Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

[Larisa]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

WOW, LVT, Rusty, and Peanut...Happy Day 31!!! You're on the Other Side now, where I've wanted to be for so long!!! That is so awesome! I've never even come close to doing 30 days before. If only I can hold on until tomorrow! Will she make it, or will she fall face-first, mouth open into a vat of cheap Austrailian red??? Stay tuned...(not that it's all that interesting).

Jessie and CS, I've been where you are at least 8 million gajillion times, so I totally know the feeling. I have had SO many day ones; I couldn't even take myself seriously at all. I wish I had found this place then. I think everybody here is right. Who cares how many you have? As long as you have another one, you have another chance, and I bet there are tons of people who take a long-ass time to get it right. I may have 3 gazillion more and need you to remind me of this, btw...

WW, I was in AA for 3 years. It might have worked, if only I could've stayed sober for 2 seconds. I had good sponsors, and I thought if I worked the steps, went to meetings, did service work, etc., was really GOOD, sobriety just might follow! Eventually I got sick of confessing my relapses and being Ms. Revolving Door and vowed never to fess up again, so I just lied to everybody. Needless to say, I didn't get sober.

But now I have topa - beautiful, sweet, wonderful, lovely, topa.

And, hey, WW? I trust you.

[keeta]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Day 1 of 30 for me...July will be a sober month for me I hope.
ODAT.

[wonderworld]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Larisa you're a doll. Glad we've met. No you won't do it. It's been too long-ass an effort to throw it away now! Your slot is officially saved over on 31-60 for Thursday. Since you're in OZ, stand on your head and check in there bright and early! And Topa I also know nothing about. But if that tool works for you - I say right on! You're looking GOOD!!!!!

HI keeta!!!! Another familiar face! Glad you checked in here. Strength in numbers. And Yes! It's July 1. A perfect day to start fresh on 30. A great group here. Stay close!

WW xox

[KBCE]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Hey there - WW: just popped in to say what a wonderful support you are to all on this thread. I am on Day 1 again - I went 14 days no problem then had a few glasses of wine one day, one beer another...sigh. I have never been told I have a problem, but since I think I do, that is all that matters. I am really going to try to to 30 and beyond. If I did 14, I can go another measly 2 weeks, right? ODAT.... Anyway, not trying to hijack the thread, but all of you on here are inspirations to me and I thank you. I need you guys!

Kat

[CS04]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Hi all,
I guess I am staying here for now, till I decide what to do. I don't know if I have it in me to try another 30 right now. WW, I went 14 days, then another 7. That was a week ago. So I am not at 30 or 31. KBCE, welcome. Sorry so short but I'm still crabby and confused.

[wonderworld]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

aw CS :l, I hear you. Sorry, I was confused. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Hang out here and don't worry. I hope you get a good rest tonight. When you feel better, you'll know what to do. We're right here 'til then (and after!).

And I HOPE nobody really thinks I would, like, try to 'kick somebody out' (LVT!!!!) I would not.

KCBE - highjack? no way! pull up a..... a...... post? You're in excellent company here I think! So good to see you and everyone.

July 1st. Day 1. Nice ring. No worries about 30 days or 'forever'. Or even tomorrow for right now. At all. Creature comforts, I say. Yummy food, rest, hot shower, supps, lots of water, stuff like that. Fresh start!!! Be gentle with yourself and let the drinking past go. Just let it go.......

Is anyone taking kudzu and/or L Lgut? I found these to be really good for physical cravings, both preventing and treating them fast.

See you a little later! WW xox

[CS04]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

I am not taking kudzu anymore, ran out of L-Glut last week and took last Topa today. Maybe that explains the mess I am currently in!! WW, thanks for your support. I don't know if I could ever go 6 months -- i didn't even when pregnant (although drank very little, which was nice!)

KBCE, how has day 1 been for you? I found that once I hit about 8:30 or 9:00 (after dinner) that cravings/wanting to drink were gone. Keeta, hope you are holding out as well.

FreshHope, I hear your struggles.

I will miss Peanut, LVT and Rusty. I feel like I have let them and myself down. I am glad to see them move on to the next phase, though. Not sure what goals to set for myself now. But I do not want to discourage anyone who is on Day 1 and starting for July -- happy good start for you all!

[Peanut]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Hi guys!!!

Just a quick hello on this gorgeous, beautiful Canada Day!!!! We had a fabulous hash run - I had to set the trail, then ran it, then went out and sat in the bar with everybody, and am just home after being out and about for seven and a half hours and am rather pooped. But, even though I am day 31, past my 30 days, I opted for AF beer. Yay!!! I had the committee roaming around my head first thing this morning of course - but completely avoided that little wine-rep in the corner, so I was OK. I feel good.

July 1 is a really good day for everybody to start a new 30day AF stretch, so the best of luck (or whatever it is) to Keeta and KCBE and the rest of you starting on a 30day campagne. And I agree with Larisa on the "topa - beautiful, sweet, lovely, topa" sentiment. I do wonder if I would have been able to do it without it!!! I shall stick with it and see how it goes for me through July. Larisa - one more day and you are there!!!! WooHoo!!!!

Gotta go have a little rest before hopping on my bike - we will zoom down to the river and watch the fireworks!!! I must tell you all, it has been wonderful getting to know you all this past month or so - you have all given me such an invaluable source of support and an place to turn to to let my thoughts out - somewhere that I know I can say what I need to say without worrying about.... oh, I don't know what I want to say.. just thanks so much for just being out there. I don't think I could have come as far as I have without having you people there with me on this trek. Just knowing I have not been doing this on my own has been an immense help!

Love Peanut xoxoxoxo

[Peanut]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

CS04 - cross posted.
I always have to waggle my finger at you, don't I!!!!!! You have not let anybody down, let alone me or LVT or Rusty. You just carry on and keep on trying!!!! Who's to say I won't turn around and go get loaded within the next hour!!?? (I won't, but who knows?!?!?) Please, don't feel guilty about these things. I am not sure what the next phase will be for me yet. I don't think it will be complete abstaining from alcohol, but I am also very afraid to have that first glass of wine, and am hoping the Topa will help me somewhat with moderating, but like I said before, how does one learn to moderate by abstaining??? I will try - I still want to drink that champagne, but will wait until friday, and won't have any other wine in the house, so I can't go any further. It is mightly confusing!!

OK - I will check in on you guys, cuz otherwise, I'll just miss you all too much!!!!
xoxo Peanut

[LVT25]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

HEY, You guys don't really think you're going to get rid of me THAT easy do you????:H
We gotta stick together!!:h:l

[ame=

]YouTube - Lionel Richie - Stuck On You (Covers SLD)[/ame]

[wonderworld]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

aw........ LVT. Sooooo sweet! Stuck on you too!!

How is everyone today? CS? KCBE? keeta? How did the night go?

Larisa - face first into the vat, or no?

[wonderworld]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

I was just reading back in the thread and I'm SO SORRY Jessie. I must have missed your earlier post first time around. Didn't mean to ignore your question. What happened to make me realize I had hit bottom? Interesting question........

What's a bottom? ha ha ha! But seriously. I became familiar with that term in my years in AA. There seemed to be this idea that you would come to some horrific place in your life because of drinking that not only shocked you into lifelong sobriety, but made you totally accepting and grateful about it. Guess I haven't hit a bottom! And I've been in some really WRETCHED states because of my drinking. I've also had what I thought was MY ABSOLUTE BOTTOM FOR LIFE, and then, a few months or years later, I found another sub-basement. So I don't really buy into the concept. You can keep making "new" bottoms until you're 6 feet under, if you ask me.

HOWEVER, the pattern of finding/creating new horrors for myself from drinking has been absolutely consistent. It's impossible to debate in the light of this AF day. But put some alcohol in my system and I FORGET. I get fuzzy. I rationalize. I lose my sight.

And I'm thinking, you know how you (we, I) don't want this to be such an anxiety-provoking topic? How you don't want to walk around feeling like a battle is going on in your head constantly, that every social occasion with AL gives you anxiety, that you worry all the time about whether you're 'okay'? Understood! And here's the thing - that's what we're here to resolve! But no, 30 days AF won't do it for 99.999% of us, I think.

Whether you Mod successfully or go AF, eventually it's not such a big deal any more. I myself am not struggling at all these days. The people I started this 6 months AF with feel the same (the ones who are still AF). But you have to work very hard I think to make a transition, a deep one. And all that's required is that you keep trying, trying different tools, weighing the results, finding what works FOR YOU. Eventually, you've got your groove and it's not hard. With MWO you kind of design your own treatment plan and keep refining it as you go. It's very self-directed (and another reason this board is SO important for support I think). And whether you mod or go AF after the initial 30 days, it's not that the multi-faceted MWO program itself just stops on day 31! That's s a set up designed to make you fail and feel bad all over again.

Hope everyone's doing well!

Love WW xox

[keeta]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Good morning to everyone!

Another beautiful day I am happy to wake up to, not hung over. Thanks to all for the warm greeting to this 30 day adventure!:h

WW, I enjoyed your post above, regarding bottoms. Man oh man, the sub basements I have created by continuing to drink! :H It isn't funny, in as much as I can simply relate.

I live in an area where alcohol abuse is quite sadly, the norm. I know a woman who at the young age (early thirties) suffered a massive stroke due to heavy daily alcohol, and tabacco use...who still drinks SO heavily, I worry for her daily. She freely admits to being an alcoholic.

Another group of people here, also were heavy alcohol abusers....not sure if they were alcoholics...but daily, or every second day drinking for years....three of them quit...two are still sober, three years later...one had just recently started drinking again...I cried when I found out...why...why after so long, go back...this is a person who lost a marriage, children, and a home due to problem drinking. Did the incredible job of quitting...for THREE YEARS...and is now drinking again. It makes me sad.

I am not sure why I am bringing this up...maybe those senarios are my way of excusing my own behaviour...or use them to allow myself to fall back into bad patterns...to keep allowing myself to believe there is no "hope" of beating this demon, this stinking bastard, AL????

I think I need to seriously look at the me I allow myself to be when drinking, or so I can drink, as opposed to the me, I could be...want to be, that I can't be, if I drink.:upset:

Ooops, sorry, all....didn't mean to be so down. An emotional rollercoaster, and a crappy nights sleep last night!

Will check in as I can today, I hope you are all doing well!

love,
K

[Larisa]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

No face-first! Wow, before I found this place, I seriously didn't know if it was possible for me to ever stay sober for a whole week in a row, much less 30 days. Keep thinking I'm dreaming. Very surreal. What a difference a few weeks can make, huh? Not long ago, I was typing "how I quit drinking" into google, desperately looking for something that could help. I had been told repeatedly that AA was the last stop, so I didn't really think there was anything left to try. Wow. I've actually earned one of my red (AA 30 day) chips! Hehe. I've got them hidden away; they make me feel sad and guilty.

I really, really deserve a milkshake.

[wonderworld]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

keeta!! Day 2. Way to go girl. And you know, describing the alcohol abuse in your environment does not constitute an "excuse" in my eyes. It's a reality of your circumstances, a challenge, and something you have to deal with. We all have different life situations, families, jobs, finances, histories, etc. It's ALL part of the picture. I remember being amazed at someone here who was going AF in a life where she was surrounded by drunks. Not alcoholics, but drunks. In her house, her neighbors, her husband. I wondered if I could have stayed AF in those circumstances. I honestly didn't know. And someone else might say that about some of my life circumstances too maybe.

Whatever's out there dogging your tracks - keep bringing it here. We're not scared! Blah!!!

Larisa the Rock Star - LOOK AT YOU!!!!!! Smashing. I think we have a few things in common LOL!!! When I got to MWO in October, trying to catch a month long slip from turning into.....death, it was the prospect of going back to AA that drove me hard! Not that I have anything against it. Not at all. But I myself DID NOT WANT TO GO! And I knew that that would have to be my next stop. If it had to be, it had to be. But please MWO, save me!

So far, so good. Even with a few "day 1's" and a rocky start.....

WW xox