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    friday 4th ...poets day

    mornin all.....well here it is,,the weekend starts now....its Julies birthday today...big plans of going out for the day ...but........

    20160304_072526.jpg

    yep ...and theres loads more coming down too.....so dont know if we will even get out today...but hey ho...she will have the undoubtable pleasure of my company all day!! was going to lay the greenhouse base tomorrow too here?????20160304_095549.jpg
    ...possibly not ..it says it is going to rain later...we shall see...so how are you all then?
    brew time it is...

    hiya ppqp...hows you then?all good I hope ...have the tinternet probs been sorted yet?has the boss probs been sorted?glad I got all that stone down yesterday!!according to the fit bit...I walked 3.98 miles yesterday taking it from the front to the back...meant to say...was in a charity shop here,and there was a pewter tankard there in the corner no fancy stuff or anything..apart from an engraved inscription..it said "Med Man 3" BATUS that was it..as you know Medicine Man is the name given to the British Army exercises on the plains...so whats the history behind that to end up in a charity shop in oldham...

    hiya Pauly..hows you today then?all good ? hey the house down the road from me is up for sale!!

    hiya pie...pics pics!!hows you then?and the k9 krew?best ov luck with the project...

    hiya Lav...hows you today?and Daniel tiger?here you go...and a brew.... just to make sure you dont feel out of it?



    as for the dentist ..do you really wanna know... x rays extractions,impressions crowns implants......next visit ..is x rays and prep teeth and make temporary crowns and fit them...one after that is to fit the crowns proper.....after that ..it is ct scan to check bone mass ...after that fit abutments for implants ...after that fit implants ..after that check it all ..and finally learn to smile like Simon Cowell...not!! what is so frustrating and annoying is when I was a kid I had lotsa orthodontic work done,and now I am getting less young (good phrase)..same stuff ...onl y when I was younger they were taking them out..now they are putting them in!!

    hiya ns hows you then?hope all is well

    hiya Kuya...where are you?have you started your travels yet? txt me when you land uk...and bring some weather!!

    hiya det ,ttq,sf and any others I have missed...


    heres a strange pic!!

    11081103_10206468974141906_7762430177870446399_n.jpg

    Riding The Train

    A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. "What a cute bunch of cows!" she remarked. "Not a bunch, herd", her friend replied. "Heard of what?" "Herd of cows." "Of course I've heard of cows." "No, a cow herd." "What do I care what a cow heard. I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"

    Emergency Room

    A man staggers into the emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, and a five iron wrapped around his neck. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. "Well, it was like this" said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows. We went to look for them, and while I was rooting around I noticed that one of the cows had something white in it's rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. Thats when I made my mistake." "What did you do?", asked the doctor. "Well, I lifted the tail, pointed, and yelled to my wife, "Hey! This looks like yours!"

    Religious Cowboy

    The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a cow walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the cow's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!" "Not really," said the cow. "Your name is written inside the cover."

    Two Cows in a field

    Two cows were out in a field eating grass. One cow turns to the other cow and says, "Moooooo!" "Hey", the other cow replies.... "I was just about to say the same thing!"



    Q: Why don't cows have any money?
    A: Because farmers milk them dry

    Q: What did mama cow say to baby cow?
    A: It's pasture bedtime.

    Q: What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow?
    A: An animal that's in a baaaaaaaad moooooood.

    A young man was wandering, lost, in a forest when he came upon a small house. Knocking on the door he was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, gray beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man." "OK," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house. Before dinner the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man as she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during the night he could bear it no longer and snuck into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear and, near dawn, he crept back to his room, exhausted but happy. He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest." "Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the line that was already getting close to taut. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."

    A person checks into a hotel for the first time in his life, and goes up to his room. Five minutes later he calls the desk and say, "You've given me a room with no exit. How do I leave?" The desk clerk says, "Sir, that's absurd. Have you looked for the door?" The person says, " Well, there's one door that leads to the bathroom. There's a second door that goes into the closet. And there's a door I haven't tried, but it has a 'do not disturb' sign on it."

    A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?" An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."

    Someone who teaches at a Middle School in Safety Harbor, Florida forwarded the following letter. The letter was sent to the principal's office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly. This story is a credit to all human kind. Read it and forward it to all those who could use a lift. It's a heartwarming story Dear Safety Harbor Middle School: God blesses you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizen's luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the Safety Harbor Assisted Home for the Aged. All of my family has passed away. It's nice to know that someone really thinks of me. God blesses you for your kindness to an old, forgotten lady. My roommate is 95 and always had her own radio, but would never let me listen to it, even when she was napping. The other day her radio fell off the night stand and broke into a lot of pieces. It was awful and she was in tears. She asked if she could listen to mine, and I said fuck you.

    Q: What is Barack Obama's new slogan in these tough times?
    A: Spare Change You Can Believe In!

    Q: What is brown and has a head and a tail but no legs?
    A: A penny.

    What's the only thing that can stop Donald Trump? A Cruz missile

    "After he won yesterday's Nevada caucus, Donald Trump said, 'I love the poorly educated.' Trump then said, 'And when I'm president there'll be more of them than ever.'"

    "The other big news is that Donald Trump won all 50 delegates in Saturday's South Carolina primary. So if you're paying attention, this is the official point when people go from saying, 'Oh, this is kinda fun!' to saying, 'Oh my God, this is really happening!'"
    Last edited by Mick; March 4, 2016, 05:05 AM.
    af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 12

    #2
    morning all
    quick look see, off to a training, thanks for the brew Mick. Pretty snow, you order that for Julie's B-Day??!! We got a tich of snow last night but nothing to really get excited about. Off to do some job training, bit of a commute today over in the valley. Off to feed before I get gone. Waves to all good friends. BTW loved the bathroom designs Det. PI, give you any good ideas???
    Sam
    Liberated 5/11/2013

    Comment


      #3
      MAE All, That snow looks beautiful, Mick. Old man winter is visiting Sam and Lav again too, while Pieland saw a record breaking 85 degrees yesterday. Too bad you can't just drop off your mouth at the dentist, let him do the work, then come back to pick up when it's all done. Happy birthday to Julie!

      Sam, who's the nosey one in your new avatar? Yep, Det's pics sure gave me pause. If I do anything that qualifies for the ooops hall of fame, I'll post a pic so y'all can cry along with me.

      Contractor coming this morning, then visiting a friend who's done a roll in shower, then lady picking up a sofa bed I'm selling, then pretty pup coming this evening to stay the weekend. Should be the nice kind of busy.

      Waves to all!

      Comment


        #4
        MAE ALL.....

        Mick...WOW! Looks like May 24th in Calgary! Guess that changes the plans for today. Happy Bday to Julie. Wouldn't it be interesting to follow the story of the pewter tankard? Like Ancestry.com only for inanimate objects. Working on job descriptions this weekend. If the boss isn't going to deal with my requests I'll handle it myself.

        Sam...enjoy your travels today.

        Pi...I like the idea of just dropping off your mouth. LOL Good luck with the contractor this morning. It does sound like you're going to have a "nice kind of busy" weekend. Enjoy.

        Off to get another cuppa and read the jokes. Shout out to everyone else.....:smile:PPQP

        Comment


          #5
          Good morning Abbers, happy Friday

          Mick, your yard looks like mine this morning, everything covered in snow! Happy birthday to Julie, hope you can get out sometime this weekend to celebrate!
          With all that new dental work you better not order steak, ha ha!!
          My son & grandsons all flew to Florida yesterday to watch the Phillies in Spring training for a few days. I think they picked a good time to go, lucky guys.

          Hi Sam! Be careful out on the roads today, looks slippery around here!

          Pie, I would be happy to take your 85 degree weather off your hands for a day or two
          Good luck with the contractor today!

          Hello to the rets of the gang. Wishing everyone a terrific AF Friday!
          I'll check in later tonight. Hope I can get to Curves in a bit.

          Lav
          AF since 03/26/09
          NF since 05/19/09
          Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

          Comment


            #6
            Mae everybody,Mick that guy in the Chinese joke was screwed in more ways than one haha,don't you looove your fitbit? The only thing that seems off is the sleep mode,if I tap it ,it measures fine but if I let it measure on its own it counts the time I'm laying in bed watching TV as sleep,I spent $140 bux at toys r us yesterday! Lou's birthday is just too fun to shop for, today I need to get him a couple of outfits and then I'll be done,Pie,we're almost up to you 83 I think yesterday I don't really pay attention to anything cuz I'm a walking zombie,allergies make me feel high not happy high, out of it high,checked the pollen forecast, tommorow is in the very high zone, grrrrrr,hope everyone has a fab Friday
            I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

            I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
            Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

            Comment


              #7
              Hey PQ, sounds like you are stepping right into boss mode
              Hope you work in some relaxation time this weekend too!

              Pauly, I know the allergens out west are totally different from the ones we have here. I had forgotten but nearly 30 years ago I took my daughter with me on a trip to go visit my brother in Idaho. We both ended up in the doctor's office there with horrendous allergy symptoms. I hope you find some relief!
              Sounds like Louie is going to have a great birthday, yay!!

              Most of the snow melted off today which was nice. The roads were clear, no problem!
              Wishing everyone a peaceful night.

              Lav
              AF since 03/26/09
              NF since 05/19/09
              Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

              Comment

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