Newbies in need - Day 25

[retteacher]

Hi Everyone:

I can't believe that I'm starting this thread since I'm in the USA & pretty far behind everyone. I hope the weekend went well for you all. My new mantra is one day at a time. I managed AF Sat. & Sun. even though I thought about alc. alot. I keep the DrinkTracker every day so I can see what I'm drinking. I'm planning my day so that it does not include alc. I hope you all have a wonderful day. Mary

[NYCGirl]

Newbies in need - Day 25

Good morning everyone,

Today looks like it's not going to be an easy day. I'm super stressed out already and when I get stressed, I drink, so who knows? I have to go to court today for something stupid...I ran a stop sign on a bike path and got a ticket...and in NYC biking offenses aren't considered moving violations like if you were driving a car, but are class A misdemeanors, so you have to appear before a judge to be sentenced along with the drug dealers and the prostitutes! It's the most ridiculous thing ever! I've never been to court before in my life, except for jury duty and once for a job interview, so I'm so stressed out. I have to deal with lawyers and meet with a social worker. It's so stupid. And to make matters worse, the friend I was supposed to go with (he got a ticket along with me) is MIA and ditching me, so I'm going to end up going by myself (and he's going to end up having a warrant issued for him). I'm so afraid I'll end up drinking all afternoon, especially if this doesn't go well, because I had to take the whole day off anyway and I won't know what else to do. Ugh, I hate dealing with this stuff. This is the last thing I needed this week when I'm trying to get myself together. Hope everyone else is doing okay. I'll try to check in later.

NYCGirl

[garden girl]

Newbies in need - Day 25

HI retteacher and NYG im posting this as i must have been posting at same time as you Mary, so this is what I wrote.Hi everyone, and a happy day to you all even though the weather in UK is sooo depressing. Ive just reread the thread from yesterday, sorry I was on such a downer. Feeling better today after AF last night and ready to face the world have been revising for exam on thursday all morning. We need to try and keep this thread going because I think it does everyone good to be able to focus on something and coming here to this thread will keep us all motivated and focussed on our goals. If we have a bad day someone is always here to give us encouragement and when we see other peoples success it gives us confidence to carry on. If you can only get on here in the morning then just reread the thread from previous day to see how everyone is doing.Its a long road this one we are on but {as I keep saying] as long as we keep on in the same direction we will eventually get to our destination. So I am sending you all my positive vibes, anything is possible if you want it enough.

NYG one thing I learnt through therapy is that if we start off by telling ourselves that "Im stressed so I know I always drink when im stressed" we will inevitably end up drinking. You need to try and change the way you think and replace that thought with -ok i know im stressed but it will pass and i need to do something like exercise, read a book- whatever works for you. If you can practise this thought replacement eventually you automatically will begin to think that way. It is just a suggestion and it does take a while to do it but I find it works for me.

Have a great day catch up later

[nancy]

Newbies in need - Day 25

Hi there

From yesterday's posts at the end of the day:

Welcome Arlen, I think you will find a lot of inspiration here.

and welcome back Bird. Can you tell us more about why you are depressed? Maybe it would help to share?

And today:
NYC girl: We are all finding that there must be better ways to deal with stress, ways that are not self-destructive. I like Garden Girl's advice from her therapist. Also from one I had: "There are few things alcohol will not make worse".

I re-read sections of my new book How to Quit drinking without AA (see review in What we are reading threads), which helps identify all the reasons you would be better off without alcohol. I re-read the section on changing habits and am starting my practice week this week, with some habits identified for change, just to get some practice in this. The idea is to identify benefits and harms of alcohol and make a commitment to moving away from alcohol for the long-term goal of health.

Also, I am having a shift of attitude toward all this, like a wakeup call. After reading so many books, including this one mentioned above, and some things about cancer on threads and the Internet, I am starting to take the health issues associated with alcohol very seriously. I am in my 30s so I can't be as nonchalant as I was in my 20s. I wouldn't be surprised if this became a huge motivator for me, albeit a negative one, for change.

I am planning an AF week.

[Kitty]

Newbies in need - Day 25

Hi all,

Well, the beginning of a new week, and it's very damp here in the UK. Typical as Wimbledon starts today. Our no. 1 is already out without even starting so I'm rooting for Roddick who came so close before and is quite cute!

Day 8 for me today and that is a personal best after managing 7 in a row back in May. I am officially calling myself a non smoker now too.

Hope you all have a good day, and welcome back Bird, and any newbies who join.

Kitty

[time2change]

Newbies in need - Day 25

Unfortunately, I didn't make it through the weekend af. Now I need to start over again. I did make if to 5 days af which was a good first attempt, but I know I can do better. Starting today.

[Guest]

Newbies in need - Day 25

Good afternoon all.
So, we`ve had ups and downs this past week and over the weekend, but the important thing is that we`re all still here, right ?

Just so long as we stick together and support each other, we`ll find what works, one way or another.

Personally I just feel sick and tired today of not having the motivation to get on with so many tasks that await me, as despite my progress to date, I still find myself obsessing over alcohol save for when I am asleep...........it`s just so damn draining.

Here`s hoping we all manage to be relatively good today............

Starlight Impress

[hart]

Newbies in need - Day 25

Day 1 AF for me. Drank all weekend and Joe was especially obnoxious. He can be a mean drunk. Not physically but short fused. Hated it because Evan was there. And it was like we didn't even try to be AF like we had last time Evan was here. Now Joe's sick with something, not just a hangover.

I actually don't feel too bad, physically, but I sure could be feeling a lot better. I'm sorry you are so stressed NYC, I think everything will work out okay. Your friend is going to be sorry to be arrested for something that can be handled so easily if he just showed up.

The decsions we make.........I think we spend more energy avoiding something that it would take to face things in the first place......hence the booze, I guess.

Hope everyone makes it a AF or moderate day today:h

[retteacher]

Newbies in need - Day 25

Hi Again Everyone: So far so good today. I had some cravings earlier today, but just put off going to the liquor store. I was pretty hungry when the cravings hit. So, I came home & had a few pretzels & that seemed to work out. I want to keep remembering that if I don't act on the cravings (& all the attendant thoughts that go w/them, i.e. when, where, & how to drink), the cravings will pass. I feel great now that I passed up what I know is not good for me. If I drank:
-I'd be obssessed all day about it.
-I'd feel guilty.
-I'd have to change my evening plans (an Alanon meeting).
-I'd feel physically rotten.
Nancy, I'm trying to do what you suggested in your post. Go over all the negatives of drinking & the positives of not drinking:
-I can take a nice rest & read a novel.
-I can talk on the phone.
-I can be w/my hubby wo/sneaking off every few minutes.
Good luck everyone. Love, Mary

[bird]

Newbies in need - Day 25

Hi all,
I'm so tired today.Did not sleep well after drinking last night, Then had to get up and go to work. I'm so sick of my job and have been trying to get on at my kids school as a teachers aid. Theres a test you have to take that is scheduled for Thursday. But too late as the jobs are taken already. I was crushed but will take the test anyway in case someone quits. Its hard to find a job that works with my schedule being a single mom.The one I have works, but I'm so burnt out.Think I could deal with it better if I could stay sober more than 3 or 4 days. I don't even like drinking anymore. I cant understand why I keep buying it.Bird

[Kitty]

Newbies in need - Day 25

Hi Bird,

Nice to see you back and good luck for the test on Thursday.

You do sound a bit low and I'm sorry you feel so burnt out. Sounds like you could really use a bit of "Bird" time, but I understand that may be difficult for you being a mom and all. You say you can stay sober for 3 or 4 days so maybe you can just try and do an extra day to begin with. I used to drink at least 3 times a week and quite often alot more, and it's hard to break that habit but not impossible. I'm certainly no expert but I am kind of re-training my brain very gradually. Baby steps do work.

Take good care of yourself,

Kitty

[Cinders]

Newbies in need - Day 25

Hello to all.

Today I had to travel again (very reluctantly) for the first time in 4 weeks. I literally begged my boss for some time off. I travel every week -- 10 years now -- and it is part of what has gotten me here, sitting in bars at night alone drinking wine instead of sitting in my room by myself.

I got up at 3:45 A.M. my time, packed my bags, got the dishes done from my granddaughter's 5th B'day party the day before, got out the door late, got to the airport and through security just as they were calling my name for last boarding. Into Dallas, Texas, and had to wait for 2 hours layover. Got to the client, worked until 5:00 in Phoenix, AZ which is 7:00 PM my time. Got to the hotel and had only two glasses of wine with dinner. (Which felt really good, I was hoping to go AF but after this day two glasses seemed really good.)

Just as I was typing this a very nice young man knocked on my door and dropped off a compimentary bottle of wine off. (This hotel chain's way of saying Thank You for spending most of my time - read that LIFE - in their hotel) sigh.

Am I strong enough not to drink it? I doubt it. (I certainly wasn't strong enought to say "No thank you") It is a half bottle, which means I will have drunk 4 glasses today, which is a whole bottle and not just two glasses. So much for mods!!!

Crud. (Nice word for what I am truly thinking....)

I am exhausted, tired, lonely and really really sick of travel. I wish I could figure out a way to make the money to keep the family together without it. Well, I could think of a way, but I would prefer to stay LEGAL, if you know what I mean. :H

The kid wouldn't even take a tip, he said I deserved the complementary bottle for how much time I spend with this hotel. Geez, that is extremely sick!!! I get free wine, breakfast, skin care junk, internet, you-name-it, because of how much time I spend in these joints.

However, I am up to 50 mg topa and starting to feel the effects. In the past, I would have thrown back 4 glasses by now, easily. Maybe in a couple of weeks, I can easily do mods. I am so FREAKING WEAK!!

Sorry to end the day on a bad note. You guys are all doing so well and are such a great support group!! I hope some day I can be an inspiration to some of you!!

Just felt like whining tonight. You know how it is....

Talk to you guys in the morning when I am not so dogged tired and depressed. One thing I have noticed about us alcoholics is that we can be very self-absorbed at times. In my case, this is one of those times. Sorry.

On the other hand, I am very happy to hear about how well some of you guys are doing. You give me GREAT hope and make me happy for you at the same time. :h

Cindi

[nancy]

Newbies in need - Day 25

Kitty that is so amazing that you have managed to go without cigarettes and booze. Hope you keep it up.

Time2change, 5 days is very good for a first start. you are already developing new habits and that is great. 5 days sets the stage for longer periods.

Bird, sorry you feel so down. do you have any family member who can help? maybe babysit and give you a break??

[NYCGirl]

Newbies in need - Day 25

Hi all,

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I've been doing really well the past week with diverting my attention to other things, reading, exercise, etc. But today was just one of those days. Court is over and done. It didn't go great. I now have a criminal record. Who would have thought that running a stop on a bike path in a park would be an actual crime that's more serious than running a red light on a road in a car? Seems kinda silly to me. But they let me plead to a lessor charge of "disorderly conduct", and let me off with a very steep fine and a terrible impression of the judicial system. But I'm just glad it's over so I can focus on more positive things and not worry about it anymore. Anyway, I was really stressed out today about many things. I came home in a really bad mood, and decided if I was going to break my AF this week, it was going to be tonight. I made myself a drink, drank about half, and lost interest. Seltzer just sounded so much better, which was kinda weird. I guess the kudzu must be doing something! Last week I would have at least had a second drink and probably more. So I drank, which I wasn't planning on doing, but in the end it was a positive experience and took away some of my obsession over it, because it just wasn't all that appealing once I could do it. So I feel like something has changed in the past week or so, even though I'm not quite sure what it is. And I'm proud of that. So just wanted to share that.

Hope everyone else is doing great! I wish I had time to read through the threads and respond more, but it's always so late when I get home and I'm exhausted. Talk to you all tomorrow.

NYCGirl

[Cinders]

Newbies in need - Day 25

Great Going NYCGirl!!

Awesome that something so horrible as a justice system gone ape sh#t didn't let you use it as an excuse to drink too much!!

Doing great!!

Cindi