One Step at a Time - December 2013

[Lizann]

One Step at a Time - December 2013

Wow, getting together sounds like fun. Count me in. I've been working these past few days. Am I the only one? Holidays were exhausting! Next year I take the day after Christmas off. So busy here this morning, now I feel like the clocks not even moving. Don't really have any plans for the weeken, maybe just take the decorations down.

[Dottie Belle]

One Step at a Time - December 2013

Hi all,
Off to the zoo for a festival of lights thingy. It is 45F here so not too cold for Ohio....I am over dressed probably.
Finally getting to do some fun things...it is about darn time!!!
Back later

[allswell]

One Step at a Time - December 2013

Hi everyone,

Been a somewhat lazy week which is just fine. Things pick up business wise big time at the beginning of the year so a break is definitely welcome.

Hey Dottie, went to the Festival of Lights last year for the first time. It was great fun.

Hope everyone has a great weekend.

[mama bear]

One Step at a Time - December 2013

everyone sounds good
House is moderatly clean, and YES I will travel and clean for money!!
Just in from pizza with Clay...he is my heart and soul. We had a long talk about all sorts of stuff and I just adore him....he is sick of football Kradle, but knows that is his chance to go to college as we simply cannot afford it.
Not so blue about Pop today...hiding has been good. Bret (hubs) was crying last night, but we talked about what a good man Pop is and this is the natural cycle of life. Doesn't make it any easier, but it is what it is.
I am watching "The L Word" on Netflix.OMG!!! Full blown lesbian stuff but good story line.
I want some new kitties. Lucky Cat has worms...eeewwwww
Gonna chill and then probably clean some more tomorrow.
Love You Nora...hope all is well. The horror on my kids faces helps me restrain.
xoxoxoxooxox
Mama

[Dottie Belle]

One Step at a Time - December 2013

Had a great time today..took some fabulous pictures and a video, I can play the video on the camera but haven't figured it out yet on the computer...too tired tonight so I will play with it tomorrow.
So glad we went instead of staying home to drink like I did last year....what a waste of time...
Life is good!!

[paulywogg]

One Step at a Time - December 2013

Cannot beat these after christmas blues

[allswell]

One Step at a Time - December 2013

Sorry to hear it Pauly, the holidays are hard for a lot of us me included. Do you have fun plans and goals for 2014? That kind of thing is what get's me out of the funks I find myself in.

[Dottie Belle]

One Step at a Time - December 2013

Pauly getting out today really helped my mood...is there anything fun u could do??

[Kradle123]

One Step at a Time - December 2013

Not much going on here either, Liz...and for the first time im looking forward to taking down the decorations. In fact I thought about doing this yesterday. This is completely Unlike me. I am the Christmas queen so what's up?? I think I am just anxious to get out from under this awful year...:yuk:

And speaking of which. I must come clean as well. I was over on The Mission Thread and JvO had an excellent point that if we're not honest here, it's a complete waste of time. So with that said, I had a bottle of rum in the house the last week and did have 1-2 drinks four nights but not Christmas. Tonight was a small one and am now done done done....they were all smooth the edges drinks- not let's get the hell outta here drinks. Still, I must move to the next level . It made me realize that I am utterly reluctant to show myself, be myself.....it's nearly impossible for me but I can't stay cloaked in that anymore. I'll never get out of this if I do!
I will do this. I will do this! :durn:

K9 has 2 years, Nora has a 100 plus days, Dottie's like on 50 something, maybe more. Paulys in the forties...Liz and Alswell not sure but I think your all up there in double digits.
Part of me is still grieving- no strike that- a huge part of me is still grieving about all my girl friends that have left me or I left them....we should have all been getting AL out of our lives together IMO - not hurting one another with silence and and desertion .

But getting AL up and out with all of you has been incredible. I'd be down the tubes for sure if it weren't for all of you. I wouldn't have been present enough to find help for Mathiue so thank you all for that! I'd be sick and divorced - the twins would be growing up with fights and fear instead of with dancing and kitties.

I'm living proof that all of you are absolutely vital to this place and to people's healing.
The only obstacle I have left is me...and I'm a pretty hefty block indeed- well, block head at least.
Love you all. Snuggled with Sedona and the dog.
Oh and Mama, the kitties went to their first vet appointment today...ring worms and tape worms- gross gross gross: uch: at least all the fleas are gone! and Clay sounds strong and you have a great, close relationship with him. And there's no question that his working for his own education is going to put him WAY ahead of the game - pun intended! My parents paid for me and I took so much for granted; wasted so much time. It's a blessing in disguise- like you Ms. Pea...:l

[Lizann]

One Step at a Time - December 2013

Omg kradle, great post. Brought tears to my eye. I too am coming clean. I've had wine in the house and the temptation is to great, I succumbed. I too am done, done done. I woke up this morning feel anxious and depressed, do I decided to check in here, and already I feel better. Your words were inspirational to me. Kradle for me it was 88 days and I felt amazing. Gotta run, retail therapy at the outlets with my girls which I wasn't really into but now i am, but I'll be back later!

Love you guys! Hugs to all

[mama bear]

One Step at a Time - December 2013

What a sweet post Kradle.
It's very simple...if there is booze in the house, I will drink it. I made it a week once with a six pack in the frig. One whole week...
Therapy taught me addiction is an insidious, sneaky lover. One sip, one hit, one bump,whatever...and we are doomed. It's full on get wasted time. We have to be diligent and treat our bodies like temples. That being said, relapse is the norm and is expected. We must forgive ourselves, pick up the pieces and move on.
This place has been amazing for me, too. Honesty is vital, but I understand the need to keep our demons to ourselves. I have done it. That shows I have some work to do too.
We will get there.
Get the booze out of the house loves, and we are one step closer.
Hugs Liz and Kradle. And Nora, please check in.

[Dottie Belle]

One Step at a Time - December 2013

Hi all,
Kradle and Liz I so get that..I had to do a total sweep of the house and there is one bottle stil missing and dh cant find it either...it was a bottle crown royal we found in dads basement..I drank half of it thsi summer and put it somewhere safe...LOL so I guess it will turn up some day but dh has instructions to throw it away if he finds it first. Id I had wine in the house I would obsess over it until it was gone..just cant go there...
Off to visit dad and run a few errands...I am so glad to have a clear head and able to do what I want now....I remember in September when folks told me it would get better I just didnt believe them....well now I do...it really does get better and I don't think about drinking all the darn time...what a relief.
Hang in there kradle and liz...we are here for you ! And everyone else too!!

[mama bear]

One Step at a Time - December 2013

enjoy your visit with your Dad Dottie.....
I hope he is well today!
I never know how Pop is going to be....good days and bad.
Well said about wine in the house....and it's really good to know you stop thiking about it all the time...

[mama bear]

One Step at a Time - December 2013

I was just reading something online about alcohol and anxiety. It said that when you drink, your body feels anxiety free, and the next day your "happiness factory" is is shut down cause it was falsely stimulated into making you think you are anxiety free.
Makes perfect sense, doesn't it?

[allswell]

One Step at a Time - December 2013

I agree that my drinking had put me in the place where one sip and it was full on getting wasted. Oddly I could have a drink of white wine (which I hate) but beer, gin, and any other of the hard liquors and there was only one decision left that day, night or weekend and that was how F'd up I was going to get. I've spent a long time getting to know myself on this issue and the past several years, with a few flops, I finally get it.