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    I am screwed

    On Thursday night my old boss and I decided to have dinner. We were great friends and haven't seen each other for 12 years. He is newly married and very happy.

    So, we met for dinner and over 3-1/2 hours with lots of food, 1 martini, 1 pinot with the main course and a cognac following the dinner. I remember feeling a relaxed and happy but not bad, got into my car, had a cigarette and have no memory of what followed until I woke up in jail.

    I still don't have the police report, but apparently I hit a car. I do not understand the blackout at all, honestly I do not. I never go to bars or drink and drive. I had been fighting a cold and took some dayquil during the day, but is it that lethal?

    Of course I couldn't show up for my babysit and bail cannot be posted until 24 hours has passed. My daughter drove me home silently. I cannot even explain how devastated I feel (close to suicidal), the humiliation of a TX jail is a scar on the soul.

    My friend emailed me the next day thanking me for a wonderful evening and he said I had left my wallet at the restaurant and he and his wife dropped it by and we promised to all meet up later at their home for a pasta dinner. I needed some info from him re - is that all I drank and he said yes you only had 3 drinks in 3-1/2 hours. He is now refusing my calls and my emails.

    My husband took this opportunity to ask for a separation, even though I knew when he visited me at Thanksgiving he had something else going on.

    I take full responsibility for all of my actions, but I am so confused as to my blackout.
    Enlightened by MWO

    #2
    I am screwed

    SK,

    I can only imagine the awful feelings you must be dealing with right now. Just know that there is a lot of love and support from all of us here. I am glad you are at least home safe and sound and out of jail. Maybe your tolerance level is just a lot lower than it used to be. I am so sorry this happened, and I truly believe that all bad experiences can be used to better ourselves and bring about positive change.

    I will be thinking of you and call me if you need to talk.

    P4T
    If you do not live the life you believe, you will believe the life you live.

    Comment


      #3
      I am screwed

      Oh, Hilary...I am so very sorry this happened to you. You are such a devoted mother and grandmother and I understand how heartbroken you are. I also respect you for taking responsibility even thought this makes no sense....(the blackout).

      I have never taken Dayquil....but, a couple of weeks ago I took Nyquil...and it was horrible....worse than being drunk! And...I did not have any alcohol at all with it! I would not be a bit surprised if the dayquil, had something major to do with this.

      Anyway....I am thinking of you, sending you warm thoughts and I know that this too shall pass. Please know that you do have an army behind you that truly understand this type of situation.

      X0 Kate
      A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes~Cinderella

      AF 12/6/2007

      Comment


        #4
        I am screwed

        Oh, damn.

        Very sorry to hear of these troubles.

        You have folks out here who understand the confusion and the seriousness of what you face.

        Know that you can work through it all and survive and come out the other end in good shape and better than you were. Hard to fathom at the moment, I'm sure.

        Deep breaths. Forward from here. You have it in you to move on and move past. I'm not saying it doesn't suck mega along the way ... but there is an "other" end to all this. And, you will get there.

        Much support to you from someone who's been there, too.

        Comment


          #5
          I am screwed

          Hi SK,

          What a horrendous experience for you. I'm glad nobody got injured.

          I just wanted to respond to your confusion about the blackout. I know "only" three drinks doesn't sound like much over the course of a meal, but that combined with not feeling well, the cigarette (I always felt more zonked when I smoked when I drank) and maybe the medication meant a cocktail of noxious substances were whirling around in your system.

          I know different countries have different drink-drive limits, but here those three mixed drinks would have put you quite far over the limit. I'm not being censorious (I've driven over the limit many times, sad to say) but I think it's important to "blame" the alcohol, rather than the medication. Otherwise, at some time in the future, you might think it's OK to drink and drive because you haven't had any medication, you're feeling fine, you're eating, it's spread over three hours... when if fact it's like playing Russian roulette.

          I hope you're able to move on from this soon. We all make mistakes, but hopefully can learn from them and make progress.
          sigpic
          AF since December 22nd 2008
          Real change is difficult, and slow, and messy - Oliver Burkeman

          Comment


            #6
            I am screwed

            SK,

            I am immensely sorry this happened to you.

            xoxo

            Comment


              #7
              I am screwed

              What a horrible experience! Thanks for sharing it though, it may help someone else. I have one question: why isn't your old friend speaking to you?
              _______________
              NF since June 1, 2008
              AF since September 28, 2008
              DrunkFree since June 1, 2008
              _____________
              :wings: In memory of MDbiker aka Bear.
              5/4/2010 In loving memory of MaryAnne. I pray you've found peace my friend.
              _______________
              The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.ray:

              Comment


                #8
                I am screwed

                Thanks everyone for your support. It truly means a lot.

                I think my friend may think he is "partly responsible", or something. I had asked him why he didn't drive me home, and he thought I was okay. I asked him to recommend a lawyer and that's when the communication ended. He has been a good friend for 18 years, but with a new wife he is protecting his interests. He also sold a company for multi millions and is nervous.
                Enlightened by MWO

                Comment


                  #9
                  I am screwed

                  I am SO sorry this happened to you. I've gotten two DUI's, and it's a really awful experience. I'm sure they thought it was really funny to not let me use the bathroom, or make my phone call, and it's just dehumanizing. (All my own fault, of course.) Thank goodness you didn't injure yourself or anyone else.

                  Perhaps your friend is afraid he'll be implicated, and he'll loosen up when he realizes you aren't blaming him.
                  Kelly

                  Comment


                    #10
                    I am screwed

                    SK
                    That is just awful.
                    I know that if my resistance is low (due to head cold, tired etc) one glass of wine can affect me a lot more than usual. I am truly sorry you went through this-
                    -Sheep

                    Comment


                      #11
                      I am screwed

                      Sk-

                      I am so sorry!! I can only imagine how horrible you're feeling. I suppose we should be thankful you only ended up in jail, and not in a morgue. You haven't been drinking very much latley, so your tolerence is probably pretty low these days.

                      Shame on your friend for not seeing you home. Also, shame on your husband for kicking you when you're down. Big hugs, Hilary. We love you.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        I am screwed

                        Oh Hilary, you have my deepest sympathy for what you are going through. Sorry to say that your experience will serve as an example of why the occasional drinker should not become complacent with limits. I hope for the best outcome for you. xo Beth
                        vegan zombies want your grains

                        Comment


                          #13
                          I am screwed

                          Thank you all for your wonderful support. More2, yes my tolerance must be low because I don't drink much at all anymore.

                          Iam not falling apart, but am pretty low with husband's using this an excuse for something he was going to do anyway.

                          Love you all, and special strength for anyone who is struggling with relationships, the beast, finances, etc. We all need a special hug, so I'm sending all of you special ones.:l:l:l:l
                          Enlightened by MWO

                          Comment


                            #14
                            I am screwed

                            What a fright, skendall! Keep your chin up. Not knowing is awful, isn't it. Don't let your imagination get the better of you. One foot in front of the other....

                            hug all around.
                            sigpic
                            Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

                            Comment


                              #15
                              I am screwed

                              i am so sorry that happened. It is SO scary when your body reacts in a way you don't understand. Certain drinks/medications can react in really strange ways. A good friend recently had a couple drinks early in the evening, then took half an Ambien five or six hours later. She didn't even remember , but her kids told her the next day she got up at 2 a.m. and was staggering around and slurring. Hugs to you :l:l:l
                              :boxer: Get the hell out of my house, Al, you worthless bastard!!

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