30 days???

[magic]

30 days???

Oh LUV

Insist that they control your Mamas pain.

If they can't do it have her referred to a pain clinic or a pain control specialist. It can get tricky and not all physicians want to continue to do it so they refer their patients.

There is no reason she should be in pain, it should be controlled.

Call in the morning and tell them she isn't sleeping, she is in pain and you want to see the dietician. They want to help, they just need to know. Don't need to wait until the next appointment.

I am proud of you for not going to the bar, not so sure I would have been so strong. I know how sad you are, how sad. I'm sad for you.

Go and catch a falling star tonight....

m. xx :l

[Niblet]

30 days???

Luv, you are living proof that there are indeed angels among us...

[MDBiker]

30 days???

Luv, I told you to get some rest. You need to take care of yourself or you won't be able to take care of everyone else. I agree with Magic, they should be able to control the pain. I would ask. Magic it is good to hear from you again; we are glad you are "watching from above". he he Nibs, I apologize for misspelling your name, Nivs carries a whole different connotation to me.

I am having another good day without back pain. Thank God. The weather is beautiful here and I have been getting some time on my scooter. Mama Bear is home this week and I am happy to be alive. I have so many things to be thankful for I sometimes forget to take time to enjoy them.

I'll check in later, I hope you all are having a great day.

bear

[Guest]

30 days???

I called this morning and voiced my concerns...waiting to hear back from the doctor now. Her color is terrible. I went to bed at 8 last night and slept pretty good...was just drained I think.
Bear so glad to hear you are pain free....I know you are relieved. I pray this continues to work for you.
Kids start back to school next week....YEAH.

[morrison]

30 days???

Hey gang. So sorry I didn't post in a few days. Selfish me. I just want to check in to let you know I'm alive. I'll catch up on all the post later so I can respond to all of you. Gotta run right now. Something has gotten into me that just makes me not care again. I don't know what it is. It's not like depression. It's more like pure apathy. Like, why bother? You know? I can't shake it. It's like I have no control over caring. I just feel broken a bit. Like, life is just one major dissappointment after another. Anybody else ever have this? How do you shake it?

[magic]

30 days???

Hi Morrison

I often feel broken.

:l

m. xx

[Guest]

30 days???

Are you kidding me...oh yeah...Morrison, I think that is a normal feeling. ESPECIALLY when you are trying SO hard to do something good and then something bad happens to you...feels like you are being punished so you think "WTF" I KNOW!!!! BUT, that is a miserable way to live. Because the one that suffers the most is you. I know that too cause I learned it the hard way. Life keeps happening and sometimes bad things happen to good people...you have to let it make you stronger and move on. Don't let it break you down.

[Niblet]

30 days???

Might I also add too, why is it that "crap" seems to happen to those of us that care so much? Sometimes life just doesn't seem fair you know ? Yep Morrison I think it's pretty fair to say that we can sympathize with you and on some level or other we have been or are where you are right now my friend... We have to try to gain strenghth from life lessons and as Luv said, move on... It's not easy. The worst feeling in the world is to feel broken and I've been there more than I'd like to be. Although since finding you guys I've had many many fewer times that are not nearly intense atall ! It is almost like a ball that has started rolling and it is gaining steam and speed as it goes.... Maybe it's a pretty pink ball ! Ha !! Haaaa !!
Luv I was hoping to log on and hear some news about some pain meds for your Mama Too Sad ... Just to get her comfortable and sleeping well then she'll likely feel more like eating better we can always hope. I think about you all day all the time.
Bear I cannot tell you just how very HAPPY I am for you !! I can hear it in your posts !! YAHOOO!!! for you !!! That is just wonderful.... I'm saying prayers for you while out in the barn still though... tee ! heee!! I'm gonna find something on TV so that I can do my workout tonight... I had the mennonites repair the tension belt for my eliptical machine... Those folks will only take 4.00 for the repair job and I gotta say they have replaced the nylon with harness nylon sooo I figure when I'm about 83 it might wear out !!!:H giggle !! giggle !!! Have a wonderful evening everybody, love you'll , hugs,:l

[Niblet]

30 days???

Hello More2 !!!! I think that you and I were posting at the exact time Hon !! There is always next year as you say to find the Perfect home for you !!! Glad to hear from you,,, You must be soo busy just getting home and stuff.... Take Care ! Hugs,

[MDBiker]

30 days???

Hey guys, it is really good to hear from all of you. I can't tell you how glad I am that I am not drinking. Work is pumping, like everyone needs something at the same time. Normally I would have come home tonight and just wasted myself. Tonight I came home and visited with mama bear, watched a little TV, went outside to watch the people leavng the lake, watched a movie, and now the day is gone and I am happy. I never thought I would be happy again when I was drinking. I figured I would just drink until I killed myself and that would be it. That was a bad plan, but I wasn't sane either. I am so thankful for all of you and the others here on the site. I could not have done this without you all, especially you Luv. I just want to take a moment to thank all of you for caring enough to help me get my life back on track. I really am so thankful I can't express it here. I pray for all of you everyday, and I pray that I will be able to help others find a similar answer and maintain the state of awareness I have now.

God Bess You All

luv ya


Bear

[Guest]

30 days???

We certainly have found our group that for us, has made this work and that is what is important..IT WORKS! I know I would not be sobber right now if it were not for this thread. I know I can come every day and tell you all what is going on and you will listen...not once have you said..."please, not again"...I am so grateful for that.

So, I am ready to hear some Bootsie stories and for Tex to get home.

More2, I suppose it just was not in the cards so to speak for the house right now, you have done enough hunting you know what you want, so next year hopefully you will find something a bit easier.

[morrison]

30 days???

Hey All. I want to also say Thank You. I'm in a bad place now, but have been worse. I know now, there is hope. I've been sober before, and I can do it again. I gotta get out of this rut though. Maybe it is depression. I've had so many mood swings in life, I can't even tell half the time. I know I get scared, which I guess is good. If I'm scared, it means I DO care. I'm so scared I will get another DUI. I know how I am. Time will pass, I'll forget about this, and then, wammo, another screw up. Did any of you ever have this fear? It's insane, right? Like, if I'm so worried, just don't do it. Duh!! That is the scary thing. As I sit here and type, I am scared something bad will happen. Why? Because its how my life has been. I never learn my lesson. It's just pure insanity. I wish I could hang out with you guys. I really don't know what to do sometimes. I'm in a situation where the only friends I have here in town are drunks and addicts. All of them!!! I can't get a girlfriend, cause I'm a mess. Well, not the type of girl I want. Haha. How messed up is that? I'm a manic-depressive alcoholic, but I've always been particular with women. Where do I get off with that attitude. I should just be happy people talk to me at all. Wow, that was some rambling right there. Oh well, it's therapeutic. Bear, great to see you posting again. Your attitude is pretty amazing. I hope I can find your success and stick with it. Sounds like you used to hit it pretty hard. Me too. I actually had pins and needles in my feet the other day, and it freaked me out. I can only assume it was from boozing for a few days straight and not eating any food. The powder don't help either. more2, Maybe I should just print out all of our conversations on this board and the judge will see I HAVE been trying. Sad thing though, unless he is/was a drunk himself, he won't understand. I'm just scum in his eyes. Wow, stop rambling!! There, I had to stop myself. Be back when my mind is right. Detox time. Oh, the horror!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Guest]

30 days???

More2 I thought you had 2 sons...I feel like crying for you. I just don't want mine to grow up. I know they are though, but the baby is 9 and he still loves me so. (thank God) My daughter, she LOVES clothes. She is my shopping buddy. She and I can do some damage at the mall. I splurged BIG this year and bought her a Coach purse as her back to school purse. She was SO SO happy. She loves shopping and me too. I am ever so grateful I can spoil them. I grew-up DIRT poor so I over do sometimes, but the way I see it is if I died today...we had one HELL OF A TIME! She has TONS of Mommy shopping trip memories! They are our most fun times together and we always end them off with pedicures.
Now the little man...he doesn't want to walk into a mall for NOTHING UNLESS...I REPEAT UNLESS we are buying something game related...like for one of his game stations...HA HA HA Give him a pair of jeans, flip flops, and a t-shirt and he's good to go.

[Guest]

30 days???

Morrison, buddy...we are here for you. Keep posting. Keep reading. Keep coming here...just don't give up hope. I wish we could all hang out too!

[Guest]

30 days???

Ok guys, doctor called and they want to see Mama tomorrow instead of Friday. BUT, the nurse already told me her CT scan that she had Monday...is not good! The chemo has done absolutely nothing to shrink her tumors. She will be very upset to hear this. I knew it as she has worsened instead of showing any signs of remaining stable or improving. We will hear next step tomorrow, but the nurse seem to think HOSPICE is near. I told her Mama can't weigh 94lbs now...she is VERY tiny. She said the radiologist had noted it on his report Monday....that he could see every bone in her body. This is the absolute WORST death....I would not wish this on my worst enemy. Cancer is a horrible, horrible disease. When Billy died I spent a year just grieving and in shock ...mad because I didnt get to say goodbye BUT today I am so grateful he didnt suffer one second...he never knew. I suppose all things happen in life to make us realize worse can happen....so as bad as any situation may seem...it can always get worse. Just hang tight and be grateful for each day...I am just so grateful I have all of you to come to through this!!!! Love you all!!!