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**cymru** · December 17, 2008, 06:14 AM

Guys have you lost your sex thing what do you do after 17 years

Ive only been with my partner for 5 years, but our sex life is o.k at the mo! My mum and dad have been married for nearly 50 years, so ill ask them!!!

**Captnjack** · December 17, 2008, 06:21 AM

Guys have you lost your sex thing what do you do after 17 years

haaaaaaaa Cy dont ask them ya loon you crack me up!~!!!!! I gotta mate who thinks people should not be permitted to have relations after the age of 48 dont ask me why he chose 48

**summer_holiday** · December 17, 2008, 09:02 AM

Guys have you lost your sex thing what do you do after 17 years

Sorry to hear that cap! I am a girl so hope you don't mind me butting in! It sounds to me like you are asking whether it's ok to NOT want to be intimate anymore? If you are both happy not to then that's fine! It's when one or the other feels the need and it's not forthcoming that there could be a problem. I know you said 'i'm sure she feels the same' but does she really? You have to ask her honestly. Though, i know how difficult that can be! If there have been no significant changes in her behaviour, and she seems happy then she probably is!!! Anyway, a good old cuddle up on the sofa is sometimes more intimate anyway, and shows a nice kind of togetherness. good luck! summer x

**rubywillow** · December 17, 2008, 09:05 AM

Guys have you lost your sex thing what do you do after 17 years

Cap, I'm not a guy, but I met my man 40 years ago. There are, ahem, dry spells, but when it rains, well, Katie bar the door!! Don't know if you're interested in counselling, experimenting, 'toys', etc, but AL takes away a lot from our libido. Sobriety takes a while, but gives it back. What I'm trying to say in a PG way is that after all this time, things may be less frequent, but if it was more intense I don't think we could live thru it! If you want intimacy, you can rekindle it. It depends on so many things - love, respect, passion. Our bodies change so much, but our minds and souls don't age. Believe it or not, Hubs still gets jealous on a regular basis. Kinda nice now!

**IAD** · December 17, 2008, 09:06 AM

Guys have you lost your sex thing what do you do after 17 years

Two words Capt'n : " Role Play " Ha! IAD.

**summer_holiday** · December 17, 2008, 09:08 AM

Guys have you lost your sex thing what do you do after 17 years

I nearly wet myself laughing at that pic! x

**gabby** · December 17, 2008, 09:32 AM

Guys have you lost your sex thing what do you do after 17 years

I am very sorry. My worry is huge in this area. I am divorced and I am concerned that I will never find a intimately satisfying relationship. I think that you - CaptJ could be normal (in this area) and men tend to lose their sex drive as they age and then there are women like me that this is a bummer for. I think most women hormonally hit their sexual prime about the same age men lose theirs. So......what do we do? There are a lot of divorces and affairs. Maybe it isnt so ok with your wife after all? I am not trying to stir up a spousal burr here but really now...sex is very important in a relationship.

Where is Dr Ruth when you need her? Oh....how about Simey....

**summer_holiday** · December 17, 2008, 09:41 AM

Guys have you lost your sex thing what do you do after 17 years

Hi Gabby and sorry to hear that you too are having problems....but I have to disagree! Sex is only important when one or the other (or both) is suffering. If both parties are ok without then that's fine, surely? summer x

**gabby** · December 17, 2008, 09:50 AM

Guys have you lost your sex thing what do you do after 17 years

summer....well ya.....two no's are a deffo no. LOL

**IAD** · December 17, 2008, 09:54 AM

Guys have you lost your sex thing what do you do after 17 years

Dr. Frued might say.......it's some sort of fixation, ( What the hell did he know he lived with his daughter all his life....weird relationship ! ) If you truly love each other you'll find a way to be happy. IAD.

**summer_holiday** · December 17, 2008, 09:57 AM

Guys have you lost your sex thing what do you do after 17 years

ha ha indeed! How long have you been divorced? Should we start a new thread lol? Don't want to hijack caps postings!! Take care, summer x

**IAD** · December 17, 2008, 10:01 AM

Guys have you lost your sex thing what do you do after 17 years

Summer, Divorced once.......My second was a keeper, 22 yrs. so far ! ha! She stays away from me, I quess that's why it's worked all these years ! Ha! LOL IAD.

**summer_holiday** · December 17, 2008, 10:07 AM

Guys have you lost your sex thing what do you do after 17 years

oh iad you are awful lol!!! I am 36 been together since i was a teeny baby of 20. Sometimes i wish he WOULD stay away from me ha ha!!! Only joking, of course.....!

**Tiresias** · December 17, 2008, 10:25 AM

Guys have you lost your sex thing what do you do after 17 years

Cap I'm wondering if you are asking about this in relation to drinking days vs. AF time?

Was or is there a difference? In other words was there more, well, action so to speak when you drank? Are you worried the switch has permanently been turned off?

That was the case with me for a long while. Periods of AF tended to shut me down emotionally on that level, it seemed. I'm not really sure why, unless drinking provided the tearing down of inhibitions or something for too many years.

I have heard that there are periods of adjustment and ... re-learning or experiencing things ... sober vs. sloshed. It just seemed easier or something to be wildman tarzan when drinking, I think.

Just some thoughts.

I do think it's not unusual to have swings (dry spells and roller coasters) with respect to such things.

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