My Road To Damascus

[Guest]

I have just returned from a rather long road trip (to the State Capital) - a fairly boring drive when it's not raining...when it's raining, it's hair-raising.
So I had quite a bit of mainly undistracted thinking time. I am now 37 days AF and I'm cured. I have no doubt about it. And, it is all down to the advice, guidance and instruction I have received here.

I now have a small dilemma. Do I leave, or do I stay?
I do have a social conscience and I believe in the Social Contract. I mean to help my fellow travellers where I can. The motto of my old school was: 'Lumen accipe et imperti' (Receive the light and pass it on.)
All of that tells me to stay.

On the other hand, there are many vastly more experienced members here who do an exceedingly good job of encouraging and assisting the newcomers. If I stay it might only cause unnecessary clutter.

On the road trip I came across a broken-down car, bonnet up and disconsolate driver standing nearby. I slowed down and was about to stop when a RACQ van pulled up (that's the same as AA for you non-Queenslanders.) I was relieved for the driver and carried on knowing all was well.
I see this as a metaphor supporting the 'leave now' proposition.

I have canvassed several more senior members (by PM) and there is no common view. Some are for staying and others are not.
What do you think?

[startingover]

My Road To Damascus

Hiya Bluey
Here is my two pence worth
I have been here two years now (tomorrow actually) and sober for that time.
This place has been my lifeline, my social outlet and company more times than I can remember. It has helped me get back my life
What I am saying is this, its more than just a recovery site.
I hope you stay, you are a very welcome addition here, both for your support, your insight and your wonderful way at looking at things.

[startingover]

My Road To Damascus

Oh and one more thing. For me, thinking Im cured has always been a bit disastrous for me in the past. I prefer to think of myself in remission....
Not saying its the same for you of course, but just telling you of my own experience.

[one2many]

My Road To Damascus

startingover;905780 wrote: Oh and one more thing. For me, thinking Im cured has always been a bit disastrous for me in the past. I prefer to think of myself in remission....
Not saying its the same for you of course, but just telling you of my own experience.

]

I agree with what Starty has said here.... we can never be too complacent, I suppose for me it is kinda like if it works..stick with it.

As for you being "unecessary clutter"...

BH, you are one of the funniest, wittiest, compassionate people on here, you have such a lot to offer and why take that away?

I use this place exactly the way starty does....it is more than a recovery site, it is more than a place to come for help and to get things off my chest....its a place where my friends are.


xxxxx Oney

[JackieClaire]

My Road To Damascus

Do what you see fit.

[mario]

My Road To Damascus

In my personal opinion.We all come here for two main reasons, to keep sober ourselves and to help others keep sober, its a well known fact that helping others is a big part of keeping sober yourself, it is also very very hard to keep sober by yourself. If community exists, both freedom and security may exist as well. The community then takes on a life of its own, as people become free enough to share and secure enough to get along and where that happens you can have
Emotional safety
A sense of belonging and identification
Personal investment
Only you know Blue heeler if you need or want this community,but does the community need you ? of course it does. 1o minutes of your time every day is not to much to give back

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

My Road To Damascus

I am now 37 days AF and I'm cured.

Hmm I hope this is where you are on your journey, truly I do but I dont subscribe to the notion of being cured of alcoholism. Were that the case you could just drink again as 'normal' people do, is that a realistic option? I honestly dont mean this as a criticism of the way in which you view things, for only you truly know what is the reality of your situation is deep down.
I really hope you do decide to stay on here, for you are an asset to the site.
Keep safe
KTAB

[Guest]

My Road To Damascus

KTAB. I think you are a beaut guy. Not only that but you are on the path to enlightenment. Study the Tao and the Zen. You must find the path...it will not come to you.

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

My Road To Damascus

Thanks Blue. You're not too bad yourself

"Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers,
but to be fearless in facing them.
Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain,
but for the heart to conquer it.
Let me not crave in anxious fear to be saved,
but for the patience to win my freedom."
Shantideva

[Chillgirl]

My Road To Damascus

BH - You only have to read all these posts to see what amazing people are on here, I love Mario's description of it being a community! I for one am proud to be part of this community at whatever stage in my sobriety I am. Right now I couldnt be further from ever having a drink again but I dont know what lies ahead of me.

We all wear masked in the outer world, mine is of someone who is self sufficient & strong and very few people know of my AL problem, when I come here I can show a bit more of my true self and its therapy for me, not just in dealing with AL but in dealing with life....

If you ask your true self whether you want to be here, you will find an answer.

[FallonsMom]

My Road To Damascus

Stay!!!!

[Guest]

My Road To Damascus

Chill...you rattle my heart stones... 'If you ask your true self whether you want to be here, you will find an answer.'
What is my true self? Now I need to think about that. I do have a persona, in fact I have several, as we mostly do. Sometimes I wish I had my grandfather on hand. He knew it all. Alas, he is long dead, having died of cirrhosis at 85. Now I just have to wing it.
zOPL:;;;;;;;;;;;;;0999999999
That interruption was caused by my cat walking on the keyboard...sorry but it is just something I have to live with. I don't mind, I love her dearly. She lives in my world too.

[Guitarista]

My Road To Damascus

Whatever you decide Bluey, it's great having you around.

[Ringing Cedars]

My Road To Damascus

I love reading your posts Mr. Blue. I find you honest, humourous, compassionate and not afraid to be a hard ass when you feel it's called for. You are real!

As KT said and others, I believe this site can still support you and benefit from your reciprocity.

All the best!!

[dancelot]

My Road To Damascus

I agree with RC. I too like your "straight talk", as well as compassion. Compassion is good, but without the other, it only goes so far.

Sometimes I find I need to take breaks from here and do. Even then, I will often drop in for a few minutes & read a few posts. I think it serves as a gentle reminder to not ever get too complacent. Sometimes we can get burned out and have nothing to add (or feel we don't), are maybe getting very little being here, or worse, getting the feeling of undermining our own sobriety. Those are good times to maybe lay low for awhile. Coming back from a break gives me a new set of eyes or something.

Just because you haven't been here as long as some other members does not mean you don't have valuable insights to share. Different things come up at different points on this journey, and those closest to them can often give fresh perspective. I always went by not how long someone has been here, but what success they're having, and what insights they have.

Especially at first I spent a lot of time here (time well spent, I'll add). At some point I had to let go a little bit and get on with my life. I know it's different for everybody - some people are a lot more sociable than others, and there's nothing wrong with that. The good thing is, MWO is always here 24/7, whenever we need it.

On the idea of being cured - "cured" I'm not much of a believer in. I am a believer in 100% commitment to sobriety, and that means all the time, and doing whatever it takes to stay that way. That might mean MWO, AA, or any other tool. It might be taking breaks from all of those, but never losing sight of the goal, and never picking up that first drink, ever. Doing whatever it takes. I find as I get further along, I am more comfortable in my sobriety, and don't feel the need to constantly "worry" about it. I don't feel the need to be tied to anything to keep me in that place, but I do need to remember to go back should the issue come up (if and when it does, as it has).

Do what feels right for you and your own sobriety. That always has to be our first priority. Besides nothing has to be permanent (as far as whether any of us stay or go). It is nice to know how everyone's doing. I notice there are people who only drop in every 6 months or a year to update us. Anyway, you'll figure it out - take care!