Today has been a day that's tested my recovery completely since the day I first stopped drinking. All that I am trying to achieve in my life and how I act, behave, feel etc was suddenly turned on it's head when I awoke to find my mum had had a stroke early hours and was still suffering symptoms of that.
The pattern of my behaviour in the past would of been to dwell on this, get quite morose thinking about the worst case scenario, get emotional, thought about having a drink etc etc. Today ALL those things DID happen. Why wouldn't they? My natural and ingrained way of thinking as an addict in the past was to think this way and that is not going to change for me overnight. What I did do differently though was how these thoughts and feelings were managed better in a way that I did not let them take control of me.
Admittedly at some point the thought of a drink passed through my head but just as quickly as it entered it was gone. I was at quite a low ebb today anyway as I'm not feeling well at all. This is usually a time for me when I can become quite self-pitying and attention seeking! (Hey I'm a man that's what we do when we're ill!!)lol. Anyway today's events made me look more closely at my recovery and how something like this can effect me and I'm glad to say with a lot of help and support I've gained some peace of mind today.
My mum should be out of hospital in a week maybe more depending on the physio and CT scan results which is being done tomorrow.
Love and Light
Phil
xx
The pattern of my behaviour in the past would of been to dwell on this, get quite morose thinking about the worst case scenario, get emotional, thought about having a drink etc etc. Today ALL those things DID happen. Why wouldn't they? My natural and ingrained way of thinking as an addict in the past was to think this way and that is not going to change for me overnight. What I did do differently though was how these thoughts and feelings were managed better in a way that I did not let them take control of me.
Admittedly at some point the thought of a drink passed through my head but just as quickly as it entered it was gone. I was at quite a low ebb today anyway as I'm not feeling well at all. This is usually a time for me when I can become quite self-pitying and attention seeking! (Hey I'm a man that's what we do when we're ill!!)lol. Anyway today's events made me look more closely at my recovery and how something like this can effect me and I'm glad to say with a lot of help and support I've gained some peace of mind today.
My mum should be out of hospital in a week maybe more depending on the physio and CT scan results which is being done tomorrow.
Love and Light
Phil
xx
awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, 
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