The 30 somethings thread.

[Bean]

The 30 somethings thread.

Feels so great to be FREE from the beast!

Just had a lovely evening with a friend who barely drinks at all. At 11pm it suddenly occurred to me that it hadn't even crossed my mind to have any alcohol tonight which is great as the 'Friday' trigger was always pretty strong.
We watched a movie that I have seen before and I realised that I had no recollection of the last half hour of it....which means I was drinking when I saw it the first time and probably fell asleep.

My friend said "isn't it great how much more you're getting out of life now?". Too true.

Tomorrow is a full calendar month AF and I am treating myself to a facial! I have saved almost $300 by not drinking this month. That feels really good too.
Have a great weekend all.
Bean

[hillsidetime]

The 30 somethings thread.

Hi everyone, I hope you are well.

Thor, it is sometimes scary to reflect on the past, using alcohol to solve problems, to celebrate, for everything. It is the really bad decisions and mistakes I made, while drunk, that still haunt me. I will check out that song.

You mention the transition, and love. For me, during this process of starting my life without alcohol, love and feelings have been very different. (Love for my kids has not changed). My feelings towards my wife, and my feelings in general have been all over the map. Have you found that?

Bean, it is awesome to see life through a sober lense. It sounds like you have a good friend with whom you can talk - you are lucky. Treat yourself for your one month for sure ! I do the same thing.

Well, it is a busy weekend for me, my son's hockey team has 5 games in a tournament in a near town. Should be fun. My daughter will get some skiing in, and some arena time too. Take care,
Hill

[clthorson75]

The 30 somethings thread.

Bean;1050270 wrote: Just had a lovely evening with a friend who barely drinks at all. At 11pm it suddenly occurred to me that it hadn't even crossed my mind to have any alcohol tonight which is great as the 'Friday' trigger was always pretty strong.
We watched a movie that I have seen before and I realised that I had no recollection of the last half hour of it....which means I was drinking when I saw it the first time and probably fell asleep.

My friend said "isn't it great how much more you're getting out of life now?". Too true.

Tomorrow is a full calendar month AF and I am treating myself to a facial! I have saved almost $300 by not drinking this month. That feels really good too.
Have a great weekend all.
Bean

GREAT JOB! And you deserve it!

[clthorson75]

The 30 somethings thread.

Zeppie2;1049791 wrote: Howdy guys - I'm a 37 year old girly - Got a year AF under my belt - I just want to say it does get easier not drinking. I am now comfortable with going down to the pub and having a laugh with friends, I just leave earlier than most, usually when everyone starts repeating themselves It's also kind of cool being able to make sure everyone is okay on a night out and making sure they all get home safely

Hi Zeppie. I am looking forward to getting to that point.

[clthorson75]

The 30 somethings thread.

hillsidetime;1050352 wrote: Hi everyone, I hope you are well.

Thor, it is sometimes scary to reflect on the past, using alcohol to solve problems, to celebrate, for everything. It is the really bad decisions and mistakes I made, while drunk, that still haunt me. I will check out that song.

You mention the transition, and love. For me, during this process of starting my life without alcohol, love and feelings have been very different. (Love for my kids has not changed). My feelings towards my wife, and my feelings in general have been all over the map. Have you found that?

Bean, it is awesome to see life through a sober lense. It sounds like you have a good friend with whom you can talk - you are lucky. Treat yourself for your one month for sure ! I do the same thing.

Well, it is a busy weekend for me, my son's hockey team has 5 games in a tournament in a near town. Should be fun. My daughter will get some skiing in, and some arena time too. Take care,
Hill

Hi Hill, Yeah buddy the regret can kill a person. But everyday brings a new challenge and I love what you said of seeing life threw a sober lense. Hope you had a great time with your kid's today.

Thors

[marriedgirl29]

The 30 somethings thread.

Hello everyone! Love the idea of this thread! Awesome!

Also it sounds like several or most of you are staying totally AF, which is what I'm doing too. I will be 30 on March 2, so hopefully I can sqeak in for the present!

I am married, no kids yet, and 24 says sober today. I go to AA regularly, that's the only thing that has worked for me as I have full blown alcoholism, runs in my family. Things got pretty out of control in my life, the consequences not as bad but the drinking was everyday and at any and all times of the day.

I am also trying to take it easy with my marriage, I have been feeling just super angry towards my husband, and it's just been hard being with him sober. I am trying to be patient with whatever I am going through emotionally with that. It's scary.

Thanks everyone I will be checking back on this thread for sure!

MG

[clthorson75]

The 30 somethings thread.

Great to have you here married! It's funny how we see things different sober. The life changes so drastically. If you need someone to talk to just send me a pm or vent away here. This is a place for you and all of us. Let us know how we can help. AWESOME on your sobriety so far. It comes with some bad side effects. (I took tend to get angry more often now that I am sober) I hear from the long time absteners it passes. My birthday is on March 5th!

[clthorson75]

The 30 somethings thread.

I want to thank everyone who has posted so far! I hope this takes off and we get to know eachother and have healthy long lasting sober friendship here. Your kindness and your honesty is why I started this. I am smiling like a guy who just got a million dollar check in the mail today. YOU GUYS ROCK!

[clthorson75]

The 30 somethings thread.

Hoping and praying everyone is getting threw the day sober! Peace and love to all!

[Bean]

The 30 somethings thread.

Hi all

I am going fine with the AF stuff. Just feeling some irritation and anger this weekend with my ex and trying to sift through those emotions in my head.

Also, I keep having dreams of moderating! In my dream, I tell myself that this first month has been easy, so I must be able to moderate and then I have a glass or two of wine (in the dream). I don't really feel anything either way when I wake up (though maybe a bit of relief I didn't actually drink) but I'm worried these dreams are a bit dangerous. I knew when I started this journey that after a few weeks or months, your brain can start to trick you that really it is fine to drink. Do you think this is what's happening?

Guess I just need to maintain my vigilance...
Hope you all had a good weekend
Bean

[clthorson75]

The 30 somethings thread.

Hi Bean, I have drinking dreams alot. Not sure where they are coming from. I wonder at times if I am building up in my head more than I need to. And when I am sleeping my inner self needs to let go of it one way or another. If you can mod that is great. Be careful though I tried to mod and met a a disaster with it. But if you can that is great.

Thors

[Bean]

The 30 somethings thread.

Hi Thors

That's the thing - I think i have proved to myself over and over again that I can't moderate (or more precisely, I don't want to). If I am drinking then I want to have as much as I want and generally do (though I guess that also counts as not being able to moderate else I would try to limit myself).

I am not 'white knuckling' it at all being AF which is great but there is a little voice inside that is whispering to me that I should test whether I can moderate again... I'm scared of giving in to it and, like you said, meeting with disaster.

Anyway, not going to do anything rash...
Bean

[choice]

The 30 somethings thread.

Hi Everyone,
I must have missed this thread the other day. I'm 37 and engaged. We are taking a break right now from each other and it's been a really good thing. We are both alcoholics and when I stopped drinking my fiance did a 30 day stint out of support he was a bit spiteful but non the less was able to do it... Since I've been gone he had a big New Years eve with some heavy drinkers and slumped into depression. So he decided to go AF for good and has been to one AA meeting. I'm really glad he has come to this decision while I wasn't there, and I'm so thankful that I have been able to just worry about my own drinking apart from him. This time with my family's support and time alone has been so valuable. My fiance is now 30 days AF and coming to visit me in 2 weeks.

I love him and I'm glad things are smoothing out but I feel a little sad that my time away is coming to an end and haven't missed him as much as I thought I would. I look forward to talking on the phone with him and I feel happy. I guess I just don't know what my feelings are at the moment. It was his idea that I leave so I feel like he kinda pushed me away and I feel distant. I keep trying to feel the way I did when we got engaged and can't. I think I'm just going to have to let this unfold as I can't seam to come up with a decision. Honestly I didn't anticipate him going AF, I also had no idea I'd function or cope so well away from him, I have in fact enjoyed being on my own. This is all very new emotions to be having for me. I am in awe of how much easier a hard time is when sober. So I guess I will have to see. I feel pretty calm. Thanks for listening.... I just saw people opening up about their feelings regarding partners and feelings.

Hillsidetime your support on my broken heart thread was so comforting. I hope your well, almost a year for you congrats in advance. Hello to everyone else, so far I really relate to much of what's being discussed here. Thank you!

[hillsidetime]

The 30 somethings thread.

Good morning everyone, I hope that you had a nice weekend. My son's hockey team won the tournament we were at, it was awesome. Busy weekend at the rink.

Thors, how was your weekend? I hope you are doing well.

Married girl, welcome, and yes you can join for sure. It really does sound like you have realised that you need to have power over alcohol. You are at 26 days sober today I think, great work. Things take time, and it is new to be with a partner now that we are living sober. Be patient. He has to get used to you as well. It will take like half a year for you to really get into your new sober skin, so he will need to be understanding and patient too. I hope he is.

Bean, I have also had those moderation dreams. It is funny, like you say, about what the brain does. The good news is when you wake up, and it was a dream. That little voice, needs to be crushed. I think in time it will hopefully go away. For me, I know I can't moderate, period.

Choice, welcome. Once going sober, it seems that it is really hard to get a grasp on emotions for a while. It took me months until I felt anything other than BLANK towards my wife. She has been wonderful, but I was so busy mentally and physically fighting the urges and new lifestyle of being sober, that I did not have anything left. Things may take time. You certainly have some big decisions ahead of you, hopefully they don't need to be rushed. If you both can stay sober, and start those new sober lives, you will have to "get" to know each other again; I hope you remain in love, and that the magic returns. Personally I have only been able to create new magic though, it seems to sometimes be difficult to move back and recreate old magic, because we are always changing. Thanks for your kind words, it means a great deal to me.

Hi Zeppie, Austboy, Cassia, and anyone else who pops in.
Hill

[choice]

The 30 somethings thread.

Hi Everyone,
I must have missed this thread the other day. I'm 37 and engaged. We are taking a break right now from each other and it's been a really good thing. We are both alcoholics and when I stopped drinking my fiance did a 30 day stint out of support he was a bit spiteful but non the less was able to do it... Since I've been gone he had a big New Years eve with some heavy drinkers and slumped into depression. So he decided to go AF for good and has been to one AA meeting. I'm really glad he has come to this decision while I wasn't there, and I'm so thankful that I have been able to just worry about my own drinking apart from him. This time with my family's support and time alone has been so valuable. My fiance is now 30 days AF and coming to visit me in 2 weeks.

I love him and I'm glad things are smoothing out but I feel a little sad that my time away is coming to an end and haven't missed him as much as I thought I would. I look forward to talking on the phone with him and I feel happy. I guess I just don't know what my feelings are at the moment. It was his idea that I leave so I feel like he kinda pushed me away and I feel distant. I keep trying to feel the way I did when we got engaged and can't. I think I'm just going to have to let this unfold as I can't seam to come up with a decision. Honestly I didn't anticipate him going AF, I also had no idea I'd function or cope so well away from him, I have in fact enjoyed being on my own. This is all very new emotions to be having for me. I am in awe of how much easier a hard time is when sober. So I guess I will have to see. I feel pretty calm. Thanks for listening.... I just saw people opening up about their feelings regarding partners and feelings.

Hillsidetime your support on my broken heart thread was so comforting. I hope your well, almost a year for you congrats in advance. Hello to everyone else, so far I really relate to much of what's being discussed here. Thank you!