Before I offend, I want to say that this post is only to try and help people and nothing more. But as some people do not like "tough love" some may not like what I have to say.
I have been torn the last couple of months about responding to certain threads and posts because so many people are easily offended. Alcoholism makes us all extremely vulnerable. But it seems some people only want you to answer their cries for help only if you tell them what they want to hear. I think this sort of negativity is very unhealthy for all of us and it is a really bad example for any new members. And it's only because of this, that I have chosen to put this in a separate thread and not respond to a number of posts.
Here it goes.....
Getting sober takes work! I know most of you are thinking "no kidding". But I am dead serious. Too many people seem to be "disenchanted" that they are not sober even though they have been here awhile. I am really talking about people who want to drink, but want us to tell them it's ok over and over again. We are not helping them, we are not helping ourselves and more importantly this is not helping the new members.
But please listen up only if you really want to be healthy and sober.....
It takes work! A lot of work!! We are given the tools; meds, supps, books, cds but these are not magic. There is no magic pill or supps. They are only to help aide the process. They are not going to fix the problem for you. It takes work, commitment and determination. There is no room for "poor me" and excuses. If you can not see past your own dark self pity, than you will never be able to see the bright future that you can have if you really want it.
If you don't change your own habits and actions, you will spend a lot more time struggling to find your way out. Nobody can do this for you.
People slip after trying awhile. And many people slip more than once. But they pick themselves up and get back on the wagon! And we all can understand what they are going through. This is part of the recovery process for many. But the point is that they got back on the wagon.
Only you can help you. If you don't want to put in the work, and I mean every single day, then no one here can help you.
All I'm asking is for people to face reality. You can talk the talk, but now it's time to walk the walk.
Love, Me
:l
I have been torn the last couple of months about responding to certain threads and posts because so many people are easily offended. Alcoholism makes us all extremely vulnerable. But it seems some people only want you to answer their cries for help only if you tell them what they want to hear. I think this sort of negativity is very unhealthy for all of us and it is a really bad example for any new members. And it's only because of this, that I have chosen to put this in a separate thread and not respond to a number of posts.
Here it goes.....
Getting sober takes work! I know most of you are thinking "no kidding". But I am dead serious. Too many people seem to be "disenchanted" that they are not sober even though they have been here awhile. I am really talking about people who want to drink, but want us to tell them it's ok over and over again. We are not helping them, we are not helping ourselves and more importantly this is not helping the new members.
But please listen up only if you really want to be healthy and sober.....
It takes work! A lot of work!! We are given the tools; meds, supps, books, cds but these are not magic. There is no magic pill or supps. They are only to help aide the process. They are not going to fix the problem for you. It takes work, commitment and determination. There is no room for "poor me" and excuses. If you can not see past your own dark self pity, than you will never be able to see the bright future that you can have if you really want it.
If you don't change your own habits and actions, you will spend a lot more time struggling to find your way out. Nobody can do this for you.
People slip after trying awhile. And many people slip more than once. But they pick themselves up and get back on the wagon! And we all can understand what they are going through. This is part of the recovery process for many. But the point is that they got back on the wagon.
Only you can help you. If you don't want to put in the work, and I mean every single day, then no one here can help you.
All I'm asking is for people to face reality. You can talk the talk, but now it's time to walk the walk.
Love, Me
:l
so, here to say that it takes work or in my case it takes not thinking about it or when i do not taking that first drink. this week even i thought of it as everyone looked like they are having such a good time but with 4 months. nope, not going to do that. and, i wonder at what point does one read all of their posts and realize they are just trading deck chairs on the titanic? how long do you want to play this game? how much of life are you willing to lose for this game called alcohol. is it worth everything that you are giving up and all that you don't even know you are giving up? is it worth your relationships? is it worth your self respect and self esteem? and why would i feel sorry for you? i feel compassion as to what the dance does but i can't feel much else when i know for me at least i got help and i have no more urge to drink. was it expensive yes. but was it worth my life? yes. how funny it is to me that people come to me and say well i have my doubts and blah blah blah. okay, that's fine but i have 4 months with freedom and no thoughts of alcohol cept an occasional humm. that is totally different from drinking myself stupid everyday which is what i once did. so some may choose to battle it out everyday and not drink, some may choose as i did to have it gone completely and recalibrate their system, some may find freedom in all the goods and also may find freedom in moderation. but true power freedom and peace of mind comes from living your life with integrity inside of giving your word to something and honoring it. that means " no matter what". and until you truly have that. you aren't free. as i said i have compassion for what the hell must be like to be on the continual hampster wheel. but i think a good dose of w.t.f. is in order when you look in the mirror. it's my life and only my life. and what the hell am i doing to myself and everyone around me. and no, it is not the bottles fault. it is entirely up to you to get the power you need over it or to remove it's hold on you completely.
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