Nora's journey

[Choochie]

Nora's journey

Nora, thinking about you. My mom went through similar stuff with my brother. I know it's not easy. Sending you strength.

Choochie:l

[NoraC]

Nora's journey

12-2-10

First of all - THANK YOU ALL FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!!!! It really helps knowing that you are here and I can talk to you without being judged. Thank you all so very much.

Today is my anniversary. 33 years. Happy anniversary to me.

Now for the bad news.......My best friend in the world, my soul sister, tried to commit suicide. It absolutely breaks my heart. I love her and want to be there for her. But, we live far apart and I can't go be with her. Scott asked me if I could fly out there but I just can't. She had her stomach pumped. Everyone thinks it is an accident......that she screwed up & took to many pills. But, I know the truth. Even her husband doesn't know the truth. I have debated about calling him & trying to talk to him. But, the truth is.....he has to know in his heart and he is just not dealing with it. She told me that he just can't deal with things & just lets it go. I have seen first hand how he does that. So, I think she is right. She told me that even if I would tell, she would just deny it. We have talked a lot tonight and things are better right now. I love her so much.

I went out with my niece last night & had quite a few margaritas. It didn't solve any of my problems though. Obviously. Still playing everything back in my head regarding my son and my friend. Casey went to AA yesterday and talked to the woman that runs that meeting. I think it helped. I talked to him about counseling again. He might talk to her - she is a counselor. I told him that I am here for him and will help him any way I can. But, that it has to be constructive. No more of this. I will help him get help. My niece is talking to him too. That is good.

I want so badly to take care of everyone. I need to take care of me so that I am able to do that. Drinking is not the answer.

Thank you all for being here. I would be in a much worse place right now if I didn't have your support. :h

[betty boop]

Nora's journey

Nora sweetie ...............

I am soooo sorry about all of this, words fail me!!!

But you are right, you need to take care of you!!! .........:l:h:l

Love & Hugs, BB xxxx

[NoraC]

Nora's journey

Thanks BB. I am just feeling so overwhelmed right now. Good thing the kids are here - keeping me busy.

[mama bear]

Nora's journey

Nora I have been wondering about your friend that had the HORRIBLE health scare earlier in the year. You used to talk about her so much....is this the same friend?? I am so sorry, and I think you SHOULD tell her hubs, cause if she tries again, and she might, you would never forgive yourself. Does she have kids you can call???? This is a cry for help from her..
and you know I am gonna say it.....be careful with the booze my friend...
love you so much
Jan

[NoraC]

Nora's journey

12-7-10

Life has thrown a few curve-balls lately. Thank goodness that I'm taking anti-depressants. :H I was really beginning to get down, down....but I am sort of leveling out now. I have so much to be grateful for and I am going to try to think of those things. Having Tigger here for a trip has been absolutely wonderful. We have several more adventures planned with him.
Now to think of things in a positive light........
Casey has a Final on the day that he had to appear in court. The positive side is that he called the court today and he can go in this Thursday instead. He also called his DUI lawyer today and told them about the public drunkenness charge. I'm sure it is going to affect his sentencing on the DUI - but the lawyer didn't immediately start saying that it was a big problem. We are still really worried of course. But, a day at a time.
Still extremely worried about my friend. Positive side is that she is alive and didn't succeed. But, very concerned about her wellbeing.
Another positive - my niece & the kids are here. My great niece is going to celebrate her 11th birthday tomorrow with us! Not so great - their diplomatic passports have been lost at the embassy in Washington DC. So, my nieces husband is still stuck in Italy. Really hoping that things work out so that they are able to be together for Christmas.
I should get back on the Antabuse. I haven't done that yet. I am not on a bender so that is a positive. But, I want to stop completely again.
Positive - very loving family, a roof over our heads, food to eat.
Positive - I have found this site and have met so many wonderful people. I am in a much better place than I was before I joined here. I am working on becoming a better person.
I just need to keep focusing on the positive. Take things a step at a time and don't overwhelm myself.

[betty boop]

Nora's journey

Hiya Nora,

Well done for finding the positives when things appear to be very rough!! I really like that approach ............

Your travels with Tigger are great!! I really will seek you out next time we come over!!!!!

Love & Hugs, BB xxx

[Mish]

Nora's journey

Oh Nora, my poor wee lamb. I only just caught up on your thread and it's just breaking my heart that I wasn't here to offer you support. What a horrible time you are having. Three years ago I had a similar situation with my youngest and I thought I was going to die it hurt so much. It still isn't great, but I took the firm stand for the first time in her life and stepped back. She knows I love her and our relationship is still wonderful, but she is also aware that while she is behaving in a way that goes against our values, the only thing I can give her is unconditional love. She would not expect anything else of me. It has been the hardest thing I have ever done, but I still believe she will return to the way of life she knows is right. She is a wonderful girl, warm, loving, compassionate, funny and talented and a wonderful mother in the way she teaches her children, except by her own example. My grandchildren are exposed to a way of life that, if I dwelt on it, would crush my spirit. I have to believe that the values that I taught her when she was little will overcome the indulgent lifestyle she is living. Sometimes she rings me and cries and the hardest thing is not to rush to her aid and rescue her and her babies. It breaks my heart to say to her that "I am so sorry things are so hard for you at the moment. I hope you will be able to work through this. I love you and wish I could help." And she acknowledges, "Yes, I know Mum. I know I've stuffed up my life." And then I have to say, "Well, not so much that it can't be fixed. I trust you to know what you need to do to set matters straight."
"I know Mum. I love you, too."
Oh, Nora, we Co-dependents want to fix everything for everybody, but it doesn't work. It always comes back to bite us. I loved how you said you can help him to get help. I have offered Ashe the same.
It's so hard to watch them out of control. It hurts that they had to watch us out of control. The very best thing we can do for our kids is show them that even though we made a train wreck out of our lives, it isn't impossible to get back on track.
I know I'm mixing my metaphores horribly here, but they are out at sea in the dark and being buffeted by the storm, in danger of being cast onto the rocks. We need to be that lighthouse in the distance, shining brightly, showing them the way to a safe harbour. What happens if we fall apart and our lights go out? We must never let that happen, dear Nora. Shine brightly so Casey knows how to come home and trust that he will find his own way there.
My love and support always. xoxoxo
This is my Kaysi.
Attached files [img]/converted_files/1447634=5759-attachment.jpg[/img]

[Grateful]

Nora's journey

Nora...way to go, girlfriend!! So happy to see your optimism....I know the "stuff" is still there, but worrying and stressing won't help. I'm glad that the court was able to reschedule Casey's hearing....you know that I'm praying for him - and you - and will keep good thoughts for the outcome tomorrow.

Things will work out....just like your niece and kids and Tigger visiting you happened when you needed them....to get thru all these curve balls.


Hugs to you, sweetie. :l :l
Love ya lots.

[mama bear]

Nora's journey

lovely post Mish..and your GD is adorable!!

[NoraC]

Nora's journey

12-8-10

Thank you my very dear friends for all your words of comfort. Mish - Thank you so much for sharing your story. It really, really helped. Thanks for sharing the pic too. How gorgeous she is.
We are celebrating Kyleigh's birthday today. We decorated the living room for her. So, she has streamers and balloons. I am off to work now but I'm sure she will have a fun filled day.
Casey has been busy studying for his Finals. Yesterday, he took care of several things he needed to do. Being responsible. Heading in the right direction.
Thank you friends for being here. :l

[mama bear]

Nora's journey

we love you...

[NoraC]

Nora's journey

12-10-10

I have lost my happy. I have lost my ?look at the positive.? I am floundering and can?t find my way anymore.
I am having panic attack after panic attack.
Scott?s pain levels are way up. He is in intense pain all the time. It is affecting him immensely?..it affects his moods of course. I feel stressed trying to make sure that everybody is happy. Trying to keep him from overdoing it while my niece & kids are here.
My brother just came down to see my niece. More stress. He can be very sarcastic/abrasive and I always try to make everything better for everyone so that there is no conflict.
Casey went to court yesterday for his ?public drunkenness?. 4 days community service and approx. $300.00. He also received the notification from DMV yesterday that takes away his driving privileges from December 17 thru April 16. At least he can still drive to school for the finals for next week.
My friend that tried to commit suicide is still feeling like that. In addition, our computers were connected yesterday and she heard my niece and me talking. Somehow, whatever was said must have sounded awful. Because it really hurt her feelings and sent her into an anxiety attack which made it seem like her aneurysm was bursting. I don?t even know exactly what was said. But, she is extremely hurt. All I know is Kris & I were laying there on my bed chatting & talking??my friend was asleep and Kris had a beer and I was saving don?t wave that around in front of the camera that my friend didn?t like it. Kris was asking why and I was explaining. It obviously was much worse than that??.she said that even her husband heard it and said that I thought you were friends. I know from my heart that I would never deliberately say anything bad. But, whatever was heard must have been very hurtful. My friend is going to the doctor now to get another echo done on her heart. But, she is still talking about suicide.
I am so sad and discouraged. I tried to call my therapist and get in to see her. I can?t get thru and will have to wait for a week to see her. I honestly just want to be alone somewhere and have a good cry and not have to worry about all the problems. Not going to happen so I?ll just come here & vent. And then just keep on keeping on.

[tlrgs]

Nora's journey

big big hugs to you nora just hang in there girl

[betty boop]

Nora's journey

Ditto what T said ...............

Nora Hun, hang in there ......... You CAN get through this ......

Love & Hugs, BB xxx