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Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

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    #16
    Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

    I hear you ML.........(about not hearing much good about modding). Well, we may be fooling ourselves, but as you said, time will tell. Let me know if you find other mod success stories. I'll do the same if I have time to do any searching around.

    KG

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      #17
      Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

      So what did Roberta Jewell and her friend Brenda do that was different?
      You read the book and it sounds like it was enviably easy for them to slip back into "healthy" drinking habits.

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        #18
        Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

        I thought someone posted here (and it could be wrong) that Roberta Jewell is now AF. Anyway, for me at this point I decided modding will not work. I'm actually okay with being abstinent again for now.

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          #19
          Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

          Me too. I'm on the home run for 30 days and notched a few in January too. Still undecided about the possibility of modding.

          It just concerns me if the book and the site recommend modding as an alternative when few people seem to be able to do that. Anyway, people's ideas of what modding is vary tremendously.

          Kundalini and Eve I'd be interested to know what you consider to be moderating and how much you used to drink, if you'd like to share.

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            #20
            Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

            hi there - I have tried to mod again for 2 months - I overdrink socially and this has crept back up. no matter how I try this always happens.
            I hope you can do it - I am struggling with accepting that i can't drink but the evidence of the last few years speak for themsleves for me.
            one day at a time

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              #21
              Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

              mylife;1063455 wrote: I thought someone posted here (and it could be wrong) that Roberta Jewell is now AF. Anyway, for me at this point I decided modding will not work. I'm actually okay with being abstinent again for now.
              Roberta is now AF as modding did not work in her favour.
              "It's not your job to like me, it's mine!"

              AF 10th May 2010
              NF 12th May 2010

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                #22
                Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

                Hey Oners. How did you learn that Roberta is now AF? Did she post something? Would love to hear an update.

                Anyhow, I think the chances for modding successfully are more in your favor if you are younger and have not progressed into more advanced stages of drinking. I have read some of Kundalini Girl's earlier posts (sorry, I don't know the history of other folks who are modding successfully) and I think she may be one of the folks who could achieve successful moderation because she does not have a long term history of alcohol abuse.

                In my case, I was drinking two plus bottles of wine daily when I finally stopped and that didn't even seem to be enough. I think my biochemistry is such that I was destined to be an alcoholic the day that I started drinking. I had a dangerous obsession with alcohol from the first moment that it touched my lips.

                M3
                AF Since April 20, 2008
                4 Years!!!
                :lilheart:

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                  #23
                  Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

                  ROBERTA IS AF?

                  MODDING DIDN'T WORK FOR HER?

                  I think Roberta's moderation was a modern myth anyway.
                  AF since May 6, 2010

                  Forget the past, plan for tomorrow, and live for today.

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                    #24
                    Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

                    Moderation has worked for me but I choose to be AF. I am able to do this without a struggle. When I do drink, it's a glass of wine with my mother, whom I see every month or so. I agree with M3 when she says the success rate of modding depends on how long a person has abused alcohol and the reasons behind it. My battle with alcohol lasted 3.5 years. I'm 50 years old and did not abuse it until I was in my late 40s.

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                      #25
                      Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

                      I am modding in my own way and I say that I am doing pretty good. Not perfect but when I notice myself slipping I catch myself and reaffirm my goal. Its not easy, but having to not drink every week (aim for 1 to 2 times a month or special occasions) is a great feeling. But if you feel that modding is not for you then don't do it. Modding is not for everyone.
                      I quit drinking on March 8, 2020. Taking it One Day At A Time and no more taking my quit for granted.

                      Also doing it for me. I got to stay sober for me.

                      Just consecrate on today and do what you can to remain sober for today and worry about staying sober tomorrow, tomorrow.

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                        #26
                        Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

                        Thanks for that. I didn't start abusing alcohol until my mid 40s, and could possibly moderate. I'm enjoying being AF for now, but just wanted to know how people have got on with moderating.

                        I remember reading that thread about Roberta and now that I've read the book I wonder if the person who posted it misunderstood. I seem to remember the poster said that Roberta couldn't moderate as she was unable to do 30 days AF. In the book she says she could not do Moderation Management (another alcohol reduction programme) because it required the willpower to abstain for 30 days, which she couldn't find without the medication, supplements and hypno tapes etc. But if the book is to believed she was clearly moderating successfully after working out the system. She was drinking for 20 years and yet still managed it in combination with the meds, supplements and hypnotherapy. I would just like to hear from more people for whom this is working, as it seems those who can't moderate far outweigh those who can.

                        On the other hand, reading other threads there are many people in this section who are ecstatically happy to have reduced the amount they drink and feel that the monitoring and being aware gives them control. There are those also who dislike not having a choice, but having the choice means they don't feel the need to drink every day. I can certainly see that moderation means different things to different people and you would have to work out for yourself what it would look like if you did it.

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                          #27
                          Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

                          Dancing - sorry to just now be answering your question -- have been out of town and not checking in.

                          You are absolutely right that modding is defined differently by every individual. My goal is to get away from drinking every day but be able to drink socially. I have said from the beginning that if I find I'm drinking too much on the occasions I do drink, that I will go back to being AF. So, currently, what I do is go all week without drinking, and then drink 1-2 nights on the weekends (there are rare exceptions like vacation or if some social event comes up during the week which hardly ever happens). I don't have over 4 when I drink. Drinking daily was my issue and not sleeping well as a result was making me feel physically bad. I went through a tough health issue with my husband (cancer), and that was when I really started drinking too much. For most of my drinking "career" I was able to have a couple of glasses of wine, no problem. I probably got up to about 5 drinks per night when I decided to make a change.

                          I went 2.5 months AF, which was wonderful. Throughout that time, though, not being able to drink when having a nice dinner out, or with friends was a problem for me. I have no problem not drinking when I'm alone.

                          So far, I'm happy with the way it's going. Like Rusty, though, I really like being AF. I just don't want the pressure of having to say NEVER. But as I mentioned, I would much rather be abstinent than to work back into not feeling/sleeping well.

                          Hope that helps!

                          KG

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                            #28
                            Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

                            Thanks Kundalini (hope I got that right)

                            My path is similar except that I am more likely to drink too much when alone than in a social setting, so unless I feel I can limit myself happily I will not drink alone, but I may be able to allow myself an occasional one socially some day. I needed to be AF for a long stint, as I was drinking every night and needed to break the habit. I can go out socially and it's not difficut to avoid drinking, although I would've drunk in the past.

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                              #29
                              Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

                              Dancing, just call me KG for short. We will look forward to your posting here if you decide to mod again. I totally understand being AF, though. I really like the way I feel AF and choose it most of the time. I'm just happy to have broken my daily habit. It's a real feeling of freedom. It's so interesting how people's "weak areas" vary - mine is social, yours is when you're alone. It seems from what I've read that most people here tend to have the "alone" problem - not sure exactly what the differences are indicative of -- interesting, though.

                              Take care,
                              KG

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                                #30
                                Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

                                Yeah I don't know what the difference is. I spent most of my life drinking sparsely in social situations and can still do that if I wish . I drank alone to cope with emotional problems and that is harder to stop which is why I'm not sure about moderating yet.

                                When I posted this thread it was more about wondering if MWO were being responsible in advocating this programme as a possible moderation tool, when so few have actually found it to be so.

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