My Way Out Vs. AA

[Wannabsober]

I found the MYO program about 8 months ago. Still struggling with my drinking. I am taking Topamax which just went generic THANK GOD because I believe it helps a lot with the craving. I am trying to work the program. I have hypno CD's which I dig, but not sure I believe in it just yet. and have supps that I take when I remember. So much it is soooo time consuming for a busy mom. I am recently divorced. This sobriety thing just takes soooo much effort through the MYO program although I really like the concept!
It worked great for me for a while. Fell off, and am struggling to get back on. lack motivation I guess.

My therapist suggests AA, "the only proven way for people to recover from alcoholism". I told her about this site but she thinks it lacks a lot of support, mainly that I must log in when I am willing... and not really being accountable to anyone unless I feel like it. No one really knows me in real life.

So, I am wondering... should I hop on the AA bandwagon? I am so afraid. I don't want to be an "AA" member. ...the "i can never drink again" alcoholic.... but I guess that is my addiction talking. I also can see that the MYO program in a way lures people here by making you believe you CAN moderate. yes I know some people can but most CAN NOT. That for a true alcoholic is a hard one to swallow.

That is why I am here. I want to moderate. I love my wine. I want to drink my wine in moderation. I want to be normal. I want to keep my wine and drink it like normal people do.

is that a normal thought process? do NORMAL people feel that way about wine? probably not. Maybe I should give AA a try, your thoughts? I am scared.

[Marshy]

My Way Out Vs. AA

Hi whosyourmama,

It doesn't matter if it's MWO, AA, or dancing naked in the moonlight - the important thing is to find something that works for YOU. Different things work for different people.

I think a lot of people come here wanting to moderate and a lot of people find out that they can't, but a lot also come here knowing they can't moderate (me included) and have to abstain. Either way, there are daily/weekly support threads where you can talk to people with the same goals and get some ideas about how to move forward.

As for AA, I know it seems like a big scary thing until you try it, and then it's just a bunch of people who also want to stop drinking. You don't sign up to anything or sign your life away. You can just try it and see what it's like. (There's an AA thread in the monthly abstinence section that will give you an idea of what happens in meetings).

It sounds like you're a bit stuck but most motivated to try moderation. Do you have a plan of how to go about doing that? What's next?

[Popeye]

My Way Out Vs. AA

Hi whosyourmama,
Marshy got it right I think. It's whatever you need to do to make what you want to happen, happen.
Going to AA for the first time is always nerve-racking, but like most things, it's never as scary as you think it's going to be, and once you get comfortable with being there and meet a few people, some of whom will be just like you, the nerves fall away and it's just another group of people trying to better themselves. When you're there you don't have to go the whole hog. They exist to help people stop drinking. You can take from it whatever you need. For the moment, I go and listen with an open mind to what the good people there tell me. I'm not into their program yet and I don't know if I will, though there are times when I want to take the leap and others when I just want to listen from the side-lines.
Good luck to you, whatever you decide to do.

[Kayla]

My Way Out Vs. AA

Hi Whosyourmama
Your post hit a chord with me because I really relate. I got into recovery about 8 years ago - which kicked off with 12-step exposure, being the dominant treatment approach. Since then - I have tried everything under the sun looking for a way to either deal with addiction and quit - or drink and pretend I can do it moderately .. I always can ... for a little while .. but sooner or later it gets too much. I head over the edge. I now know that I really can't moderate and that my health is seriously on the line.

This time I'm shooting for a multi-pronged approach to sustained sobriety, and have had some good help from people over in the mthly abstinence thread. Perhaps you need a combo. I do. So many of AAs philosophies are hard for me to buy, but I am absolutely willing to add them to my arsenal at this point - along with this great place and program, some SMART recovery strategies (that I learnt last year) - mindfulness - supps - walking - eating well - drinking water - working on relaxation to calm the anxiety - inner stuff to quell the depression demons ... etc etc ... and whatever else I can learn from people who are actually managing to do the deed - and stay sober. I hear you - it does take time, but we can fine-tune it as we go along. If drinking could become routine, then I believe that this can too.

Having been in and out of AA meetings through the years I do think it's possible to hone in on aspects of the program that work for you and work with those. It's a start. Like Pop and Marshy said, just listen, and stay focused on the fact that at the end of the day, the people in the room all have the same objective - they need help with their drinking. That's us.

This is a good debate. I've had some serious concerns and issues with AA in the past but I'm finally willing to suspend them and concede. I want to stop drinking. Period. Whatever can help me with that, I''m ready to shut-up and listen.

Absolute best of luck. Stay with us.

[Wannabsober]

My Way Out Vs. AA

It's a scary thing. Such a personal issue to deal with in a group setting I think that is what is most unappealing to me about AA. I want to deal with this myself. Only thing is I am not sure I can.

I think I will try it tonight. That is if I don't lose the motivation by then.

Why is it that in the morning you feel such a drive to quit? No desire to drink and wonder why I even drink at all? today will be the day. I'm not hungover just regretting all the wine I consumed and all the calories, plus whatever snacks the wine led me to believe were ok to indulge in. But sure enough I know that around 2 pm that strong will I feel at this moment will start to fade. My brain figuring out any excuse to make it ok.

[gyco]

My Way Out Vs. AA

hi who, almost sounds Like the grinch tht stole christmas,hahaha,i dont no how old you are or if it matters,you have to be comfortable theres a lot of pro s and cons with either ,i bumped into a fella from aa today,reflections i call it,great guy 35 years sobriety,he knows when im challenged,i beleive in your heart not the brain,youll find a way tht suits you,doesnt matter wHat we think,its only are opinion,bin down a bleek road,but ive also been down a ????? QUESTIONABLE ROAD, GYCO got to keep talking

[gyco]

My Way Out Vs. AA

opps i forgot to say,are you a reader,even in AA it states its not for all,just like mwo,notice the letters my way out

[cacky]

My Way Out Vs. AA

Who, love your name

Marshy, i think your answer is absolutely right especially "dancing naked in the moonlight" lol

Anyway, i love going to AA meetings (now) at first it was scary. Now it is like meeting up with old friends. There are drawbacks. Alot of drama. Also there are alot of people that stay out because they are embarrased to come back to their AA friends and tell them.

What i like about MYO is that there is some additional support. I may drink but i dont drive now because i find myself wanting to talk to people on line on MYO. My opinion is use whatever resources you can. Supplements; medication (im waiting on balcofen), meditation, talk everything and anything.

Goodluck

[Lavande]

My Way Out Vs. AA

Hello whos,

Sounds like you have all the tools you need - now you just need to make the commitment to quit.

Regardless of the way you choose to go, AA or MWO or a combination of both, it is a lot of work and you have to do it. Choose to not drink for one day, then another, then another. You mentioned that you are a recently divorced, busy Mom, that sounds like plenty of motivation to me. Your child(ren) are depending on you, you need to take care of yourself first so that you can be available for them.

You found MWO 8 months ago and had success then, you can do it again. Just make the commitment and jump back on board with us. Stay close, check in frequently, there is plently of support to be had.

Wishing you peace & great success.
Lavande

[livingfree]

My Way Out Vs. AA

Who

Who -

Great step to really be asking yourself "what" is right for you. The point there is SELF responsibility. Without that - you will be an "alcoholic" weather or not you quit drinking.

This is one of the problems I have with AA. (I have about a thousand - but this is a big one). I find it interesting that the counselor said AA is the way to "recover" when AA it's self says you will never "really" recover .. you will just stop drinking one day at a time. That is not recovery. You will just be waiting to drink again. They also say that if you say you are cured ... you are in denial.

I just have a problem with this concept. If you stop eating carrots because you are allergic to them and you know you could die from a reaction to them - are you cured from that possibility if you never ever eat carrots? YES! Don't eat carrots! Ever. and never change your mind!

I know AA says take what you want and leave the rest ... but that is not what they really practice. Walk in a AA meeting and tell them you are now cured ,,, and they will tell you you are in denial. So what part of "take it or leave it" applies?

I know it is not popular to post this - but I honestly have seen people become a slave to AA meetings. AA becomes the new addiction, as if someone couldn't stay "on the wagon" without the meetings.

You seem like a very wise person. Just trust yourself to"trust yourself". Put the "drink" down and say to yourself ..." I will never drink alcohol again, and I will not change my mind. Ever." I'm not saying it's easy. At first you have to focus on this fact every moment. Then, over time - you will forget for long periods that you struggled with it.

I logged on here a year and a half ago scared to death. I lurked for a couple of weeks and then decided to do the program. I did it faithfully for the 6 weeks, then started to modify supplements etc. a little here and there. You HAVE to do what works for you in the end. If you feel strongly about AA - give it a try - but don't lose heart if it isn't anymore effective than any other program. Because the facts really are .. you need to decide "I will never ever drink again ... and I will not change my mind." If you want to moderate - that is a much more difficult task than quitting. You can discover that here on these boards, however there are some faithful modders. It just takes a lot more work IMO. I'm all about easy ... and for me just not drinking is easier. Then I never have to count drinks, days, etc. Plus I just feel FANTASTIC being clean and clear.

The very best to you - you can do it

Liv:l

[Wannabsober]

My Way Out Vs. AA

Thanks all for your responses.

Liv - thanks for your insight. I agree and have heard similar stories. I like to think positively and I don't like to call my self an alcoholic and constantly remind myself that I am weak or sick. What I do want is to stop drinking. I want to be strong. A year from now I want to be able to say I used to abuse alcohol and I choose not to drink because my brain is wired to overdo it.

I was going to try an AA meeting last night but I didn't go because I didn't feel like it. But I didn't drink. I had done my supps yesterday and didn't feel like drinking. no cravings so I felt good and just went to bed early. That's another thing, I don't want to become dependent on meetings for my sobriety, because I know I will resent going and then well if I don't go, have I dropped out?... can you see this leading to an excuse to drink?

That said, I have never tried AA so I can't really judge I don't really know what goes on there I am basing it on assumptions from what I have heard and read on their website.

[brittzak]

My Way Out Vs. AA

No matter what avenue you chose to fight the fight with...the work comes from within you. I use both...MWO and AA. AND I do take what I want from AA and leave what I dont need. Meeting atmospheres are different. I have been to some and never went back and been to some I loved. I find the same here...I love some members to death...some I avoid their posts cause I don't usually find them encouraging. You will find your avenue....whatever it is, the main objective is a sober you, so who cares how you get there. Read around the boards...you will see that many of us tweek the program and use a combo of methods to get and stay sober.

[ready2change]

My Way Out Vs. AA

Dear Who,
I hope you find your way out...I truly do. I'm still looking for mine, although with a huge arsenal from which to tap into, I KNOW I will succeed.

My personal arsenal includes reading and attending (not often, only when I am able) AA meetings. Please check out the weekly AA thread and get it straight from people who have actually attended AA meetings and not just heard horror stories from others. Please, make up your own mind. No one can make you go to a meeting, or keep going. That is up to you. But it is impossible to judge something you have never experienced before.

In my humble opinion, it is very few of us who can just make up our mind to stop drinking and do it, if it were that simple, we wouldn't need sites like this or AA. So cudos to those who can just do it on their own, but cudos to those of us who use whatever it takes to continue on our quest for sobriety. All the best to you.

R2C

[brittzak]

My Way Out Vs. AA

I have to second what Ready has said here...CUDOS to those with that kind of willpower, but not all people are that strong. It doesn't make us any less of a person, but some of us require more help than others. If I could have put it down and walked away...I don't think I would have ever abused it in the first place. Just my 2 cents...

[cowgal]

My Way Out Vs. AA

both work for me..........

I use both, and I am, like on guy in AA said to me a few weeks ago (esp. since this is such a small town) I am a member now, like it or not............there is no escape...............I have been in and out since about 2002, but I think AA is supportive, BUT I really think this (MWO) is more anonymous than AA ever could be, I run into people all over town who know I go to meetings, so not much for that anonymity, but I have never had someone say, "I know you from AA"...............so I guess it is anonymous..............anyway, sorry to babble, just getting ready for oral surgery and I babble when I am nervous, and that I am!!!

Just my 2 cents worth!

love,

MA