aaaarrghh...just checked.....posted earlier on this morning...and it hass failed miserably!!!!!!!!tried auto save systerm restore but to no availIm sdure its this windows 8.1 crap!!has anyone used 10 or got 10 yet ?is it better than this??had a good day yesterday...head got burnt tho...doing a bit in the garden this morning....willl jump in later with some jokez in fact nah will put em on now ..so grab a brew....well done pie on the drinky poos thoughts!!
big hiya folks
What's Black, Orange and dead?
My Duracell battery
The piece of wing suspected to be part of the missing Malaysian flight MH370, which was washed up on a beach on the Island of Reunion, has now arrived in France.
It is believed that it is trying to make it's way to Calais in an attempt to cross the Channel to England.
I said to a mate at work, "My son is so fcking stupid. Yesterday he stole my next door neighbour's phone and got caught."
He said, "Did the police do a trace on it?"
I said, "No, they followed the cable to my house."
We got some free child care the other day.
We simply delayed going to the lost and found announcement.
Hickphonics
Southern slang, or "Hickphonics," as a language to be taught in all Southern schools. Here are excerpts from the Hickphonics/English dictionary:
HEIDI - noun. Greeting.
HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage: "Heidi. Hire yew."
BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck." JAWJUH - noun. A state just north of Florida. Capital is Hot-lanta. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."
MUNTS - noun. A calendar division. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."
FAR - noun. A conflagration. Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."
BAHS - noun. A supervisor. Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far you!"
TIRE - noun. A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."
RETARD - Verb. To stop working. Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."
TARRED - adverb. Exhausted. Usage: "I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred."
ARE - pronoun. Possessive case of we used as a predicate adjective.
RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege. Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."
FARN - adjective. Not local. Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country."
DID - adjective. Not alive. Usage: "He's did, Jim."
EAR - noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA). Usage: "He cain't breathe ... give 'im some ear!"
BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."
JEW HERE - Noun and verb contraction. Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"
HAZE - a contraction. Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze ignert."
SEED - verb, past tense.
GUMMIT - Noun. A bureaucratic institution. Usage: "Them gummit boys shore are ignert."
A redneck felt sick and decided to go to the doctor. The doctor examined him.
"I can't seem to find the problem, but I think it has something to do with alcohol."
"Well," said the redneck, "then I'll come back when you're sober.'
"Doctor, everytime I sneeze I have an orgasm!"
"Are you doing anything for it?"
"Snorting pepper."
With a screech of brakes, an ambulance pulls up at the local casualty ward and a hippie is wheeled out on a gurney. The doctor questions his long-haired colleagues.
''So what was he doing then?'' asks the physician. ''Acid? Cannabis?''
''Sort of,'' replies one of the hippies, nervously thumbing his caftan. ''But we ran out of gear, so I skinned up a homemade spliff.''
''And what was in that?'' asks the doctor.
''Um, I kind of raided my girlfriend's spice rack.'' says the hippie. ''There was a bit of cumin, some turmeric and a little paprika.''
''Well, that explains it,'' the doctor replies, looking at them gravely. ''He is in a Korma.''
big hiya folks
What's Black, Orange and dead?
My Duracell battery
The piece of wing suspected to be part of the missing Malaysian flight MH370, which was washed up on a beach on the Island of Reunion, has now arrived in France.
It is believed that it is trying to make it's way to Calais in an attempt to cross the Channel to England.
I said to a mate at work, "My son is so fcking stupid. Yesterday he stole my next door neighbour's phone and got caught."
He said, "Did the police do a trace on it?"
I said, "No, they followed the cable to my house."
We got some free child care the other day.
We simply delayed going to the lost and found announcement.
Hickphonics
Southern slang, or "Hickphonics," as a language to be taught in all Southern schools. Here are excerpts from the Hickphonics/English dictionary:
HEIDI - noun. Greeting.
HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage: "Heidi. Hire yew."
BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck." JAWJUH - noun. A state just north of Florida. Capital is Hot-lanta. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."
MUNTS - noun. A calendar division. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."
FAR - noun. A conflagration. Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."
BAHS - noun. A supervisor. Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far you!"
TIRE - noun. A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."
RETARD - Verb. To stop working. Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."
TARRED - adverb. Exhausted. Usage: "I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred."
ARE - pronoun. Possessive case of we used as a predicate adjective.
RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege. Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."
FARN - adjective. Not local. Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country."
DID - adjective. Not alive. Usage: "He's did, Jim."
EAR - noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA). Usage: "He cain't breathe ... give 'im some ear!"
BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."
JEW HERE - Noun and verb contraction. Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"
HAZE - a contraction. Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze ignert."
SEED - verb, past tense.
GUMMIT - Noun. A bureaucratic institution. Usage: "Them gummit boys shore are ignert."
A redneck felt sick and decided to go to the doctor. The doctor examined him.
"I can't seem to find the problem, but I think it has something to do with alcohol."
"Well," said the redneck, "then I'll come back when you're sober.'
"Doctor, everytime I sneeze I have an orgasm!"
"Are you doing anything for it?"
"Snorting pepper."
With a screech of brakes, an ambulance pulls up at the local casualty ward and a hippie is wheeled out on a gurney. The doctor questions his long-haired colleagues.
''So what was he doing then?'' asks the physician. ''Acid? Cannabis?''
''Sort of,'' replies one of the hippies, nervously thumbing his caftan. ''But we ran out of gear, so I skinned up a homemade spliff.''
''And what was in that?'' asks the doctor.
''Um, I kind of raided my girlfriend's spice rack.'' says the hippie. ''There was a bit of cumin, some turmeric and a little paprika.''
''Well, that explains it,'' the doctor replies, looking at them gravely. ''He is in a Korma.''
I could not get with it yesterday! Crabby,crampy,bitch and of course Louie had his hyper diaper on and was climbing all over his bloated NanaP,they finally left at 7 pm and I promptly took my grouchy butt upstairs, I don't like feeling yuck,hopefully today is better,too early to tell yet,hello to all let's havea nice Monday
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