot mick, steal a number 9 and we'll get off at the roundabout and walk the rest of the way!".
Mick and Paddy are reading headstones near a church. Mick turns to Paddy and says, "Fck, there's a bloke here who was a 152!"
Paddy asks, "What was his name?"
Mick replies, "Miles from London."
Paddy and Mick are in a two-man plane that is spiralling out of control.
Mick says, "If the plane turns upside down, d'ya think we'll fall out?"
"Of course not," Paddy replies, "we've been mates for years!"
paddy and mick are walking down a street in London .
paddy happens to look in one of the shop windows and sees a sign that catches his eye.
The sign said 'Suits £5.00 each, Shirts £2.00 each, Trousers £2.50 per pair.'
paddy says to his pal, 'mick, look! We could buy a whole lot of dose, and when we get back to Ireland , we could make a fortune.
Now when we go into the shop, you be quiet, okay? Just let me do all the talking cause if they hear your accent, they might not be nice to us. I'll speak in my best English accent. '
'Roight y'are, paddy, I'll keep me mouth shut, so I will.' Says mick.
They go in and paddy says, 'I'll take 50 suits at £5.00 each, 100 shirts at £2.00 each and 50 pairs of trousers at £2.50 each. I'll back up my truck and...'
The owner of the shop interrupts, 'You're from Ireland , aren't you?'
'Well ..... yes,' says a surprised paddy. 'How der hell d'y'know dat?
The owner says, 'This is a dry cleaners.'
Irish Virginity Test.
paddy and mick are discussing paddy's forthcoming wedding.
"I'm not sure if my future bride is a virgin or not." he said.
mick says,"Oh, there's an easy test for that. All you need is some red paint, some blue paint and a shovel. You paint one of your balls red and the other blue. On your honeymoon if she laughs and says, 'Those are the funniest balls I've ever seen!' you hit her with the shovel!"
time for a big brew...feeling a wee bit tired ...out mno tues wed early doors next week,,,,,
hiya Lav ..hows you today then?all good ? well heres a brew to set you on the way..the perfect princess castle?man oh man remember all that!!and my little pony...we took Amy toDisney Florida...that was her perfect castle..the first time that is...by the 2nd time it had lost a bit of its shine...see if you can get a pic of the wall ..be interested in looking ...got 2 big French lavender plants yesterday for a fiver...
NS....how ar you today?got a busy weekend planned?
hiya pauly hows you today then?was kind of intrigued ...whats a mental health day?hows the back doin after carryin those bags?gotta agree with Lav here..we need to find you an interest and hobby..whats interesting for you?
hiya pie ..how are you doing today then?all good?
hiya bear ..hows you its 8 15 am so guess you will be up now after your lie in!!!!
Hey Det my man hows the world with you?did mrs det get home?and you are out hiking and shooting this morning.....have a good one mate..
ppqp...how are you ?that boss of yours..whatisname Ronald McDonald?his people management skills are scuse...shit!!!the British open wtf!!!the board members are noticing he aint around?Id definitely be stoking that particular fire!!!and the phrase you used the building inspector is back Monday so thats one less job...my opinion ..they are taking a bleedin liberty...dont know the ins and outs of your job whether its voluntary, paid or what it in ittself is immaterial..the fact is ...the willin horse is being flogged!!!and when you come out with it might be the stress thats adding to your eye problems...then its time to re visit that...you get 2 eyes thats all ...bosses like him ..you can get em 10 a penny...not a real hard one to work out...me Id be saying job spec....re evaluation of ...and when Im doing your job or anyone elses for that matter ...stand in pay...not gettin at you but its time that muppet woke up ....rant over ..hope you have a good weekend
Sam the man hows you my friend?
right folks time for the offski.........Pauly think about interests and hobbies for us see what we can get you interested in ....
SF how are you doing today ?hows the back?
have a good one.....
My driving instructor told me to pull over somewhere safe.
Two minutes later he said, "Why haven't you pulled over yet?"
I said, "Because we're still in Manchester."
I just had one of those Tesco value pizzas.
Or a slice of bread, as it's more commonly known.
As the executioner picked up the axe, I said, "I thought I was to be hanged. Are you going to chop off my head?"
"No, your legs," he replied. "The rope is too long."
pie.......
"Nice greyhound, fast as well. Have you considered racing him?" Said this bloke in the park.
"No not really," I replied, "I'm far too unfit and out of condition."
How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but this wiring is dangerous and the whole house needs doing really.
Prince Philip reportedly asked a group of women who they "sponge off" whilst visiting a London community centre.
Most would be offended by this but it's a clever question.
He wanted to ensure they weren't receiving more benefits than him and the family.
For my 25th wedding anniversary I decided to do something special. So I took my wife to Monaco and hired a yacht in the marina. We had champagne, and as the sun set I told her to close her eyes, then placed a chain around her neck.
She said, "It feels heavy, it must have cost a fortune."
I said, "No, it came with the yacht," as I tossed the anchor overboard.
A police man hunt is underway in Sussex.
He shouldn't be too hard to find in his uniform and car with flashing lights.
paddy and mick are walking home after a night on the booze. They've got no money to get a taxi and are staggering all over the place when they find themselves outside the bus depot. paddy has a brainwave and says to mick "Get in there and steal a bus so we can drive home and I'll stay out here and look out for the police". mick duly breaks into the garage and is gone for twenty minutes while paddy is wondering what the hell he's doing. Eventually paddy sticks his head around the door and sees mick running from bus to bus and looking very worried.
"What the hell are you doing mick, get a move on!" to which mick replies "I can't find a number 7 anywhere paddy" whereupon paddy, holding his hands to his head in disbelief, shouts "You fcking idiot mick, steal a number 9 and we'll get off at the roundabout and walk the rest of the way!".
Mick and Paddy are reading headstones near a church. Mick turns to Paddy and says, "Fck, there's a bloke here who was a 152!"
Paddy asks, "What was his name?"
Mick replies, "Miles from London."
Paddy and Mick are in a two-man plane that is spiralling out of control.
Mick says, "If the plane turns upside down, d'ya think we'll fall out?"
"Of course not," Paddy replies, "we've been mates for years!"
paddy and mick are walking down a street in London .
paddy happens to look in one of the shop windows and sees a sign that catches his eye.
The sign said 'Suits £5.00 each, Shirts £2.00 each, Trousers £2.50 per pair.'
paddy says to his pal, 'mick, look! We could buy a whole lot of dose, and when we get back to Ireland , we could make a fortune.
Now when we go into the shop, you be quiet, okay? Just let me do all the talking cause if they hear your accent, they might not be nice to us. I'll speak in my best English accent. '
'Roight y'are, paddy, I'll keep me mouth shut, so I will.' Says mick.
They go in and paddy says, 'I'll take 50 suits at £5.00 each, 100 shirts at £2.00 each and 50 pairs of trousers at £2.50 each. I'll back up my truck and...'
The owner of the shop interrupts, 'You're from Ireland , aren't you?'
'Well ..... yes,' says a surprised paddy. 'How der hell d'y'know dat?
The owner says, 'This is a dry cleaners.'
Irish Virginity Test.
paddy and mick are discussing paddy's forthcoming wedding.
"I'm not sure if my future bride is a virgin or not." he said.
mick says,"Oh, there's an easy test for that. All you need is some red paint, some blue paint and a shovel. You paint one of your balls red and the other blue. On your honeymoon if she laughs and says, 'Those are the funniest balls I've ever seen!' you hit her with the shovel!"
hope everyone has a Super Saturday
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