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    THE DRINKING DREAM.

    I have read on here a few times that people have had dreams about drinking.. I thought that I was one of the lucky ones and had escaped all that, oh no..

    Last night I had a horrible dream.. The dream started with me drinking just one glass of wine, and what a joy that seemed to be.. The wine, a Chardonnay, tasted delicious, the glass had a light misting of condensation on it and when I finished it I felt quite proud of myself for being able to stop after just the one glass..

    The dream continued and it was now a few days later.. I was sitting in the armchair where I did most of my drinking, another glass of wine in my hand, but this time was completely different, because at the side of the chair was an empty bottle.. Instead of feeling proud, this time I felt drunk, disappointed and disgusted with myself, and I also felt more scared then I ever have in a long time, you know the type of scared that makes your stomach tie itself up in knots..

    I remember I started crying in the dream because I thought I had put myself back in the dark place I had fought so hard to leave behind.. I cried so hard that I woke myself up, and for at least 30 seconds I lay there in bed thinking that it was all true.. My God, the relief when I realised it was nothing more than a dream..

    Now I have been thinking about this most of the day, and the only thing I can come up with is this, in my concious mind I know that I will never drink again, for me one drink is one too many, but, I wonder if in my subconcious mind the thought is lying there dormant that one day I will be able to have the occasional glass of wine without any consequences, and by some miracle my self preservation button was pushed so that the dream followed on to show me what would happen if I ever did believe that I could have just that one drink..

    I am sure that this dream is going to be one of those that you can remember years after, and for me it is one more weapon in the fight that we are all engaged in on a daily basis.. To be forewarned is to be armed..

    Love to you all,
    Louise xxx
    A F F L..
    Alcohol Free For Life

    #2
    THE DRINKING DREAM.

    Hi Irish,

    First....CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well done, well done!

    I will still have a drinking dream, on occassion, and the best part is waking up to realize it's JUST A DREAM! That's such a great feeling!

    I think it was your soul congratulating you on your sobriety!

    magic xx
    ~Are you looking for the Holy One?
    I am in the next seat.
    My shoulder is against yours. ~Kabir

    Comment


      #3
      THE DRINKING DREAM.

      Louise, I absolutely agree with you.........I mean, who among us wouldn`t like to think that "one day" we would be able to drink in moderation?

      For me, it`s simple.........I just know I can`t.
      I just have to look back to how I began to drink like a fish again after having been 10 yrs. sober. I really do believe that the "dormant" in us can do anything, including throw away 10 yrs. of sobriety.

      I know the truth about myself now........have faced and accepted my personal truth.
      When sober, I`m simply a "dormant alcoholic"........one drink is all it would take to awaken that alcoholic.........I will never allow myself to be so stupid as to have that one drink........am now happy, sober as I am.

      Starlight Impress x

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        #4
        THE DRINKING DREAM.

        Wow what a dream Louise!
        I wonder if you had this dream because you have been thinking about your sobriety a lot because you just had your 1 year Anniversary! Congratulations again by the way!
        I don't think you could ever forget that dream.

        Comment


          #5
          THE DRINKING DREAM.

          Irish, for me the dream is always about apologising to my family ..........

          I still moderate and enjoy the occasional glass with them, but in my dreams I get really drunk and actually live the anxiety .....
          sigpicXXX

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            #6
            THE DRINKING DREAM.

            I had one too last night, Louise! But mine was ok...have had a few dreams that used to freak me out but ok now.... What freaked me more last night was that I was with my ex hubby. I realised I was drinking a glass of wine (he had poured himself a much bigger one and mine was tiny and I wondered how he knew...I haven't said anything...) What alerted me to the fact that it was wine was that I didn't like the taste......!!! (???) But then the ex hubby took my hand and said it (my hand) had become very beautifuol since we parted...??? (9 years ago!) Now that is scary!!

            So, something in the stars perhaps?!?

            But, seriously, I feel for you... I so remember my first d. dream and it was horribel.... stayed with me for days. But I think it's just part of our brain filing stuff away and almost trying things out... you felt things 'in practice' at night where it doesn't matter; it didn't really happen... and it's just reinforced your resolve so is good....

            Don't worry - I don't think you're going to do it or have secret desires... glad you posted!

            Love FMF xx
            :heart: c: :heart:
            "Be patient and gentle with yourself - the magic is in you."

            Comment


              #7
              THE DRINKING DREAM.

              Irishlady, I'm glad you posted this and are using your dream to heighten your awareness. I wasn't going to share these but.....

              Dream of 2 nights ago: I was in an old barn and there was a falcon that frightened me. It's beak was scary and it swooped at me. I was then in a well lit alley lined with bars. I stopped at one of them. The door was wide open, but it was empty of people, the lights were up, and the floor mopped clean. I wondered where everyone was . Then a voice said, "They've all gone home, they're sensible, they had enough." I felt out of sync and self conscious. Then I was back in the barn with the falcon. This is kind of embarrassing, but the falcon seemed quite tame and well, amiable. The falcon and I had a brief conversation though I can't remember it. I googled dream interpretation the next day and a falcon can represent realization of goals or aspirations. (I hope, I hope)

              Last night: I dreamt that I woke up feeling rough (you know the feeling). And thought, "Oh no, what did I do?" I went to check the wine bottle, and sure enough it was nearly drained. 5 glasses in one night is too much I thought. UGH. In my dream I logged on here and posted about my slip. The reply (which was really my own I guess) was Don't beat yourself up, but don't forget this. You now have the answer to your question. You cannot moderate.
              That is a big fear, but thanks to the people on this board, I am growing closer to accepting the possibility.

              Comment


                #8
                THE DRINKING DREAM.

                I have the occasional drinking dream too where I wake up in a sweat, heart pounding, actually feel like I am hung over and then realize it was only a dream. They are so real and scary. When I do have them it really reminds me of where I came from.

                No matter how much time we have being sober it will forever remain 'One Day at a Time'.

                Thanks for sharing Louise!

                Comment


                  #9
                  THE DRINKING DREAM.

                  Isn't the brain an amazing place.. Its like this whole uncharted universe, and the things it throws up at us when we are asleep are pretty awesome.. Will we ever understand it???
                  A F F L..
                  Alcohol Free For Life

                  Comment


                    #10
                    THE DRINKING DREAM.

                    Irishlady:

                    I'm the one for those heinous drinking dreams. Had yet another one myself just about a week ago, and I was back in the bar lighting up the Marlboro reds, and killing the cold pints. I was smiling and laughing, and once again, right in the dream, I realized I had "fuckity" up big time. Felt like worse than doggy poo on a hot summer day when I woke up, and then the relief that it was just a dream.

                    Those dreams I am beginning to believe, are deep, very deep psychological elements working their way to the surface any way they can. I believe they are a sign of deeper healing, because they only seem to come when we are ready to take new steps on the long road.

                    It may have been your one year anniversary that brought it home for you, that your conscious sober self is in the drivers seat now, and the old "drinking Louise" is trying sub-conscious tricks.

                    The new "sober Louise" is going to be the winner, and I have faith in your resolve.

                    All I can say is, welcome to the next level. You will prevail, and succeed. It is all too evident.

                    Neil

                    Comment


                      #11
                      THE DRINKING DREAM.

                      Fantastic how we all learn and share about everything we experience on this journey. I haven't had the drinking dream yet, but am now armed and ready. I can see how it would be scary during the dream but it must be such a relief when you wake up and realize it was a nightmare...

                      Don

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                        #12
                        THE DRINKING DREAM.

                        Oh I have those dreams - and when I give up smoking I have smoking dreams. It's kinda cool - I get drunk with no hangover!

                        Cash
                        x
                        "Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans" - John Lennon

                        Comment


                          #13
                          THE DRINKING DREAM.

                          Gosh I've never had those dreams, but am struck by how vivid and powerful they seem to be. I am also struck that some of you now KNOW without a shadow of a doubt whether or not you can drink moderately or whether you can never drink again. How did you learn this about yourselves? I'd love to know that conclusively for myself. All thoughts welcome.

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                            #14
                            THE DRINKING DREAM.

                            Hi cookinghappy,

                            I learnt the hard way that I would never drink again, simply by experience..

                            For over ten years I had been trying to moderate my drinking, I tried it all, just two glasses of wine each evening, never worked.. Then I tried just one bottle of wine on a Saturday night, that didn't work either.. About two years ago I managed to go for four weeks AF, thinking to myself that I had it under control at long last. I stupidly bought a bottle of wine to celebrate, with the intention of going for another three or four weeks AF, within a few days I was back on my usual two bottles a night..

                            I guess what I'm trying to say is that it doesn't just happen, it takes a lot of trial and error before one finally accepts the fact that just one drink can be one drink too many, thank God, I realised that fact a year ago and stopped fooling myself that I had control over my drinking..

                            And lets face it, if we are thinking of alcohol as something we have control over or not, then it stands to reason that we do have a drinking problem.. " Normal drinkers " don't have to exert any control over their drinking, being able to stop after just one glass if they want to without having to agonise over it or even feel guilty if they do happen to drink too much..

                            Hope that helped,

                            Love, Louise xxx
                            A F F L..
                            Alcohol Free For Life

                            Comment


                              #15
                              THE DRINKING DREAM.

                              Cookinghappy,

                              I agree with Irish. My husband is a "normal" drinker. i.e., he hardly ever drinks. I can count on one hand how many times he has been drunk since I have known him.

                              If I don't buy alcohol, it doesn't get bought. He would never think to go by the store and get any, it just doesn't occur to him.

                              For me, it is always on my thoughts, especially as the day goes on. Hmm, what time do I get off so I can go get a glass of wine and relax? How many should I have? What is too many?

                              Then, of course, once I have one, then two, then even worrying about how many goes away and I will just keep drinking until it is gone, I am out of money, or passed out.

                              No way for me to moderate at all. I have tried sooo many times.

                              Cindi
                              AF April 9, 2016

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