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    #16
    totally F***ked!

    okay today is the new day.... no booze today GIRL.... NO BOOZE. SO CALL THE DR. GET WHAT YOU NEED AND YOU HAVE TO DRY UP... NOT FOR YOU... FOR YOUR SON.... call or p.m. i'm consulting all day.. honestly you have to do this. you may die if you don't. you can not continue to drink this way and live.... i love you and this you know i know this is true of me and that's why i'm AF. my body when they did my blood tests cowgal was aging no shit 3 times faster.... can you believe that. crazy.... so listen up..... party is over...
    :welcome:

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      #17
      totally F***ked!

      cowgal;229123 wrote: I feel like I am losing it, will be ok tomorrow, but I am pretty much stuck in this horrible marriage, so many people told me I could get out and be ok and happy, but why not just settle for unhappy and keep all the stuff I have, maybe will keep friends and just stay away from this house which is sooooooooooo depressing, my counselor is going to fire me, I am doing everything he has advised me not to do...........

      I am going to change my life and he can just stay the way he is, we have grown apart soooooooooo much over the past 10 years, we don't even know what to talk about anymore...........I know I need to get my SH*T together or I won't be any use to the kids or myself at all

      Love Mary Anne:h :h :l
      hi Mary
      just a couple of comments

      why are you stuck in this marriage? I know it's not easy to just end a marriage or long term relationship. It's good to think about these things in a simple manner, like, what keeps me here ?

      are you in anyway able to separate yourself from him and be on your own so you can clear your mind and spirit?

      you need to change yourself first and not worry about him or try to change him.
      that takes a lot of courage, coming here and talking to us takes courage too.
      work on your health and let him go for now until you feel more centered.
      you have the ability to bring yourself happiness and peace
      You can't turn a pickle into a cucumber

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        #18
        totally F***ked!

        Cowgal, I saw this and immediately thought of you .........



        Whatever you decide we will be here for you hon :h :h :h Attached files [img]/converted_files/374989=2556-attachment.jpg[/img]
        sigpicXXX

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          #19
          totally F***ked!

          I want to applaud a few here who aren't the types to pipe in and enable. Sometimes the truth just plain hurts. . . . putting one completely sober foot in front of the other is the only way things will start to fall into place. Truly that's the only way that the mess will start to disipate.

          There will be no end to our pity parties until we're sober.
          Admitting you're an a-hole is the first step

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            #20
            totally F***ked!

            Hi Mary Anne!

            There is nothing really more I can say that hasn't already been said here M. And I do echo everyones sentiments. The big question is what are YOU going to do with that advice?!. You really need to act upon your decisions and follow them through. Like Star said "Time waits for no person." (I know its ...'man' but I'm being more pc than our lovely Glaswegian friend!)

            Love and Happiness
            Hippie
            xx
            "Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children." Kahlil Gibran
            Clean and sober 25th January 2009

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              #21
              totally F***ked!

              Cowgal,

              Claim your own power back, do not let your situation depress you. Remember you have a choice in how to react in any given situation, no one makes you do anything! As you change your reactions to situations and people, outcomes often are different. This is what I think that CaptJ is talking about. If you have always reacted one way to a situation and then you change how you react to it, people will notice. They can either chose to support you or choose not to support you. In turn you can choose to move head without their support or upset yourself that you don't have something you don't need (their support). It all comes down to choice and I choose to support you.

              -Lorelei
              Suddenly I see
              This is what I want to be
              suddenly I see
              Why the hell it means so much to me.

              -KT Tunstall

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                #22
                totally F***ked!

                I also am in an unhappy marriage and I have made a promise to myself that I will change this next year. But I also know that I need that time to become sober so I can make the desicions that are going to be so important to myself and my sons. Please treat yourself well and remember that big decisions should be made when you are AF and clear headed. Best wishes to you.

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                  #23
                  totally F***ked!

                  Accountable for Me;229179 wrote: Picking up those drinks only suppress the reality you are actually living in and will continue to depress you.
                  This is exactly what I've been coming to terms with with my own drinking. Once it's in my system, it's impossible to think or feel anything clearly. The alcohol takes over. And I lose me. It doesn't work. It never works. It makes anything positive impossible. Intellectually I know this. Could write a book.
                  But this monkey doesn't run on intellect.......
                  Geez.

                  Mary Anne - I hope you can take strength from everyone here. Alone, it's too much. For any of us. Start stringing those AF days together with me, and let's see how things look a little further down the road. You can do it. ODAT.
                  Big hugs :l -
                  wonder xx

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                    #24
                    totally F***ked!

                    SO-- if I can sum things up here--

                    1) You get sober first
                    2) You deal with your marriage problems
                    3) You do not fear being single/alone-- it might be what's best
                    Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

                    Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Adress, 2005

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                      #25
                      totally F***ked!

                      cowgal are you going to come back since you asked for all the love and support? are you going to come back to the the thread you started?
                      :welcome:

                      Comment


                        #26
                        totally F***ked!

                        forgot

                        Hey all, thanks for all the advice, as I said earlier, I had such a SHITTY day yesterday emotionally, work-wise and just plain mentally..................... I am MUCH clearer today, owe alot of you apologies for not getting back and thanking you for all the much needed concern and comments..............today is a better day..........Barbie, I owe you the BIGGEST apology!!!! thanks for all the support, hope you are ok with all the fires around you.

                        I love and care for you all, guys and gals, I am probably moving out soon, but that means I will lose the pc, .I will, like I said before, lose a hell of alot! I really hope it is worth it, last night was really depressing, and I am AF today for sure...............

                        love you all!!! :h :h

                        MA................HUGS!!!!!!!!:l
                        :rays:My happiness is my greatest gift to others:rays:eace:

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                          #27
                          totally F***ked!

                          hey girlie. you know i love you. and you know i fell off my barbie chair laughing way hard when you wroteto me: I DON'T WANT YOU AS A FRIEND ANYMORE. ahahahahahahahah sorry too bad.. you are so way stuck with me..... SO you have my phone numbers yes? and well, hummmmmm what to do.... you let me know if you want me to help you get a new computer. god knows a collection can be taken. i love you like the moon and the stars. and you can never lose a barbie friend. ever........ you dork.... what were you possibly thinking? ahahahahahahahahahahaha you are so way never getting rid of me. i know i know i am way tough on you but i am also your biggest fan.... i'm the president in fact of your fan club.... so yes, AF THURSDAY lady.. go get that script for DR...... love you lady. barbie
                          :welcome:

                          Comment


                            #28
                            totally F***ked!

                            yeah

                            I know I am a dork.................didn't mean it as that, meant it as that I love you like crazy and appreciate all the support you have given me so far w/ everything..................really wish you could come here and see our beautiful sunrises, fall beauty. my favorite time of the year really. I LOVE YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Much you have no clue, keep pm'ing me and emailing me at hotmail...........at work is fine also, but I can only get those when I am there, I always love hearing your love and support, DORK or not......................sorry I am such a DORK!!

                            I do love you, wish I could hug you for all the support and love you have given me along the way!!!!!!!!:thanks:

                            Much love , your dorky friend Mary Anne
                            :rays:My happiness is my greatest gift to others:rays:eace:

                            Comment


                              #29
                              totally F***ked!

                              Mary Anne.......

                              It would be wise to take your phone number out of that post.

                              magic xx
                              ~Are you looking for the Holy One?
                              I am in the next seat.
                              My shoulder is against yours. ~Kabir

                              Comment


                                #30
                                totally F***ked!

                                yeahhh. girlie get your number off the internet. god knows what crazy person will snatch it. yikes and thanks i'll keep sending you emails....... :0 love your bff dork buddy. barbie....
                                :welcome:

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