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    Need help for my niece!

    To social workers, psychiatrists, any kind of specialist- I don't know where to begin.

    I am desperately looking for advice to help my niece. She just turned 16 on Thursday and was admitted into a psych ward yesterday. She has severe bulimia, but that's not all. She tested positive for cocaine and pot in her system, she is violent, she smokes cigarettes, drinks, and I think she is getting Xanax too. She is completely self-destructive. She is also totally addicted to her bf who is not a good influence, he loves her so much he does anything she wants so she won't leave him.

    I don't know where to begin to get her help. I think she has oppositional defiant disorder, she hit my brother in the head with a sconce yesterday and he had to call the cops. She destroyed the house, throwing and breaking things and threatened to kill my brother's gf's daughter (who is 15) because she ratted her out about seeing my niece do a drug deal (she got in some strange man's car outside of a Dunkin Donuts and gave him money the night of her b-day after getting cash for her b-day). My brother had to tackle her to keep her away from the girl's room. She has no fear. She vomits in garbage bags and leaves them in her room.

    She was threatening suicide as well.
    They had to drag her into the ambulance as she spit in my brother's face, all while a yard sale was going on right across the street from their house, and they are very close to that family. She needs to go somewhere for help but I have no idea where because I don't know what the root issue is. She lies, steals, and has had behavioral violent issues going on well before the drugs and the bulimia (years and years of trouble with her).

    Anyone that can help, please send me a PM if you don't want to say what your specialty is on the site. Thanks guys, I don't know what to do. Camper
    __________________
    Sunny days, sweeping the, clouds away. On my way, to where the air is sweeeet!!! Can you tell me how to get, how to get to......LOL
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    Sunny days, sweeping the, clouds away. On my way, to where the air is sweeeet!!! Can you tell me how to get, how to get to......LOL

    #2
    Need help for my niece!

    Camper, I am so sorry. I truly have nothing to offer you in a professional sense, but I am here with you spiritually.

    The only professional help you can seek is possibly Eustacia and Lucy Van Pelt.

    I'm here with you my friend.
    Enlightened by MWO

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      #3
      Need help for my niece!

      Treat yourself as she needs to be treated.
      You are so brave to come here and seek help.

      Help will surface for her and you.

      I wish I could offer more at this point. I have a brother that is ill with bi polar and it has been a challange.
      Seek out the ones that have an expertise in this matter.
      You are not alone, ever.

      Take good care of you.
      :notes:Theme2be

      " Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them~everyday begin the task anew".-Saint Francis de Sales

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        #4
        Need help for my niece!

        HC,

        I am so sorry that this is happening. I believe your brother can have her "involuntarily committed" for a period of time, although not legnthly. Don't know NY laws. This will give her system some time to dispell the drugs, etc. and the Psyc team a chance to properly evaluate her. Then it is ODAT as with all addictions and disorders.

        I will PM you, have another idea.

        Love and big hugs, Best

        Kiss for Sophia!
        "It wasn't all I wanted, but all I could stand!":bigwink: Alcohol free since April 8, 2008

        Comment


          #5
          Need help for my niece!

          Happy Camper 68,

          I am not a professional but will offer the experience we have had. My husband's daughter (now 39) demonstrated this exact behavior at 13. You could be writing her story. She was anorexic/bulimic, violent, did drugs, drank, prostituted herself for drug money, stole from her parents, ran away and lived on the streets of NYC, and worse. At 14 they took her to a psychiatrist and he said that they should commit her to a facility. My husband and his then wife said no. They couldn't bear the thought of having her committed. Now bear in mind that this was 25 years ago and drs really didn't have a handle on bi-polar disorder like they do now. She was diagnosed with this condition and they didn't particularly know how to effectively treat her. In retrospect, my husband said that they should have committed her. She desparately needed help.

          We found out many years later that her uncle has sexually abused her. Trading sex for drugs. She felt that is what started her problems. She has since gotten a lot of help and has come out on the other side. She has three children and a relatively happy marriage. I know she still suffers from eating issues (at least that's what I think) and she still takes lithium for her bi-polar. If she doesn't her whole life goes to s**t.

          My advice is to get her into a medical facility and if her father has to commit her he should do it. It is for her own good. Yes, she will say that she hates them and she will be violent.
          But she needs help and obviously can't live at home. Also, she needs to get away from her boyfriend. It won't be pretty and it will cause much heartache but if it saves her life it will be worth it.

          I hope this helps. I wish you well. Gabby.
          Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.

          Comment


            #6
            Need help for my niece!

            I'm sorry for her and the family. At early and mid 20's my neice was bullemic, depressed and alcoholic. Borderline suicidal but not violent. She eventually checked into a place in Baltimore MD for eating disorders and was also put on anti-depressant (wellbutrin I believe). She is fully recovered. I agree that it may depend on state law. Your niece is a minor. He parents hold responsibility for what damage she may do to others. Perhaps they could call department of social services for advice? A psych facility for advice on involuntary admission (particularly based on her violent nature at present). I hope the best for all involved.
            sigpic
            Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

            Comment


              #7
              Need help for my niece!

              I'm so sorry camper. I'm not a professional in this area but have family members with mental health issues. One filed charges of assault in desperation and the judge ordered psych treatment. Involuntary commitment can usually be obtained for danger to self or others, but max most places is 3-4 days. Does allow time for proper evaluation. Will be thinking of you.

              Comment


                #8
                Need help for my niece!

                Yes,
                My niece will only be in this psych ward for 72 hours, I think she gets out tomorrow. She was admitted to an eating disorders clinic for about 8 days about a month ago and they released her because she had gained enough weight. She went through the motions, got out, and is about 15lbs thinner now than when she was released a month ago.
                I know she needs to be committed, I just don't know where. I have been online looking for places but his insurance sucks and not sure where she can go.

                Someone has asked if she was violent before the drugs and bulimia, answer is yes. She could be bipolar but she seems to have control over the moods. She can be very phony and sweet, and seems to save all her rage for when she is home with her father. Basically anytime she is disciplined in any way or doesn't get what she wants, she goes bonkers. She has a sense of entitlement that is insane. If he grounds her, she walks out the door and tells him to go f himself. No respect.

                Some of these places are so scary though, there's abuse and stuff. I want her to get what she needs without further damage. She's been through a lot in her life, her mother is a lunatic (they are divorced but she spends too much time with her mother). her mother also has bulimia and a psycho temper and is a recovering alcoholic (AA for 6 years I think). She's a "dry" drunk though, something isn't wired right with her either.
                Sunny days, sweeping the, clouds away. On my way, to where the air is sweeeet!!! Can you tell me how to get, how to get to......LOL

                Comment


                  #9
                  Need help for my niece!

                  Happy

                  Where is this niece? What state-NY? She can only be held 72 hours involuntariy to be evaluated as to risk to self or others. However, as a minor, I believe she can be kept longer in a treatment facility if her parents decide to do this. She definately needs inpatient treatment, in my opinion. There are facilities that are "dual-diagnosis", meaning they will treat addiction and other "co-morbid" psychological/psychiatric issues. I believe that is what she needs. A few days of forced feeding to make her gain weight is a waste of time. She needs long term.

                  If you want me to do some investigating as to specific treatment facilities, I am happy to. Just let me know where she is.

                  Call me if you want!!!

                  I am so sorry to hear this!!

                  Beth
                  formerly known as bak310

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Need help for my niece!

                    Camper not much help here from me, but I just want you to know I am a good listener so keep posting I am here for you.


                    Sammys

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Need help for my niece!

                      My prayers are with you and your family Camp.


                      Michaela
                      :beach: "You can't go uphill thinking downhill thoughts"
                      AF since 10/11/2008

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Need help for my niece!

                        Happy,
                        I have read this 3-4 times today. I have no words of wisdom, but wanted to say I am thinking of you all....
                        Forever loved, forever missed Papa Bear

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                          #13
                          Need help for my niece!

                          Happy, I too have read this several times, wondering what the right thing to say is. All I can think is that this poor young woman is in serious trouble. I truly hope that she recieves, serious professional help to deal with all of these critical issues, all of which are potentially life threating. I am sending you strength and wisdom.

                          XXX Kate
                          A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes~Cinderella

                          AF 12/6/2007

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