morn all...and how is your world today then?all good I hope...its raining here and supposed to be doing so for the next week...previously the sun was cracking the flags ..and now....wind n rain ..all well cest la vie ....weekend nearly here go on ..who has got the wackiest weekend coming up???answers on a postcard...
brew time,so here we go...
hey Sam..hows you then ?you missed out on the iced dish...cuts down on the washing up too!!gives you more time to fill in paperwork....yep lawyer stuff done as good as it gets...
hiya pie...thank you for the moosik.. (Abba ..eat your heart out..its my title) was good alway liked the beachboys too..wouldnt it be nice to see them again?God only knows if that would be possible,but their music always gave me good vibrations.....hows things with your dad?also hows the pcc doin?pie canine club.....
hiya pie ..oh no.... all deed? no tommies or cukes...strange the one thing I cant grow is carrots....the ground isnt sandy enuff here...mine did pretty good ...
heres some of the different kinds I grew ..including Mr Stripey.....
20160818_091201.jpg
one of the beef toms..
20160818_150444.jpg
hiya Lav hows you today then?all good?so you liked the beachboys too?heres a brew ....and a couple of you tubes to watch..in fact anyone...tell me who didnt nod,sing or tap......dont they take you back.....?this was music ...
YouTube
YouTube
YouTube
YouTube
congrats to the graduate too...what did she graduate in?
one of my mates flies to America today ..to start a new life ex soldier,ex cop, from Nottingham he is moving to San Diego with family ..leaves today at 4pm..at least the weather will be better today..
have a great day...
hey det ....hows you then mate ..love the jockanese ..aye you chill oot!!! hope the job front takes off for you..instead of working for this law enforcement guy...Marshall Artz..
hiya ppqp hows you then ?all good see you are still doing yer two hats act!!
hiya Sk..hope all is well with you....likewise tt and Nora c......
have a great weekend...
A doctor goes into a restaurant and notices that the blonde waitress keeps scratching her hands.
"Do you have eczema?" he asks.
"If it's not on the menu," says the waitress, "we haven't got it."
"Well, Mr. Brown," says the doctor, "I have just discovered that you have one testicle made of wood and one testicle made of steel."
"But that's impossible," says Mr. Brown, "I've never had any operations and apart from that I have two perfectly healthy children." ... "How old are your children?"
"Well, Pinocchio is 6 and Terminator is 7..."
These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral...
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
And last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
Who needs a wife anyway.
I mean how difficult can it be to boil toast.
Someone's just thrown a bottle of Omega 3 tablets at me . Don't worry I only received super fish oil injuries
It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test. Exercising the brain is as important as exercising muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence.
Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer. OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.
1. What do you put in a toaster?
Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," give up now and do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.
2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk"
What do cows drink?
Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as The Beano or The Dandy. However, if you said "water", proceed to question 3.
3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks , what is a green house made from?
Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks," why the heck are you still reading these??? If you said "glass," go on to Question 4.
4. It's 40 years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany .) Anyway, during the flight, one of the engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure.
Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany . Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany , West Germany , or no man's land"?
Answer: You don't bury survivors.
If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop. If you said, "You don't bury survivors", proceed to the next question.
5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from Dublin to Galway. In Dublin, 17 people get on the bus. In Lucan, 6 people get off the bus and 9 people get on. In Rochefortbridge, 2 people get off and 4 get on. In Moate, 11 people get off and 16 people get on . In Athlone, 3 people get off and five people get on. In Ballinasloe, 6 people get off and 3 get on. No more changes until you arrive at Galway.
What was the name of the bus driver?
Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!
Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!
brew time,so here we go...
hey Sam..hows you then ?you missed out on the iced dish...cuts down on the washing up too!!gives you more time to fill in paperwork....yep lawyer stuff done as good as it gets...
hiya pie...thank you for the moosik.. (Abba ..eat your heart out..its my title) was good alway liked the beachboys too..wouldnt it be nice to see them again?God only knows if that would be possible,but their music always gave me good vibrations.....hows things with your dad?also hows the pcc doin?pie canine club.....
hiya pie ..oh no.... all deed? no tommies or cukes...strange the one thing I cant grow is carrots....the ground isnt sandy enuff here...mine did pretty good ...
heres some of the different kinds I grew ..including Mr Stripey.....
20160818_091201.jpg
one of the beef toms..
20160818_150444.jpg
hiya Lav hows you today then?all good?so you liked the beachboys too?heres a brew ....and a couple of you tubes to watch..in fact anyone...tell me who didnt nod,sing or tap......dont they take you back.....?this was music ...
YouTube
YouTube
YouTube
YouTube
congrats to the graduate too...what did she graduate in?
one of my mates flies to America today ..to start a new life ex soldier,ex cop, from Nottingham he is moving to San Diego with family ..leaves today at 4pm..at least the weather will be better today..
have a great day...
hey det ....hows you then mate ..love the jockanese ..aye you chill oot!!! hope the job front takes off for you..instead of working for this law enforcement guy...Marshall Artz..
hiya ppqp hows you then ?all good see you are still doing yer two hats act!!
hiya Sk..hope all is well with you....likewise tt and Nora c......
have a great weekend...
A doctor goes into a restaurant and notices that the blonde waitress keeps scratching her hands.
"Do you have eczema?" he asks.
"If it's not on the menu," says the waitress, "we haven't got it."
"Well, Mr. Brown," says the doctor, "I have just discovered that you have one testicle made of wood and one testicle made of steel."
"But that's impossible," says Mr. Brown, "I've never had any operations and apart from that I have two perfectly healthy children." ... "How old are your children?"
"Well, Pinocchio is 6 and Terminator is 7..."
These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral...
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
And last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
Who needs a wife anyway.
I mean how difficult can it be to boil toast.
Someone's just thrown a bottle of Omega 3 tablets at me . Don't worry I only received super fish oil injuries
It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test. Exercising the brain is as important as exercising muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence.
Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer. OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.
1. What do you put in a toaster?
Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," give up now and do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.
2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk"
What do cows drink?
Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as The Beano or The Dandy. However, if you said "water", proceed to question 3.
3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks , what is a green house made from?
Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks," why the heck are you still reading these??? If you said "glass," go on to Question 4.
4. It's 40 years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany .) Anyway, during the flight, one of the engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure.
Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany . Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany , West Germany , or no man's land"?
Answer: You don't bury survivors.
If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop. If you said, "You don't bury survivors", proceed to the next question.
5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from Dublin to Galway. In Dublin, 17 people get on the bus. In Lucan, 6 people get off the bus and 9 people get on. In Rochefortbridge, 2 people get off and 4 get on. In Moate, 11 people get off and 16 people get on . In Athlone, 3 people get off and five people get on. In Ballinasloe, 6 people get off and 3 get on. No more changes until you arrive at Galway.
What was the name of the bus driver?
Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!
Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!
I loved when my plants were thriving and if I needed a tomato I could just go grab one,loved the guy with Pinocchio and Terminater kids haha,have to make my trek to the 99 cent store cuz I've been misbehaving as we know, they probably miss me and are going broke hahaha! Much love to all of you, hope today is wonderful for us all
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