Set Back - Now time to Get Back

[Getting There]

Hi All: It has been a few months since I have posted. I am much more of a reader than a writer and I have found these forums helpful. I was (yes was) 120 days AF. Until last night. I have been doing just fine. Feeling and looking great. Exercising, taking 40mg of Bac per day and having only occasional cravings. I went out with friends last night to a local bar. I did not plan on drinking, in fact I didn't think much about it at all. All of the sudden I am sitting there at the bar and I ordered a glass of wine. I had 2.5 glasses of wine and then came home and had 2 more. I feel crappy both physically and mentally. This is the first time I have failed since I stopped drinking. I am very dissapointed and surprised. It totally snuck up on me proving that it is SO evil! As I contemplated why I did this I looked back on last night and realized that I really dislike who I become when I drink. I was loud and aggressive and not a very nice person. That is not who I am, that is what AL makes me. I am committed now more than ever to be AF in my life. I can not moderate. I poured the left over wine down the sink this morning. I am really mad at myself but also think that maybe I needed to do this. To REALLY realize that I can not drink at all. I need to keep reminding myself of that I am so much happier AF. Well - here's to starting over...... Day 1.

[timpin]

Set Back - Now time to Get Back

Hi Getting There

Do you really think that you need to go right back to day 1 ? I mean, you have done so well by doing 120 days and it's a pity to forget about that. Maybe that is what the little demon in your head wants you to do. Just an idea but why not call it 120 days with one little slip up ? Day 1 sounds so dramatic. I am on day 15 now and would like to stop counting soon and concentrate on looking forward rather than back ??

[DriftyAlison0]

Set Back - Now time to Get Back

I say starting at day 1 is a good thing. In my opinion if you keep going, you are setting yourself up for failure. I tried it myself, and I ended up drinking because of it. So if you slip, go back to day 1.

[timpin]

Set Back - Now time to Get Back

Hi Alison

Good to see you are AL free since May 21st. I'm interested to know whether you still feel like a drink at any time, or have you completely kicked the feeling ?

[Struggles 106]

Set Back - Now time to Get Back

About drinking again

Hey
Don't beat yourself up too much! Look at what you
learned. Maybe it's all part of the process.
4 months is great! You can do it; you've seen
that already.
Like you I hated who I became with alcohol.
I'm not sure why a particular incident was my
"bottom" but I'm terrified of drinking. Maybe it's
easier when the downward spiral is so obvious.
Take care and it's so nice to hear that this slip
isn't luring you back into the trap.

[Getting There]

Set Back - Now time to Get Back

Hi Timpin - For me I think going back to 1 is appropriate. It reminds me that I slipped and how quickly that can happen. I felt so crappy yesterday perhaps I was being a bit dramatic.... I feel like I am back on track and ready to face the holidays AF. I think I let my guard down and I need to remember not to do that when AL is involved. Congrats on 15 days. Good luck with your journey!

[Getting There]

Set Back - Now time to Get Back

Thanks, I am over beating myself up but it sure was a wake up call! In a way it was a good thing. In the back of my head I have been thinking - well you stopped for so long maybe now you can moderate and just have a glass of wine every once in a while... Now I know for sure that will not work. I can not moderate I have got to stop. The challenge for me is finding "things" to keep me occupied. Before I was occupied with work and drinking. Now it is just work which makes me a bit of a dull girl... I continue to look for joy and ways to feel fulfilled in my life without AL. I am getting there it is just harder than I thought it would be. Thanks for the words of support!

[Doggygirl]

Set Back - Now time to Get Back

Getting There;1211796 wrote: Hi Timpin - For me I think going back to 1 is appropriate. It reminds me that I slipped and how quickly that can happen. I felt so crappy yesterday perhaps I was being a bit dramatic.... I feel like I am back on track and ready to face the holidays AF. I think I let my guard down and I need to remember not to do that when AL is involved. Congrats on 15 days. Good luck with your journey!

Hi Getting there. Boy I can really relate to your experience. I guess "testing those waters" is just something most of us end up finding we "have to do." I sure wish I wouldn't have done it, because that "one drink" lasted for 8 months in my case!!!!

I think you are wise to take it very seriously and I would (and did) reset my counter too. The counter is just a number on the surface, but the way it works for me is inside me, it keeps me honest and reminds me what is at stake. And for me, the stakes with AL are very very high.

Good luck to you heading into the holidays, etc.

DG