Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

[wonderworld]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

what great analogies Det. Really feels like what's happening here for me and my brain.

"To have a take it or leave it attitude towards Alcohol. To treat it as we would Butter, a little bit adds a tasty treat to a meal, once in a while! " Kate - this is really something. Shows me just where I stand. I can't imagine having this kind of relationship to AL. Just can't. Guess it's that circuit ? Mine might be super crispy fried. Maybe if I were AF for like 100 years. Or got a brain transplant.

Having said all that (!)....... a cold beer was my fav . LVT good on you. How fantastic to SEE a choice at all, much less act on it in such a positive way. I agree that shows very cool new thinking on your part. I hope you really enjoy this day and feel your oats! You deserve it! and I for one think you have PLENTY to contribute and I'm glad you're here. Keep it coming !!!

ready2 I really like your spunk. And your attitude. Yes - just keep at it. You will absolutely get where you want to go. Everyone on this thread was standing in your shoes not too long ago. We're behind you all the way!

see you a little later-

WW xox

[LVT25]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

It's starting to feel just a little weird around here. I talked to one of our friends today. He was talking about how good he felt since he was sober so many days. Another friend (long time drinking buddy of hubby's) told him he hadn't drank for over 2 months.
Anyway, friend 1 and I had a really good conversation about it on the phone. Not in a million years would I have thought I would have that conversation with him or any of my friends for that matter. He is going to outpatient treatment, so I am anxious to hear more about what they tell him. It is a 12 step program with some intense counseling sounds like. I'm glad he called, maybe I can help support him. I still think alcohol is over-rated!! :H

[Determinator]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

amen to that LVT! an over-rated and defective product. Thats why they need a multi-billion dollar ad campaign, and litter the countryside with billboards. ick!

[Beck]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Well look what happens when I go away for a bit...lively thread...glad to see it.

I had a wonderful AF vacation. Cannot remember the last time I did that. Began every day in a kayak on the lake - alone time!!!

Loved reading all these posts - helped me get to know you all better.

As for me, I was a binge drinker from age 13 to 24 then life took me in another direction. I was really a modder for at least 12 years (and yes, I did have 4 kids during this time). I would occasionally drink (usually to drunkeness) a few times a year. The rest of the time I never gave AL a thought. Then increased social drinking led to daily drinking and often alone drinking and well that's never good. I very quickly fell into the abyss. If I had known how close I was to the edge all those years I would surely have been more careful. I don't believe I can ever go back to modding. Every time I think I "should" try modding, I reconsider. Things aren't perfect now but they are better.

Glad to see you here LVT - I too felt I didn't really fit in at MWO. Was about to leave when I started posting here.

Beck

[livingfree]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Congrats BECK on the AF Vacation!! I have fantastic memories of my trip to Florida last March - my first AF vacation since I was a child!! :H You will build on this now and it will become a great memory. :goodjob: to you!

LVT - congrats to you also - taking the offer on a cold beer would just lead to a cig - and you've worked soooo hard! I am proud of you.

Wow everyone - I have loved this discussion on modding. LVT you gave all of us a perfect setting to have this discussion. We have all been wanting to explore these thoughts more. Great advice here.

A friend came by tonight and it shed some light modding. She brought a bottle of wine, and as I watched her drink it while I drank my tea - it dawned on me WHY I will never drink again. I didn't feel we were having an "authentic" conversation. I felt that everything she brought up was above surface with no depth. We've known each other for a long time and have spent years together - talking, sharing etc. etc. Tonight I realized we really didn't KNOW each other. I talked to Kate this weekend on the phone - and I feel she knows me better than this friend. It is because our years of friendship were lost in alcohol. We were never drunk - just never authentic. I've realized how important it is to me to be completely authentic. I think my only truly authentic friends are right here on this thread.

Thanks everyone - I love you all

[Beck]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Oh Liv, what a timely post for me. One of my best friends is visiting Saturday and staying the night. These are my toughest times - where I think it would be great to share a drink or two and a conversation. She doesn't know I've quit drinking and I'm not sure how I'm going to handle this. For some reason I am reluctant to bring up my AL issue with her. I don't know why.

I could sure use a week without a challenge!!!

[gyco]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

way to go WW,keep the threads comin,like your comments also gyco

[LVT25]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Hi all--

Thanks for your welcomes and support.

Liv--you bring up an interesting point. Visiting with a friend is pretty much the same as socializing to me. I wonder when and where someone decided it was easier and more fun to have a conversation with a drink in one hand, and a ciggie in the other?? Back in the 40's I guess--before that? Now it's practically unheard of to NOT drink in society. I know I for one am more comfortable going out with a drink or two under my belt.

I know I am still too vulnerable for the social situations that revolve around AL. I'm ok at home, with company. So far, it's been easy to avoid, but we have a wedding with hubby's family--that are big drinkers (and his sister and her hubby smoke like chimneys). I am trying really hard to look forward to the event, I think if I go in with the right attitude I'll be ok.

Well, enough rambling......better get busy!

Love ya! :h

[livingfree]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Beck - this is a tough area if you aren't prepared. If you aren't ready to tell her WHY you aren't drinking -- you still need to tell her you are NOT DRINKING during this visit. I promise you if you DON'T you will drink! (Because you are hiding the fact that you aren't!! ) Tell her you are taking a headache medicine or something if you must - but tell her something or you will be at risk.

It would be interesting if you brought up the fact that you are not drinking because you want your health to come first from now on. This is what I told a friend of mine the first week I stopped when we got together and just recently she said ... "How did you stop drinking? I want to stop". We never REALLY know when someone KNOWS they have crossed the line and want OUT. You may be surprised.

Best to you -- We are here for you to support and encourage you even if you have to log on when she goes to bed!! When is the event?

LVT - you are right on -- things really have changed as far as alcohol being the center of every social event in our society. Sports .... who would have thought you could go to watch a sporting event and get plastered 50 years ago!! Thats why I don't go (just kidding - I never really went before!!)

We'll have to watch for Det to report in ..... He is out in Calif. causing earthaquakes. Thats our Det.

later all

[wonderworld]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

love love love that post Liv. awesome insights and suggestions.
Good to see you Beck! Look forward to hanging out with you here........

I have an experience I want to share:

I was working outside most of the day today. It was a dry sunny day and I felt very motivated to continue some gardening/landscaping/outdoor cleaning projects I have going (also to procrastinate from what I was REALLY supposed to be doing ). I was stationed for several hours in front of the house weeding, cutting back shrubs, trimming small tree branches, cleaning the vinyl siding (which had spots of green mossy scunge developing here and there). So I'm going apeshit like Edward Scissorhands. I can't believe how much everything has grown and I'm excited to see my house emerging from the growth.

Then I'm feeling pumped and decide to move to the side of the house I have totally ignored for a GOOD long while (like 2 years !?!?) You see, I live on a small, curved, one-way street. And because of the way the house is angled, and because I 'm always distracted and in a hurry, and because I have just "not wanted to know" in recent years, well, after I pull out of my driveway (on the left side of the house as you face it) and get moving, I just don't see what's happening on the far end. ever. And that wall has 3 of my kitchen windows in it and one of the reasons I wanted to go there today is because vines were "starting" to grow over one of the kitchen windows.

SO, when I move to that side I see .... a FOREST of weeds, a monster out of control shrub, and MASSIVE quantities of vines crawling up into the siding and ALMOST COMPLETELY COVERING the kitchen window. I was possessed and started furiously chopping and pulling vines down and ..... within a short time it was a whole new situation, trust me !!! The pretty light green of the house was shining through (after a good clorox scrub), the sun was getting through to the whole area. It looked so....... refreshed !

SO, I go back in the house to see the difference from the kitchen side. I could NOT believe the difference. That window had been almost completely blacked out from the vines !!!! Happened gradually day by day and I never noticed. And now there was bright white sunshine flooding in. The room looked completely different. Felt completely different.

I could not help feeling that this is really an AF story. A fine fine metaphor, if you ask me .


Love you guys!

WW xox

[LVT25]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Wow, Wonder--are you on Drugs!!!????:H:H:H I have this mental picture of Susan Dey with scissors on her hands sculpting wild bushes into beautiful sculptures!!:H

All kidding aside--I'll be it's a great feeling to be able to see what you have accomplished!
You have inspired me. I have lots of big plans, just don't get them done. I did, however make a compost bin this morning.

Gotta go--do something!!

:h

[A Work in Progress]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

hey all, I just now looked at this thread, and it really blows me away. Haven't read it all the way through, but plan to do so, right away.

I am AF only 8 days today, so I can't claim eligibility for the 30+ Club, but I hope to be a regular here anyhow, because you are all talking about the same struggles that I am (and will be) having. For me, it's not about intense cravings, or big internal debates about do I drink tonight or not... but about the long haul. I've done AF before, for up to 3 years, without a lot of need to grit my teeth and tough it out... for me it is a more subtle kind of danger, a matter of vigilance, and remembering... and being reminded... of why I need to STAY OFF that damn stuff.

thanks, all.

wip

[CS04]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Hi LVT and WW,
(Disclaimer -- as you know I am not 31 days and beyond, but was looking for buddies.)

My stepson and I did a bit of yard work on Sunday. Normally we have been huge gardeners -- heirloom tomatoes, I do canning, raspberry preserves, extensive herb garden..Well this year we have done NOTHING. Not even a fucking basil plant. Being outside the past several months has not even been enjoyable for me; back porch still is not cleaned up. But, we started pulling the god forsaken morning glories (= weeds) out of the front bushes. It was a minor accomplishment, so that feels good. Baby steps, I guess!

LVT, we also used to be avid composters -- have blown that off for about a year, too. Let me know how that goes for you.

Good to see you are both doing well, and glad sunshine is upon you both.

[wonderworld]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

LVT25;371626 wrote: Wow, Wonder--are you on Drugs!!!????:H:

Yes!! Kudzu!! :H I don't know about beautiful sculptures, but when my neighbor got home from work he came over and said "wow. when you trim, you REALLY trim! :H

WIP - Soooo relate to you again. Sounds like MWO might be a perfect fit for you too. Good!

CS!! : - good to see you friend though I know you're feeling poorly :l. Baby steps is right. Glad you're "back". As I said above - everyone on this thread was standing in your shoes not too long ago. Just plant your flag and get those 30 days! I know you can do it . Check in here anytime - we've got your back!

WW xox

[KateH1]

Day 31 and Beyond: Hello, I'm a non-drinker

Well, Wonder, I am cracking up thinking of your re-enactment of Edward Scissorhand (one of my favorite movies, by the way!).......love your analogy of cutting away the overgrown shrubbery and weeds and finding the sunshine and the light!! It truly paints the picture of this journey we are on and how becoming sober "LOOKS".

Live, I also loved your post regarding friendship and open communication! I could relate completely to every word you spoke. I do believe that drinking makes us shallow and self centered. We live only an allusion of having fun and sharing real thoughts! It is amazing that when I share a conversation with you or WW, I feel such a warm and interesting exchange! The only problem there is that there is never enough time!

WIP, you will be at 30 Days in no time! And, I hope you enjoy this thread as much as I have. This thread has truly helped me to get to the point where I am now. The thing is, as our drinking days fade into the background. Life becomes more "Real" than it has been in a long while. During this period of growth and vulnerability, we need support and communication more than ever! It really helps to have others on the same wave length.....sharing experiences and thoughts and boosting each other up!

LVT, keep going, you are doing so well!

CS Yep...what WW said is so true, plant your feet (flag) resolve to do 30 and work it like crazy! It only takes not drinking, one day at a time!

XXX Kate