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    #46
    WAKE UP PEOPLE!

    A very interesting thread and some very good replies and it seems that the remark about us being self-pitying alkies hit home and maybe we should look hard inside ourselves before taking offense at what others say when they are trying to help us by giving us sound advice. And criticism can be a positive part of that advice if we chose to take it in the manner it's given and I rarely post but I've asked for and gotten great advice from some of the long-term AF members here by personal messages and you know who you are and you've always been kind and caring and thank you.
    Head
    Headstrong has a strong head.

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      #47
      WAKE UP PEOPLE!

      :bump:
      For every 60 seconds that you are angry, you lose a minute of happiness.
      AF since 10/10/2015:yay:

      Comment

        #48
        WAKE UP PEOPLE!

        I totally agree with you Oney, and I for one have been here a long time and most of it have not been trying too hard, id be the first one to admit it! At this moment in time I happen to be on my second week and feeling very, very strong , think I have got to the point where I might actually conquer this and right here , right now this is EXACTLY what I need to be reading cos I do not want to be posting how I 'slipped' in a few days, so keep it going and thank you so much for raising the issue, love you loads Oney, always will xxxx
        PS. Feck Drink, Drink Stinks!!

        Comment

          #49
          WAKE UP PEOPLE!

          I very much agree with this Oney, I feel the same as Limers. I've been here for years, too long to let this keep going. Time just keeps passing by and I was making too many half assed attempts to really quit. I feel stronger then I ever have and I'm tired of making excuses for myself; tired of the doing the same shit but on a different day. It has to stop, and I'm stopping it.
          Love yah bunches L!
          xox

          Comment

            #50
            WAKE UP PEOPLE!

            I don't post here often any more, but do read every day. I wanted to thank you for posting the this thread. I don't post much any more because I was getting frustrated with this as well. I just left a relationship because my former boyfriend only wanted to drink, go to bars, etc. I told him I didn't want to, but he encouraged it and stupidly I'd go along. I don't want enabling, I want support! I finally found the strength to say no more and good bye!! I'm not going back to old drinking habits. My sobriety is more important than him. Obviously, I wasn't that important to him. Anyway, thank you again for starting the thread. It's really helped me!

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              #51
              WAKE UP PEOPLE!

              Loved coming in from work and reading the positive posts from positive people. Thanks again Oney, this is too big and too important:thanks:
              Molly
              Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
              contentedly NF since 8/04/14

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                #52
                WAKE UP PEOPLE!

                Thanks Guys,

                I have been thinking about it for a long time now and I knew I was opening up a can of worms with this one but decided it was worth the risk.

                If it makes ONE person sit back and question their drinking/ their excuses/their lack of planning or their decisions to drink (otherwise known as a slip) and it makes another person question their enabling/ their band aid approach /kiss it better posts...then even better.
                "It's not your job to like me, it's mine!"

                AF 10th May 2010
                NF 12th May 2010

                Comment

                  #53
                  WAKE UP PEOPLE!

                  gr8 post oney, i agree. i was so far from sober when i stumbled onto this place. i was still smashing myself every night, draging the esky next to the comp to avoid the 15 foot walk to the fridge in the same room(i thought that was cleaver, not pathetic) reading MWO threads and crying my eyes out, between necking larg beer bottles(another time saving breakthrough).if i had posted then, and gotten the hugs and 'its ok it was a slip' type stuff i know i would of kept drinking.

                  so, 'suck it up princess, learn from the error, what was the triger, are you realy ready?' thesse are some of the things i say to my good mate at work who is doing ALL the alkie tricks we have seen here, he stopped for 3 months, then started on light beer, down frow 2lt of bourban a night. then lots of light beer, then heavy beer, now he is back on bourban. He PLANS another attempt, and i told him and ill tell anyone who is reading this (in best YODA voice) 'either do, or do not, there is no try'

                  asp.
                  AF since 10/26/2009

                  It will be five years sober 10/26/2014

                  Comment

                    #54
                    WAKE UP PEOPLE!

                    If it makes ONE person sit back and question their drinking/ their excuses/their lack of planning or their decisions to drink (otherwise known as a slip) and it makes another person question their enabling/ their band aid approach /kiss it better posts...then even better.
                    Amen Sistah!!

                    Special congratulations to the people who have posted to this thread who are newly in sobriety - no matter how long you have been an MWO member. You are proving to youselves that you CAN go for a day or a week or a month without drinking. You CAN. Seeing the truth when you look in the mirror is key - whether that's the truth about a good day (AF, and how you accomplished that) or the truth about a bad day (not AF, but scrutiny on what went wrong and a desire to change it). Several of you have seen the truth and it shows in your posts. Keep doing that - it will serve you well.

                    DG
                    Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                    Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

                    One day at a time.

                    Comment

                      #55
                      WAKE UP PEOPLE!

                      I have been following this thread all day and wanting to post but my Internet kept crashing!

                      I don't have anything to add that hasn't already been said by all you wonderful people, I'm a great believer in our thoughts control everything and when we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.

                      I will just leave you with a quote which sums it up for me....
                      "What you have to do and the way you have to do it is incredibly simple. Whether you are willing to do it, that's another matter"

                      Chill
                      "In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer ."
                      AF - JAN 1st 2010
                      NF - May 1996

                      Comment

                        #56
                        WAKE UP PEOPLE!

                        one2many;996003 wrote:
                        If it makes ONE person sit back and question their drinking/ their excuses/their lack of planning or their decisions to drink (otherwise known as a slip) and it makes another person question their enabling/ their band aid approach /kiss it better posts...then even better.
                        Oney, the sobriety fairy has granted your wish!!!

                        I had a friend die unexpectedly last week, and in the aftermath of that I drank. I had told myself after my last relapse that if I did it again I was straight off to the Dr for Antabuse. Made the appointment yesterday. Couldn't get in until next week. This morning I was sort of thinking "maybe I'll be okay without it". Your post (and all the others!) put the steel back into my spine. I've always been a bit nervous about Antabuse (as in: do I have to stop wearing perfume?? what if my alkie brain decides to test it out :hitme , but my will power can go from rock solid to the equivalent of a soggy bus ticket in 5 seconds flat. And with the festive season approaching, I just dont trust myself to get through it if I didn't take some action that would just totally eliminate the prospect of drinking as even a possibility!!

                        I struggle sometimes with the tough love stuff responses and as a result usually dont talk about it if I've relapsed. Mostly because when I have done so, I've been in a black hole, and the last thing I've needed is tough love. I just haven't been emotionally resilient enough to cope with it. But having been back on anti-depressants for the last couple of months, I've recently moved from feeling "okay" to feeling positively good, and its given me the strength of purpose that I first had when I came to MWO.

                        Anyway, Oney and all others, thanks from the bottom of my heart for your posts. It's another one printed off for safe-keeping (actually, I think I'm going to get a folder to keep them :H). And writing this post has been helpful for me too!

                        The other bit of serendipity for today was my Message from the Universe (and probably everyone else's that subscribes to that site :H)

                        "The more you do, the more I can do for you. Dont worry that your baby-steps are small, mine cross continents. And dont worry when you cant see yet what I'm doing ..... soon everyone will."

                        Aspy - do you mind if I borrow the "Suck it up Princess" line as my new signature :H
                        Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn

                        Harriet Beecher Stowe

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                          #57
                          WAKE UP PEOPLE!

                          great post one2many.. im only on day 9 but i would prefer to get some positive information from the people who have conquered this disease one day at a time that get the band aid treatment...xx

                          Comment

                            #58
                            WAKE UP PEOPLE!

                            Bloody good for you Missy! Great decision with the Antabuse... What a serious, positive step!!

                            Perfect message from the Universe too! I subscribe aswell, I LOVE it.

                            Jodie..day 9 and trucking..keep it up girl!

                            Aspman, I adore that avatar, thank you for posting

                            Chilly this quote says it all..thank you

                            "What you have to do and the way you have to do it is incredibly simple. Whether you are willing to do it, that's another matter"
                            "It's not your job to like me, it's mine!"

                            AF 10th May 2010
                            NF 12th May 2010

                            Comment

                              #59
                              WAKE UP PEOPLE!

                              This thread is fantastic. I've had 'slips' and conned myself it was ok. It isn't and loved ones will want to sooth you with kind words, all this does(and has done) is make you think it's ok. It really isn't ok and no one who really cares would guide a person by the hand to the cliff edge where they would plunge to their death.

                              I've gotten frustrated with some members who are so obviously justifying their drinking every day.

                              Everyone has problems in their lives and an alcoholic will drink on anything. Most days I go through "My life is so stressful/that person was so awful to me/it's so unfair", when actually I have a really priviledged life. I nearly always want to drink whenever any of those thoughts come into my head.

                              When I've drank I've tried to keep away from the forum because I don't want to post a lot of rubbish, and I also know under the influence I don't take anything in.Oh I may make the right noises but it's a complete waste of time.

                              Alcoholism is a disease where mental deception plays a big part, we have to be honest when trying to help each other. Saying "there, there it's ok you had a drink" everytime is dangerous, whereas constructive support is much more useful.

                              Comment

                                #60
                                WAKE UP PEOPLE!

                                I have been here for almost 4 years now. If I saw a thread like this, I would be totally put off.

                                I do, however, don't believe in coddling people. But also, I wouldn't want to put fear in those who are really struggling not to be honest and get their feelings out. Even if they do drink.

                                I struggled for years! I would hate to have posted on the board after drinking and not have any support. Shit, many of us have been up and down on that roller coaster.

                                Wouldn't it be better to give the person in need the support, even if they fuck up? That is the ONE thing that a lot of us never had! Was support! It was Ok for us when we were drinking to seek comfort in other's who could relate to us, wasn't it? Even if we messed up, there was always someone here who understood, wasn't there?

                                Don't forget that there are a lot of people here who also don't know what they want to do. Whether it be AF or drink in moderation. Who are we to judge?

                                We are only human. Human's are dumb. We may make the mistake over and over again until we finally get it. I certainly did.

                                Where is the compassion? I think it is time to take a step back and not judge someone else.

                                I think it makes us better human beings to give understanding and acceptance that it may take some time to get where we want to be, etc...

                                Patience is key to helping a fellow alcoholic gain the self esteem and self worth to quit. We have been beaten down so low for however long. No one can get this monkey off their back until they are ready.

                                Just my two cents.

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