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    Byrdie, That sounds grim. For years I had to do an online ethics course each fall which was all set up to "catch you" if you weren't taking it seriously. Turns out that for several years, 2 of 3 people at the top were breaching ethical guidelines that ultimately cost them their jobs... It takes a lot of work not to become cynical!!

    Cherokee, congratulations on 200 days! It is good to hear how strong you feel and how committed to staying away from AL.

    I started getting that buzzy, stressy feeling about Christmas this weekend and am working on "letting it go" (so, did I get That Song into your head :smile:???). I've got to keep reminding myself I can't orchestrate everyone else's actions and feelings, just mine.

    Ho ho ho. NS

    Comment


      Thanks No Sugar, coming up on 7 months I sometimes forget about AL. I was looking through my young living oils desk reference for oils to use for allergies and came across addiction. Here are the four symptoms:

      1. Craving: a strong need or compulsion to drink alcohol.
      2. Impaired control: The inability to limit drinking.
      3. Physical Dependence: Inability to stop drinking without experiencing withdrawal symptoms.
      4. Tolerance: The need for increasing amounts of alcohol.

      I thought to myself, "Wow, I forgot...3 out of 4 were me. I think no matter the length of time (for me) it's a good reminder of where and who I used to be. This weekend I saw a friend I haven't seen in like three months. She was like "Oh my god, you've lost a ton of weight. I thought to myself I've lost more than that. I lost my morning hangovers, befuddled brain, despair, black outs, shame, embarrassment, hiding, and the dark circles under my eyes. So yeah, I lost a ton but have gained so very much more. I have one thought now and it's gratitude.

      Comment


        Hi everyone,

        On my path towards complete sobriety for 1 year; having done like 300 days now I stop for a while and glance myself in the mirror to do a quick inventory checkup :

        - I recall making a list of benefits for not drinking all of it is coming true
        - emotionally and spirituall I feel stronger.
        - I am not living an animal's life of finding the next drink satisfying my thirst etc.
        - I have much improved family life
        - I am much better and active on work.
        - I now look forward to actually meeting friends rather then meting them so that I could drink
        - my liver tests are all normal but my lipids need control as I have been eating rather too much since I quit.
        - eating is something which I need to control. Looks like I am bit addicted to food now.
        - spiritually it feels so good not to lie all the time and hide all the time.
        - I breathe freedom everyday
        Rahul
        --------------------------------------------
        Rewiring my brain ... done ...
        Updating brain "attitude" firmware ... done ...
        Rebooting ... done ...
        Restarted program called "Life" ... started successfully ...

        Comment


          Rahul - I am so thrilled and amazed at your sobriety. I recall all the stops and starts and self-loathing you went through. Its wonderful that your family life's improving too.
          Well done!!!!
          as for the food it may be that you need to substitute some of the foods you eat with less fattening ones. Maybe you should consult a dietitian if you can. I chew a lot of gum - not attractive - but its good for when I want to chomp on something and not eat. Especially when I am concentrating.

          Comment


            Chicks who chew gum are hot! :thumbsup:

            Great stuff Rahul!

            'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

            Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

            Comment


              Rahul
              making a list is a great idea, and that is quite the inventory. Taking stock of what has occurred in a year makes it feel worthwhile. That is something I've tried to do in a microcosm, every morning acknowledging that I'm not hungover, no regrets because of drink, etc. Congratulations on your year coming up!!

              Sam

              Congrats Chero on 200!!!
              Liberated 5/11/2013

              Comment


                Love seeing people reporting in with tales of great success

                Rahul & Chero, you both have done so well & it's heart warming to watch your growth & progress. Moving forward in life is the right thing to do, never look back!
                AF since 03/26/09
                NF since 05/19/09
                Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                Comment


                  Hellos All,

                  Thanks all for the kind words.

                  Embracing sobriety as a way of life has been an experience which I would describe as "awakening". I never felt that I could be so much of an inspiration to others.

                  Yesterday night I went to a small dinner organised and an 'ol friend of mine. He was with me in university and as we went on organising various college events as well as partying hard. Mind you parting hard also means drinking hard. I recall it used to be so much fun then. Maybe it was drinks or the stage of life I was in.

                  And we grew and left college for several years before marriage we used to hang around everyday and drink every night. As our wives came and they didn't went along well and I too got involved with work and travels we just make "friends" meeting occasionally. I guess our drinking style became different. I used to drink whenever and even alone for him he perhaps needed someone to drink. He knew I left drinks about an year ago. And he too this time was about a month sober ! Pleasent surprise and all his current friends ( many over weight and looking pathetic with a drink and red eyes) looked at me as they knew that their friend stopped drinking seeing me ..! Then came compliments about how I am keeping fit. Some maybe even wondered how I did it ..

                  Now that's the last thing I expected when I was planning on going there. I thought it will be bunch of people drinking and drinking and more drinking hogging on food till they throw up !
                  --------
                  Being sober life also opens up to several new ways of thinking. I had a though childhood. Problems at home, finance issues, my huge issue being introvert. I recall as a school buy eating lunch alone not because I was disliked by others but i guess not interesting by anyone so I thought. All this and lot more had a huge dent on my self esteem. By the time I was in college I realised this and thought I need to do something about it. I did lots of things and read a lot to improve my state of mind. From a depressed, loanly person I suddenly had friends. I did meditations regularly , although I was never religious but doing that brought things a lot in prospective and gave me a natural high. Then the drinking progress and that's when life seemed to move at jet speed. I had a drug to control myself now. To balance my state of mind.

                  --------
                  While it worked initially but then boom 10 years on drinking became a curse. So I brought the same gear of self improvement and read a lot joined MWO and so far it's working. Because then when you are in this gear of self introspection and improvement it went much beyond drinking. I had so many things to fix, tweak . So many relations to build, bonds to heal. So far it's been a great and challenging. Learning again to live and face life without a power drugs has been the most important challenge for me.
                  Rahul
                  --------------------------------------------
                  Rewiring my brain ... done ...
                  Updating brain "attitude" firmware ... done ...
                  Rebooting ... done ...
                  Restarted program called "Life" ... started successfully ...

                  Comment


                    Rahul~ What a great post. Thanks for sharing
                    AF 08~05~2014


                    There is a 100% chance I can't do this by myself! ~ Me

                    Comment


                      What a beautiful post, Rahul. This epic journey is sort of like trying to describe sight to a blind person. You just wouldn't believe it unless you have experienced it. When I was a newbie, I heard the words of the long timers, hut I thought they were full of beans. I thought they were a bunch of people with whom I had nothing in common....like if I were to be in a room with olympic athletes or ham radio operators. What they were saying seemed like a bunch of tree-hugging hooey! My friend, Kuya, used to say that we (as alkies) stop growing emotionally when we develop a dependence on AL. It makes sense, we rely on AL to do all the work for us. When we stop drinking, there is a lot of catching up to do...and it does happen! It is scary and exciting getting to know who we really are. I have yet to see one of us who didnt learn to love him/her self again. Self respect is a glorious side effect of removing AL.
                      You did a beautiful job of describing the transformation.

                      It makes me sad for the folks who never beat this thing....the ones who chronically relapse....I was one of them, I never gave myself a chance to experience the growth you describe. I wish there were a way to show everyone a year in the future without AL. They just wouldnt believe how much better EVERYTHING is. They certainly would rethink that idea of trying to moderate if they knew the PEACE in our heads that acceptance provides. I wish folks would let AL go and live a life NO longer dictated by AL. It is an amazing place to he and Im so thankful to be here.

                      Thanks for your post! Byrdie
                      All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
                      Tool Box
                      Newbie's Nest

                      Comment


                        Byrdlady,

                        When I analyse myself today and seeming myself I am the kind of person who likes to entertain myself. All the time with activities or something. I recall 10 years back or so I used to play computer games. Watch a movie everyday day, eat good food (with an idea of enjoying the taste not health mind you), play sports, read books, meditate, travel and work which too I enjoyed. At the peak of my drinking I was doing just one or two things. Drinking and watching movies on my iPad .

                        Now I see all those things coming back. I got a new techi laptop with good GPU which I can carry along and can play latest of games (I am an FPS buff) , reading, and plan on starting sports.

                        But then I also do wonder the fact that I need something to do or entertain or to put in terms provide dopamine to my brain by doing something .... Is that what led to my drinking or addictive habit ? I still hog on food today is it the same addictive brain ?

                        I then also see people who are able to moderate my wife for example who is not addicited to any of the stuff : AL, movies, games, books, food, sugar etc.

                        Bottom line was I always nuts ?? And more importantly and I still a Nut ?
                        Rahul
                        --------------------------------------------
                        Rewiring my brain ... done ...
                        Updating brain "attitude" firmware ... done ...
                        Rebooting ... done ...
                        Restarted program called "Life" ... started successfully ...

                        Comment


                          We're all just different, Rahul. I don't think any of us are nuts. Whether its genes, environment, or, most likely, both, some people have a brain chemistry more prone to addiction than others. Maybe some good features tend to go along with that general brain chemistry - at least there sure seem to be a lot of cool people around here :smile:!

                          Comment


                            Originally posted by NoSugar View Post
                            Maybe some good features tend to go along with that general brain chemistry - at least there sure seem to be a lot of cool people around here :smile:!
                            Knowing you no sugar I surely believe about cool people around here.
                            Rahul
                            --------------------------------------------
                            Rewiring my brain ... done ...
                            Updating brain "attitude" firmware ... done ...
                            Rebooting ... done ...
                            Restarted program called "Life" ... started successfully ...

                            Comment


                              If you are nuts, Rahul, then you are in good company! Maybe it's brain chemistry and maybe it's a personality trait....but whatever it is, it makes us the complex people we are! I have met some of the finest and most generous people in my life on this site! Well, I haven't ever met them in person, but online. I am trying to embrace my quirks. Nothing I do now compares to the addiction I have to AL, so I think I'm doing pretty well! I think you are, too! t
                              All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
                              Tool Box
                              Newbie's Nest

                              Comment


                                Merry Christmas Friends. We are taking off in our sleigh shortly, taking gifts and food to share with family.
                                My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

                                Comment

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