getting rid of regret and negative thoughts

[holeymoleymeohmy]

For the most part i am doing well - better than I thought.
Last night my wife left on a work trip (she is a flight attendent) and i was sat at home, reading through the toolbox and i made a list of what i could lose in theory, if i continued with AL.
I thought about losing my wife, and then i thought about the time that i got hammered, blacked out and left her alone at a festival.
I can't get the hurt I caused her out of my mind. I know she has forgiven me for it, god she married me the next year.
However I can't help but regret the pain I caused her that one night.

What can be done to rid myself of this? should i "put it in a box" so to speak, and not deal with it? My wife has already said she views it as behind us, and the future is what counts - and that maybe i should use the example as a "that was then, but look at me now!" type of thing.

any ideas or suggestions would be good - i have felt so positive for the last few days, and don't want the negativity to stay with me

[tiredofthis]

getting rid of regret and negative thoughts

Hi, I am no expert but all I would say I take and accept your wife’s offer of forgiveness and embrace it but don't see it as an opportunity to repeat your mistake, we are all human and we do make mistakes - this lady clearly loves you and you clearly love her. Go forth and be happy and keep up the positivity of your last few days and don't beat yourself up too much. Good luck

[madmans]

getting rid of regret and negative thoughts

Hi Holeymoley , whats done has been done, we all have regrets and things that we can't change, the only thing we can change is our future and how we live our life from here on . I can understand your regret but you really have to let it go . "That was then, but look at me now!" is the way to go

[one2many]

getting rid of regret and negative thoughts

“Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.” Sydney Smith.

Holey, the past is gone, go out and make NEW memories, AF ones, ones you will remember with a smile.The rest of your life stretches out ahead of you, don't ruin it by carrying the past with you.

TODAY is a NEW day..USE IT!

[mario]

getting rid of regret and negative thoughts

Hi holeymoley
What's behind you is done. There is nothing that you can do to change what has happened, and I know from experience that dwelling on mistakes of the past does nothing but crush the spirit and waste any positive energy that we may have. I don't ever want to forget my past though. It's important to me. It is part of my make-up and I have had some wonderful times with some beautiful people and I've also had some darker times, when I thought there was little to do but fade away.Learn from your past but dont live in it. Keep moving forward :-)

[Doggygirl]

getting rid of regret and negative thoughts

Holey, what I have found is that the VERY BEST way to make ammends for my past mistakes is to do a much better job today. For me, that means staying sober today, and doing the best I can to do the next right thing. The past is gone. Tomorrow is off in the distance. Today is what matters, and where we can make a difference.

DG

[holeymoleymeohmy]

getting rid of regret and negative thoughts

thank you all - i don't even really know why it surfaced, I suppose I was sat thinking too much - maybe I should have surfed that emotion as much i try to with my urges for a beer every now and then.

A walk in the sun helped me back into a positive mindset, then arriving home and seeing these messages helped so so much. I have to make peace with what I did, and know I can't change it - but i can steer how I act today and tomorrow

Getting there...one day at a time

[KateH1]

getting rid of regret and negative thoughts

Hi holeymoley,

Great thoughts here! Double Ditto for what doggygirl said!

Be patient, changing our lives, takes time and a lot of effort. But it is so well worth every second of it!!

Best Wishes to You!
Kate