For those of you who attend AA

[Changed1]

I guess I'm wondering if you do the program or if you go more for the social support. I am realizing I really need to get out of my house and SMART meetings are limited here (my preference). I don't want to do AA in the traditional sense. I really only want to go to meet people. I don't want a sponsor, to do the steps, have to label myself as alcoholic, etc. Anyway, when I've gone before this hasn't been well received. What has your experience been? Thanks in advance.

[comet075]

For those of you who attend AA

Changed, I understand. I believe AA can be great but the anonymous is not there in small towns. Maybe go a few towns away? Time consuming too, but they are friends and helpful.You listen to their stories! Some pretty WoW! If they stand there and talk out they do not want to tattle, my find.They want your reassurance, they want your company to fight. Strength in numbers, not enemies, friends.

[MissMerlot]

For those of you who attend AA

Hi Changed,
I've been to 2 aa meetings,the first i felt uncomfortable and then because i messed up again i went a 2nd time.Like you i did not want to do the whole 12 steps thing,just wanted to be out of the house so i couldn't drink but i think for aa to work you have to committ to the whole thing.I just couldn't bring myself to say that i was an alco in front of others.Like you say,it isn't really well received...
It's easy for me here cause i don't know you guys or won't come face to face with you.
And as Comet said,,,forget the anomynous bit if you go to your hometown or within a thirty mile radius.There's always someone you know or who knows you.They do not keep it a secret if you attend a meeting.
Also,i got a sort of 'sect' feel about it.I dunno,maybe that was just me?
I like it here,it's helping me ALOT more than any meeting.
The l-glut & kudzo are fantastic too.
I've done 5 days and don't have any cravings at all.
Just alot of spare time,which i spend on here.
Maybe when i get a few weeks under my belt i'll stumble across an interest outside my home but for this fragile beginning i'l be staying close to these boards.
At the minute the only people that understand my battle are my friends on here...
You being one of them.
I understand you are lonely,but i have a partner & 3 kids, yet i too feel the loneliest person on this earth.Can you understand that?The only time i feel i can be myself and talk,be heard and understood in on here.
God i'm rambling here,,,,wayyyyy past my bedtime..lol

What i'm trying to say is keep strong,stay sober and happiness is sure to follow,emotionally & eventually socially. That's what i'm hoping for anyway...
Just my 2c's worth...

hugs
annie
xx

[tlrgs]

For those of you who attend AA

well i do AA MEETING and find them very helpful... i dont fellow all the step or have a sponor..
and i just take what i need and leave the rest ..there are so many AA meeting all over the place you will find the one you fit right in ...just give it another try .. best of luck to you stay strong and think positive ..

[cacky]

For those of you who attend AA

Changed, I find when i do participate in AA i do beter then when i dont. Since i have recommitted to staying sober (July 17th) I have also decided to go back to AA meetings and socialize more. I go to meetings where i have found people that are like me. Last night i stayed after the meeting and socialized with a few folks instead of going to get something to drink. Tomorrow night i dont have my kids (day 5) and i already have a full night planned. I have dinner plans with some AA friends and then i am going to a meeting and will probably stay after and socialize with some of the AA folks. This will get me through day 5. Day 6 i have my kids again and so i have to plan something for days 7-9 before i get my kids back again. As you can see..what i have now found is that i need AA right now to get me through the first few weeks at least to keep me from drinking. Im either planning AA activities or planning to drink. I dont buy into the AA philosophy but the companionship i do believe in.

[Changed1]

For those of you who attend AA

cacky;670041 wrote: Changed, I find when i do participate in AA i do beter then when i dont. Since i have recommitted to staying sober (July 17th) I have also decided to go back to AA meetings and socialize more. I go to meetings where i have found people that are like me. Last night i stayed after the meeting and socialized with a few folks instead of going to get something to drink. Tomorrow night i dont have my kids (day 5) and i already have a full night planned. I have dinner plans with some AA friends and then i am going to a meeting and will probably stay after and socialize with some of the AA folks. This will get me through day 5. Day 6 i have my kids again and so i have to plan something for days 7-9 before i get my kids back again. As you can see..what i have now found is that i need AA right now to get me through the first few weeks at least to keep me from drinking. Im either planning AA activities or planning to drink. I dont buy into the AA philosophy but the companionship i do believe in.

Cacky, good plan and congrats on racking those days up! Unfortunately, I am not racking the days up. I am wondering if it's even feasible for me to string days together at this point. I am just really lonely and don't know how to change it. Went to volunteer this a.m. and that got me out of ME! Tomorrow I have an orientation to volunteer at another place. I do like volunteering but need a real job, but I don't even want to think about that right now.

Anyhoo, good on you that you are doing so well!

[Changed1]

For those of you who attend AA

tlrgs;669997 wrote: well i do AA MEETING and find them very helpful... i dont fellow all the step or have a sponor..
and i just take what i need and leave the rest ..there are so many AA meeting all over the place you will find the one you fit right in ...just give it another try .. best of luck to you stay strong and think positive ..

Thanks, trlgs. I will give it a try. I will go far from my house and maybe things will be different.

[Changed1]

For those of you who attend AA

anniemac;669933 wrote: Hi Changed,
I've been to 2 aa meetings,the first i felt uncomfortable and then because i messed up again i went a 2nd time.Like you i did not want to do the whole 12 steps thing,just wanted to be out of the house so i couldn't drink but i think for aa to work you have to committ to the whole thing.I just couldn't bring myself to say that i was an alco in front of others.Like you say,it isn't really well received...
It's easy for me here cause i don't know you guys or won't come face to face with you.
And as Comet said,,,forget the anomynous bit if you go to your hometown or within a thirty mile radius.There's always someone you know or who knows you.They do not keep it a secret if you attend a meeting.
Also,i got a sort of 'sect' feel about it.I dunno,maybe that was just me?
I like it here,it's helping me ALOT more than any meeting.
The l-glut & kudzo are fantastic too.
I've done 5 days and don't have any cravings at all.
Just alot of spare time,which i spend on here.
Maybe when i get a few weeks under my belt i'll stumble across an interest outside my home but for this fragile beginning i'l be staying close to these boards.
At the minute the only people that understand my battle are my friends on here...
You being one of them.
I understand you are lonely,but i have a partner & 3 kids, yet i too feel the loneliest person on this earth.Can you understand that?The only time i feel i can be myself and talk,be heard and understood in on here.
God i'm rambling here,,,,wayyyyy past my bedtime..lol

What i'm trying to say is keep strong,stay sober and happiness is sure to follow,emotionally & eventually socially. That's what i'm hoping for anyway...
Just my 2c's worth...

hugs
annie
xx

(((annie))) A big cyber hug to you. I wish I could say I understand what it must be like to be lonely in your situation, but I've never experienced it, as I live alone. My lonely might be different from your lonely but, hey, lonely is lonely!

I am thinking I'll go to a meeting on the other side of town where no one knows me and I know no one. I'd probably be more comfortable with this. Odd thing is, I live in a suburb of 5 or 6 million, but when it comes to AA it's small - so I will venture out and give it a go.

I don't know what time it is over there, but you might be sipping on coffee now. I, OTOH, need to get to bed soon. Big smile from across the big pond.

[Changed1]

For those of you who attend AA

comet075;669884 wrote: Changed, I understand. I believe AA can be great but the anonymous is not there in small towns. Maybe go a few towns away? Time consuming too, but they are friends and helpful.You listen to their stories! Some pretty WoW! If they stand there and talk out they do not want to tattle, my find.They want your reassurance, they want your company to fight. Strength in numbers, not enemies, friends.

Thanks, comet075. I will go a few towns away. It will remove some of the bad feelings I have. Yes, there are definitely stories, to be sure. Strength in numbers is the way to think!

[cacky]

For those of you who attend AA

Changed...dont let the concept of the small town keep you away from AA. i work for a large company in a small town. you have the same fears that everyone entering AA have that they will see someone they will know. but the someone they know is there for the same reason. it really is no big deal. i ended up running into people i know and becomming friends with them all over again. changed whats worse. what you are going through today or biting the bullet and walking into the meeting. go for it. it may not be that bad.

[Guest]

For those of you who attend AA

I'm in a town of 30 000! Sometimes AA meetings are just 6 or 7 people, often not more than 15. Way I figure it is larger meetings are more likely to have someone there you know.

The other thing I remind myself is that plenty folk must know I have a problem. They must see me in the shops when I sneak out for supplies, have seen me staggering home and years ago out in clubs.

Just found out a few weeks back that the gossip a few years back when I lived in a slightly larger town was that I'd become a pot-head. Can't deny I have tried the stuff but I dont' smoke and just didn't like it. I may have been sat around with a load of dope smoking hippies though! I often have to travel out to get to AA and that isn't always possible if I've had a drink - infact I won't do it. Been there, done it!

I know it's even scarier but you can also access NA - they cover all addictions including alcohol (most of them quit drinking too) and interestingly enough consider eating disorders to be addictions as well as other behavioural issues.

I was really scared to go to "that sort" of meeting, worried someone would see me as an "addict" but that's what I consider myself. Be it food, alcohol or any other substance - one of the reasons I didn't get on with weed was I would always eat too much then fall over. Gosh, what a shock!

[TimeToLoveMyLiver]

For those of you who attend AA

Hi Changed.

I hear you. I was exactly the same as you. I know AA has its place and has helped millions of people stay sober, but I decided it was not for me. I too wanted to meet other people, but could not bring myself to say that I'm an alcoholic in front of all those people. I have said it before, I was addicted to other drugs over the years including nicotine. I have not had or craved a cigarette in 15+ years. Does that still mean I'm addicted. No.

What did I do to meet new people?

I have since joined a gym and I am loving it. Maybe try something new. Step outside your comfort zone a little. You never know what might happen.

Good luck with your decision.

Feel free to pm me at any time.

Brett.

[Changed1]

For those of you who attend AA

Thank you all and thank you Brett for saying I can PM you anytime. I too joined the gym but have slacked off since my two week bender not too long ago. I went up until that, then got all bent out of shape (literally) and haven't returned, but I will.

I went to my volunteer orientation this a.m. I want to teach job readiness skills to homeless youth. While there, another opportunity was mentioned and I think I'd like to do that too. It involves going out seven nights a week and looking for homeless youth to feed them and try to get them some resources and get them off the streets. I'll have to get CPR certified again, but think I'll do so. I am thinking too this will be a great way to get out and also do something for others while I'm at it.

Tonight is Toastmasters. I've put off going, but I will make myself go tonight. I don't like public speaking, but it's time. It is at a Chinese restaurant so that will be great too!

At any rate, I will do these things first before AA. I hate having to say I'm an alcoholic over and over as if I can't remember it. I live it every day and that is reminder enough. :thanks: all.

[The New Me]

For those of you who attend AA

My two cents on AA

I liked what was said in the last chapter of "Dry". AA will help you not to drink at the day of the meeting. You will became brainwashed for a day and stay sober for a day. - the author's words, not mine
If you can accomplish the same goal by other means than AA, then I see no reason to spent an hour in a meeting, plus drive time, plus the other factors, such as comfort and privacy.

[Guest]

For those of you who attend AA

I'm not quite on the AA programme yet, I keep resisting. I have realised however that there is a difference between being being an addict and having a problem with a particular drug.

You can be an addict and have a drug problem. If you chose or manage not to take that drug then you are simply an addict who had a drug problem.

An alcoholic may not drink, however he knows if he does drink his usuage will probably go back to the old levels fairly soon and start affecting his body/life again. AA use the term alcoholic as reaffirming the fact you will always have a problem if you drink again. Something this disease is very insiduous and convinces you you can drink.

I don't like the A word and when I've recently tried NA I had to say I'm an "Addict", I'm not addicted to "drugs" but I do have addictions one of which is alcohol and the other is food (either too much or too little). I also know I used to go for recreational usage of drugs in the past - I just managed to be able to put them to one side.

I also know just going to meetings never got me sober, avoiding meetings didn't either. I've had studies, training (am very competitive and love working out), work, friends over, a non-al drinking partner, non-al activities I enjoy as well as lining up voluntary work. Non of that kept me sober. Some did for a while then I always went back. So, now I'm getting interesting in their 12 Step programme. I really don't see the need but deep down I know I have to stop drinking for good - I've managed stints before but can't afford to carry on relapsing. So I've got to give it a go.