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**Panno** · December 5, 2011, 08:32 AM

Army Thread 5th December

Mmmmm sounds yummy apart from the ketchup

**ladyjan** · December 5, 2011, 08:35 AM

Army Thread 5th December

Panno;1220852 wrote: Mmmmm sounds yummy apart from the ketchup

well I gotta be a slob at some point......:H

but it's lovely...all stringy runny cheese....mmmmm

**ladyjan** · December 5, 2011, 08:39 AM

Army Thread 5th December

we got normal spanish laziness this week......

today is the day of the teachers and students...so no school.....

tomorrow is holy immaculada....thursday is constitution day....

so most of the institutes & business take whats called a "puente"....and have the whole week off......!!so basically all week is holiday....! and we are in crisis...!!

**one2many** · December 5, 2011, 08:40 AM

Army Thread 5th December

NICE one Panno!!!

**one2many** · December 5, 2011, 08:40 AM

Army Thread 5th December

Saw this on Facebook and cracked up!

If youre not laughing out loud reading this then there is something seriously wrong with you ;-) **** HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN **** Take off clothes and place them sectioned in the laundry basket according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see boyfriend along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note todo more sit-ups/leg-lifts etc. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumicestone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it is clean. Condition your hair with conditioner enhanced with grapefruit andmint. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutesuntil red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mould spots with tile cleaner. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in a super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and the hand towel on head. If you see your boyfriend along the way, cover up any exposedareas. *** HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN *** Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave in a pileon the floor. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your girlfriend along the way, shake willy at her making the"woo-woo" sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse it off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Wee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out ofbath the whole time. Admire willy size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. If you pass the girlfriend, pull off towel, shake willy at her and makethe "woo-woo" sound again. Throw wet towel on bed. I KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING NOW BECAUSE MOST OF IT IS TRUE!!!

**Panno** · December 5, 2011, 08:46 AM

Army Thread 5th December

:H:H:H Who comes up with these, they are very observant !!

**Panno** · December 5, 2011, 08:47 AM

Army Thread 5th December

ladyjan;1220857 wrote: we got normal spanish laziness this week......

today is the day of the teachers and students...so no school.....

tomorrow is holy immaculada....thursday is constitution day....

so most of the institutes & business take whats called a "puente"....and have the whole week off......!!so basically all week is holiday....! and we are in crisis...!!

I know its crazy, I heard 3 stories on the radio this morning about people taking 3 - 4 weeks break from work.......how do they do that!!!

**ladyjan** · December 5, 2011, 08:48 AM

Army Thread 5th December

one2many;1220860 wrote: Saw this on Facebook and cracked up!

If youre not laughing out loud reading this then there is something seriously wrong with you ;-) **** HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN **** Take off clothes and place them sectioned in the laundry basket according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see boyfriend along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note todo more sit-ups/leg-lifts etc. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumicestone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it is clean. Condition your hair with conditioner enhanced with grapefruit andmint. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutesuntil red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mould spots with tile cleaner. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in a super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and the hand towel on head. If you see your boyfriend along the way, cover up any exposedareas. *** HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN *** Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave in a pileon the floor. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your girlfriend along the way, shake willy at her making the"woo-woo" sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse it off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Wee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out ofbath the whole time. Admire willy size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. If you pass the girlfriend, pull off towel, shake willy at her and makethe "woo-woo" sound again. Throw wet towel on bed. I KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING NOW BECAUSE MOST OF IT IS TRUE!!!

. I KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING NOW BECAUSE MOST OF IT IS TRUE!!![/ isn't it just 100% true....

good find Oney...well spotted..xx

**one2many** · December 5, 2011, 08:54 AM

Army Thread 5th December

Yo Janners, hope you are well xx

**Recluse** · December 5, 2011, 09:19 AM

Army Thread 5th December

:H:H:H I've just got out of the bath, and the wet towel is on the bed! :H:H:H

**one2many** · December 5, 2011, 09:20 AM

Army Thread 5th December

PMSL!!!

**ladyjan** · December 5, 2011, 09:37 AM

Army Thread 5th December

Recluse;1220877 wrote: I've just got out of the bath, and the wet towel is on the bed! :H

classic male..........

why oh why can they never pick up the towel..or put stinky sock round the right way..I hate doing that..lucky my male isn't too big, but his still stink...and Jamie's back in 12 days..washing machine is gonna be on in overdrive....!!

best thing I ever got is my tumble drier.....fucking time saver....I'd forgotten how great they are....!!

.

but WHY, WHY do they dump the wet towel on the clean dry bed.......

**Panno** · December 5, 2011, 09:45 AM

Army Thread 5th December

Recluse;1220877 wrote: :H:H:H I've just got out of the bath, and the wet towel is on the bed! :H:H:H

Hilarious !!

**ladyjan** · December 5, 2011, 09:57 AM

Army Thread 5th December

Recluse;1220877 wrote: I've just got out of the bath, and the wet towel is on the bed!

one word...."slob"..........:H:H

Hmmmmm or maybe two....lazy slob....!! :H:H

actually needs four....."typical male lazy slob"......:H:H

**ladyjan** · December 5, 2011, 10:30 AM

Army Thread 5th December

I do hope no offence was taken.... I was only playing......:upset:

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