Lunchtime drinking vs evening

[looking for peace]

I just wanted to see how many people here experience the same thing as me regarding drinking and time of day. I have thought about this a lot recently, probably because of the number of parties this time of year. Why is it that I am not tempted to drink at all at an afternoon function, but evening functions are the complete opposite?

I was at two afternoon luncheons recently where there was wine flowing and I wasn't the slightest bit tempted to have one. I was able to socialize really well with people. I met new people as well and had a great time and a lot of laughs. (So, there's more proof that the idea that booze is necessary to be social, witty, funny etc is just an illusion) Why is it that if it's an evening occasion I suddenly revert to being obsessed with getting to the bar before I even say hi to anyone? I think I need a drink to help me talk to people, make me amusing, make me less boring, etc.

Granted, there isn't as much drinking involved as a whole at lunchtime events, but it's available none the less. There's probably as much alcohol as if you were going out with people that just aren't big drinkers.

In the evenings I turn into a completely different person, obssessing and relying on a substance that I think will make the evening better, but it never turns out that way in the long run.

The question I have is how do I bring the same attitude to an evening party as I do to an afternoon party.

While I am at it, I must confess that I had 3 glasses of wine at my husband Xmas party last night. I am upset at myself, but getting back to AF today.

[FlyAway]

Lunchtime drinking vs evening

I'm the same as you; no desire to drink early in the day. Strange, isn't it?

[caysea]

Lunchtime drinking vs evening

Hi All
Shows you the aspect of a habit. Part of what has to be broken to live a sober lifestyle.


Stay Healthy and Keep Fighting
AF 5-16-08

[Unwasted]

Lunchtime drinking vs evening

LFP, I had this same exact problem over the past year of trying to mod/quit. I agree with Caysea that it's a deeply ingrained habit because that's the time of day you've always had your drinks. Obviously it can be changed given the success of so many here. Hope you can figure out something that works. I just kept at it and was determined because the downside of alcohol was so much worse than the upside for me.

Best to you.

[looking for peace]

Lunchtime drinking vs evening

Thanks for you responses. I just got back from yet another Xmas lunch in which the wine was sitting right in front of me. No desire to drink it though. I thought about the other drinkers. I thought what is the point to having even one? I know I can't have one I don't want to drink for the taste or for a slight feeling of relaxation. I want to drink to get drunk. So I need to drink the whole bottle. I told myself I would keep reminding myself of that this evening when I know the craving will hit.

You are right Caysea, it speaks to the ingrained habit it has become.

[Martie]

Lunchtime drinking vs evening

feeling the same!

LFP, I had the same exact issue last week. I went to a Christmas luncheon and was not bothered at all by people drinking all around me. But 3 hours later, a complete 180 degree turnaround. I couldn't stop obsessing about drinking at a dinner we had to go to.

I agree with you. I think it just proves that we don't need to drink to socialize and have fun. I go to plenty events during the day that don't require alcohol to enjoy. If it really did help us socialize and have fun, why wouldn't we want to drink it whenever we go out at breakfast, lunch and dinner? That also supports the argument Jason Vale makes in his book about alcohol not helping at all with socializing.

I have to go to a Christmas party tonite and maybe this evening I will visualize myself at a luncheon instead of a dinner. I'll see if that helps my mindset. Thank you for posting this LFP.

[Supercrew]

Lunchtime drinking vs evening

It's all about the way you perceive the situation. When I was 14 years old drinking never crossed my mind. Never even thought about it.

When I was 15 I had my first 6 pack after a football game on a Friday night. Guess what happened. Every Friday night after football games I perceived the need to drink beer. I never thought about drinking on Saturday or Sunday...just Friday night and it became a habit. Fast forward to 5 years ago, I never drank at lunch meetings. I never thought about it and never had the urge, until I was out with some customers who ordered some beers with their lunch. I did the same to fit in with the group, next thing you know I felt the urge to drink during the afternoons because I had a positive experience with it.

The reason why you have an urge to drink at an evening party is because your subconscious mind still believes that drinking is enjoyable and drinking at an evening function is socially acceptable. If you started drinking regularly at afternoon functions then it would probably create the urge to drink then also.

Your problem doesn't lie in the fact that you have an urge to drink at specific functions, your problem is the urge to drink...period. Until you embrace the thought that drinking is never an option and as long as you continue to try to drink moderately the dopamine levels in your brain will continue to spike during times when you think drinking is acceptable. The only way to make the urge go away is to quit drinking all together for an extended period of time so a specific event or a specific time of day, coupled with a thought of drinking doesn't emit dopamine into your brain to create the urge. As long as your subconscious mind thinks that drinking is an option dopamine will continue to be released.

Basically when I quit, dopamine was released as soon as I woke up urging me to find alcohol, and it continued until I went to bed. I was told the only way to reverse the urge was to quit drinking and change my perception of what alcohol was to me. Now I truly believe it is poison for me, and I have no urge to drink it....even at an evening Xmas party.

[FlyAway]

Lunchtime drinking vs evening

Great post Supercrew and I really believe it's true. Alcohol is poison. And it is a drug just like heroin or crack. I try to think of it as a drug or poison to shut off the cravings. I wouldn't be tempted one iota if a friend offered me a crack pipe. I'd think they were nuts and would walk away.

[Unwasted]

Lunchtime drinking vs evening

SC, I know I sound like a broken record, but your posts are absolutely brilliant (not to mention accurate). Thanks for reminding us of the key factors we need to always remember about the alcohol trap!

[Struggles 106]

Lunchtime drinking vs evening

Very intersting question

Wow. I agree with Super as usual, and I know that my music jam group has ALWAYS
been about drinking (to me) so I haven't been back yet.

I also wonder if there is a subconscious recognition of the fact that we know on some level that ONE will never do, and it's too dicey unless starting at a time of day when the desired
quantity can be achieved. As in a little voice somewhere saying " I'd better not start now; I've got stuff to do" more or less.

But yeah-time of day has to become irrelevant, as well as type of event, who's around or whatever. Alcohol has to be NOT AN OPTION.

[FlyAway]

Lunchtime drinking vs evening

So glad to see you here Ann!

[Supercrew]

Lunchtime drinking vs evening

Ann 221;1226385 wrote: Wow. I agree with Super as usual, and I know that my music jam group has ALWAYS
been about drinking (to me) so I haven't been back yet.

I also wonder if there is a subconscious recognition of the fact that we know on some level that ONE will never do, and it's too dicey unless starting at a time of day when the desired
quantity can be achieved. As in a little voice somewhere saying " I'd better not start now; I've got stuff to do" more or less.

But yeah-time of day has to become irrelevant, as well as type of event, who's around or whatever. Alcohol has to be NOT AN OPTION.

It's exactly like that Ann. It is a response like Pavlov's dog. We train ourselves to know when we should crave and have urges then the bell sounds and we start salivating. After reflecting on my 27 years of drinking I saw it progress to times than in the past I would have never thought of drinking to the point where it consumed my whole life. But by reflecting back I realized that although I have always over drank, which is a problem unto itself, the times I got the urges were learned. Once I realized that my drinking was not some incurable disease, and it had really nothing to do with the type of person I was and it had everything to do with how I programmed my brain to feel about alcohol, and how I programmed my brain to what is a good time to start drinking. This is when I started learning how to reprogram my subconscious to change my imbedded thoughts about alcohol which caused the Pavlov dog response which resulted in my urge to drink.

When I started viewing my drinking problem that way it became alot easier for me to understand and to fix my problem. Many people try to change people, places, and things, but I realized I had to get to the meat of the problem and not change the bell, but I had to change the response to the bell... basically I had to change my brain....if that makes any sense.

[looking for peace]

Lunchtime drinking vs evening

You are right SC, it is just like a Pavlov's dog's response. Sometimes I think that people that drink 24/7 are more "alcoholic" than me, but they have just allowed the daily number of pleasurable responses from alcohol to increase over time. I guess I thought that since I wasn't tempted at lunchtime, even though alcohol was all around me that I should be able to exhibit that same exact behavior in the evenings. I have been responding to the "bell" that rings for me starting at a certain time. It's that instantaneous, the mind switches on cue, it's not a long drawn out discussion in my brain..... It's like a snap of the fingures. Thanks for the insight. I will follow your advice. This response can be unlearned, just as it was learned.

By the way Ann, I agree with what you said about somewhere inside our brains we know it wouldn't be practical for us to start at lunchtime, because of the one is not enough, so we wait until later.

[Martie]

Lunchtime drinking vs evening

I really like all of the comments here. I remember Pavlov from my college psychology classes. I looked it up to refresh my memory. A lot of our behavior is indeed learned. The only way to extinguish a behavior is to not respond to "the bell" for some length of time. Eventually it will die out.

I hope it dies out soon. I have another party tonite. I know I will be around a lot of drinking. Another party tomorrow but it's a family party were they usually just have some sort of punch and its pretty easy for me to resist in that situation.

[Meech]

Lunchtime drinking vs evening

I think many of us here wants more than anything to re-program our minds from this horrible habit/addiciton.

Going back to your first post on this thread LFP, I think you were looking for some tips or tools to get in your "lunchtime" mindset during the evening hours. That's what I also need so when the "evening craving hours hit" I am more able to remain AF.

I totally agree with SS's posts, it's just discovering as many methods or tools to GET US THERE.

If, or more like when the urges hit tonight I will think of Pavlov's Dog and re-training my brain. But I will also VISUALIZE how I feel as if I am in the "lunchtime moment" and see if that at least dulls the cravings. Whatever it takes to stay AF right?

I hope we all have a wonderful, social, clear-headed sober weekend!!!!