Army Thread Monday 12 March

[satz123]

Army Thread Monday 12 March

one2many;1278968 wrote: Thought for the day. This really resonated with me....I am going to stop people pleasing, waiting for others to say it is ok and most of all, taking on other peoples shite and bad moods as an indication that I did something wrong, I have practiced this over the past week and it has made a world of difference!


When we search for ?ourselves? in the eyes of others, we have imprisoned our own-selves in believing that our self-worth is nothing unless others validate who we are. Unless we approve of whom we are, what we are, and what we are capable of doing as an individual, only then we will have released ?ourselves? from our own imprisonment. We are in charge of our own life?s destiny and what we do and become can only be validated by our accomplishments and failures; not by what others may think of us. ?Dahveed

BRILLIANT - I have printed that off and going up in my office here - thanks Oney

[one2many]

Army Thread Monday 12 March

Welcome Satz!

[anon]

Army Thread Monday 12 March

Nice post Oney. I am sensitive to other peoples moods which I like but--- I have to stop the projection of their, or the assumption of their stuff onto me.

Satz I started running about 12 years ago after a serious back injury.Long story short I started by running for a minute and walking for a minute. 10 minutes total. I did that 4 times a week and increased the time by 5 minutes a week. Until I got to 30 minutes. I then aimed to run for 20 minutes and increased it as often as i felt able.
I thought if I could just run a mile that would be fab!

Once I ditched the booze running improved dramatically. If I can run anyone can I never ran a step before 50.

[satz123]

Army Thread Monday 12 March

one2many;1278979 wrote: Welcome Satz!

Oney - only getting to know folk.
Am I picking up on you being into spiritual 'stuff' ?

[one2many]

Army Thread Monday 12 March

Yes I am honey xx

[JackieClaire]

Army Thread Monday 12 March

one2many;1278968 wrote: Thought for the day. This really resonated with me....I am going to stop people pleasing, waiting for others to say it is ok and most of all, taking on other peoples shite and bad moods as an indication that I did something wrong, I have practiced this over the past week and it has made a world of difference!


When we search for ?ourselves? in the eyes of others, we have imprisoned our own-selves in believing that our self-worth is nothing unless others validate who we are. Unless we approve of whom we are, what we are, and what we are capable of doing as an individual, only then we will have released ?ourselves? from our own imprisonment. We are in charge of our own life?s destiny and what we do and become can only be validated by our accomplishments and failures; not by what others may think of us. ?Dahveed

Oh good grief. That could have been personally written for me.

[JackieClaire]

Army Thread Monday 12 March

Morning Satz.

It's a hiya and biya from moi.

Orff to see the practice nurse.

Bacinabit.

[satz123]

Army Thread Monday 12 March

anon;1278980 wrote: Nice post Oney. I am sensitive to other peoples moods which I like but--- I have to stop the projection of their, or the assumption of their stuff onto me.

Satz I started running about 12 years ago after a serious back injury.Long story short I started by running for a minute and walking for a minute. 10 minutes total. I did that 4 times a week and increased the time by 5 minutes a week. Until I got to 30 minutes. I then aimed to run for 20 minutes and increased it as often as i felt able.
I thought if I could just run a mile that would be fab!

Once I ditched the booze running improved dramatically. If I can run anyone can I never ran a step before 50.

BRILLIANT : Now you are running marathans - that is truly AWESOME. I'm not joking . I am now going use you as my inspiration and to remember this when I start trying to run. I am ( I think ) a little younger than you - so I should be well able for it ! Me knees give me jip sometimes but I think that just stifffness from being forced to sit for 8 hours a day :upset:

[stirly-girly]

Army Thread Monday 12 March

Good Morning Army!!!

A huge, huge happy birthday to Ava!!



Jackie - good to hear you're feeling right as rain. You gave us a bit of a scare yesterday.

Mrs. A - here's a big :huggy for you. Good for recognizing the blues and working to get through them. Don't let others around you get you down.

Oney - love that quote.

As for Ava - I read something recently and it was about how we influence how our children look at others and how we do it without really realizing it. It's something that I think all of us are guilty of and something we really should be careful to try and not do. When we make negative comments on the appearance of others - their hair, their weight, whether they have a big nose or a bald head, we teach our children that people should be judged on their looks, not on their personality. I have a friend who is very overweight and certainly not the most attractive woman you've ever seen. Plain would be the word people might use. I think she's beautiful because she is one of the kindest, most giving people I know, and she's funny as hell to boot - a delight to be with. She is my age and has never married and was only ever once in a relationship for any length of time. In fact, he may have been her only boyfriend. No man could get past her looks and love her for the person she is. And I know that we have all been teased at one time or another when we were younger by our classmates, either for the clothes we wore or how we combed our hair, the fact that we wore glasses or were chubby. Kids can be cruel with their comments and mostly they learn that from us. They hear us comment negatively about others' appearances and, not having learned the tact that adults have, who say things behind other people's backs, kids say it to their faces. And sometimes the result is that children get hang-ups about their appearance from a very young age and it is very difficult for them to overcome. Good for you on bolstering Ava's confidence. She is indeed a beautiful little girl and I hope that, as you say, she can see what others see.

Hiya!! to Molly and Satz!!:wavin:

See you later, Jackie - it was great talking to you.

Hope Mario and everyone else who's working today has a productive day.

[satz123]

Army Thread Monday 12 March

one2many;1278982 wrote: Yes I am honey xx

Ever heard of Abraham - Hicks? Just throwing this out there .
These are spiritual guides. Something I've been looking into for a few years ! Totally believe in their 'stuff'

[anon]

Army Thread Monday 12 March

JackieClaire;1278984 wrote: Morning Satz.

It's a hiya and biya from moi.

Orff to see the practice nurse.

Bacinabit.

Well I hope she is not practising on you:H I do hope s/he has perfected her/his technique.

Off to the dentist for a checkup.

I was pondering on my run this morning about how the past makes us the people we are today and makes sense of the present. It should also give us the tools to move on as we have managed to get here today. Sounds a bit clumsy but I found it a helpful train of thought.

[one2many]

Army Thread Monday 12 March

Hiya Stirls, I hope I have not passed anything negative onto Ava, you all know my sense of humour and sometimes, I suppose I may have said something derogatory about someone in front of her witout meaning to, in a jokey way and certainly, I hope, not in a hurtful way, but maybe calling someone rude a scabby pox might be seem in this light, I will be more watchful in future.

I try everyday to boost her confidence, I tell her she is beautiful inside and out, I tell her that we all come in different shapes and sizes and that size does not matter and that I am a tiny Mammy!

Being small, getting glasses and losing her front tooth have taken its toll on her to be honest but I am making sure she hears every day about how beautiful she is.


Satz, I have the Abraham perpetual calendar here in front of me..manifesting as we speak!

[stirly-girly]

Army Thread Monday 12 March

one2many;1278990 wrote: Hiya Stirls, I hope I have not passed anything negative onto Ava, you all know my sense of humour and sometimes, I suppose I may have said something derogatory about someone in front of her witout meaning to, in a jokey way and certainly, I hope, not in a hurtful way, but maybe calling someone rude a scabby pox might be seem in this light, I will be more watchful in future.

I try everyday to boost her confidence, I tell her she is beautiful inside and out, I tell her that we all come in different shapes and sizes and that size does not matter and that I am a tiny Mammy!

Being small, getting glasses and losing her front tooth have taken its toll on her to be honest but I am making sure she hears every day about how beautiful she is.


Satz, I have the Abraham perpetual calendar here in front of me..manifesting as we speak!

Oney dear, I wasn't commenting on you in particular, it was a general comment based on what I had read and I just thought it somehow related to Ava's negative image of herself which could have come about by other kids teasing her. I didn't mean that you or any of us would say anything intentionally, it's just something we all do at one time or another without thinking about what we're saying and how that can influence our kids. Lord knows I've been guilty of it lots of times. It's just that the article I read made me realize how wrong it is when we make negative comments about others in front of our kids. They will imitate us. That's why kids will tease other kids about things like having to wear glasses or being smaller than other kids their age because they learn it from us but they don't realize that we make comments about others out of their hearing range and kids say it to their faces. That's the part that hurts. I've said it before and I'll say it again - you and Rob have done a great job raising your kids. It shows through your posts and the pictures you have posted and I got it first hand from Jackie, how sweet and polite they were with strangers. And calling someone who is rude a scabby pox is just what they deserve. :H:H

Molly, I can imagine how your mother's comments hurt you. I was always chubby as a child. Not fat, but chubby, while my sister, two years younger, was normal weight. I can still remember relatives saying that I was a pretty girl, too bad that I was chubby. You can imagine how that made me feel. And my sister won a beauty contest when she was just 2 years old. She was a beautiful little girl so deserved it, but that and the relatives comments always made me feel inferior, looks-wise. No one ever commented on what a brat she could be and how I was always the older, protective sister keeping her out of trouble. It was my weight they commented on. Grrr.....

[stirly-girly]

Army Thread Monday 12 March

mollyka;1278992 wrote: Feck, youse'll all be sick of me this morn. - I'll be off to work soon - don't worry!!
Just another thought -- another very big flaw I have, and that used to end up contributing to my drinking, is procrastinating. I have 'lists' of jobs to be done in my head -- they build and build, and before I know where I am, I'm thinking 'fuck I do everything round here, I've so much to do, poor me poor me poor me'. This morn. I had a 'list' and was falling into that headspace. The list involved - exercise bike, piano, and cleaning out the chickens. I've just done them all, in less than half an hour - that's all it took, but I'm feeling good, the 'list' is gone, and no pity party going on, very important to me. Hope that makes SOME sense to someone??

Oh dear, next to the word "procrastinator" in the dictionary, is my picture. Even when I make lists I never get through them because I leave so many things that need to be done and when I finally get the list made, there's more than I can possibly do in the time I have to do them.

Saying that, I must be off to the supermarket and the bank before I get even more behind.

Mrs. A - good luck with the dentist and with having more positive thoughts about what you've accomplished. Put all those "what if" thoughts in the bin where they belong.

Hope you all have a positive day!!!

[one2many]

Army Thread Monday 12 March

No Stirls, I understand what you meant. I have too often said...oh my God look at yer wans legs in that shirt....I KNOW I have, Ava would have been listening, I can see how negative that is now, that is an eye opener, THANK you!

My mother was EXTREMELY hurtful to me as a kid, I was VERY VERY ugly, extremely so. I was so small with freckles and when I was 10 all the hairs in one of my eyebrows and eyelashs turned white, so it looked like I had one eye smaller than the other. I was very underdeveloped physically when I hit my teens and my mother used to delight in pointing out curvy girls with boobs to me and say "she is the same age as YOU!"
When I was 12 we were walking down the road and this little kid made a comment to her mother "Mammy what happened that little girls eye?" I remember my mother stiffening and said to me "OMG, did you hear what that child said about you, I hate the way your eye is, people staring at you"

It was like a bullet to my heart. As if it was my fault. I remember getting my photo taken in school and it was a particularly horrible one, I was shitting it to bring it home because I knew what she would say and I was right. She said "How the hell can I hang that up, it's awful"

When she realised that my eyebrow and eyelash could be tinted and I got it done, her reply was "oh you are my little girl again now"

I grew up with terrible insecurities about the way I looked, even when I think back now, I can feel the same pain in my heart and that look on my mothers face when someone commented on how small I was or about my eye. I used to think my mother hated me and only loved my brothers because they were good looking and cute.

Of course my mother has changed and is forever telling me I am beautiful etc etc but it really did affect me as a kid, she had her own shit going on living with a chronic alcoholic tho and I suppose, I bore the brunt of it.

BUT!!!!!! some good to come out of that is I am SO vigilant with my own children, always telling them how gorgeous, clever and special they are, their confidence and manners are proof to me I am doing the best job I can. I would never want them to feel worthless and ugly like I did, it is soul destroying for a child.