morning all ..and how are we today then?all good hopefully...feeling a wee bit tired today..and yep you arent going to believe this..its raining here!just over 4 weeks then off to the sunshine...and the week after that is chrimbo!!yo ho ho ...and on that great note..lets have a brew..
hiya Sam...hope you are feeling better today mate...do you reckon it could be something you picked up on one of the farms?
hey det and hows you?you sound pretty cheer ..good for you ...no booze ..mind you ..you are pretty good at it..just every now and again you have a "bit"of a blowout...get them outta the way and you would be sorted!
hey bear..hows you today then?did you have your busy doing nothing day yesterday then?
hiya pauly..hows you then?all good?nope wouldnt be jumping about in that foam!as for the vid of the beach..must have watched that at least 20 times ...and laughed every time...hope you have a good day...
hiya pie ...how you today then?did the open day spark any interest ..do you get to find out?hope it did ..any assignments for this week?do you get to know or is it last minute.com?
hiya ns ..hope the travelling is going ok....
hey Lav ...hows you today then?was yesterday an R nR da y for you?here is a well earned brew....
right peeps off we trot ..big shout to everyone.....
Donald Trump says that Paris attack would have been "a much, much different situation" if the victims had been armed with guns.
You're right, Trumpy - suicide bombers are shit scared of being shot.
A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads...
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads...
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads...
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads...
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads...
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads...
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex, have money and like beer.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A: "It's nice, but can it pick up peanuts?"
Blonde: "Doc, you've gotta help me. I keep hearing voices."
Doc: "When are you hearing these voices?"
Blonde: "When I'm on the telephone."
A man went to visit his doctor. "Doc, my arm hurts bad. Can you check it out please?" the man pleads.
The doctor rolls up the man's sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk. "Hello, Doctor," says the arm. "Could you lend me twenty bucks please? I'm desperate!"
"Aha!'' says the doctor. ''I see the problem. Your arm is broke!"
Did you hear about the Alabama Lottery? You can win $20 dollars every year for the next million years.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Cargo.
Cargo who?
Car go Beep Beep!
One day while jogging, a man noticed two tennis balls lying by the side of the road. He picked the balls up, put them in his pocket and proceeded on his way.
Waiting at the cross street for the light to change, he noticed a beautiful blonde standing next to him and smiling.
"What are those big bulges in your running shorts?" she asked.
"Tennis balls," answered the man, smiling back.
"Wow," said the blonde, looking upset. "That must hurt. I once had tennis elbow and the pain was unbearable."
Yo' Mama is so fat, the tag on her dress reads, "Made in Hungary, Turkey, China, U.S.A., Algeria, Japan, and Indonesia."
Sitting by the window in her convent, Sister Anne noticed a shabbily dressed stranger leaning against a lamppost below.
Quickly she wrote, "Don't despair, Sister Anne" on a piece of paper, wrapped a $10 bill in it and dropped it out the window.
The stranger picked it up and, with a puzzled expression and a tip of his hat, went off down the street.
The next day Sister Anne was told that a man was at the door, insisting on seeing her. She went down and found the stranger waiting. Without a word, he handed her a roll of bills.
"What's this?" she asked.
"That's the $60 bucks you won. Don't Despair paid five to one!"
Yo' Mama is so ugly, she makes the mice scream and jump up on chairs.
Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate it when it rains?
A: Because the kids have to play inside.
hiya Sam...hope you are feeling better today mate...do you reckon it could be something you picked up on one of the farms?
hey det and hows you?you sound pretty cheer ..good for you ...no booze ..mind you ..you are pretty good at it..just every now and again you have a "bit"of a blowout...get them outta the way and you would be sorted!
hey bear..hows you today then?did you have your busy doing nothing day yesterday then?
hiya pauly..hows you then?all good?nope wouldnt be jumping about in that foam!as for the vid of the beach..must have watched that at least 20 times ...and laughed every time...hope you have a good day...
hiya pie ...how you today then?did the open day spark any interest ..do you get to find out?hope it did ..any assignments for this week?do you get to know or is it last minute.com?
hiya ns ..hope the travelling is going ok....
hey Lav ...hows you today then?was yesterday an R nR da y for you?here is a well earned brew....
right peeps off we trot ..big shout to everyone.....
Donald Trump says that Paris attack would have been "a much, much different situation" if the victims had been armed with guns.
You're right, Trumpy - suicide bombers are shit scared of being shot.
A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads...
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads...
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads...
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads...
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads...
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads...
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex, have money and like beer.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A: "It's nice, but can it pick up peanuts?"
Blonde: "Doc, you've gotta help me. I keep hearing voices."
Doc: "When are you hearing these voices?"
Blonde: "When I'm on the telephone."
A man went to visit his doctor. "Doc, my arm hurts bad. Can you check it out please?" the man pleads.
The doctor rolls up the man's sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk. "Hello, Doctor," says the arm. "Could you lend me twenty bucks please? I'm desperate!"
"Aha!'' says the doctor. ''I see the problem. Your arm is broke!"
Did you hear about the Alabama Lottery? You can win $20 dollars every year for the next million years.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Cargo.
Cargo who?
Car go Beep Beep!
One day while jogging, a man noticed two tennis balls lying by the side of the road. He picked the balls up, put them in his pocket and proceeded on his way.
Waiting at the cross street for the light to change, he noticed a beautiful blonde standing next to him and smiling.
"What are those big bulges in your running shorts?" she asked.
"Tennis balls," answered the man, smiling back.
"Wow," said the blonde, looking upset. "That must hurt. I once had tennis elbow and the pain was unbearable."
Yo' Mama is so fat, the tag on her dress reads, "Made in Hungary, Turkey, China, U.S.A., Algeria, Japan, and Indonesia."
Sitting by the window in her convent, Sister Anne noticed a shabbily dressed stranger leaning against a lamppost below.
Quickly she wrote, "Don't despair, Sister Anne" on a piece of paper, wrapped a $10 bill in it and dropped it out the window.
The stranger picked it up and, with a puzzled expression and a tip of his hat, went off down the street.
The next day Sister Anne was told that a man was at the door, insisting on seeing her. She went down and found the stranger waiting. Without a word, he handed her a roll of bills.
"What's this?" she asked.
"That's the $60 bucks you won. Don't Despair paid five to one!"
Yo' Mama is so ugly, she makes the mice scream and jump up on chairs.
Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate it when it rains?
A: Because the kids have to play inside.
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