Announcement

**paula** · June 25, 2007, 05:39 AM

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Chilli, your just like me, I can't have just a couple theres something in me that just can't
stop. It's a hard lesson to learn. Forgive yourself and yes start all over again.
Best wishes Paula.x

**beatle** · June 25, 2007, 05:41 AM

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that's great that you were af for a week. so now you slipped up, ok, you know you can do af and you know you feel better, so right back to it. You probably were not that bad last night, especially as you had been af for a week-- your body feels the alcohol more, but it can cope with it better too after the rest you gave it. I'm sure the kids see you are trying and that is a positive thing. I'm also sure they see how sorry you are and how motivated you are to stop and that must give them hope. I don't know how old they are but if they are old enough to understand, maybe you could discuss it with them and enlist their help. Don't give up. It is already getting better.

**Keepon!!!!** · June 25, 2007, 05:47 AM

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Hi Chilli

Im exactely the same I convince myself ill only have a couple then that couple turns into a bloody whole week for me!!! I love my son with all my heart and tell myself I should stop for him but its harder said than done but this does not mean I love him anyless I just pick myself back up (with difficulty) and start again so dont beat yourself up because we all do it !!!!!

Luv Keepon:h

**Sue Can Do** · June 25, 2007, 06:31 AM

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Hi Chilli,

You ask why ycant you be just like everybody else and just have a couple, well not quite everybody else, that's why we are all here, the short answer is we have a prob, the good thing is we recognise it. So unlike those who haven't realised their problem yet, we here are trying to do something about it, that's the positive. Keep trying and keep trying and just keep trying.

Sue

PS: Sorry I dont post as much as I probably should, to all thank you, i have read hundreds of your posts and they have helped me understand so much. Thanx again.

**retteacher** · June 25, 2007, 06:40 AM

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Chili: I too cannot have just a couple...especially here at home when I'm alone or secretly drinking. It's one day at a time for me. I try not to think ahead about life wo/wh. wine. Mary

**luc** · June 25, 2007, 06:54 AM

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Hello Chilli, so many of us understand the problem, because we have the same weakness. Saturday evening (day 6 AF) I went out (with good intentions to be strong) and started on fruit juice, got talked (easily) into having a glass of champagne (then another), next ended up with about six (could have been more) glasses of wine with the meal and to round it off I didn't say 'no' to the schnapps served with coffee. I didn't have a hangover on Sunday (I can handle a shed load of booze - but that's nothing to be proud of), just a remorseful feeling of self disapointment - I felt I could / should have done better. I let myself (and all of you) down. Not going to say sorry - doesn't change a thing. I'll try harder next time.

luc
x

**sujul** · June 25, 2007, 08:07 AM

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Yep, another one here who can't have just a couple! Wow, Chili, looks like you got lots of company here....

I think one of the things that we all forget is that we are literally not the same person after having one drink. So, there's the person who genuinely intends to have one or two...but that person who is sincerely trying to control their drinking is gone with the first few sips of alcohol... Alcohol literally changes our brain chemisty and our ability to think, so after one drink you are now like some other person who has no intention whatsoever of not continuing to drink...

For some of us, nothing we decide BEFORE we start drinking will be honored AFTER we start drinking--once we realize this then we no longer become all mystified as to why we meant to only drink a couple but ended up trashed....in terms of alcohol, the only really valid decision I ever make is the one I make not to drink at all...any belief that I won't keep on drinking AFTER I have a drink is just a delusion....

**Keepon!!!!** · June 25, 2007, 08:16 AM

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I agree 100% sujul xxxxx

**rachel28** · June 25, 2007, 08:22 AM

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hi chilli an all, sounds like u had a shitty time, im no authority on af free i have no idea to be honest, YET i cant remember 1 day in past few yrs where i have not had alchohol in my body, so to me u r a ledgend mannaging a week, and also realising that u had to much, u r half way to beating it if u know u had to much, thats my trouble i ts never enough, i can empathise on the kids side of things, i went out for a few games of pool sat afternoon with bf , his 2 older sons, an my lad, bless him he is only 10, not old enough to play, in my head i knew the sensible right thing would b to come home with him an leave the older lads to it.......... i called mum arranged 4 my boy to stay the night , took vast amounts of ecstacy an anphetamine drunk bf an sons under the table an still carried on till 3 am, sun evening arrives an guess what id been drinking since 10 am to feel normal, my lad comes home an the look he gave me as he was questioning me on what time i got home etc, etc, i think he half expected me an bf to of had a row, so babes dont beat yourself up ,u r winning the battle, me i cracked open a tin this morning on 7th already, gonna look great at drs today ey, i know what i should do its just a matter of doing it, i have no will power, YET xx im sure your kids have seen a great improvement in ur af free days an commend u for that, no one is perfct an kids DO understand that, just keep trying an dont give yourself to much of a hard time, it dosent help, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**Guest** · June 25, 2007, 09:16 AM

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Brilliant attitude chilli !!! We all slip up, and that`s fine as long as we don`t slip back and with your current attitude you won`t.

Wouldn`t it be an ideal world if we could all simply open the wine, have 2 or 3 glasses then cork it? Well, this ain`t an ideal world.........am trying to stick to 1 btl. wine a wk. now as opposed to same amount every night, and so far so good, BUT!!! I have yet to find the conviction not to finish the btl. in one evening...........I just can`t do that yet........

I think this is a progressive journey, and we just gotta keep in mind the `baby steps concept` that some of the earlier members swear by.

Am sure we`ll all get to where we`d like to be, just as long as we keep trying every single day.

Much love,

Starlight Impress

**diamond** · June 25, 2007, 03:49 PM

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Don't beat yourself up, I don't think I will ever moderate if I am honest with myself.

Open a bottle of wine - for me the first bottle just disappears without touching the sides - so the first bottle is the el-cheapo stuff because I don't appreciate it. The second bottle is also el-cheapo stuff because by then I am intoxicated and can't appreciate a good bottle.
Therefore because both bottles (in one night I mean) are cheap I have a worse hangover than ever.
So please don't worry you can only try. I am af but I too know that that could change any day - day at a time girl xx

**chilli** · June 26, 2007, 02:38 AM

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just a happy note

Today i decided that iam not going to dwell on the bad stuff, reading that book the secert(girlfriend sent it to me) i guess it does make some sence so i am going to try to imagine myself a happy normal social drinker, stay af as long as i can and just keep seeing myself in a good way lets see.
I also wanted to thank every one so much for your support, each time i read one of your posts i just feel so lucky to have stumbled onto this site and you amazing people, and that means all who have replied or who are just looking, i have read post many a time that say how amazing everyone is and i always think thats not me, so for those of you that think she is not talking to me, this thank you is especaially for you, because no matter what you think just having the courage to tell your story to me a complete stranger, gives me hope. i dont know about anyone else but just relizing that there are people out there like me just seems to help me want to help you, which inturn helps me(does that make sence). I know we can all do this and this is were we start so lets raise our coffee cups, and here is cheers to all you wonderful people that are getting me through each day :h
we may :teeter: from good to bad but from what i have read on here good will prevale.
i hope i am helping someone even if it is only with my laps
cheers :dancin:

**Sweet Cheeks** · June 26, 2007, 06:12 AM

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My god - I've just read all of your posts and this is me all over!!

It's scary but a relief to hear people just like me who can't just have one or two glasses of wine - more like one or two bottles!! I used to be able to stop but something inside me just keeps on topping up the glass. Starlight - you've done wonders, well done. Sujul - you've hit the nail right on the head!!

I'm hoping that trying not to drink the stuff at all may just do the trick as I can't just seem to put a half full bottle in the cupboard - that bl***dy demon inside of me tells me to finish it. I hate the way I feel the next day and I don't even know why I do it - it certainly doesn't enhance my life, morelike makes me feel totally crap.

Good luck everyone - let's hope we can all take those baby steps.....
SC:h

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