Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

SATURDAY GRATITUDE

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 1
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous template Next
    #1

    SATURDAY GRATITUDE

    Again thank you for all the support. It is a beautiful day here and I'm feeling rather humble.
    I guess humbled by the power of something that can hurt me so much and do so much damage, yet some part of me wants that I guess.
    Part of my new plan is slowing WAY down, not trying to change the world in a day so to speak. I have to let it be enough to wake up with gratitude and move through the day with as much grace and determination as possible.
    It's good to realize that, in the end, all that matters is that I can KNOW every day that I've done the best I can. The opinions or shaming or chatter of other people have no bearing on anything that impacts me. The only one who can take care of me is clearly just me.
    I have been thinking that it would be nice to have friends who don't drink at all to hang out with. For this reason I was considering some AA meetings but I don't think I can do that.
    The religiosity is too much. There are other ways to meet people of course.
    At this early point I'm just glad my new car is intact and I didn't kill myself or anyone else.
    One day at a time, slowly, without pressure on myself to DO all sorts of things.
    I intend to be far more careful, and I will be taking the Antabuse w/o doctor support. I am actually going to email my doctor and advise him that I am taking it.
    SO....on we go. The road is long and we are on different parts of it. I just want to stay off the one that says DEAD END.
    Tags: None
    #2
    SATURDAY GRATITUDE

    Great post Ann. In the beginning i did this on blind faith that this was what i had to do no matter what anyone says, thinks or does. I too do not have many people around me who are not drinkers. I had to accept this was about me and no one else.

    I too thought AA might be a good way to meet non drinking friends, but after trying many meetings over the years (before and after i quit drinking) i realized it was not working out the way i had hoped. Maybe i will try again in the future. It is important to have like minded people around you. That is why i rely on this site for support.

    Keep up with the posting here and the antabuse and i know you will do this. You obviously know how to do this, you have had some great sober time and you have been a huge inspiration here.
    AL free since March 17th 2011...loving this life. No drinking no matter what.

    Hi my name is Lori and i am so happy to be here.

    Comment

      #3
      SATURDAY GRATITUDE

      Most of us start a recovery program in deprivation mode. Some people stay there forever. Those people tend not to be able to create a consistently successful program, or life, of freedom from alcohol and its devastation. Some of us transition into gratitude mode.

      For most of us, Gratitude Mode does not just happen all by itself. We have to make it happen. If we want to shift into gratitude mode, we learn to cultivate it. We cultivate it by being careful about our thoughts, and about what we notice. If we find ourselves thinking about how wonderful it would be to have a drink, we deliberately shift attention away from this train of thought, and we deliberately choose to think about how good it is to know we will never humiliate ourselves with alcohol again, never again have another horrible hangover, never disappoint our children again with the way we are when we get drunk. We notice alcohol advertising, pay attention to how it makes us feel, and detach from the message by noticing how distorted the message is.

      That kind of thinking is crucial. We literally can BUILD a new way of thinking and feeling about things. And I think that's something to be grateful for, in itself :goodjob:

      __________________


      :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

      Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
      I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

      This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

      Comment

        #4
        SATURDAY GRATITUDE

        THANKS

        I agree that the thinking has to change. ALL the time. I have to be vigilant and keep the right train of thought going.
        Something that helps me is this thought: my daughter is on the USS Abraham Lincoln, and the thought of her being notified that something has happened to me. It would be devastating for her, and though I need to do this for myself that thought helps me in the fight. By "something has happened to me" of course I mean as a result of stupid ass drinking.
        The sober time that I did have has changed me. Over 3 months at a stretch and it was great. My one friend who knows I'm struggling said yesterday-after I said being addicted to something really sucks-"yeah I bet it does". But really though she has a lot to be grateful for she is rather negative. It took me a long time to realize that what makes me happy is different from anyone else. THis same friend the other day was angry with someone and said "I am going to make her suffer." The only reason I'm bringing this up is as a reminder of how I refuse to be. Peace and tranquility,lack of judgement, breathe in breathe out. It all doesn't have to be so damn hard.

        Comment

          #5
          SATURDAY GRATITUDE

          Ann 221;1281939 wrote: I agree that the thinking has to change. ALL the time. I have to be vigilant and keep the right train of thought going.
          Something that helps me is this thought: my daughter is on the USS Abraham Lincoln, and the thought of her being notified that something has happened to me. It would be devastating for her, and though I need to do this for myself that thought helps me in the fight. By "something has happened to me" of course I mean as a result of stupid ass drinking.
          The sober time that I did have has changed me. Over 3 months at a stretch and it was great. My one friend who knows I'm struggling said yesterday-after I said being addicted to something really sucks-"yeah I bet it does". But really though she has a lot to be grateful for she is rather negative. It took me a long time to realize that what makes me happy is different from anyone else. THis same friend the other day was angry with someone and said "I am going to make her suffer." The only reason I'm bringing this up is as a reminder of how I refuse to be. Peace and tranquility,lack of judgement, breathe in breathe out. It all doesn't have to be so damn hard.
          I am not being smart or funny Ann221 but if it was easy none of us would be here.


          :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

          Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
          I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

          This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

          Comment

            #6
            SATURDAY GRATITUDE

            I get your point

            I agree Mario, but I meant something else. I meant that I want to be able to relax into the day...not put pressure on myself...realize on a deeper level that I am OK just the way I am...
            I guess I really meant I shouldn't be so hard on myself. It's not the abstinence that's hard to me-it's the living sober.
            Sorry to be vague-I know this is hard. Now that I think about it I did mean that I should not be so hard on myself day in and day out.
            I have come a long way but I still need to accept what I am and am not.

            Now I'm feeling bummed out and I don't want to do that. I'll get moving now to accomplish something.

            Comment

              #7
              SATURDAY GRATITUDE

              Mario and Ann you both make valid points. I for one believe it should not be this hard, this life that causes us to want escape in either a bottle or drugs or shopping, food, sex. You name it and I'd say not one of us does not just live and be as it should be--we all have learned to be cogs in the machine and do it the best we can. I believe we need to go back to basics of our inherent rights and being to truly live free.
              Psalms 119:45


              ?Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.?

              St. Francis of Assisi



              I'm not perfect, never will be, but better than I was and not as good as I'm going to be.

              :rays:

              Comment

                #8
                SATURDAY GRATITUDE

                Hello Anne,

                Interesting posts. I agree the thinking really needs to change and I agree with Mario - that can be a reward in itself.

                I am extremetly grateful that today I am not drinking, I have not desire to drink and I could care less if I never drink again. That's how I feel for today, and I know any of that could change tomorrow, but for today I'm very grateful that those are my feelings.

                Comment

                Previous template Next
                Working...
                X