who am i?

[treetops]

who am i?

Pauly you know I am supporting you and you can do this.
Have you seen a Doctor lately to get your hormone levels checked?
Just a thought.
I used to drink much more just before my period And to deal with period pain
Of course not an issue for an old lady like me now. One benefit of getting on in the years

Xxxx

[paulywogg]

who am i?

No but i need to tt,something is off in that department i think,theres no way that im so completely normal and then poof,i turn into a train wreck

[sunshine_gg]

who am i?

Hey Pauly,

Just want to give you a :l. Don't give up.
I also had a much harder time/fall just before 'that time of the month'. I think, my doctor recommended lots of calcium - not that I ever took it, of course. In any case.. what TT said... might want to check hormone levels, etc.

[paulywogg]

who am i?

Yesterday wouldve been my 60 days that irritates me bad! but oh well i cant dwell on it i just have absolutely got to stick it out this time,im tired of wishing i had a time machine to go back and change things! so stupid i dont i wont,but i CAN change my future and this asinine behavior i was reading back over this thread and theres a pattern that keeps happening too many "slips"screw that theres no slips its a voluntary fall into hell,plus new manager at work she knows my history cuz i got busted before for drinking on the job,if she caught me again id be fired fo sho! so now im using 5 htp,l-theanine,vitamins,need to bring back exercise havent done ANYTHING since i think august?i still lost 10 pounds thoughdidnt really need to,i think its just been stress,so im gonna use the theanine for this week while im on antibiotics,im gonna avoid 5 htp because you never know of a weirdo reaction with pills,theanine is pretty safe,if i dont feel a reduction in stress after a week im gonna use lemon balm,ive taken it before and had decent results,bit im not great at sticking with a supp,i just dont understand how some people come here and just quit and ive been here over a year and keep dickin around! its not like im not serious about quitting i really need/want it,i just need the key to quit and stay that way!

[istym4me]

who am i?

Paulywogg- You aren't dicking around... you are working on yourself. It's your journey. I can bet most, if not all the people that come here and seem to brilliantly just do it, have tried many, many times before. I have been here before, even on MWO- I just can't remember what my log in was and don't care to find it. I just don't want to know. Maybe, I should. Could add to my understanding of myself, who knows.

I do know it doesn't help to beat yourself up. You might want to forget the 60 day bit if it's bothering you, making you feel that was a failure and just say- I WENT 40 DAYS SOBER!!! Yippee for me. And now you are... 13 days? Is that right, so almost two weeks again. I don't think the the words again is bad either. It means you have had stretches of sobriety that YOU WORKED FOR! Each day is a success. (Can you post this back to me if I ever get on myself? )

Be kind to yourself.

[paulywogg]

who am i?

Its true itsmy,13 days ago i didnt know if id have 2 weeks again,bleh it has to be a balance of forgiving myself but also being hard on myself,if im too easy on myself i have less motivation to stay quit,i wish this repulsive feeling i have right now about al would stay forever,no getting the fuckits in a couple more weeks

[paulywogg]

who am i?

Posting the day after thanksgiving to happily report that i stayed sober! i felt a little wobbily on wednesday cuz all everybody kept talking about was drinking,football and beer,wine and dinner yada,yada,last year i started off pretty strong i think i waz 10 days sober,then around noon the noise,the cooking stress,the smell of the food all of it just triggered something and i drank then we i went gambling with kellie and her bf and drank more,yuck thanksgiving 2011 was what i used as a detterent yesterday,i woke up early to cook and stsrted drinking,i ate a sloppy plate when it was all done and went upstairs and passed out at 1 pm,my kids were baffled,hubs was mad,wondering why we werent sititing together having a proper thanksgiving,that is one of my WORST memories ever and i couldnt fathom doing that yesterday and hede i am this morning finally starting to build a foundation of pride in myself

[paulywogg]

who am i?

DHappy to be here this morning to report i had my first sober thanksgiving in 8 years woo-hoo,and it was fun,i wasnt sitting around thinking about al at all! i felt a little wobbly on wednesday cuz everybody kept talking about booze for thanksgiving,football and beers,dinner with wine yada,yada,i wondered how id do uoecuz last year i started off strong but by noon all the noise,cooking stress,whatever triggered something and i drank,year before that was the worst and what i was determined NOT to do again,i had woken up early to cook,drove to the gas station and bought two 3- packs of tall boys thinking id sip em throughout the day,of course i guzzled one first thing to get my buzz going while i cooked to make it "funner"well by the time all the food was done 4 hours later,i had downed all that beer(which equals a 12-pack)made myself a sloppy plate,went upstairs and passed out at 1pm,kids and hubs were baffled about why we werent having a proper thanksgiving,i never want to relive a memory like that again,and here i am today finally building a foundation of pride in myself

[NoraC]

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Pauly - Fantastic!! As I was cooking yesterday, I remembered some of my Thanksgivings where I was drinking as I cooked. This was so much better.

[paulywogg]

who am i?

That is so weird i lost that post,retyped it and it showed up anyways,hah it would be hilarious if lost posts just started popping up on random threads haha,kinda bored on this saturday nite,no one's really around on the boards probly cuz they have LIVES! luckies,eh hubs is getting sick,kellie and louie are sick,bradys playing his new game,so its just me bored and reading old threads,jeez some of the things ive posted in the past make me look like a weirdo,probly drunk or hungover,its weird how we dont really see our personalities change when we drink but sheesh when i read back i can totally tell,probly read a little more then watch"flipping vegas"i love that show

[Dottie Belle]

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flipping Vegas...what channel??? I am bored too..

[patrice]

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Love reading your posts Pauly!! I was bored last night too (Sunday here).. and did the wrong thing.. still learning
x
Pat

[paulywogg]

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Dottie flipping vegas is on a&e,you should check it out,Patrice i read that just get back in the saddle sounds like you knew when to quit im a little nervous cuz in 6 days its the infamous day 40 always seems to get me,it cant!!! send strength my way please

[patrice]

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Strength sent .. all the way from Asia so it will work!!!

[Dottie Belle]

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Sending strength from Ohio!! You can do this pauly!!!