my bottom, I need help

[monrose]

my bottom, I need help

So much great advice here.....just wanted to let you know I know how your are feeling. The start is not easy, with help from this program and the people here you will succeed.
m.

[Lucy Van Pelt]

my bottom, I need help

Pooh!!!

Wow could I relate to your post!! I too have a 15 year old son. I too have always wanted to be the PERFECT mom to my kids (my daughter is 18). My son has "caught me" hiding drinks....and the shame, and the guilt...ugh. But I can guarantee you are a wonderful mother just by how terrible you feel. AND, I guarantee your son knows how wonderful you are. He just loves you and is scared for you. This alcohol issue is so difficult...but not our faults...it is just what we do about it that is our responsibility. I am still struggling, but will not give up. DO NOT beat yourself up for what happened. use it as your bottom, if that is what it takes, but don't be so hard on yourself. I so feel your pain. Nothing hurts us more than feeling like we let down our kids who we want to be "perfect" for. But again, I can TELL you are a loving mother...and sounds like you are raising a very sweet and caring boy.

Big hugs sweetie...We can fight this together

With Love,

Beth

[Reenie]

my bottom, I need help

Poohbear: First and foremost, you are not a terrible wife and mother. I believe you need to come to terms with the fact that you are alcoholic. You are “alcoholic” in terms of having an allergy to drinking alcohol. You are a good person. The alcohol is what is destroying you and your system. You have no control of yourself when you drink alcohol. It brings out another person. You and your family need to look at alcoholism such as it is... A disease...and/or allergy. Your drinking is not a weakness. Your drinking is a craving...a need. Upon ridding your body of alcohol, will you no longer crave it. Your family loves you. They want the best for you. Until you all come to terms as to what alcoholism is, will you be better equipped to fight the battle. Please don't take this post as me being harsh towards you. I'm just trying to convey that you are a good and worthy person, and that you, like many of us, are stuck with this disease! Until we accept having it and understanding it, will we be able to conquer it! It's important that you don't beat yourself up. We are the chosen few. It rots... It really does! Yet, if I were to have the same reaction eating ice cream as I do alcohol, wouldn't you think I would give up eating ice cream up to save my life? Well, this is how I view alcohol. The reactions to what it does to me is not worth my life nor my family's sorrow. Thus, I gave up alcohol. Seek some form of counseling whether it is going to AA or to a therapist. Dig deep. Educate yourself on this disease and accept it. You will pull through. Love, Reenie

[Bella]

my bottom, I need help

Poohbear, it sounds like your son hiding your vodka is a bit of a wake-up call? We all need them sometimes inorder to make a change. I did! You can make that change right here and now. Go on......i dare you. You still have your family who love you . Make them proud, but most of all, make yourself proud and get some help. YOU ARE A GOOD MOTHER> you deserve some tlc and you will get better. My heart goes out to you. Bella xx

[ThuzzyQ]

my bottom, I need help

Good words of advice Reenie. I too have two daughters who have done everything from name calling to dumping and have basically stopped any kind of reaction. This is all up to me and I think about them everyday and how much MORE of a mother I could be/will be.

[karbihere]

my bottom, I need help

poohbear now the feeling, i have lost my seventeen year old son due to my drinking and now have a felony on my record. I had been drinking in my home and got into a argument with my son, that turned physical and I fell on him and burnt him wih my cigarette and he turned me in. as I sat in jail for thirty five days surffering from by polar depression I THOUGHT my life was over. as I sit here today I have seven months sober and have been granted renuionfication services thru to court to get my son back.

WE ARE NOT BAD PEOPLE!!! WE ARE GOOD PEOPLE THAT HAVE MADE POOR CHOICES !!!


hang in there if you really want to be sober you can be!!! god bless

[Reenie]

my bottom, I need help

Karbihere: Wow... That's some story. I'm happy to hear your have been sober 7 months now. I hope your son has forgiven you for the accident and the two of you are rebuilding your relationship. -Reenie

[cowgal]

my bottom, I need help

oh my

Poohbear, I sit here reading w/ tears running down my face, I feel for you, as I have 2 teenaged sons who are always BEGGING us to stop drinking (my older son...16....got really upset once after I had 90 days in AA then drank..........he gave me a card saying "I am not mad, just disappointed") WOW, for a 16 year old, sounded so "grown up", and here I was being the irresponsible "child".............:upset:

You, for one thing as everyone else says, are not a failure as a mom, wife, person, this HORRIBLE disease, which I HATE w/ all my soul right now, is causing you to do these things, hopefully all the things said here will help you, I know it is difficult, just take all the advice given that you care to and recover...........one day at a time.........starting with today if you can.............

We all love you and care about you alot, I KNOW THAT FOR A FACT!!! There are beautiful giving, loving and wonderful people here for you to talk to and listen to.............

BIG HUGS, lots of LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!:welcome:

Mary Anne

[dexterhead]

my bottom, I need help

Hi Pooh! I'm not a mom, but I hurt for you. I can tell you are such a sweet person and your son loves you and you are a wonderful mom. This whole ordeal sucks, I know .. but we are here for you .. sending hugs:l :l :h

[Noelle]

my bottom, I need help

It hurts to even read that. My daughter has done that to me too, many times. And I still didn't stop right away. I loved AL more than my daughter, the light of my life. But I've finally quit (I sincerely hope) and I wish things will get better between her and I. In fact they are already.

So you just had your wakeup call....try to do something about it while you're still feeling bad and guilty. Remind yourself of how you feel right now and how you want to change and how you don't want to feel like that again. HTH

And BTW, you're not horrible, okay? :*

[Cinders]

my bottom, I need help

karbihere and poohbear,

I have read these posts with tears literally streaming down my face.

Karbihere, I am so glad that you got your son back and know what being sober means. It means life!!!

Poohbear,

Listen and learn.

Failure is not a freaking option. You must figure out how to sober up. It is hard. It is hard for me it is hard for you and it is hard for everyone on this site. However, it is worth every bit of "HARD" there is.

Hugs and caring for both of you. You DO NOT want to hurt your children from this.

BOTH of my children are alcoholics. BOTH!! They were before I was, so I throw the blame somewhere else (anywhere it wants to land) but my son and his wife wait until their kids go to sleep before they drink (thank the Lord) and my daughter is DYING from this disease at 26. Liver disease at 26.

So, please, get a hold of it, wrest it, drag it to the ground. Yank it by its neck and wring as hard as you can!!

Whatever it takes.

Poohbear, your son loves you. Love him back and figure out what you need to do to make this go away, to cure it, to slay the beast. Okay?? Because beyond there, there be dragons..

I am looking at dragons..

Love,
Cindi

[InnerStrength]

my bottom, I need help

Hey Poohbear
When I had a situation about 6 months ago that I considered my bottom, I had a friend who told me that this was great news! Of course, a little offended, I said "why would this be good news - that I hit my bottom!?" and she said, "because now there is no other way to go but UP". And she was right. Things have gone way up since then in my life. You can do it - hold onto that situaiton as a good "remember when" while you get things together. I believe you can do it - if i can, anyone can
Big hugs
Jen

[Leebo]

my bottom, I need help

Poohbear,

I believe that as mothers there is a certain pain we endure when our children are touched by our drinking more than anything else. Unfortunately, there is absolutely nothing we can do about the past, but everything we can do about the future.

How do you get there sweetie.... you do it one day at the time.. time will heal.. your son loves you.. you make a choice every moment of your life..

I read something this evening Satori wrote about choices and how every opportunity we pass up to make the "right" choice makes it that much harder the next time and it was so true. I am still struggling as many others are, but with the help of everything I have learned here, the supps, the Topa, I am progressing.. and I will make it.

You will make it too - "Make it a rule of life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can't build on it; it is only good for wallowing in." Katherine Mansfield (1888-1923)

Leebo

[Accountable for Me]

my bottom, I need help

Thinking of you poohbear. I can't add anything more that what was already said here.

I simply wanted you to know that I am indeed thinking of you. Take this opportunity to find the strength to turn this all around.

YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!!

[poohbear]

my bottom, I need help

I just wanted to post a quick reply to say a great big huge THANK YOU so, so, so very much for all of your replies, your wonderful words of advice, your kind, kind words and most of all for being there and being so supportive. I was so afraid all day when I was at work that when I got home that my son would not even want to talk to me - that of course was not the case. I know that this road is going to be so long and so very HARD but it's going to also be so worth it. When I woke up this morning I was almost grateful that this whole thing happened - it was the exact wake call that I needed. I felt a little free this morning - kind of like whew finally I don't have to live like this anymore - I have another choice, I DON'T HAVE to drink anymore - it's kind of like the bondage of AL has been lifted - does this make sense? Now I am not naive enough to think that this is going to be easy breezy cause I know its not. I am going to have cravings, I am going to have bad days, I am going to get irritable - I know this - but I really truley feel that for the first time in 10 years my family, my life and my health are more important than that damn bottle, in all my attempts at quitting in the past this was not the case - I always knew in the back of my head I was going to drink again - I need to put a STOP to such stinking thinking. Just think, no more hiding, no more sneaking, no more damn hangovers at work the next morning - no more wasting my life - it is time to grow up. Whew it does feel kind of liberating in a sense.

Well anyway if I keep going I am just going to start crying again - words cannot express how much all of your posts meant to me - you are all right, I am NOT a bad person, just a person with a horrible, terrible,God forsaken disease and AL will not hold such a power over me anymore - I am taking back my life.

Hugs to you all,

Pbear

P.S. yes I do love dogs - I have two of them - the one in the pic is my baby