Are you a secret drinker or out in the open?

[ready2change]

Hey everyone....I have pondered this question in my head before and wondered which grass is greener?

I for one am "out in the open". The only time I hide my booze is when I don't want to share with hubby:H. I've never really gotten into any trouble drinking...mostly in my head. But I do notice things changing since I have well "matured" and know that drinking is no longer for me. I'm still working on convincing my brain, but that's another thread.

My husband can be a "closet" drinker if he thinks it will be a problem between us. I personally have never understood that, I mean, when he does that I ALWAYS know. So if your a drinker who "hides, sneaks" your drinks, do you really think others, especially spouses don't know?

And if your a "secret" drinker, how do you think your life would be different if you could drink out in the open? I know for me, I sometimes fantasize what it would be like if I had to sneak my drinks. Would I drink less because it's too much trouble?

And if your a "secret" drinker, do you think you would drink more if you spouse or significant other drank too and you could drink anytime you wanted?

Thanks for your replies...this should be interesting.

R2C

[hart]

Are you a secret drinker or out in the open?

(((R2C)))

I am an out in the open drinker. But my mother was a "closet" drinker. She knew I knew she was drinking and that it hurt me lots, she was the type to tell too many personal things to a child and become suicidal at times, so she knew I hated her drinking.

I don't know why she hid it, funnily enuf she didn't drive so when I was old enuf to drive I had to drive her to the liquor store.....

I think denial is a big part of being an alcoholic.....

[Heavenly]

Are you a secret drinker or out in the open?

Depends in what way you mean ?

I used to drink only at home ... none of my friends thought or knew I had a problem

My immediate family (only husband and kids) knew I did ...

[peacenik]

Are you a secret drinker or out in the open?

i hid it.
my husband made it clear early on that he didn't like me drinking. (he is a physician who works with a population that has huge problems with alcohol) so i learned to hide it from him. the sad thing is i was drunk so often that he didn't even realize when i was drunk. i could drink 2 bottles of wine and he wouldn't even ask if i was drunk. the sad thing is, my 10 year old daughter knew. she knew that i hid my wine out on the porch and everytime i went out there, i'm sure she knew what i was up to. about 2 years ago i started to want to get sober and confessed to my husband how much i was drinking and he couldn't believe that he didn't realize. i must be a great actor to be able to pull the wool over the eyes of a dr. with alot of experience with alcoholics. just goes to show how far we go to get our fixes.

oy vey

[keeta]

Are you a secret drinker or out in the open?

open drinker.

Like you ready2, the only time I ever hid beer was when I didn't want to share and was running out.:H When my hubby and I were down to the last 6 beer, the thought of having only three left for me to drink literally made me panic, so I would stash two, and end up drinking 3 of the "remaining" 4 we had left, and secretly open the other 2.

Gads that sounds pathetic to say out loud.

[BecomingMeAtLast]

Are you a secret drinker or out in the open?

Totally out in the open drinker, both publicly and at home. I don't get drunk publicly anymore but still drink in public. I only get drunk at home now and am not proud of that at all. But, I am much better than I was a year ago, without MWO.

[Evie.Lou]

Are you a secret drinker or out in the open?

I have gone thru times of being both...Hidden and public.
I think the times that i tried to hide it where much more painful,for me, than when i was out in the open...mostly because i rarely, if ever got falling down drunk. I do know that i said things while drinking that i would never have said when sober and i am truly ashamed for hurting people with my inconsiderateness.

[bestlifeldms]

Are you a secret drinker or out in the open?

I was like Heavenly. Plus my Dad and a couple of close friends knew. Used to drink and dial, unfortunately. Thought is was a secret, but it bacame obvious, according to my family, after just a couple of drinks. Total personality change.

[ready2change]

Are you a secret drinker or out in the open?

Thanks for all the replies, but I still have to ask (cause I wonder for myself), if you drink "in the open", meaning your spouse/significant other either drinks as well or doesn't care, do you think you would drink less if you had to hide it?

Conversely, if you "hide it" from them, do you think you would drink more or less if you drank openly in front of them?

Heavenly, I mostly meant in the home, because that is where I am hearing most of the stories of hiding stashes.

Peacenik...interesting that your husband didn't know? Even though my hubby drinks alot, and gets drunk, he doesn't have much of a personality change, but I can smell it a mile away...perhaps I have a sensitive nose?

I would imagine that perhaps there is a bit more guilt when hiding our drinking, as the deception is just one more aspect of our drinking. Although we do decieve ourselves anyways quite possibly when we think we don't have a problem, if in fact we really do.

Hmm..this is interesting.

[startingover]

Are you a secret drinker or out in the open?

This is interesting...
I would drink openly with hubby except if I was feeling guilty about drinking too much or drinking in the morning...then I would sneak drinks. Sometimes, if I finished a bottle or considered I had drunk too much, then I would hide the evidence or so I thought...
When I was drinking, my hubby would drink much more than he does now...now he only drinks once or twice a week thankfully, and not very much. Well, not as much as he did when I was packing it away on a daily basis.
I thought I hid it pretty well from most others, except on the times when I went totally over the top when out...then I used the it "happens to us all sometimes" excuse...

[bestlifeldms]

Are you a secret drinker or out in the open?

Ready,

It's intersting that you asked this question. My son and I have had conversations about this very thing. Since my husband was so openly opposed to my drinking, I used to "closet drink", as they say. As I posted, it became apparent immediately, to those who knew and lived with me. My husband became more and more verbal about his disapproval, and I know, now that I am thinking with a non-alcohol soaked brain, that he was worried for me. Because of my husband adament negativity toward alcohol, our kids didn't drink openly at home either. My son agrees that, because of the need to be so secretive about having a drink, we would drink as much as we could as fast as we could, so as not to be found out. This created a viscious cycle. And it seems really rediculous, when I write it here. But, I think I drank more because I couldn't be open and casual about it.

[Accountable for Me]

Are you a secret drinker or out in the open?

I started out in the open.... going to clubs on the weekends; with friends; with family.

After a couple of years I started to drink alone at home.

Then when I got into a relationship; I would start hiding it.

Sometimes I would hide it and couldn't find where I hid it!

Then I was drinking alone and I started to phone or email people. That is when everyone knew I had entered the H*ll of alcoholism.

[cymru]

Are you a secret drinker or out in the open?

I have a slightly different drinking pattern as i am in a long term relationship, have a child, but live alone. I will not drink when my partner or daughter are here. Ever anymore, but when i am alone i will pack it away as best i can. Not all of the time, but when the urges get the better of me.
I do hide bottles though if i know that my partner is coming over the next day. Sometimes i forget hiding them and find them days/ weeks later....and then i sigh....

[ready2change]

Are you a secret drinker or out in the open?

I know for me I suppose I would drink more if I had to hide it, part of my defiant nature....

Which possibly makes it so difficult to quit completely...my defiant side (call it AL) tells me it's okay to drink just this time. I can quit later. How lame is that.

[keeta]

Are you a secret drinker or out in the open?

ready2,
in answer to the second half of your question (sorry I missed it the first time), maybe in the past, when alcohol didn't mess me up so much, I might have drank more if I felt I had to hide it, simply to get "as much booze in me" as I could when the opportunity arrises.
Sadly, my drinking has escalted to the point that once I start, I can't seem to stop...one becomes pass out, and my mood deteriorates the drunker I get. So now, I don't think I could hide that fact I had been drinking, even if I hide the bottle.