WHY WE LOVE CHILDREN!
1) NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a
woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark
naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the
back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'
2) OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from
his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not
necessarily those of his parents.'
3) KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her
struggle the phone rang so she asked her
4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to
talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.'
4) MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker
room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing
towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then
asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'
5) POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was
interrupted by a little girl about
6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop?
Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report. My mother said if I ever
needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I
told her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would
you please tie my shoe?'
6) POLICE # 2 It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front
of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was
barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got
back there?' he asked. 'It sure is,' I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at
me and then towards the back of the va n. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'
7) ELDERLY While working for an organization that delivers lunches to
elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon
rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by t he various appliances of old age,
particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring
at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the
inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth
fairy will never believe this!'
8) DRESS-UP A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When
she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear
that suit.' 'And why not, darling?' 'You know that it always gives you a
headache the next morning.'
10) SCHOOL A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm
just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write,
and they won't let me talk!'
11) BIBLE A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he
fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible.
He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that
had been pressed in between the pages. 'Mama, look what I found,' the boy
called out. 'What have you got there, dear?' With astonishment in the young
boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!'
1) NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a
woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark
naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the
back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'
2) OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from
his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not
necessarily those of his parents.'
3) KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her
struggle the phone rang so she asked her
4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to
talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.'
4) MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker
room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing
towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then
asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'
5) POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was
interrupted by a little girl about
6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop?
Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report. My mother said if I ever
needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I
told her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would
you please tie my shoe?'
6) POLICE # 2 It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front
of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was
barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got
back there?' he asked. 'It sure is,' I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at
me and then towards the back of the va n. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'
7) ELDERLY While working for an organization that delivers lunches to
elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon
rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by t he various appliances of old age,
particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring
at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the
inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth
fairy will never believe this!'
8) DRESS-UP A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When
she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear
that suit.' 'And why not, darling?' 'You know that it always gives you a
headache the next morning.'
10) SCHOOL A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm
just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write,
and they won't let me talk!'
11) BIBLE A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he
fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible.
He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that
had been pressed in between the pages. 'Mama, look what I found,' the boy
called out. 'What have you got there, dear?' With astonishment in the young
boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!'
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