Army Thread Monday 11th April

[JackieClaire]

Army Thread Monday 11th April

pingu1997;1295355 wrote: don't worry about it my lovely
I'm not that interesting anyway

Are you pencil fishing for compliments.

Howsabout. Being a musician what can play umpteen instruments while looking very pretty, pierced and tattooed with two gorgeous children.

That's all yer getting mind.

[pingu1997]

Army Thread Monday 11th April

JackieClaire;1295364 wrote: Are you pencil fishing for compliments.

Howsabout. Being a musician what can play umpteen instruments while looking very pretty, pierced and tattooed with two gorgeous children.

That's all yer getting mind.

haha I needed a good belly laugh LOL
no, not pencil fishing at all, haha another great pun
just feeling a bit bleurgh atm, since I passed a year without drinking I have been thinking about trying again, to drink sensibly and I'm torn between my head and heart.. maybe one day I'll start a thread, I know in truth it could be a disaster but I really miss it sometimes and grrrrrrrrrr really really loud.. and I hate my meds too as molly and oney found out the other night when I went off on one about them

my kids are gorgeous though, I can't disagree with that one. But they drive me bonkers!

[JackieClaire]

Army Thread Monday 11th April

noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Not the moderation argument.:upset:

Too much like hard work.

Honestly I can guarantee the 2nd year is way better than the first. All your firsts are over and done with with. 1st AF Christmas, 1st AF birthday, 1st anniversary of making a complete tit of yourself etc.

[pingu1997]

Army Thread Monday 11th April

JackieClaire;1295369 wrote: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Not the moderation argument.:upset:

Too much like hard work.

Honestly I can guarantee the 2nd year is way better than the first. All your firsts are over and done with with. 1st AF Christmas, 1st AF birthday, 1st anniversary of making a complete tit of yourself etc.

it's not starting better tho, since I got over the first year and all the happy dances, I have never felt so unsettled. Something doesn't feel right about it now
BAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH with big bloody balls on it, it is pissing me orf big time now
Tigger's in the bath, 15 minutes of quiet time for me, and a wet floor at the end of it

[JackieClaire]

Army Thread Monday 11th April

Now as you know I'm a totally unqualified doctor and brain surgeon but I reckon you've got a bad case of the post first year AF blues.

Had them meself. Like you said we've done our happy dancing on the milestones and now have to get back to the nitty gritty of actually living sober. It does pass.

[pingu1997]

Army Thread Monday 11th April

JackieClaire;1295372 wrote: Now as you know I'm a totally unqualified doctor and brain surgeon but I reckon you've got a bad case of the post first year AF blues.

Had them meself. Like you said we've done our happy dancing on the milestones and now have to get back to the nitty gritty of actually living sober. It does pass.

thanks dr JC, I needed to hear that, I thought I was going ga-ga
I got all excited and happy danced at the anniversary, since then I feel like someone's hit me on the head with a damn big sad hammer
I hope it fecks off soon, it is starting to annoy me

[tiptronic_ct]

Army Thread Monday 11th April

The feeling passes, PinguPants :l

Hi again Army. Mrs. T just home - she had to work late.

[mario]

Army Thread Monday 11th April

pingu 1997;1295371 wrote: it's not starting better tho, since I got over the first year and all the happy dances, I have never felt so unsettled. Something doesn't feel right about it now
BAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH with big bloody balls on it, it is pissing me of big time now
Tigger's in the bath, 15 minutes of quiet time for me, and a wet floor at the end of it

Pingu why did you stop in the first place ? Sometimes its good to go back and remember why we are all here in the first place,as it certainly wasn't because we could control our drinking.We all get these moments and times when we wish we could be normal and controlled drinkers and in my time in this battle I have never met a problem/abusive/alcoholic drinker who went back drinking and controlled it.

Guitarist and green eyes went back drinking for there own personal reasons and then stopped again,so maybe,just maybe you might want to do the same.The choice is always with oneself.

[stirly-girly]

Army Thread Monday 11th April

pingu1997;1295373 wrote: thanks dr JC, I needed to hear that, I thought I was going ga-ga
I got all excited and happy danced at the anniversary, since then I feel like someone's hit me on the head with a damn big sad hammer
I hope it fecks off soon, it is starting to annoy me

What Jackie said. It's kind of like a big build up to the 1st anniversary day and then - What happens now? It's almost like we expect something to change from one day to the next but basically nothing does. Life just goes on as it did before. And we're sitting there wondering how come we didn't get some big prize for being so good and working so hard on staying sober, and we think there's no reward. The truth is, we've given our self the biggest prize/reward of all by staying sober. We are no longer ruining our health by pouring AL down our throat, we can look at ourselves in the mirror every morning and give ourselves a thumbs up that once again we woke up sober. And best of all we can actually like ourselves for the person we are and not the drunk we had become. And there is no doubt that our families benefit greatly from us being sober. So, my fellow purple-lover, don't even think about having even a wee sip of AL. He's a greedy fecker and will get back into you as soon as he can and suck the very life out of you. You deserve much better than that.:huggy

[JackieClaire]

Army Thread Monday 11th April

Ooh hello there Tipperoooooo,

[mario]

Army Thread Monday 11th April

One2many posted this before,it says a lot.............................

When I ditched the booze....
I thought.....................
My life would change....

I would become happier, more confident, everything would slot into place, my troubles would be over, I would be on easy street, Nothing would worry me or upset me, life would be a piece of cake, my brain would work differently, I would be happy all the time, I would no longer have depression or sad thoughts, I would have a wonderful life, people would applaud me, fanfares would sound and angels would sing..

NOTHING prepared me for the brutal reality that this wasn't the case.
I felt cheated and disappointed and somewhat angry that I had put in all the work to kick booze and I didn't feel any different, my life was NOT any better, and yes I wondered why I even bothered...what was the bloody point..you were meant to feel better..right?? It was meant to get better? Life was meant to change.....

It didn't except for...

My clear head in the mornings and the feel of clarity on waking...

No hangovers, headaches and sick tummy..

No flashbacks of things said and done and no cringe factor upon remembering.

The bedtime stories now told lovingly to my grandchildren instead of the excuses as to why I couldnt read them as I had to go and relax with first drink of the evening or the pub.

The money I have saved by not buying alcohol and smokes.

The compliments I have received telling me how well I look.

The feeling of freedom knowing that alcohol has no hold over me, I have broken free of its power and I am living independant of it.

The problems that are there are now being dealt with and not swept under the carpet in a drunken haze.

The little pieces of me that emerge day to day...new pieces of my personality that have been stifled by alcohol.

The feeling of LIVING and not just drifting along from day to day doing the same old thing and expecting different results.

The feeling of acomplishment, and getting to like myself again ( I am not at the loving myself bit yet but still working on it, we are all a work in progress)

The knowledge that, although I felt like a fish out of water the first few times I went out socially, it is slowly but surely getting much better and easier to handle and when I look around and see some of the antics going on , I feel blessed that I have made the decision not to be the ringleader any more.

The chance to FEEL........I mean really feel...all my emotions...without the crippling distorted illusion of alcohol..I can identify my feelings and deal with them accordingly.

And finally the realisation that my problems are still there, money worries still present, sadness, fear and confusion are with me on a regular basis...BUT I can deal with them now...feel them, understand them and know why I am feeling this way..instead of burying them or intensifying them with the help of alcohol.

In conclusion....life is not all sweetness and light, not the perfect world I did expect it to be..but it is a Utopia in comparison to the one I was existing in and for that I will be eternally grateful.
__________________

[mario]

Army Thread Monday 11th April

One2many posted this before,it says a lot.............................

When I ditched the booze....
I thought.....................
My life would change....

I would become happier, more confident, everything would slot into place, my troubles would be over, I would be on easy street, Nothing would worry me or upset me, life would be a piece of cake, my brain would work differently, I would be happy all the time, I would no longer have depression or sad thoughts, I would have a wonderful life, people would applaud me, fanfares would sound and angels would sing..

NOTHING prepared me for the brutal reality that this wasn't the case.
I felt cheated and disappointed and somewhat angry that I had put in all the work to kick booze and I didn't feel any different, my life was NOT any better, and yes I wondered why I even bothered...what was the bloody point..you were meant to feel better..right?? It was meant to get better? Life was meant to change.....

It didn't except for...

My clear head in the mornings and the feel of clarity on waking...

No hangovers, headaches and sick tummy..

No flashbacks of things said and done and no cringe factor upon remembering.

The bedtime stories now told lovingly to my grandchildren instead of the excuses as to why I couldnt read them as I had to go and relax with first drink of the evening or the pub.

The money I have saved by not buying alcohol and smokes.

The compliments I have received telling me how well I look.

The feeling of freedom knowing that alcohol has no hold over me, I have broken free of its power and I am living independant of it.

The problems that are there are now being dealt with and not swept under the carpet in a drunken haze.

The little pieces of me that emerge day to day...new pieces of my personality that have been stifled by alcohol.

The feeling of LIVING and not just drifting along from day to day doing the same old thing and expecting different results.

The feeling of acomplishment, and getting to like myself again ( I am not at the loving myself bit yet but still working on it, we are all a work in progress)

The knowledge that, although I felt like a fish out of water the first few times I went out socially, it is slowly but surely getting much better and easier to handle and when I look around and see some of the antics going on , I feel blessed that I have made the decision not to be the ringleader any more.

The chance to FEEL........I mean really feel...all my emotions...without the crippling distorted illusion of alcohol..I can identify my feelings and deal with them accordingly.

And finally the realisation that my problems are still there, money worries still present, sadness, fear and confusion are with me on a regular basis...BUT I can deal with them now...feel them, understand them and know why I am feeling this way..instead of burying them or intensifying them with the help of alcohol.

In conclusion....life is not all sweetness and light, not the perfect world I did expect it to be..but it is a Utopia in comparison to the one I was existing in and for that I will be eternally grateful.
__________________

[pingu1997]

Army Thread Monday 11th April

Just hauled Tigger out of a cold skanky bath..... gross
thank you for that post Mario and for Stirly and Dr JC for what you said
I wish I could say they brought a tear to my eye but my poxy medication has deprived me of all emotion for the past year. And yeah that pisses me off too
Apprentice on tonight..... anyone else watching?

[JackieClaire]

Army Thread Monday 11th April

Shall I poke a sharp stick in yer eye just to make your eyes water a bit.

No Apprentice it's an CSI fest tonight.

[pingu1997]

Army Thread Monday 11th April

Zenstyle;1295396 wrote: Jaysus! Ouch!!!!! :H:H:H

oh yeah, but make it a really sharp stick, I do have a bit of a fettish for sharp objects.....