Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

[blondechicktoyou]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

day 7 and still busy

We are on day 7, and actually both of us got alot accomplished today. My hubby was worried about a Sunday w/o AL, I was thinking to myself, don't worry, I will keep you busy outside. He actually busted his @$$!!! Cleaned his work truck out and washed it, weed eated and mowed the grass, grilled hamburgers on the grill and we went to our favorite store, Wally World, the $50 trip turned into $100, funny how that happens. I actually was able to sit down and read the sunday paper and chill after about 4:00, rather than run around like a chicken with my head cut off, wondering what to do next. Anyway, almost 10:00 Kansas time, so I will read some more posts and call it a night. Hubby told one of the guys that he works with that by Wednesday I will be ironing his underwear. NOT!!

[wonderworld]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Nice blondechick!

Good morning Sober Livers (!?!?!?!) -

Yesterday was LONG!!!!! :upset: (but good ). Anyone ever sit in an all-day meeting with like 20 people, all over-stressed and trying to solve big problems? Lovely . Thanks to my new sobriety, I was invited to join this project, a very exciting once in a lifetime type opportunity. I am thrilled. However, it all leads up to 4 days of public events here in the NY area May 15-19. So, if I get a little mental between now and then...........

Okay - back to the matter at hand. First, let me say, that there is one person working on this project who I can see is drinking too much to cope with stress. OMG how many times have I been in that mindset ? Stressed out and under pressure, drinking at night to knock myself out so I can sleep, feeling the effects the day after, getting VERY ITCHY in the afternoon, thinking about when I'll be able to grab the first drink and settle down, and so the cycle repeats. Yuk. Her skin looks bad, here eyes look slightly bloodshot all the time, looks like she hasn't eaten in a month. She's getting everything done, but at a very high price. I just know where she is. I gave her a :l too. Maybe I'll have an opportunity at some point to tell her about MWO. It's a little scary looking at this 'mirror'.

Okay, So I want to read, read, read, now and catch up .

Back in a bit -

Love WW xox

[wonderworld]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Blondechick - I love the description of your sober Sunday. I'm thinkng that in sober living........well.........things happen . Things get done. When I drink, the MINIMUM happens. In the months that I've been on MWO, I see my house going through a (not so) subtle transformation . Piles on the kitchen counters are dissolving, drawers are getting organized, bags of old clothes to Goodwill, cleaning that spot on the wall that's been there for 5 years which, when I was drinking assumed (insisted) was 'permanent'. I'm not a perefectionist by a long shot, but this general 'uplift' in my environment as a result of the AF feels like another wonderful benefit.

And speaking of sober living - So Wooflet was AF at the disco! Sweet!

:applaud: :disco:

LOVE your reasons to be AF! SO true. I mean WOT !?!?!?! You can go to an evening function, maintain your sobriety, sanity and self-respect, AND have a little fun. SHUT UP!!!!!! That AL had us SO fooled. Bastard!!!!


Big Mac - It IS astounding, what's happening on this site. I totally agree with you. There are the occassional flare-ups to deal with as a result of personality clashes or AL wreaking havoc, but other than that, just a phenomenal situation. I feel very lucky to have found it :h.

Hi Evie - glad you jumped in. You say that you feel you may only be seeing the 'success stories' here and not seeing YOUR 'failures' in other people's posts. First, I would say that I bet for every person out there brave enough to post about their struggles to get a day one, that there are hundreds or even thousands, who wish they could evern start to try. I think that for those of us with extra anxiety/depression, the wave that hits you in the first days AF can be even more scary becasue, as you said, those feelings seem to have taken us down a bad road before. All I can say is - it's up to you. Alcohol consumption increases baseline anxiety/depression (though it gives short term relief). It will always make it harder in the big picture. So - what do you do? For one thing - keep talking. I don't think it's enough to say 'Day 1', unless you are willing to bring it ALL to the table and break it down. You can't hold on to the "in case of emergency" AL button. It means that if you feel like you're going to drink you come here and post in "Need Help ASAP" and scream for help and keep talking til it passes. It means talking about the specific fears and negative thoughts that come up - putting words to them and getting them out. Getting all the alcohol out of the house. Telling any supportive person nearby what you're doing and how they can help. It's not an "I'll try" kind of thing. For myself, even with all that going on and a 150% commitment, I still had several Day 1's. Al is not beaten one-on-one.

And as far as going to a councellor - if it's a good one - why not go anyway if you're AF? (Is a councellor like a 'therapist' in the U.S. ? If so, it's in MY tool kit, thank you very much .)

And I would ask - what has your drinking pattern been? How much have you been drinking on a daily basis in the last 6 months ? Are you taking the topa yet? I'm not a 'weaner', so I don't really know about that. This is the ONE area of my life, where it HAS TO BE be black and white. I don't have the capacity to moderate my drinking or wean myself off of it responsibly, nor do I want to 'learn' . And I am actually happy about that. It's more merciful somehow to just 'cut the cord' and get on with it - for ME.

to be cont'd ...... afraid I'm going to lose this........

[roamer723]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

wonderworld;320531 wrote:

roamer - Way to go on cutting that in half (!), but more important - talking about the whole process here. Talking through what happens before during and after a drink that you "didn't intend to have" earlier in the day, is a HUGE part of the process. It took me a long time to get used to the fact that the MWO approach does not 'shame' anyone for drinking, but invites you to examine what the trigger was, what behavior followed (both 'good' and 'bad' ), and what you could do differently next time. This kind of investigation, with support, is part of what will connect the 'old' living' with the 'sober living'. I guess that 'sober' in this case does not refer just to AF - but an overall healthier approach. Do you have ideas about what to do tonight? Strategies? Tools? Distractions? If not, about 6,000 people (MWO) can keep you company while you think!
ww xox

hey ww

ya, my trigger is usually family. heh heh. at the end of the day, even with no stress, I want a drink just b/c it's habit. But on top of that, there's the everyday stress of the kids in the evening, then getting them to bed, then etc....and I'm listening to myself as I right this and I realize what a copout that is to use the kids. It's not their fault. It's my fault. I am an adult and I can deal with this.

So for me, it's just trying to relax at the end of the day and it's a habit.

Lately I've been substituting. I was doing half and half, but I decided to try something different. I'm also on a low carb diet right now and alcohol doesn't have carbs, but your liver burns alcohol before anything else, so it stalls you. So now I'm drinking a sweet sugar free drink instead of liquor and it's worked so far. I still want a real drink, but I'm making a conscious effort not to.

3 days AF now.

[wonderworld]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

So Peanut - along these lines, and I am giving you MY philosophy only - lose the AF wine, as you said. If you are quitting, your poor little brain cannot deal with: the taste of wine or beer, trace amounts of alcohol or 'drinking patterns' uninterrupted. It will not make the transition. We have created an 'alcohol dependent' system - one that requires alcohol to feel 'normal' (even if it's a few glasses of wine every night). When you start to tinker, you have no control over how your body will react, and no way to anticipate it. I believe this is especially true of women - whose bodies are so much more complex. All I know is, that when I am AF'ing it, I KNOW FOR SURE that any rough patches are detox symptoms and that getting through them AF means I'm one step closer to freedom. WHATEVER IT TAKES!!! And if it was just the AF wine, I say absolutely count those days as AF. After all it WAS "AF" wine (though the AF claim is not completely accurate) and you learned what you needed to. Alot of people try it. I think if you're moderating, these "AF" options are fantastic.

I feel so good these days that sometimes I forget about those multiple day 1's and how they felt. If anyone cares to, they can read my old posts (if they're still here )). I fought with everything I had for 3 months to get THIS day 1. And the "dust yourself off and try again" mornings were very hard :upset:. I felt ashamed and embarassed. I felt that I had 'let down' the people here who helped me. I felt weak and pathetic. I didn't want to 'go public' with my 'failure'. And yet I also really didn't want to drink! I was scared to be left alone in my 'old life'. Like I always say........ KEEP TALKING!!!! This is not about pride or looking good. It is ALL OF US against the beast. If we lose one battle, we're not giving up on the war!!! As Thankful, MM and so many say - NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!


Nojoke - to you and anyone else with a spouse/partner telling you you're a 'wet blanket' and pressuring you to not to "be so boring " :H , perhaps giving them the "30 day speech" will help buy you some time (since the 'supportive' thing looks little sketchy at the moment ). In other words - you've made a commitment to go 30 days AF (for your health), and during that time, drinking situations are off limits (except for unavoidable work/family commitments) . Is that so crazy? If someone REALLY has a problem with that, well....... why?


Getting there..........

Love WW xox

[bestlifeldms]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Hi all!

Day 28 AF, for me and loving it! Productivity has improved both at work and home. I am trying to keep this in balance however, because I believe that being a work-aholic helped lead me toward alcohol abuse. My bigger challenge is learning to rest and recreate. Balance! This is my ultimate goal. Slowing down my brain. Believing that I deserve to take time for me. Learning that the sum of my worth is not measured, ONLY, by how much I produce.

Evie, I just wanted to tell you that I have been here, off and on, since July of 2006. My story is "success at last"! LOL! I could be the poster child for - never give up and try, try, again. Struggling was what I did for 21 months. I had drank for 22 of the last 30 years - (took a few breaks having kids, etc.) So, keep the faith! My wish for everyone is that it would not take them as long as it took me. However, I am certainly happy that I am where I am, at last!

Love and support to all,

Best

[cowgal]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

can't wait!

I am back at day 1, will you have me?? I let the debaucle w/ Mike last week really ruin my weekend, can't stand how I drink to numb the pain all the time, didn't have time to read EVERYONE's posts, but you all sound so positive, I need to get more positivity back into my life now...............a fresh start, had 30-some days off and on, but going for the long haul this time around.

love you guys,:l:h you inspire me, not good w/ all the names, but WW, you are the best!!!

MA

[ntcentral]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Hi all, I stumbled onto this thread this morning. I'm just awakening to Day 17 AF. Last summer I made it until Day 21, and two years before that, I hit three months. I've probably had a "problem" for at least 10 if not 15 years. I'm a wine person although hard liquor does the trick when wine isn't available or if I need one more jolt to get into never-never land.

It's reassuring to see that others have experienced some of the same symptoms I have experienced during the last 2-3 weeks. The first week I was waking up in a sweat, as though my body was in overdrive trying to burn up carbohydrates that just weren't in the system. I guess it is used to digesting a bottle+ of wine everynight. I've been tasting a metallic-sugar taste too, and I'm thinking that is my body craving simple sugar. I experienced severe headaches the first week and a general mental malaise. Now I'm not sleeping well, waking up several times a night and feeling agitated about 4 or 5 in the afternoon, which is right before my usual "witching time". I'm new to this site so haven't read the books and haven't started the herbal supplements. I am taking Naltrexone for the first time and I guess it must be helping. Ordinarily, I never would have made it this long, so that must in part be accountable.

Well, there's my introduction. I relate to so many or your posts, ranging to attending social events AF to dealing with stress and family issues at night. Today is an absolutely goregous spring day. I have a slow day at work so intend on going in late so I can sit outside and drink coffee. It's been many moons since I've awaken with no hangover. What a treat---coffee for the pure joy of coffee and not as an antidote to last night's intake. Regards to all.

[LVT25]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

:hello2:


Sometimes all I can think about when I read these posts is how thankful I am that I'm not a
wine drinker! There's got to be something extra-addicting about it--so many here claim it as their Queen of beasts!! There is also that problem of once you pull that cork out--someone's got to finish that bottle!!

Best--I love what you said about balance--I feel this is really important!
It seemed like I was getting a lot done when I was drinking (and smoking) it gave me energy, kept me going. It's a good thing, cause the next day I wouldn't feel like doing a damn thing!

Now, I'm becoming more aware of myself, my health in particular. I'm doing things that will hopefully give me the energy I've been lacking lately. Eating better, exercising, detoxifying.

I had a really good weekend with my family. AF for 2 weekends in a row, that is a new record for me. It's just a bit of a lifestyle change for me. It may be rubbing off a bit on hubby too?!?!

[time2change]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Well I have made it to day 7 again. I truly hope that is the last time I ever have to say orsrite that.

Many, many triggers this weekend. My older son is back from college and alothough he has lied and said grades are not out they are an he did extremely poorly. Wo'nt be going back again in tha fall.

Younger son needs to pass math this semesteror will be left back.

And the problems with me and husband are endless. He is still drinking and called in sick today. I'm sure that his being diabetic and drinking at least 8 beers yesterday might have something to do with it. Of course, when his job needs to make cuts who will be first to go and that will be another trigger for me. Then there is the lonliness and boredom.

I am using antabuse because i am so sick of the day 1's/ For me this seems to be the answer I needed. Also have found chat and the great people there ot be alifeline this weekend. Good Luck to all of you and again than you WW>

[wonderworld]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

OMG ROAMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!

What a thrill!!! (I love it when Al gets a kick in the ass!!!). 3 beautiful days!!!! And how brilliant your description of that end-of-the-day slide into the arms of the beast!!!! As you pointed out, the actual drink is only the last step in all the more subtle thinking patterns of how we relate to that time of day ( i.e. "oh crap" . or "oh crap" followed by "Yay, I can have a drink!" ). As time goes by, that all can shift and change. And as the evenings get more comfortable, the impulse for the drink goes away. And, in my humble opinion, whatever replaces those old patterns is the "sober" you, not just you minus AL, if that makes sense. That's the exciting discovery, or re-discovery, of your body, mind, spirit, your LIFE without any effects of AL whatsoever. And we will NEVER know what that looks or feels like until we try it. Scary thought!!! I don't want AL making ANY decisions for me ever again.

A big Woo hoo for Bestlife!!! I love hearing anything about your success story. And so happy you're here sharing it! That IS a major theme here (in case anyone didn't know ) NEVER GIVE UP!!!! You give us a concrete example of what that means. Awesome !


Wooflet - thank you for correcting my "time zone math" . Okay so I had the right time, wrong day, right? Good!!! (trust me, it's a major improvement). And yes we WILL chat!! Oh yes, we will........

Cowgal - pull up a chair (a screen? a post?). You a re absolutely welcome here of course! Um...... what was that phrase agan? oh yeah....... NEVER GIVE UP!!!!

ntcentral - a giant Welcome ! 17 days is just fantastic! :goodjob: A huge deal!!!
As far as the symptoms: Some will just continue to settle down over time, over along period of time actually. My sleep patterns are still a little wacko, for one thing. There is much literature (I think some articles are on this site - I'l try to look for them), that talk about the "recovering brain", it really takes time :l. But as long as you are not drinking, and exploring issues that come up and finding solutions, your whole system is continuing to recover deeply, even on days (especially on days) when you don't feel 'good'. Crankiness, sleeplessness, sugar cravings, headaches, general malaise - all detox symptoms!!!

Be gentle with yourself. Take care of your body as best you can with good food, lots of water, light exercise if you can. Resting is also in order! If you can't get full nights of sleep or naps, some just plain 'down time' can be very helpful I think. Letting your mind and body rest as best it can. A magazine on the couch, a nice warm bath or shower, a funny/happy movie, even a little walk with headphones and music (my fav) etc. Resting is not just 'sleeping', you know?

And get the kudzu and L Glut right away - they whip sugar cravings. Sugar cravings are another withdrawal symptom. I know nothing about Naltrexone, but are any of your sypmtoms listed as potential side -effects? If so, you may adapt, or you may find a little down the road that you don't want/need to take it anymore. I'd get the Kudzu and L Glut (and other supps) going before you do that though. Remember - you're helping your brain to heal - and the better it gets, the easier AF is! I tried Campral at first, but when I coudn't poop for 2 weeks, I stopped (ew - sorry). I couldn't take it!:upset:

As far as the book (which you can download from this site for a small fee), I'd read it. I say that because I find the MWO approach to be quite different from other sobriety programs, and reading the book helped me 'get' how this particular one works. Beyond laying out all the MWO tools, I felt that it helped me to "take control", feel like I'm 'up on' all things MWO, and get down to work.

And to you and everyone else - how you feel at 30 days will be NIGHT AND DAY compared to how you feel now (yes, even at 17 days) . And 90 days? Don't get me started !!!

JUST KEEP GOING!!!!!!

Okay - Wonder to the shower. woo hoo!!! to get ready for all the days irritations, DOH!! I mean joyous surprises

Love WW xox

[KateH1]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Hey All, Well, I have been really busy this weekend, so I have not been around here much. I am so greatful to be enjoying my weekends and really living life. I can reflect on how different I was last Septemeber when I arrived here. I felt really hopeless and helpless. I wanted an "instant cure". I wanted to be able to Mod successfully, because I thought that I still wanted alcohol in my life and I could not imagine not having it. So, I did a lot of "thinking" about AF, I would string a few days together and then drink. Yep, I had days of drinking only one or two and then boom!! I would drink too much, feel depressed, anxious and the hopelessness would return. After a few weeks of this, I downloaded the book, bought the Kudzu and other supps, and started the MWO program. I decided to make a serious go at AF without the drugs. I also decinded to stop "Trying" and "Thinking" and "Hoping for the Best" and really COMMITT to becoming sober and living a sober life. I thought of it as though training for a marathon, work and dedication and retraining my mind and thoughts. Like WW, I am an All or Nothing sort of person. Well, I made it 28 days, then, I allowed myself to be lured by AL, the F'ER, and on day 28, I decided that I was feeling really good and had my stuff together and that I could just reward myself and have a drink or two. After all, I had made it through the Holidays without a drop! After getting really drunk, feeling like crap both emotionaly and physicly, I went AF the next day........this time for good! Now, after four months + AF, I feel good. Yep, there are still "moments", when for a minute or two, I think about AL, but, I get busy and get those ideas out of my head. Those moments come more rarely, last far less time, if I do my part.

I know, that there are people at all levels, of sobriety on this thread. The fact that you are here, says that you want to be Free of this unhealthy obsession. Do not kid yourself that it is "easier for some" and that is why they are now non-drinkers. It is not easy for anyone. But, the work is so well worth the end result and that, to me, is living as a non-drinker!

I wish you all strength and peace on your journey!
KateH

[Ollie]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Wow, I had a lot of catching up to do; I was gone all weekend. Good job to everyone racking up the days and welcome to the newcomers!
So glad the weekend is over and I am entering Day 6.
All of your posts are so encouraging to keep this up. It's exausting not drinking. I long for the day that the thought of drinking does not enter my mind.

Ollie

[BigMac]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Good morning everyone. Wish I had more time to write, but must get off to work. I did want to check in and say hello. This thread is growing so quickly with so many great posts; I need to spend some time tonight and get caught up!

Ollie, for me the exhausting part left me around day 8-10 or so, so hopefully you're not far off! After that the AL thinking starts to quiet a bit and you mind starts to shift to more productive thoughts (at least mine did). Anyway, congrats on your 5 days AF!

27 Days AF today.

[Peanut]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Happy Monday Morning!!!
(did I say that???)
I was actually singing "put on a happy face" this morning, feeling quite euphoric entering day5 AF. I do hope this feeling lasts. I managed to not drink yesterday at my running club and am quite proud of myself. I even slept marginally better. Had breakfast before coming to work too!!! What is wrong with me?!?!? Only a slight headache, but nothing to bothersome. I shall drink a whack of water and hopefully it will pass.
I have to get to work right away, so will check in this evening to see how everybody is doing!
Congrats to all you AFers and welcome to any Newbies!

The Happy Peanut