Feelings thoughts

[e-g-73]

I have been drinking steadily and heavily for about three years - prior to that I was drinking socially, sometimes more than others. Many times I told myself (above all the day after a black out) that I wanted to stop.

This is the very first time I am actually really trying - in the past I would think about it, but than run to the store to make sure I had one bottle of wine in the house... just inc case I needed it... and of course I would end up drinking it.
I have been AF for 8 days - which to me is a great success. BUT I have these feelings of depression and anxiety about life that are just not inspiring. I should be happier - I am trying to overcome my addiction. Is it common to feel this way? What can I do? My life is generally speaking a good one - good husband, two wonderful healthy kids, great career. Why, not that I stopped drinking for a week I feel so shitty?

[Britches]

Feelings thoughts

Yes what you are feeling is normal and part of the process. Are you taking vitamins-eating well-staying hydrated? Have you read the book?
You are in the right place for support-hang in there!!:welcome::goodjob:Great that you have gone 8 days with no al!

[rubywillow]

Feelings thoughts

Yes, e, very common. You have cut out something in your life that consumed a lot of time. Congrats on your time. Let's find you a place here you feel comfortable!! And welcome.
Ruby

[Chillgirl]

Feelings thoughts

For me giving up AL was a grieving process as it had been my constant companion, allbeit a bad one, for many years. I felt like someone had stolen my security blanket under which Id been hiding from the world. Scary as it was, it was good to stand on my own two feet and face the world with a clear head instead of through the bottom of a bottle.

[paula]

Feelings thoughts

Hi e, I have been coming to this forum for sometime now, I have relapsed so many times, I drank again last week and the same old feelings are back, guilt, remorse just feeling so bad, I would do almost anything to get rid of the pain. You are doing well and you will soon feel better. Just remember how bad you felt if you take another drink. Good luck.

[e-g-73]

Feelings thoughts

@ britches - no I have not read the book and although I have done a little research prior stopping, I am not sure I know all about it. I am taking vitamins, and eating very healthy and exercising as well.

I have not shared my decision with anybody - not even my husband (I was drinking secretly and not sure he would even understand my decision to stop as he probably rarely noticed I was drinking everyday) .

I am in for myself and not anyone else. I am just scared I guess ... Thank you for your support.
To a better future AF! I will let you know how things go in the next few days.

[rubywillow]

Feelings thoughts

e, we're always scared. Especially when we don't know where we'll have support. That's the beauty of this place. Find a group, ANY group, jump in, and you'll have people looking out for you, OK?

[e-g-73]

Feelings thoughts

How long before I will feel 'normal' - whatever normal is I guess how long before I will be emotionally more stable? You that have been through it... can you give me an idea?

[rubywillow]

Feelings thoughts

e, in my humble opinion, it DOES depend on what was normal before, and how long we drank. I don't know your life. Maybe this can be a new beginning for you, a chance to re-invent yourself. That would be exciting if I was much younger! And even now, I love looking at each day as an adventure.

[Chillgirl]

Feelings thoughts

Eg - the beginning of my AF journey was a rollercoaster of emotions, many highs and lows, it was as if all the feelings I'd been supressing with the booze all surfaced. I found it best not to over analyze it and on the difficult days take it ODAT. Sobriety takes on a life of it's own and involves more than just not drinking. We have to get to know our true selves all over again and it's a wonderful journey of enlightenment and realization. I promise you it's worth it and I am forever grateful to be sober.

[e-g-73]

Feelings thoughts

i did not make it - this anxiety and feeling of being lost - i had a drink i feel like a failed. tomorrow i will try to start again - i am afraid of these feelings of being lost ....

[sapphire1]

Feelings thoughts

Hello E,

I agree with everything the others have said. When you stop drinking, the nervous system takes time to right itself. Alcohol is a depressant and when taken away, the anxiety, that you possibly trying to ease by drinking in the first place, comes rushing back with a vengeance. Look in the Toolbox heading in the starting out thread and you find descriptions of withdrawal symptoms that can last up to three weeks after your last drink. I think that the lost and anxious feelings that you are having are a combination of the physical and psychological symptoms associated with withdrawal. Arm yourself with as much information about these feelings and you will not feel so bad. Hang in there E, stay on these boards as much as you like, ask for help, theres a whole bunch of fantastic support here for you. It is early days as well, do try not to beat yourself up for not getting it right the first time.

[Sunnyvalenting]

Feelings thoughts

Your feelings are normal. It takes the time it takes. Your addictive brain may be trying to convince your rational brain that life isn't fun without alcohol so why bother quitting. Believe me, no matter how bad you feel now you can always make it worse by drinking. Hang in there. For me it took a few weeks to start feeling HOPE and then I slowly began to trust that I could indeed recover. I am now 8 1/2 months AF and haven't felt this happy and healthy in years.
Congrats on your 8 day start to freedom.
sunny