Just Wondering

[big mo]

:nutso:Hi , I was reading threads and replys and i am wondering , I have been reading about people who do 30 days AF , they then go on to do 60 or 90 days AF , has anyone went on to drink in mod and been able to control it . I am speaking for my self and I dont think , in fact I am certain I could not do it . I guess this is my problem and again I am speaking about my own experiance but even if I drink I could'nt go to a bar and have 2 - 3 beers or vodkas , I really don't see the point , If I drink I do it to get drunk and change me , I drink 6 days a week and am starting out again today total AF as I have tried to control it before even after several weeks AF I have thought I can control it but always end up back to 6-7 nights a week a bottle of vodka each time . Alcohol has been a big part of my life for so long I am scared for the future , what will I do on friday or saturday night , summer bbq's and no drink , I guess I am thinking ahead again instead of getting today sorted and thats another of my faults . Sorry if I am not making sense but as I said I am starting AF again and trying to see where i went wrong before so I can have a plan to avoid drinking .

[tlrgs]

Just Wondering

for me it leads to one too many i cant comtrol it after that ..
i love al way too much to try mods ..
af for now 20 months and i have my life back ..
thats all i can say ..
the rest is up to you ..

stay strong and keep thinking positive

[startingover]

Just Wondering

Yep, I second what Mr T says.
I cannot see the point in modding either. Not for me. For some it works. But I think its the minority.
I have tried time and time again, I always end up worse than when I started.
Its amazing how your mind changes when its free of alcohol for a time tho.
You will find other stuff to occupy your time.
Good luck, you can do thisl

[brittzak]

Just Wondering

I tried to mods...about 10 times...you know why 10 times right? Cause I got drunk all 10 times. There are a few successful modders here. I THINK the majority have found we had to give it up.

[Cinders]

Just Wondering

Big Mo,

I am one of those who simply put cannot drink. One drink leads to all the drinks. Period.

I have gone 30 days several times and then wham, start drinking and back to miserable in no time.

I do know there are many on here who can moderate. I believe it is simple chemistry. If you have drank enough to change your brain chemistry regarding receptors, etc, you have "become a pickle" as they say in AA. We all know you can't turn a pickle back into a cucumber.

If you are lucky enough to try to slow down before you have done these major changes, moderation would be possible.

I do know several people on here have quit for years, not just days, and when they went back to drinking, they were quickly right back in the throes of the addiction.

So, if you feel like you can't moderate, you are probably right. The only "cure" is to quit.

I am in the same boat but have finally realized it and am grateful for each and every sober day I manage.

Good luck to you and glad you are here.

Cindi

[42cat]

Just Wondering

I know what you mean by thoughts like ... "What will I do with my time if I'm not drinking?" ... "Will I be bored? ... "What will 'I' be like?" ... "Will there be any joy in my life?" The not-knowing is sometimes so difficult. I didn't know until I gave it a shot. Turns out, after the week of withdrawals, I'm still "me" -- but better, smarter, energetic, healthier. I thought I'd be different .. I wouldn't enjoy the things that I enjoyed while drinking ... but I still do. It's pretty cool. You will LOVE the sober you .. You just have to get there and keep it going for awhile. They say 21 days to create a new habit ... not sure if that's true, but every day gets easier for me.

The key for me, so far (only 2 weeks sober at this point, so I'm no expert) is changing my routine, and sticking to my new plan. I normally drank all day long, so I had to find stuff to do instead of hit the bottle.

If evenings are your problem times, maybe try what I did. Think of each hour that you have to get through, and make a plan for it. Me, I start with preparing dinner, usually with a drink of lemon water or tea with me. (I still have a glass/cup of something going all day long - it's just no longer alcohol.) ... Then, after supper, I clean up (usually I'd shove it aside and worry about it later), and then I put my sneakers on and go for a walk. I thought walking would be boring, but it gets the heart pumping and that feels great, plus it clears my mind, gives me time to think, and I have fun "observing" the people. Plus I'm losing weight! Then, when I come home, I'll haul out the newspaper puzzle page and do the crossword, sudoku, and cryptoquote .. and I usually have a hot chamomile tea with it, with a squeeze of lemon. Then, if I'm in the mood, a little snack.

By the time I've finished my evening "routine", it's about 8:30 or 9:00'ish. My usual bed time is 10:00 (I get up at 5:30.) I gave up rum and vodka two weeks ago, but I have allowed myselfa beer (and never more than two) from time to time .. BUT I have a STRICT rule in this regard: IF I allow a beer, I can't have it until 9:00 p.m. (it was 8:30, but that seemed too early for my "plan"). Sometimes when 9:00 rolls around, I'm not in the mood. Other times, I'd love a cold one.

The "beer" part of my plan might not work for someone who might end up staying up and drinking the whole case. I have no option .. I have to go to bed at 10:00, so it works for me.

Hang tough and keep on fighting .. You can do this!

[DeeBee]

Just Wondering

Hi Big Mo,
For some, (being the minoritoty) it is possible to drink moderately.
I originally did 30 days AF and then another 30 as I felt unfomfortable and unsure as to what my goal would be. I have since been drinking moderately for the last year, with more 30 days thrown in.
It has it's ups and down. Choosing the mod route is not always the easy route.
I think everyone has at some point in their recover wondered whether it was possible for them to try and mod -- the trick is to abstain straight away if mod does not work.

Strength to you on your journey!