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    #16
    Panic Attacks!

    Luv, I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. Remember that drinking doesn't help anything, look how much worse you felt yesterday. Jump right back on the AF path, you can do it!
    Marcie

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      #17
      Panic Attacks!

      Hi Luv, so glad to hear you are feeling better and the 'fog' is clearing. How many times do we have to do this to ourselves before it sinks into our heads... drinking does not make anything better..... drinking makes everything even worse.... I am so sorry about your Mum, it's so sad. Please try to give thanks of gratitude that you do have this time to spend with her, that you have become close, that you will not have the regret of not having this time with her. Take care of you and bask in the knowledge that we are all 'with' you.

      Lxx
      Rather die standing, than live on my knees, begging Please..... No More.......

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        #18
        Panic Attacks!

        Hi L. So glad you are feeling better today. Lots of love to you. You are strong as Betty says. Bella xx

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          #19
          Panic Attacks!

          Luv, just saw what is going on with you and I am truly sorry. I have never lost a parent so, I cannot even being to understand the profound feelings you are experiencing right now. I'm glad it was just a one night stumble and that you are back on track and looking at things with a clear and sober mind frame. I will be praying for you and your mom.
          Sometimes I wonder...."Why is that frisbee getting bigger?"...and then it hits me.

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            #20
            Panic Attacks!

            LUV

            I am so sad for you and your mom, I lost my dad a few years back and BOY did I drink my A** off, lost a whole month of time probably, I feel for you, but it does get better,just cherish her while you have her, I have my mom still, but she is in PA which is really far away, so I don't get to see her often at all.........

            You will be in my thoughts also, with love.............:l

            MA:h
            :rays:My happiness is my greatest gift to others:rays:eace:

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              #21
              Panic Attacks!

              OK my lovely LUV, here we go!

              m. xx :l
              ~Are you looking for the Holy One?
              I am in the next seat.
              My shoulder is against yours. ~Kabir

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                #22
                Panic Attacks!

                Oh my god luv,
                I have tears in my eyes as I read your words. I know your mama has been ill for a long time. I am so sorry. I can tell from your post how difficult you are finding it now after being so unbelievably strong for so long. Luv, you have to be easy on yourself at the moment. None of this is your fault and you can not do anything about it either. Any guilty feelings are not making the most of your energy at the moment.
                Luv. You are a great person. Your mama is sick, but lately you have been connecting better than you have than many times before. Try to maintain your ABS. I know its difficult, but it will make it easier.
                xxxxx
                Amelia

                Sober since 30/06/10

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                  #23
                  Panic Attacks!

                  Amelia,
                  I am better today. Back on the wagon...Hugs to you too!

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                    #24
                    Panic Attacks!

                    Luv, I can't even imagine what it must be like to have the weight of the world on your shoulders. I can't even imagine what it would be like to have an ailing parent to care for. Not to mention you are a single mom, and a career lady, suffered a loss last year as well. You have been through so much!!!

                    You have been so strong. Good you are reaching out here. There are a lot of hands to hold. Be well and continue to move forward - I know you will, but I had to say it anyway.

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                      #25
                      Panic Attacks!

                      Luv,

                      I just want you to know you are so close in heart and prayers. I do not post as much anymore, but I do read a bit. I can truly empathize with the pain of sudden loss of a loved one in the past, and dealing with your Mom battling the awful demon of cancer... God how I know.

                      PM me anytime, and know that I am here.

                      Allie
                      If you do not live the life you believe, you will believe the life you live.

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                        #26
                        Panic Attacks!

                        Allie,
                        I KNOW you know...how is your Mom?????

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                          #27
                          Panic Attacks!

                          wow luv being off the waves i didn't see this til now. feel badly i wasn't there for you. ahhh my luvbug. you just keep feeling girlie. i love you very very much. we shall move through this with a blanket, holding hands and lots of kleenex. and we will think of how life offers us all the connnections as it is short. we are brought in to life we hold on to each other and we say good bye. death completes that part but we get to hold on to each other along the way. no one takes away the essence. you know luv bug my mama died when i was 6 weeks old, my sis died a few years ago, my dad died 5 years ago and i have my hubby's father. so i'm holding your hand and we walk this beach together. sisters./......
                          :welcome:

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                            #28
                            Panic Attacks!

                            Oh...Luv, I have been where you are. Not easy, in fact it is really tough. The good news is that you are there for her now......we never know how long we have......say what you need to say and build new memories while you can.

                            I will be thinking of both of you.....warm hugs.

                            KateH
                            A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes~Cinderella

                            AF 12/6/2007

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                              #29
                              Panic Attacks!

                              Ah, Boots, that made me cry, it was both sad and beautiful.

                              We are a lucky bunch around here.

                              Lucky to have found each other.

                              m. xx
                              ~Are you looking for the Holy One?
                              I am in the next seat.
                              My shoulder is against yours. ~Kabir

                              Comment


                                #30
                                Panic Attacks!

                                ah to the moon magic. i often think you know spend so much time trying to hang on to something that can't simply hang on to and grieve the inevitability of what is. i feel in my heart you know the inevitable sadness more comes from all the moments that i want to capture into a bottle of how much love pours from my heart for those i hold so close and wish to god i could hold them even closer, smell, touch, feel. wish the moments could drag on for ever, the dreams we have shared or never came true, wish i could capture those little moments in a bottle and open it up from time to time and replay them for us so we could laugh and cry about it for eternity. i suppose this short little life just offers up so many opportunities to just share out little fragile hearts. and the rage and sadness comes from the times i let that moment escape and used instead to get caught up in busyness or deadness or stupid stuff that never mattered or being pissed off about nothing or wasting it with people that never mattered anyway. so today again luv we just grab a blanket and we hold on to those that matter and we just grab on that moment take our shoes off and dig our little toes into the sand on the beach and we walk hand in hand on this path with all of our pitiful but meaningless failures and our meaningless faults and we love each other because we can. guess reflection will do that for you. makes you know that you can just see that all of it is about our connections and our ability to smile at each other, lend a hand, know that each of us matters, each of us is trying, your mama is trying, you are trying. and for whatever simple reason, god or universe or divine insanity experiment said hey let's create this forum for us to communicate so we can share this path together.
                                so i'm digging my toes in the sand, reaching my little hand out, knowing that i can feel yours in mine, sister (s) brother bear too lol, and we see the beauty in the first breath as well as the last breath in us all. and the precious moments in between. somewhere in all of this lies the poetry. the pain gives you the capacity to love and feel
                                love bootsie
                                :welcome:

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