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Caroline

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    Caroline

    My best friend died two weeks ago, by her own hand. She had been trying for ages, all sorts of attempts, this one worked. Her funeral is on Monday, it's the last bit of hassle, my husband drove four hundred miles two nights ago to the same place her funeral will be, I could have gone with him, made it easier but I was waiting to hear funeral details now is costing me loads to fly there.
    I loved her, but towards the end she was such hard work.I didn't take her final call, because I could not take any more. And now she is dead and I have to go to a funeral which I hoped so much I would never go to. I want to get very very drunk today.
    I have very good friends who want to come too, but just want to be on own.
    Am a bit lost...again.
    Pipsqueak

    #2
    Caroline

    My heartfelt sympathy!!

    Pipsqueak,

    Nothing I can say or do to make this time better.

    Go to the funeral and say good-bye.

    Remember the good times you had with her in your life together.

    Hugs and Prayers for you and her family!!
    Cindi
    AF April 9, 2016

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      #3
      Caroline

      Pip,
      Am so sorry you are in this sad situation. From a previous post, I understood you were there for her all along when she had her down times. Human beings do not have an endless reserve of emotion..........you gave her so much.........don`t feel guilty for not taking her last call...........you simply had nothing left to give.......

      Sometimes others can inflict huge demands on us and through time, begin to drag down our own emotional well-being. I think when someone really and truly choses to end their life, they will do it come what may............you taking her call would never have prevented her doing it.

      My heart goes out to you pip.

      Will pray for you, your friend and her children.

      Much love,

      Starlight Impress

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        #4
        Caroline

        (((Pipsqueek)))

        I'm am so very very sorry. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY. Many, many years ago I tried to commit suicide four times. I wasn't really serious but I wanted freedom from the pain I was in. I got hospitalized and it helped. No one could have SAID anything to stop my actions until I got out of that frame of mind. Your friend was in a very dark place and it would have taken a professional to get her out. Anything else would have resulted in what happened, she succeeded.

        My heart goes out to you but DON"T blame yourself. You did not kill her, depression did.:l :l :l

        Comment


          #5
          Caroline

          Pipsqueak.....how horrible for you. I have lost a brother to suicide but not a best friend. You will no doubt miss her dreadfully. What I will say now must not be taken the wrong way......But, like my brother, people who die by their own hand want this to happen. I actually found this made things a little easier for me when I thought of my dear,dear big brother. Please remember the good times and remember there was nothing you could do. My heart goes out to you at this terrible time. Bella xxx

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            #6
            Caroline

            hart said it well.
            anyway, it sucks and it must hurt more than anything imaginable.
            so sorry for you. don't blame yourself.
            you helped her as much as you could. try not to let it pull you down too much.
            gosh I am just so sorry for you and all you are feeling.
            Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

            Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Adress, 2005

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              #7
              Caroline

              bella said it well too. it just came in while I was writing. listen to these good people. We all feel for you.
              Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

              Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Adress, 2005

              Comment


                #8
                Caroline

                Pipsqueak ......

                My heart goes out to you, I'm a giver too and you can't always be there for everyone else .......... Look after yourself for a while love, you deserve it .......

                BB xx
                sigpicXXX

                Comment


                  #9
                  Caroline

                  Dear Pipsqueak,
                  My heart really goes out to you. My brother died aged 27, from heroin addiction. It might as well have been suicide watching him live the life he did.
                  As I am sure you've experienced, whatever you do or say has little impact in cases where people just don't want to live.
                  Please don't feel guilty you have to fly there - why would you have thought to go in advance & save money on flights. No one wants to put what you have to go through into reality.

                  Unfortunately I have no tips to get though the day - but you will, believe me. You sound like you have been a massive support & have done all you could for your friend & you should remember that in sadder times.

                  Much love & thinking of you.
                  Nattie
                  x

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Caroline

                    Pipsqeak,
                    What a hard time you are going through right now. Please know this is not your fault. Remember the happy times and keep them close to your heart.
                    Take Care of Yourself.
                    "Keep your eyes and heart focused on the end goal at all times, and never settle for less."

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Caroline

                      So sorry, Pipsqueak--my prayers to all of you.
                      "I'm a sucker for a good resurrection story." Anne Lamott

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Caroline

                        You are all so kind and positive.
                        I spent ten years trying to dissuade my friend from dying, me her friends and all her family. she leaves two lovely girls aged 6 and 11. They loved her so much, she was a great mum, but she just couldn't see it.
                        She admitted toward the end she was alcoholic, but I don't really think she was. it seemed like another thing to beat herself up with, and more people to get involved. She did drink, and drink was always involved in suicide attempts, but I think was a symptom not a cause.
                        She had all the help possible, psychologists, cognitive behavioural therapists, mental health workers... nothing touched whatever was going on in there.
                        It's hard.
                        Pipsqueak

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Caroline

                          Yes pipsqueak, such a shame your dear friend couldn`t see all the good things she was............

                          My thoughts and prayers are with you.

                          Much love,

                          Starlight Impress

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