CHOOCHIE CHECKING IN

[Choochie]

CHOOCHIE CHECKING IN

guy with a headache;1032691 wrote: So much of this is about self-awareness.

Guy, I agree - and the fact that things evolve. Regardless of how things go for me, I am thankful for this site and the positive changes I've experienced because of it. Stick around. You won't be sorry! And, welcome!

ML - good to be back, and thanks. I've missed you and Jenn and Madmans and Sharky and so many others. Congrats on your days - all good!!

LVT - thanks to you too. Hope things are going well for you. I still have a lot of catch up reading to do.

[KateH1]

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Hi Choochie, It is so good to see you! Happy New Year!

I have always appreciated your insight and sincerity. Conquering this disease takes both to succeed. I don't like the phrase to "Choose" AF or modding. For most of us here, there truly is not choice about it. We cannot mod, not because of a lack of strength or lack of comittment, or dicipline. It is the very nature of our disease, "One is too many and 100 not enough". I know and I fully accept this about myself, I have no dilusions! But, there are some here who are not alcoholics, who have gone through a short period of ""Problem Drinking" and after an extended period of AF time, are able to TRULY Mod. It sounds like you might be one of these people, Choochie. Only time will tell, and you will know! Keep a close handle on it!

My good friend BELIEVE is posting in the Mods section here. He was in the small original AF group that I was part of here in the beginning, when I was learning to live AF. After many, many months of living AF, he slowly decided that modding was the direction he wanted to go and like you, he talked to the rest of us about it. I must say, I had mixed emotions at first. But, I was coming from my own place with alcohol. The more he spoke about modding, the more I thought, maybe he can mod. At that point, he still had not had a drink.....he was just thinking about modding which told me that he was not "justifying drinking"....he indeed had a plan, a solid plan! You might enjoy reading his posts and having a conversation with him about modding.

Whatever you do, I am glad you are back!

Happy, Healthy, Sober New Year to You!
xx Kate

[Choochie]

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Kate, thanks for this information about Believe. And, thanks so much for your post. It is helpful and means a lot to me to hear from you. It's obvious that you have a really good head on your shoulders and I have the greatest respect for your opinions, insight, and intellect.

Happy New Year's to you and thanks for welcoming me back!

xx,
Choochie

[Chillgirl]

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CHOOCHIE! :l Lovely to hear from you!
We are all at different stages in our paths of life and who knows, maybe if I had found myself here and willing to listen 10 years ago I could have moderated. (Although somehow I doubt it)

Perhaps there is a line you didnt cross in the progression of the addiction which enables you to do this, and I sincerely hope thats how it turns out. I love your frankness and respect you so much for being open to experiment.

I wish you and your family so much happiness and love, you are one of the people who warmed many hearts here and we all benefited from knowing you.

[techie]

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It is so good to see you posting Choochie. I don't care if your called Kundalini Girl, Medusa, or Heidi Fleiss. You're back and that's wonderful. Thank you for sharing and I wish you the best at modding. I think you have a good shot at getting it right. I'll pray you do. I can't do it, and NO, your post isn't going to lead me or anyone to pick up a drink. We are ONLY responsible for ourselves, but we're lucky to have such a unique collective support network called MWO to draw strength from. God bless, Happy New Year, and welcome back! Your friend John (aka Techie, Sarge, Fabio) xoxoxo

P.S. Hope to see you in Sarges next bootcamp!

[papmom3]

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Hey Chooch!! I'm so glad to see you my friend! I've missed you!
What wonderful news that you are able to mod right now!! I'm so happy for you. No matter what we try to tell ourselves, AL is a very big part of society and even now the medical community is still trying to tell us that AL in moderation is very good for us!! Unfortunately for those of us whose brain chemistry turns AL into an extremely toxic substance we'll have to find other ways to get healthier!! I would love nothing better than to be able to have a glass of wine or 2 with my family when we get together or when I go out to dinner. Unfortunately I know that will never be the case for me anymore. The minute AL enters my bloodstream the switch gets stuck in the "ON" position. It's been this way from the very beginning when I was in my teens. I just didn't want to admit or remember that.
I do hope you continue to post "in moderation" :H. You were a big part of MWO from the time you joined. Your insight and sharing was always wonderful to read.
Happy 2011 Choochie! May peace, love and prosperity be yours throughout this new year!!

:l :h

[Choochie]

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Techie and PM3 - thanks guys - sending big love your way.:l

[dancelot]

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Good to see you again Choochie! Insight, thoughtfulness, and honesty are common traits I see in both successful mods and abs, and I have never seen otherwise from you. You will know if it is possible for you or not. Either way, your valuable contributions will be helpful to someone, whether it's mods or abs.

My belief is the reason there are more abs is is because many people here are already so far gone by the time they look into solving their alcohol problem, and at that point no longer have a choice. I often wonder if some had done it years before, whether it might have been possible.

Anyway, I am glad to see you around again! :h

[Choochie]

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Dance, thanks for your words of encouragement. We'll see about me. I am fully prepared to go back to AF if I go beyond drinking as planned (rarely at social occasions and not more than 1x per week).

Hope you are doing well. Happy New Year!

xx,
Choochie

[Rusty]

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Choochie:h You're back! I missed you!

I commend you for your honesty. I am also one who has been able to moderate. I was puzzled why I was successful at it but my addiction therapist said people whose AL abuse is five years old or less have a chance at moderating. Now, I am AF about 95-98% of the time. My AL abuse was about 4 years old. I have had many consecutive AF days, and my drinking is limited to 1 or 2 glasses of wine when I am with my family twice per month. I was brutally honest with my therapist about my habits and we were able to determine that I was not physically dependent on AL, it was out of habit. Like Dancelot said, some people who come here have an addiction that spans many years....some 20, 30 and 40 years, and when they get here...they feel like there's just not going back. I'm so glad you found your way out!:h:l

[Choochie]

CHOOCHIE CHECKING IN

Rusty, thanks for your kind words! I had not heard that about the five year statistic. I think I would fall into that category, but I'll just have to see how I do.

I really like being sober, so I think if I can just have a drink on rare occasions (maybe not even as often as once/week), that the pressure of social occasions will no longer haunt me. Just knowing that when I get with friends I don't have to be so worried, would be a big help to me. And, if it doesn't work, I can always go back to being AF (which I really liked) and not have lost too much, I believe.

Thanks again for responding!

[Lavande]

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Hi Choochie,

Glad you checked in I've been thinking & wondering about you.
Whatever you choose to do I wish you good luck & happiness!

Lav

[Choochie]

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Lav, thanks so much!

[Mish]

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Choochie, I'm so happy to hear from you and that it's all going so well for you. I hope you'll pop in here with the abstainers from time to time just to let us know how you're doing.
You seem to have set a very good plan in place and if it works out for you, well, that's wonderful.
Nothing you or anyone could say could ever convince me to try moderating. I'm in such a great place that I am happy with my decision to abstain and live my life completely AF. I doubt that I could ever moderate as I have a long history with The Beast. I hadn't heard of the 5 year thing before, but it's a very interesting idea.
I'll miss your insightful posts and extraordinary talent for research. I hope if you come across anything to help the abstainers you'll put it out there for us.
Love and best wishes. xoxoxoxo

[madmans]

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Hi Choochie glad your back