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    November Mod Squad

    Helloooo modders! Hope everyone had a great Halloween. Today is All Saints Day, and time to turn the page, start anew, and get going on whatever mission you may choose.

    The hurricane has come and gone, and the Northeast is working round the clock to get back to normal. I mentioned previously that I was shocked at how the hurricane really triggered cravings, and I've been thinking about why. It probably started when I was in college in New Orleans. Of course as college kids, we didn't need any excuses to drink, but there were quite a few times when we'd get bad storms (like 5+ inches of rain in a couple of hours, or more) or even threats of a hurricane, and what would we do? Hunker down with a big stash of booze and have a storm party! As many of us realize, when we started drinking excessively at a young age your maturity level doesn't continue to grow. We're stuck at that age maturity wise, so, painful as it is to admit, I've been acting like a college kid for roughly 30 years. Maybe I've grown in a hurry with the combination of 100+ days AF (and staying sober since July 7) and the birth of my twins. Or maybe there's a connection between being fed up and tired of drinking excessively daily and acting like a 20 year old kid. I don't know exactly what the answer is here, but I wasn't happy with the fact that getting shut in for a couple of days made me think about drinking my way through the storm.

    Fortunately I didn't do so. Yeah, I had quite a few beers, but they were root beers!:H I did at one point find myself considering the bottle of champagne that's been in the fridge since a friend gave it to us when the twins were born, but stopped myself by thinking how ridiculous it would be to pop a bottle of champagne (which I'm not a big fan of) and drink it myself. What would my wife think when she found it? What would my friend think when I told him I drank it alone, simply to get drunk during the storm? But more importantly, what would my reaction time be if the storm got so bad that I needed to evacuate my wife and the twins? My biggest worry was the possibility of the windows blowing in, and we'd have to get out in a hurry. Not something you want to consider doing drunk. So the bottle of Perrier Joiet (sp?) remains in the fridge. Maybe Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Years will see it opened and shared with my wife and family.

    Time for work. I'm honored to start the thread this month, and hope the Mod Squad follows.

    D
    Well the 1st are the hardest days don't you worry anymore.
    When life looks like easy street there is danger at your door.

    #2
    November Mod Squad

    Hi, D:

    Inspired by your story. It's funny how during stressful times I turn to alcohol. But, like you mentioned, it would not help and possibly would make the situation worse.

    So, from now on when I'm stressed, I'll write down my thoughts instead of drinking. Writing all those thoughts will help clear my head and maybe will even help me come up with solutions.

    To a happy successful month of modding or AF, everyone.
    Alcoholic (or Ally)

    "Only a fool knows everything.
    A wise man knows how little he knows."

    Please feel free to block/ignore my posts through your control panel.

    Comment


      #3
      November Mod Squad

      Very inspiring D. I agree with Ally. Kind of amazing how most of us become a lot more introspective, isn't it? Even the men!

      Thanks for starting us off, D. Hard to believe it's already November. Seems like it was just summer!

      I plan to have another AF day. Hope everyone is well.


      "I like people too much or not at all."
      Sylvia Plath

      Comment


        #4
        November Mod Squad

        Hi all,
        Had a great holiday in Mexico and did manage to lay off the cocktails even though my mate and our wives didn't. Did the leap of courage, jumping off a cliff into the sea but went horribly wrong and broke my Clavicle.
        If this had happened in the past, I would get a bottle of whiskey and drown my sorrows but no more, I'm putting up with the pain as I don't want to go back their.
        Now hols has finished I'm going down in units to eventually a couple of beers, wish me luck.
        p.s. funny typing with one hand, apologies.
        It's not what you drink, it's how much!

        Comment


          #5
          November Mod Squad

          DfromCT;1403506 wrote: As many of us realize, when we started drinking excessively at a young age your maturity level doesn't continue to grow. We're stuck at that age maturity wise, so, painful as it is to admit, I've been acting like a college kid for roughly 30 years. Maybe I've grown in a hurry with the combination of 100+ days AF (and staying sober since July 7) and the birth of my twins. Or maybe there's a connection between being fed up and tired of drinking excessively daily and acting like a 20 year old kid. I don't know exactly what the answer is here, but I wasn't happy with the fact that getting shut in for a couple of days made me think about drinking my way through the storm.

          ... But more importantly, what would my reaction time be if the storm got so bad that I needed to evacuate my wife and the twins? My biggest worry was the possibility of the windows blowing in, and we'd have to get out in a hurry. Not something you want to consider doing drunk.
          Very astute observation D and I totally agree with it. I have also seen people who have a major trauma at a certain age tend to get stuck at the age emotionally as well. Had an old boyfriend whose mother died of lupus when he was 14. Was the sweetest guy but he was so immature. I remember always thinking he acted like such a 14 year old!! Interesting isn't it? Another thing I liked about your introspective post was the fact that you were able to pinpoint a major trigger. Why the storm brought on feelings of drinking and with anayzing those feelings you remembered the big drinking storm parties. Triggers are such a good thing for people to be aware of. I was talking to a young man the other day trying to quit smoking and we determined the biggest trigger for him with drinking beer with the boys. It had never occurred to him that that was such an easy area to fail in and want to smoke when he drank beer with them until we talked about it. He planned to not hang with them for awhile until he could get past the worst cravings.

          I too started to worry about drinking with the safety of my sons. They are teens and one is prone to getting injured as he skates, skateboards, longboards, dances like a manman with flips and twists and turns, etc. My thinking too started to go that way of what if...what if he broke his arm and I had to drive to ER and had been drinking at home? The law in my state is zero tolerance so technically if they want to, cops can give you a DUI because you were driving under the influence of one drink!! I could just envision a frantic mom driving her teen to the ER with two drinks in her and getting a DUI. Ugly thought!! Never happened due to the what if game but sure makes it easy for me not get into that nightly habit of drinking at home.

          Lasha: Wow, the on vaca group drank and you didn't. That kind of control is always impressive. But broken clavicle-big ouch!! Just keep fighting that urge to manage the pain with booze...watch for that one!!

          Hi to LG another early bird. And yes, to Ally - I agree that journaling is majorly helpful. Too bad Lasha will have trouble with that one now that she's the one armed bandit
          Actually, journaling online to help others is not a bad thought so feel free to go to the 30 day AF thread and share any thoughts that may help the next person to stand strong and not drink today.

          Happy NOvember all, NO to alcohol if abstaining, and NO to the next glass that would be one too many.

          :l
          Eve11
          "Control your destiny or somebody else will"

          ~Jack Welsh~:h

          God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Author unknown, :thumbs:

          Comment


            #6
            November Mod Squad

            Lasha, going on vacation and not drinking when the rest of the group is drinking is quite a feat! I'm not sure I could do that. I know just being around booze in a all-inclusive resort would be a major test even if my wife wasn't drinking. To do it (regardless of whether or not the booze was there and included) when the rest of the group is drinking must have been a real test.

            I've recently been watching my friends drink in various social settings, and it's kind of interesting how easy it is for them to tie on a good one! It's also interesting to note how quickly the first few go down, then when the buzz comes they keep going. I'm only noting this b/c they are giving me a good view of what I did.

            Happy November all. I'll raise a glass (of Arnold Palmer!) to staying sober throughout, and AF through the Thanksgiving holiday.

            D
            Well the 1st are the hardest days don't you worry anymore.
            When life looks like easy street there is danger at your door.

            Comment


              #7
              November Mod Squad

              Good morning all!

              Lasha, welcome back to the normal world, glad you had some good things about your trip but I am so sorry you broke your clavicle. Hope it heals soon and that the pain has gone away.

              D, speaking of anxiety-producing events and remembered triggers...I realize you are one busy fellow, in between work and twins, but I think you might enjoy the work of Lance Dodes, MD, both his first book, "the Heart of Addiction," as well as his second, "Breaking the Heart of Addiction." He also has a website, for a quick overview. The director of Harvards addiction program, he's NOT in the traditional mold for current treatment...if you DO check his work out, let me know what you think!
              and, Eve, what a great signature sort of line, no if AF is your goal, and no to the next glass if that would be one too many! happy November to us all.... FFP
              . "It is only with the heart that one can see clearly; that which is essential, is invisible to the eye.". Antoine de Saint-Exupery

              Comment


                #8
                November Mod Squad

                :goodjob:Wow, FFP, I took a quick look at Dr. Dodes website, and know that I'm probably going to by the book (hope it comes on the kindle!) and do further exploration. THANK YOU for the heads up, a 5 minute gander at his website tells me his approach (particularly the idea that we are NOT powerless) is much more in line with what I've felt and believed.

                Anyone else that wants to check out the sight should do so. His bio begins (and this is copywrited so I want all to know I'm cutting and pasting from his website) "Lance Dodes, M.D. is a Training and Supervising Analyst with the Boston Psychoanalytic Society and Institute and assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. He has been the Director of the substance abuse treatment unit of Harvard?s McLean Hospital, Director of the Alcoholism Treatment Unit at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital (now part of Massachusetts General Hospital) and Director of the Boston Center for Problem Gambling"

                Here's a link to his website: Lance M. Dodes, M.D. - Welcome

                If you can't tell, you've gotten me really intrigued, FFP! I'll let you know more when I have time to read more!

                D
                Well the 1st are the hardest days don't you worry anymore.
                When life looks like easy street there is danger at your door.

                Comment


                  #9
                  November Mod Squad

                  Hey Guy's really busy at work and trying to leave to get home to Winnie

                  D- Thanks for the thread............

                  I'll be back later
                  And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back so shake him off ~ Florence and the Machine

                  Comment


                    #10
                    November Mod Squad

                    D, I rushed right out and bought the first book, at Books a Million, I think, but had to order the second one. Glad it has intrigued you...it was recommended on this site by ProPartyChief, also by Nancy.

                    and, V, is the puppy now named Winnie? Have fun with her... FFP
                    . "It is only with the heart that one can see clearly; that which is essential, is invisible to the eye.". Antoine de Saint-Exupery

                    Comment


                      #11
                      November Mod Squad

                      Dodes: Heart of Addiction

                      That book is incredibly insightful for anyone self-medicating with alcohol, whether they be an occasional binge drinker or worse. It seems there is a psychological solution but as those who have gone through therapy for conditions like depression or anxiety know, it takes time.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        November Mod Squad

                        I actually ordered three copies! One for me, and one for two friends, each of whom are in AA and are very, very into the "I am powerless agianst alcohol" approach. Got all three on Amazon, and paid very little, buying them used, but in "very good" condition!

                        V--I can't wait to hear more about Winnie. She looks like she's got a whole lot of solid brown/liver in her coloring, a unique look for a shorthair. The first one we had we inherited/rescued from a family that showed him. He was well trained, but very high strung and HATED being left alone. The second one was much more of a hunter, and used to bring home birds, sometimes not yet dead! He used to chase the neighbors swans, but would give up when they retreated to the water. I wondered what would happen when the pond froze. LOL, he came home with a chunk out of his snout, and never chased those damned big birds again! :H
                        Well the 1st are the hardest days don't you worry anymore.
                        When life looks like easy street there is danger at your door.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          November Mod Squad

                          Welcome back lasha, what a dud breaking your clavicle though, yikes! where are you at now with your drinking? It sounds like your holiday has lifted your spirits though (no pun intended :H ) and you're still focused and ready to keep going.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            November Mod Squad

                            Hi DG,
                            I'm at an all time low of 1 btle of wine and 1 btle of cider. Feeling very positive and taking up your advise of dropping the wine for 4 btls of cider/beer.

                            It's not that difficult when you have encouragement and to be fair I was not pressurised (much) on vac to join in.

                            What a thought sober for xmas now that would be something else.

                            My drinking psychologist is so happy she doesn't drink and I am now just realising why.
                            It's not what you drink, it's how much!

                            Comment


                              #15
                              November Mod Squad

                              Hi Lasha, and everyone! happy Friday...TGIF, for those of us With a M ..Fri work schedule...for many years, that meant tacos and movie night, in our family! Today it's a tennis exhibition, with dinner out, probably seafood...yum yum...
                              anyway, the point of this post is to say that a kind person here wrote a long message about a booze free Christmas which was reposted last year and it was SUCH an inspiration to me that I only drank at home two times over the entire holiday season, when we had guests ... A totally new take on Christmas for me!!! My at home audience was flabbergasted! If I can find it again, this may be the impetus to figuring out how to at least repost links. If not, perhaps some other kind soul will repost it. FFP
                              . "It is only with the heart that one can see clearly; that which is essential, is invisible to the eye.". Antoine de Saint-Exupery

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